#tmdoms

im not saying this as a request or anything like it so please dont feel like im demanding you to write about it or whatever i just want to express how much i love your fic and how often im still thinking about it and mourning it because its over and i miss all of them….like, i cant move on from the boys but theres not much more fics about the characters im interested in so im just constantly thinking non stop about the show and about your fic….(but really i loved it (i think i’ve already said that too many times in your ao3 comment section

first off: thanks so much for sending this - it's always nice to hear kind words, but more to the point, it's incredible as a writer to hear reactions, what certain parts of my stories make you think or feel, so thank you for sharing!

re: requests or request-adjacent comments - don't feel bad; always welcome. even a flat out request is ok so long as it's understood that I might not fulfill it. but sometimes hearing what someone is interested in does inspire an idea I want to write, and it's kind of nice/flattering regardless :)

re: smut. I don't write it much anymore... there was a time in 2020 where I wrote a lot, idk what got into me, I think it was largely that I was writing for a fandom where smut was very popular (as in many, lol) and i wanted my fics to be popular... I have nothing against it but I generally prefer like, the sexy setup and "fade to black" as I did in the scene you mention, because that's where like 80% of the interest for me lies in sex scenes, while the actual play-by-play of who puts what body part where tends to feel awkward to write and harder to make actually, like, compelling. so that's largely why there's none of that in tmdoms.

BUT. I have good news...

i really wanted to read more about the shift in their dynamic with elena holding more power and control over maeve….like, it has been discussed before the way maeve has to “hold back” with elena because she’s human and all of that and i really feel like it would be so interesting to explore more how this affects them, not just in sex but like in other aspect of their dynamic as well

this right here is basically what the fic I'm currently working on is about. it comes at it from a different angle... it's a prequel to TMDOMS, post-s3 but before the fic starts, exploring their dynamic while maeve is powerless.

that's what I'm trying to finish at the moment (it's been in my head for agesssssss, need to actually shape it properly though). so hopefully that might appeal?

I will say though that you now have me thinking more about what that temp v sex scene would've been like. no promises obviously, but it'll go around in my noggin, we'll see what happens... (this reminds me that I think i was planning a oneshot back when s3 was airing of elena on temp v + maeve = sex, I can't find it now, I don't think i got all that far in writing it, maybe I just deleted what I had written bc I repurposed it into TMDOMS, but one thing I do remember, was that my original concept for what power elena would get from Temp V was invisibility. going for what would be meaningful/ironic, since one of the biggest pain points for her was having to stay "invisible" while being with Maeve... lol. but I think what I came up with in TMDOMS is better, even if more boring on the surface. some lines i write i just feel like "WHOA, that's a great line", and i love it enough that I kinda force the scene around it... and one of those lines is: "That makes sense... the Supe you hate the most is me.")

i've resolved to try to do more things that make me feel "cringe" and stop letting made up rules control me

right now is maybe the best and only chance to catch the attention of the small group of people who still remember who maeve is and actually wished for more story about her

omg... I feel the same. I didn't post about it because a) i'm trying not to post too much about s5 to not get into a ranting-and-feeling-more-negative mode, and b) there were so many other things in that episode that were even stupider to me, but yea.. that's not MY mr. marathon! MY mr. marathon is maybe not a hero but he's just a pretty nice guy who never got into any major scandals. also, he presumably sat next to maeve, just like A-Train. and so i like to think that even if they weren't super close per se, that they had sort of a pleasant, peaceful relationship, not rocking the boat with each other. similar to maeve and a-train.

it's funny to me you cite #queenlight as where my interpretation comes from, i mean not that funny because i think technically the brief mentions of him in that fic are the most i've ever mentioned him in any fic, BUT in my head I actually thought about him more in the context of my long maeve fic, and did have some flashbacks planned that he would've featured in...

since we're Appreciating the GOOD Mr. M hours, I might as well take this as an excuse to share the flashback scene i had in my head that made me love this version of this minor character... which I didn't end up getting to include in TMDOMS, mainly because there were already a couple really pivotal and eventful flashbacks in this same period of her life and there wasn't an easy way to wedge this scene in with them.

but here they are - in all their untouched, rough outline glory - for context this is set when Maeve is 28, at a farewell gala for Mr. Marathon's "retirement"

been thinkin about this moment in early tmdoms lately, which is something that feels a bit odd in retrospect, out of place/character for elena, just because i didn't elaborate on it much... but it's very deliberate, in my head...

elena, not a violent person by nature, probably considers herself anti-gun and all that, but 100% bought a gun and was (on some level) ready to use it to protect maeve. now, it never comes up again in the story because i think this is against her usual nature, and i think once maeve has her powers again, elena would be relieved to default back to the state of generally not even Thinking about violence and death because Maeve is there to Protect them both from it (in more ways than one) (there's emotional baggage and shit with that, how she doesn't like the idea of maeve lying to her/keeping dark stuff from her, but also in a way kind of does indirectly appreciate it, like she does NOT thrive knowing all the terrible shit maeve carries around in her head, but... that's another post!)

when maeve is powerless, though, elena steps up. not only is it a shift of "maeve can't protect us anymore", not only is it, "people might be looking for maeve intending to kill her", but on top of that, it is: "i cannot lose her again." elena at this point experienced what it felt like to see maeve die. turned out she didn't, haha yay happy ending, but elena went through that. and after getting her back, elena simply cannot and will not go through it again. hence her resolve to take some bolder, "out of character" actions to protect her. and if push came to shove, I do think elena would use that gun. she would probably get REALLY depressed and scarred over it (think asta in resident alien s2 after she shoots the guy to protect harry - exactly like that) but she would do it. and i'm not sure if maeve fully realizes all this... but on some level feels it. and appreciates it.

this also ties into like. something that might feature a bit if i ever write that tmdoms prequel lesbian bed death fic (lol) but in that stretch of time where they're in hiding and maeve is powerless and recovering I think elena is a fucking pressure cooker of emotion because - happy, overjoyed, full of love, yes, but that also used as a mechanism to repress to the insane, overwhelming amount of fear. just so much fear every second of ever day. not so much for herself (probably a bit) but for maeve. now that maeve is vulnerable... now that she has viscerally experienced the idea of maeve's mortality... every moment is plagued with anxious thoughts.

what if someone finds us. what if they wonder why i moved. what if they find the cabin. what if i get audited and they track maeve's money from her shell account. but ALSO: what if maeve has internal injuries from the explosion. what if she's dying and i don't know. what if her eye gets infected and we can't go to the hospital. what if she goes for a walk and gets eaten by a bear. and on and on and on. and any time maeve like, trips, or forgets to use an oven mitt, or something, it's concern, it's "nagging" from elena because the fear is absolutely overhwleming. what if she dies, for real, on my watch?????

in addition to often thinking way too hard about the ~implications~ of minor details in established media (details which are obviously the way they are for expedience/concision/narrative function), i also think way too hard about the ~implications~ of minor details in my own writing.

for example: from TMDOMS. consider maeve's secret stash of cash, which elena says NOT to use but as soon as they're not fully living together, maeve starts using it for everything, including (ashley's) rent.