#tma 136

- Jon ep 136: The Puppeteer

MAG 136 - The Puppeteer

doodle 136/200; days left - 9/110 9/128

From her exasperated tone it sounds like he always had it in his hands, constantly fiddling with it, and anytime someone mentioned it he bizarrely and very abruptly changes the subject. When anyone tried to take it, he would go feral protecting it, only to promptly forget what he had been doing and why.

I bet that lighter has been the talk of the institute for months until the apocalypse began. Bets were made to see who can get Jon to talk about it or give it away. Daisy nearly won in episode 136 but in the end every attempt was met with failure.

It made Jon’s trauma and self-loathing obvious and unignorable, plus that he’s making a clear, deeply human effort to not only do something but to do better and right by the people he still has left. It made Martin help from behind the scenes for probably more than one reason, but it shows he does still care and can and will stand up to Peter when he feeds him BS. Basira got the piece back she was searching for, even if Daisy was no longer what she expected. Melanie now has someone who gets being fed and driven by your power and dealing with the hole that leaves.

And Daisy? Daisy of all people has become one of my favorite characters. She’s as herself and as human as she’s maybe ever felt and she is embracing and taking full advantage of that! She’s here and thankful for that and is going to knock some sense into everyone’s heads so they can appreciate it, too. She’s reaching out in that stubborn and no-nonsense way that Jon’s original pleas for teamwork couldn’t effectively match. She doubts herself as much as Jon does but she’s forging a path forward instead of freezing and sinking into the despair - the exact kind of attitude the others have been trying to embody on their own, but they just can’t do on their own.

Maybe the rational, pragmatic thing was not to take the risk to go into the coffin - without backup, without any guarantee that the anchor he decided on would work, without any guarantee Daisy wouldn’t kill him on sight - the risk that’s so clearly skewed against Jon, but that’s a big part of why he took it at all.

But the emotional, human thing was to go into the coffin - to not leave anyone behind, to cling to and take advantage of every scrap of hope still left, to face horrible odds and try anyway - and that paid off, with survival and support.

Jon did not want to be like Gertrude when he thought she was a disorganized head archivist. Jon did not want to be like Gertrude when he found out she was was a cruel Archivist. Jon is still trying to figure out his role and what he is going to do, but he has made the choice of what he will not do and is sticking to it, even if it feels short-sighted and hopeless in the moment. Jon’s “big picture” includes as many individuals, allies, friends as possible.

Jon’s not a moron. He’s also not a monster. He made his choice and still has the opportunity to make new choices, better choices. The coffin did not seem like the better choice, but look where it’s gotten us now?