#tlsspoilers

OOC: Ignore the fact that this song was on Dance Moms and pay more attention to the lyrics. I feel like this song really works for Calista in The Last Story.

Why?

It’s because in the beginning she was so put down. Her uncle abused her, and Jirall did, too. She wasn’t allowed to go out of the castle. She wasn’t allowed to do what she wanted. She was trapped, just like the caged bird in her room.

This is what I found in the tropes for TLS specifically for my muse:

Pet the Dog: During the Epilogue you can find Arganan's diary in his chambers. It serves as a big posthumous Pet the Dog; detailing his insecurities, descent into madness and guilt for using Calista as a pawn.

He hadn’t expected to see his brother and his sister in law when he woke up.

He didn’t even know what to do, what to say, and he started bawling immediaetly when the grief and regret came to him. He’d killed his brother, after all, and abused their daughter physically and emotionally during the years after that. He expected them to be angry, to torment him with whatever they could. 

But no. They forgave him. They understood what he was talking about, thinking about. And they embraced him and the three ended up talking for hours and hours.

It felt so good to be back with family, even if they were all dead now save for Calista. And one day he’d talk with Calista and hopefully they could make up for each other.

He didn’t ever think he’d find Dagran here with him like this.

Arganan had woken up to find the young mercenary leader by his side. Only Dagran, and no one else. He didn’t try to wake up Dagran (he was still asleep when Arganan woke up and besides, Arganan liked watching Dagran sleep) and instead waited, trying to figure out what to say.

After Dagran finally woke up, the two had been unsure of what to really say initially. And then they started talking to each other. Arganan found out Dagran’s secrets. Dagran found out his. Both were ashamed of the sins they’d committed but both wanted to move on, too. And since they had each other’s company, why not try to help the other move on?

Both were more than sure that they were dead, yes. That they might not see their friends and family for a good, long while. They would never be alone, though.

He didn’t quite understand what was going on when he first woke up. There was a strange warmth and light around him and memories of the past flashed through his mind.

Regret came to his senses first and he cried, curled up on the ground. He felt like some weakling but part of him needed to let out all the hurt somehow and it wasn’t like he could displace it onto anyone or anything else. He was dead, he was gone—alright, not completely gone. At least he hoped he wasn’t completely nonexistent. But memories of those things he’d done still hurt him inside.

There were small comforts in the silent world he was in, though, and they came to him after all the bad memories washed through him. He might never find out where exactly he was, though he had a few theories. Perhaps he was in some sort of afterlife? Or maybe he was absorbed by the Outsider completely when he broke up into those blue particles, and now literally inside the Outsider in some sense. He had a feeling it was closer to the second theory. But wherever he was, the warmth and light was soothing in a way.

And...it helped him to think a little. Though he was alone, he felt like as if someone was always watching him warmly, like the tender gaze of a loving mother. It was comforting. Strange, for sure, but comforting. It was okay. He could get used to this.

He wasn’t sure of how he managed to get out of the chamber that once contained the Lazulis half of the Outsider.

But something (guilt?) struck him and he couldn’t help but try to find Calista. 

Calista Calista Calista please be here, please hear me please—

I want to...to...

He would try to touch her, but he couldn’t. He’d just pass straight through her.

And then he realized then that he was dead.

That she was untouchable, no matter how much he tried to grab her.

That she couldn’t hear him no matter how much he screamed. She couldn’t see him no matter how much he tried to be in her presence.

Untouchable, invisible, unheard...all the times he hurt her came rushing back and all he could do was stand there and watch as he became nothing. He knew she was a better person than he could ever be but there was no chance that they could ever be close to each other.

Why did everything hurt...?

He woke up quietly, but couldn’t get himself to sit up in bed. He didn’t want to; he was too sore to even think of doing that. 

He was in bed, in his room. No one else was there but him. What happened?

The pain of Mitra seared through him and he shuddered coldly. Right. That happened. 

Why had he been so foolish? He found himself hoping, a little bit, that his niece was alright. That she was safe. He didn’t hear the cries of war, of anguish coming from anywhere. Was Lazulis saved, now?