#tldrabble

But, then, what eighteen year old didn't go through that?  

Tessa had chosen a secluded seat at the bar away from the crowd where, hopefully, she wouldn't be bothered too much. This plan was rather vain; no amount of hiding in the shadows would stop people from coming over and trying to chat her up -- she hoped Kaspia was happy about this, which she likely was, if her grin was anything to judge by. 

“ Are you going to talk to him? ” Kaspia had asked, shouting to be heard above the music. When Tessa gave no sign of understanding who she was referring to, the brunette sighed, gesturing over towards the opposite side of the room with a wry smile on her lips. “ Colms cutie, genius. I could be wrong -- which I'm not -- but I think he has a thing for you. ”

Tessa followed her friend's gaze, and laughed with a small shake of her head. “ Colms Cutie? Don't be ridiculous, Vic doesn't like girls. He likes shooting guns and whispering police code in the place of sweet nothings. We're just friends, Kas. And, besides, look at him and look at me. I mean... ”

“ You're the blind one, Linden. Not him, ” Kaspia declared, ordering another drink. “ I'm gonna go talk to him and Han for a minute. Han still owes me ten doxings for that bet. I'll be right back, okay? Can you survive for just a few minutes without me? ”

Tessa didn't reply, shoving her friend away instead with a small smile on her lips. It vanished the instant Kaspia was gone, however. She didn't mean to be such a solemn soul these days, but it was hard to smile after what she'd seen. Maybe, she just wasn't strong enough to handle it, or maybe she just wasn't ready to see the things that she'd seen, and take responsibility for the lives that were beyond her help. Every time she closed her eyes she could remember that dead look in Rhys' eyes, just void of life and that spark.

She gestured for a refill on her drink, muttering a thank you to the bartender who had already gone off to the next customer before hearing it. Tessa didn't even notice when another person slid into the seat next to her-- not until she smelt the overwhelming scent of whiskey-breath. Harmony.

“ What's a pretty thing like you doing sittin' all alone? ” He wasn't bad looking, the guy who posed the question. He wore a pinstriped suit and his cheeks were flushed from drinking, was about a decade too old for Tessa, too, but not bad looking. Just not quite... well, not quite at the Colms Cutie standard. 

“ What most do in bars: drinking, ” She replied, though didn't do so rudely. Just in a tone that lacked any real invitation to conversation. Mr-not-so-bad-looking seemed a bit too drunk to pick up on that, though. Unfortunately. Before Tessa had even registered that he was on the track of bothering her, another person leaned between the two of them, placing his hand on Mr-not-so-bad-looking's arm.

“ Hey, she's my girlfriend. Back off, ” And, to Tessa's surprise, the man did. She furrowed her brow, watching as the guy wobbled away before turning to the one who'd interjected on her behalf -- to her surprise, once again, she found that it was a familiar face.

“ Reese? ” She didn't keep the disbelief from her voice -- Tessa had thought he'd gone back to Bilming after the clinic closed. He smiled, and calmly took possession of the seat beside her own. She turned back to her watered-down drink, wrapping a hand around the cool glass before speaking: “ You're still here. ”

“ I decided to stick around for awhile. ” He shrugged, “ How are you? ”

“ I've been fine. Just busy with classes and such, you know how it is. ”

“ No. How are you really? ”

She ignored that, looking away from his rather intense gaze. “ It's funny, isn't it? A guy will back off if another guy lays claim, but they never seem to back off if the girl just isn't interested. ”

He looked a bit taken aback, and Tessa bit her lip. That was probably not the best place to steer the conversation. “ I... never really thought of it that way, Miss Linden. ”  

“ Tessa. ”

“ Sorry? ” She smiled, and found it was easier to do so with him. It was the shared experience, she thought. If anyone understood what she was going through, it was him.

“ Call me Tessa. ”

“ Alright. Tessa. ” His soft vowels seemed to caress the word, and she realised just then that she'd never much liked her name until she heard him say it. It could have been the alcohol, or the way the light hit his features, but she knew for a fact that she was in trouble. He was a few years older than her, had dark hair, greenish-grey eyes, and a smile that took her off to places she'd never been. It was that night that she learned all about him -- or, rather, the more factual aspects of his life. Not much about the man he truly was. That was for her to discover over time.

But, she was definitely in trouble.

                                                                                 ----

“ That's him? ” Kaspia whispered, looking over Tessa's shoulder with her mouth dropped open. Tessa was tempted to close it for her, but her friend snapped attention back to the blonde with a sudden grin. “ He's gorgeous. He's, like, a full on man, too. Harmony, Tessa, I don't know whether to be proud of you or slightly jealous. ”

Vic rolled his eyes. “ He's alright. ”

Kaspia and Han exchanged a knowing glance. 

“ Right, well, we can all stop looking now... ” Tessa scolded, “ You're making it obvious. ” 

“ Really? I'm not so sure about that, I thought it was fairly obvious enough with the puppy eyes you both make at each other, Tess. ” Han said, an insufferable smirk on his face. Vic laughed, shaking his head at his best friend.

Tessa couldn't quite ignore the weak flip her stomach gave, though.

“ What's he still doing here? ” Asked Vic, moving around his salad with his fork. He looked utterly uninterested in eating anything healthy. “ Why isn't he back in Bilming? ”

“ He said he liked the city. He's thinking about relocating here permanently, ”

Kaspia waggled her eyebrows. “ Oh, is it the city he likes? Or maybe the finer attractions it boasts, if you catch my drift. ”

“ Shut up, Kaspia. ” Tessa and Vic chorused.

                                                                                                 ----

Spending afternoons at the pub, followed by a short walk along the canals, had become their regular way of meeting; Tessa and Erik. They'd nurse a pint and talk for hours, and she'd laugh at the sheer joy of seeing him, and hearing him. It was like she'd never laughed before he came around, and that there was no one else who understood her as he did. Kaspia came close, but there was an undeniable similarity between the two of them, kindred spirits perhaps. Whatever it was, in the weeks that followed their meeting, neither person could really deny that something was drawing them to one another. Tessa would not have called it love, Erik probably wouldn't have either, but it very well could have been the beginning of something like that.

His father wanted him to become a Doctor, and from a young age he never really had any choice in the matter. It worked out though, Erik had explained to her, as there really wasn't much else he could see himself doing. He wanted to help people, and heal them, just as she did. It took being with him for Tessa to realise that she was in the right place.

Tessa wouldn't be the first to boast a perfect memory. It wasn't a bad memory, though her mother would be the first to say otherwise, but it was far from anything worth recognition. Many years later, however, Tessa would find that she could recall every day of those first few weeks and months perfectly, as though there was a special little place reserved for them somewhere in her mind.

There was one day in particular; getting caught in the rain. The exact look on his face when she asked him to stay. His hands clasped within her own. The skin of his arms rubbing against her face as he towel dried her hair. It had been gentle -- not the passionate kind of drama one might expect from such a romance, but sweet. With open eyes, as though somewhere deep inside, they both knew it wouldn't last.

A clinic had opened up down in Seventh Octant, in response to a virus that was rapidly spreading among the citizens there. It was a poor area, and according to the rumours and whispers she'd heard in the quiet periods her classes, there hadn't been a lot of government funding to keep the clinic in proper condition. They didn't have as much supplies as they needed, or as much help either. She'd read that there were only three graduated doctor's that were working there. It was ridiculous. What was even more ridiculous, to Tessa at least, was just how outraged all her classmates seemed to be about it, yet they continued on with their days as if a complaint was all they could offer to help. That's when she had decided to volunteer.

She was only a student, just starting her second year in nursing, but Tessa figured that any help at all would be appreciated. She was one of the best students in her year, after all, and certainly much more comfortable under stress than some other peers -- namely that Ladrian bloke (she would never forget how he started crying before their timed exam even started). So, overall, Tessa was fairly confident that this kind of experience was just what she needed and that in doing so, she would be helping a good cause and saving a few lives in the process. She didn't realise that such an innocent endeavor, brought on by the most noble of motivations, would end up changing her life far more than expected -- or even welcomed, at that particular point in time.

It had been her third week volunteering when the breaking point came. She'd already lost more patients than she'd been able to save, and while there was a comfort in knowing that there were people out there -- alive and breathing -- because of her, it was still taking a toll on her conscious that she was losing people. Was this what the rest of her life would be like? It didn't seem so real, back in the classroom, when she was learning about all the different arteries and bones in the body but when she was seeing people suffering right in front of her... how could she have been so naive as to think that she could save the world from any sickness or wound?

He'd come in on a stretcher, already in his current state, and it was only herself and a pre-med student that could offer him any attention. It wasn't the virus that had gotten him though. Being in the poorer Octants had meant they got quite a few wounded people, mostly victims from stabbing, but this case had been a gunshot wound. He was crying, and Tessa had done her best to console him, promise him that he would be just fine and it wasn't so bad, in fact, the entrance wound wasn't bad at all. He would live. She promised him. Just like she promised so many other people. Her word was shot to damnation by then.

Tessa could still remember shouting for the other nurse, screaming her name and hurrying her to come and help, as both she and the med student -- Reese or Ross, was his name -- did their best to stop the bleeding and patch up the wound. It was so much bigger than she would have imagined. It had to have been a shotgun or... something with larger rounds. All she could think of was the pain he must have felt, and how she was failing to take it away. And, then Rhys was gone. She held it together pretty well. But, Reese hadn't. He'd thrown the blood soaked rag on the floor while crying out in frustration, expressing all the emotions she didn't dare to let out. Tessa had to be stronger than that.

Erik Reese was the pre-med's name. He was from Bilming, attending Medical school there, but living in the city to help out his uncle with the clinic. His uncle was one of the Doctors that had put it all together in the first place, apparently. They were sitting outside together, after it all had happened, being relieved by the Doctor that had gotten there too late and a few others for a change of shift. Tessa couldn't bring herself to leave yet, and neither could he by the looks of it.

“ You're a good nurse, ” He had broken their silence, and Tessa realised that, like her, he couldn't tear away his gaze from the dried blood on her hands. She couldn't get it off. A part of her didn't want to.

“ I'm not, ” She scoffed, “ I never want to treat another patient again. I'd rather be a butcher, ” The words came out harsher than she'd meant them, too. But, they were true. There was not way she could make a life out of this.

“ Then why did you come here? ”

“ Same reason as you, I wanted to help. ” She shrugged her shoulders softly, finally looking away from her hands. “ I still want to. I just-- I thought I would be better. I thought I'd make a difference. ”

“ You do make a difference. Your touch, it--it calms people. I've seen it. It matters to them, ” He swallowed, eyes searching her own. “ That's a gift from Harmony. You should be proud, Miss Linden. ”

“ No, it isn't, and I'm not. ” She shook her head, standing up to leave. “ Harmony would never give such a terrible thing. ”

His name was Rhys -- the man choking on his own blood. He had a daughter that wasn't much younger than she was.