Fic Rec: "Tip/Tilt" by Rainjoy (the author of "Fix")
Title: Tip/Tilt Author: Rainjoy Rating: R Status: Complete Warnings: Angst, minor character death, intense depression, intense grief, discussions of suicide, borderline eating disorders, sex used as a coping device, the weird things people do when their entire world goes to hell. Necessary Note: "So, a while back I dipped into the badboy!Blaine thing mostly because I thought lol the crack oh hang on wait that could be quite interesting. And then people were like, do badboy!Kurt! And I was like, no, because Kurt would never act out like that, because Kurt always has his dad to think about. But then I remembered season two, and, well. This is not Kurt behaving badly as such. This is Kurt appallingly, devastatingly sad." Summary: Burt Hummel doesn't survive his heart attack. Three months later, Blaine meets a beautiful, sharpened, hollowed-out boy who just can't manage to care anymore.
Chapter One | Chapter Two | Chapter Three
To begin with, you should know that Rainjoy is an absolutely devastatingly good author; everything she writes has so much reality and emotion to it that it hurts, and the way she gets inside the characters' heads leaves me breathless. This is the second time that she's taken a fun, fluffy little fandom trend and transformed it into an aching masterpiece of characterization. She did it with "Fix" and badboy!Blaine, and oh my god does she ever do it again here. "Tip/Tilt" is without a doubt one of the most incredible, shattering, real depictions of watching someone deteriorate and self-destruct because of grief that I have ever had the honour to read in fanfic or published books alike.
Both the boys are so, so very perfectly in character despite the change of events. Blaine, who never stops and thinks and just wants to fix things and make them better, is such a contrast to a Kurt who just can't bring himself to relate or care about anything that used to matter to him so much. The story is told from Blaine's perspective, and reading his reactions makes you genuinely feel as though you're watching someone you love and care about be in pain. If you have ever lost someone, the emotions in "Tip/Tilt" are so accurate it's terrifying.
"Tip/Tilt" left me feeling raw and worn out and scrubbed clean -- but achingly, incredibly hopeful. It's a devastating story that sneaks under your skin and burrows right in your heart, but it's also incredibly cathartic to read. I don't remember the last time I felt so, so satisfied after reading fanfic. It's one of the best fics I can remember reading, and I absolutely recommend it.
