#tiny tangotek

It was a small rancher home with two bedrooms the size of closets and the attic they diy-ed to be a third. Tango had lived in it’s walls for years, going through a few families before Jimmy, Grian, and Joel moved in. He was lucky to still be able to call the house home.

Joel’s voice pitched from the porch, just as irritated as he usually was, “What took you so long?”

“The line went around the building, ain’t nothing I could do!” Jimmy shouted back as he gathered the fast food and drinks into his arms. Then he looked down at Tango and at his full arms and sighed, “Shoot. Tango, climb up, would you?”

Tango bit the inside of his cheek to keep from whining as he climbed out of the cupholder and onto Jimmy’s lowered sleeve. From there he hoisted himself up to Jimmy’s shoulder and held onto the collar. Jimmy kicked the car door closed and headed for the house.

Tango looked towards the house to see Joel stood on the porch, eyes narrowed in their direction. “Would you stop letting him do that?”—he jabbed a finger in Tango’s direction—“Someone’s going to see him one of these days.”

“You’re just jealous because Etho would rather fling himself to the floor than ride your shoulder,” Jimmy replied, holding out the drink carrier for him to take, “Now help out, would you?”

Joel reluctantly took the drinks, if only to make sure Jimmy didn’t drop them. Inside the house they dropped the food on the kitchen table and started unpacking the bags.

Grian joined them, looking through the food, “Did you get your borrower an entire twenty piece chicken nugget?”

“No! The chicken nuggets are for all the borrowers,” Jimmy snapped. He scooped Tango off his shoulder and set him on the table.

Tango stumbled on his feet and backed up a few steps to give the humans plenty of room to unpack and set up their meals. Jimmy grabbed a single chicken nugget, cut it into chunks with a plastic knife and set it on a napkin with the opened nether sauce in front of Tango.

“We got a couple now, thought I’d get them some too,” Jimmy continued, setting the rest of the nuggets aside. “Also we ran out of bread.”

“You spoil them,” Grian teased, elbowing Jimmy.

“You spoil Tango,” Joel added, dropping down into a chair, “I mean no wonder he doesn’t try and run like ours. Jimmy’s gone and cut his food for him too, like he’s the blooming prince of fairies.”

Tango bit his tongue, knowing that if he said anything at all it would mean trouble.

“You think if I do that for Effo he’ll actually stop making escape attempts?” Joel asked.

Grian snorted, “Definitely not. Etho’s practically feral. Never seen a borrower throw themselves off a dresser until him.”

“I’m going to sell him,” Joel declared, taking a giant bite into his burger. Tango froze, not daring to look up at Joel.

“You don’t mean that,” Jimmy said.

“I do!” he replied around a full mouth, “His cool factor has worn off. Someone would pay loads for an albino borrower, I bet. I would have.”

Tango felt his heart drop into his stomach, nausea hitting him like a train. Joel wouldn’t– He couldn’t. Etho was Tango's friend. Etho was one of the last things he had connecting him to being a borrower. The next time he spoke to Etho he was going to have to beg him to start listening to Joel, as much as it killed them both, he couldn’t lose another friend.

“Well, you got a big pool to pick from right now if you want to switch him out for another,” Grian said, shrugging and picking at his own fries.

(That is, if Tango even had a chance to talk to him again at all.)

The Bad Boys finished their meals, Tango barely picking at his nugget, appetite long lost.

Jimmy was the one to gather the trash and shove it down into the trash can. He grabbed up the remaining chicken nuggets (Joel and Grian had nabbed a few themselves) and held out a hand for Tango, “Coming bud?”

Tango hesitated– he really didn’t want to, but staying in the kitchen meant Grian and Joel could get grabby. They wouldn’t hurt him, sure, but they made it abundantly clear they thought Jimmy was too soft with him. He’s been poked and prodded plenty of times between the two of them, tossed in the air more then once, and Joel once tried to hide him from Jimmy by shoving him in his own sock drawer. He didn’t want a repeat of any of that if he could manage it.

He stepped onto Jimmy’s hand and was promptly slipped into his jean-jacket pocket. He sat, grabbing a bit of pocket lint and pulling it apart bit by bit, unable to keep his hands still for the short ride.

Tango swayed and bounced as Jimmy turned out of the house, and he recognized the familiar creaking of the screen door and it slamming itself shut. His feet crunched in the unkempt backyard and Tango’s tail flicked as he heard the shed door open. He hated this fucking shed.

Jimmy’s hand reached for him, fingers wrapping around his middle. His stomach swooped as he was lifted and set down once again. Jimmy was already tearing the chicken nuggets into pieces as he steadied himself, humming a song that had gotten stuck in his head from the ride home and barely acknowledging the big fat elephant that sat in front of him.

The tank of borrowers.

It was set on a shelf, the wire top clamped down several times over. A heat lamp hung over it and one of those plastic hamster hides was pushed into a corner. It was lined with a towel that hadn’t been washed since it was set and the dirt stains from many little shoes were prominent. There were only two borrowers in sight, but Tango knew for a fact there were six in the tank. The Bad Boys’ latest haul. They got lucky catching the group crossing between backyards (and the Bad Boys weren’t above trespassing to get their hands on more borrowers. No one would notice a few mouse sized people missing).

Tango had been set down on the shelf, right next to the tank. One of the borrowers was staring at him and he gave a small wave— the stare immediately dropped into a glare and the borrower turned swiftly away from his direction. Tango’s tail tucked itself between his legs.

“Alright fellas,” Jimmy chirped, undoing the clamps and pushing the tank open with a clang. He set the box of torn up chicken inside, along with two open sauce packets, “Got some food for ya’s.”

“How long do you plan to keep us here?”

Tango’s head snapped back to the borrower. He was practically a half inch taller then Tango was, muscular and what looked to be old chemical burn scars all up his arm and over his face. Tango had seen some of the things he was carrying before Grian had tore them off his person and he had some pretty advanced borrower tech. He hasn’t heard a name from him yet and a part of him hopes he won’t.

Jimmy barely blinked at the question, already fitting the top back on, “Oh, just until we can secure a buyer, not long for some of your friends but you… Well, hard to find someone that wants pre-damaged goods.”

Tango hated the shed. Jimmy was different in here. Jimmy was cruel in here.

(Tango knew it wasn’t just the shed, as much as he wanted to pretend it was. He knew that Jimmy would and did act just the same to any borrower no matter where he was. He knew this was as much the real Jimmy as the one that sang songs and taught him how to read more than a few simple sentences and let him play with loose circuits boards. He was just always this Jimmy in the shed, and the shed had become his association with the worst of him.)

“You plan to turn us into pets?” The borrower growled. His voice was gruff, with some kind of thick accent. He wondered where he could have gotten it, or if he was somehow foreign—Most likely he grew up in a house with a bean with an accent, but it wasn’t impossible for borrowers to travel to other countries. That was dangerous, sure, but the guy looks like he’s gone through his fair share of danger.

“Uh, yeah,” Jimmy replied, a smirk creeping over his lips, “People pay a lot for a pet that can talk. Isn’t that nice? Usually something as insignificant as you would be considered a proper pest.”

“You’re not making a dime from us. We’ll get out. You don’t scare me,” The borrower said, his tail thrashing behind him.

“You’re able to escape this? Wow! Color me impressed!” Jimmy punctuated his statement by snapping the clamps back in place. Then he casually grabbed a brick off the ground and dropped it right on top of the lid. “Man, when we come back and you’ll be gone–? Just, know, I’ll be making this face–” He clapped his hands to his face, jaw dropped exaggeratedly.

“Fuck you, man! Fuck you!” The borrower shouted, kicking at the glass of the tank.

Jimmy laughed, retaliating by knocking repeatedly on the tank until one of the other borrowers, still tucked away in the hide, poked their head out to beg for him to stop. He did, grinning brightly, “Enjoy dinner! Come on, Tango.”

Tango was quick to scramble onto the hand that was offered to him, his tail wrapping around Jimmy’s pinkie.

“Ay, Tango, was it?” The borrower called. He flinched away from the angry tone but glanced back, giving the borrower his attention. The borrower was sneering, lips curled, “Fuck you too, traitor! You let this bean turn you into a pet. You’re no better than a hamster–”

Jimmy beat his fist into the glass, “Shut it! Tango is my friend. You’re not going to speak to him that way.”

He pulled Tango to his chest, cupping him close and stomping right out and back to the house. The screen door once again slammed as he pushed his way inside, not bothering to stop in the living room where Grian and Joel were watching some trash show and throwing snacks at each other.

They were up the ladder into the low ceiling attic and he dropped himself onto his bed. Tango bounced on his chest, hands grabbing at Jimmy’s shirt to ground himself.

“Sorry about that,” Jimmy sighed, his hand pressing against his back, “That guy was way out of line.”

Tango sighed, “It’s… fine, Jimmy. He was just mad.”

“More like he’s got an attitude problem,” Jimmy grumbled, and his hand shifted so his thumb was rubbing up and down Tango’s back. The action calmed them both, each taking slow breaths, “You’re not my pet, Tango. You’re my Rancher buddy, always will be. Don’t let them get in your head. You’re better than that lot.”

“Right,” Tango replied, “Thanks, Rancher.”

“It’s no problem,” Jimmy chuckled. He pulled his phone out, opening up Youtube and scrolling through until he found a Minecraft video, “This look good, bud?”

Tango turned to look, laying back on Jimmy’s chest, “Yeah. I like this guy.”

Jimmy pressed play, and Tango tried to push his thoughts to the back of his mind.

Don’t think about the shed. Don’t think about the borrowers. Focus on the video. Focus on the sound of the non-copyright music and Jimmy’s breath. Focus on the rising and lowering chest under him. Focus on this moment, and try to forget about the rest of it.

"Tango! Tango! Tango!"

"Zed! Zed! Zed!" Tango repeated, chuckling as he let the shulker box closed, standing for his friend. "What can I do for you buddy?"

Zed had a grin that meant something very silly and very fun was about to happen, which was the usual expression Zed had. It was pretty fantastic having a friend like him. 

"You're going to love this one," he insisted, hands flapping at his side, "Wanna follow me?"

Tango glanced down at his shulker box and the project of redstone behind him. He really should get this finished… but a few hours working with Zed was worth it. "Yeah, hold on," he broke away the shulker box and set it back into an enderchest. Once everything was just tidy enough that it wouldn't be overwhelming to return to he took Zedaph's hand. 

Surprisingly Zed didn't lead him back to his base, instead leading him underground. The facility was made of concrete and quartz, purposefully looking sterile and like a mad scientist lab, though it only seemed to be a long hallway that led to a small room with a gray stained glass window that looked into a large room. Inside the large room was a giant thing with a big red X painted on the floor where it was pointed, and to the side was a small maze, made for something about the size of a frog or even an endermite, with a cake sat in the middle.

Tango couldn't help the giggles, "Well this isn't ominous at all!" 

"I know right! Very comforting. There's even cake!" Zed replied with a grin, flipping a lever and the bright overhead lights turned on, "Now, Tango, I think you know where I want you."

"I can take a guess. Do I- Do I get to know what you're going to be blasting me with?" 

"You'll know very soon. Right this way," Zed said in lieu of explaining, opening an iron door and standing aside to let Tango through first. 

Anybody but Zed Tango would be turning the other direction and running for the hills, but there was always something so fun with Zed's tasks or experiments. Even if he ended up dead he would die laughing and cheering. He stepped through the iron door, barely containing a yelp as it slammed shut behind him, and walked down the few stairs (there was a bed at the bottom and he set his spawn) and into the big room.

He waved to Zed through the window and stood a few steps to the left of the red X, "Here?" 

He could see Zed's exasperated sighing and giggled. "To the right, Tango! On the X! Come on, you got the easy part. For now, that is."

Tango raised an eyebrow as that but swiftly moved over on top of the X, "Okay. Okay. Here then?" 

"Perfect! Now I need you to stand very still. I'be only tested this on sheep so far, and if they wriggled too much they died," Zed explained as he pressed a button in front of him. 

His laughter got slightly more nervous, "Noted! Staying still." 

The machine started lighting up, flashing a spiral of blues and purple, and humming lowly as it powered up. He hadn’t the faintest idea what was going to occur, but the pure yellow beam of light completely washed over him. He looked down, observing his arms and legs, trying to see what it was doing to him; if it was giving him polka dots or turing his outfit into a bright pink leotard. On the surface it didn’t look like it was doing anything. He looked up at Zedaph through the observation window to see him grinning, so it must of been working. He looked back at the machine– and then he had to look up at the machine, cause it was significantly larger than it was a moment ago. Another glance at Zed, and then the rest of the room, proved just what he thought, everything else had gotten proportionally bigger as well. 

Or, well, he had gotten a lot smaller. 

He burst into excited laughter as the machine turned off, “Zed! What? How!?” 

“The power of science, my friend!” he answered through the intercom. He pointed towards the maze at the side of the room, “Please enter, would you? There should be a ladder on the back.” 

“You’ve turned me into a lab rat!” Tango accused as he made his way over to the maze. He climbed the ladder quickly. The walls of the maze that he could have easily seen over just moments ago towered over him, and he wished he had thought to memorize it’s layout (but to be fair there was no way he could have known he was going to be in the maze). 

“You have one minute to get through! After one minute I’ll be adding a endermite for every thirty seconds you take, understand?” 

“Endermites? Wait- Wait- What’s the point of this challenge? Why am I doing this?” 

“Your timer starts-” Zed grinned, completely ignoring Tango, “Now!” 

“Oh geez,” Tango sighed before racing through the maze. He had a somewhat good idea where to go, but it was a lot bigger and trickier than he thought it was going to be. 

The minute passed before he was even halfway through, a note block chiming above him. There was the sound something like a gate opening and the chitters of a endermite echoed through the walls. He ran faster. Then another thirty seconds, still no end to the maze, and another endermite entered. Then another. 

It was two minutes and seven seconds in when he ran into an endermite, the bug that usually only ticked one heart of damage grabbed a hold of his leg and suddenly he was half health. He barely got a chance to scream before the second grab

He sat upright in the bed, laughing as he did. He was back to his usual size, which was expected, Zed didn’t have admin abilities. He couldn’t change his code so casually, this was more akin to a potion or beacon effect. He quickly made his way back into the middle of the room. 

“That was amazing!” He shouted up at Zed before yelping as an endermite bit him on the ankle. He crushed it under his foot on impulse. (He did not think about how it was possible that was the endermite that killed him and how easy it was to smash something so small.)

“Glad you enjoyed! Ready for round two?” Zed asked, hand already on the lever.