#tiny angst

The words were immediately regretted, but not entirely, as the man meant them. His hands, firm on her shoulders, now pushed her to move backward a bit, when they had maintained her in place rather one second ago.

A conflicted face was twisting Lukan’s features, his cheeks an rare red-ish hue, and amber eyes adamantly avoiding hers.

What in hell came into him ? Why did he-

Why did he kiss her ?

Just the thought managed to make his blush darker, and he released her to bring both hands to his face, groaning into them. It had been a ‘spur of the moment’ kind of thing - But Lukan also knew himself enough to recognize it wasn’t how he worked.

The werewolf had that much self-awareness, it was useless to lie to himself.

But he genuinely didn’t expect it to happen.

Nunnally was still his patient, for Gaïa’s sake.

Even though lines were blurred all over their relationship, the friendship between them impossible to deny, he could have sworn there was nothing more.

Except apparently, he didn’t know himself as well as he thought. 

Lukan let one hand slide from his face, looking at her one eyed. He probably looked dumb, but couldn’t care less at the moment.

“This is probably the most stupid thing I ever did.”

He mumbled, at loss about what to do. It was wrong for many reasons, and no matter what were Nunnally’s thoughts about it - and he was smart enough to have a good idea what she was thinking about it - this couldn’t go further.

It was already too far.

“...I don’t want to abandon you. But I am clearly not fit to be your therapist anymore.” That was the right thing to do. He probably should cut ties with her as well, but…

But.

He didn’t want to.

It should have been simple, but it wasn’t.

Pairing: Wanda Maximoff x Reader

Summary: Wanda is renewing her feelings of past events.

Warning: Insecurities | grieving | westview mentions | Wanda is a sad girl |

A/N: The title is inspired by “First Love/Late Spring” by Mitski.

―☆―

Wanda let out a shaky breath, turning on her side. Her body shuttered as she woke up from anything nightmare, a memory.

A memory of westview.

Where she hurt so many people.

Where she lost her family.

It’s been years since westview, since the horrific incident took place.

It was suppose to be a town where she and vision grew old together. Where they’d have a happy life as a couple, as parents, maybe even grandparents.

But of course that didn’t happen. It was taken away from her.

For once she wished she could have something for herself. She wished she could just be happy.

She tried to push those feelings down, because she’s moved on. She has you.

So why couldn’t she let go?

Why couldn’t she just forget about it. Actually move on and be happy with what she has.

She’d never understand.

―☆―

You sighed as you entered you & wanda’s home. You both moved in together a couple months back. Wanda has been distant recently, which you didn’t judge her for. Everyone needed space sometimes, especially her. After all she’s went through, she needed her times of thinking.

When you heard complete silence, you weren’t exactly worried. You were just a little uneasy, so you put your stuff down and went to the bedroom. As you watched through the corridor, you heard little sniffles and muffled sobs. Eyebrows immediately furrowing, you put a pep in your step.

Once you reached the door that was cracked open, you peeked inside. Your face forming a sympathetic look. You lightly knocked on the door, so she was aware of your presence.

Her body froze, her breathing making an attempt to slow down. You entered the room, slowly making your way to her.

The bed creaked when you sat on it. You just sat there, looking at her with uncertainty. A few minutes passed before she turned to you. Her eyes were puffy and red, along with her face. Tears tracks are dried on her face.

It was a heartbreaking sight, seeing her so vulnerable. Even after all the times you’ve seen her emotions exposed, it always made your heart break. Soon her voice broke the silence, “I miss them.” It was a clear statement.

Her boys, oh, how precious they sounded. From all the stories she told of them, they must’ve been amazing kids.

She didn’t talk of vision much, unless you asked. You never felt jealous when she spoke of him. He was her first love, even if he was a synthezoid. He made her feel loved and important, he was and still is a major part of her life.

“All I wanted was him, all I wanted was a family,” she said. You didn’t say anything, wanting her to continue. “That’s all I wanted, but I was hurting people in the process.”

Shes talked about westview before, about how the accident changed a lot in her life. About how she hurt people, how she was hated by them. She has hurt people, but you still loved her.

It was complicated for Wanda, she wondered how you could love her. After all the pain she caused.

“Yes you’ve hurt people, but you tried to fix the situation. You’ve made mistakes, but who hasn’t? And besides, in the end you let them go, because you knew it was wrong.”

That’s what you said the last time you both had this conversation. It gave her some reassurance, but she wasn’t so sure now.

“Wanda, I know I can’t convince you to love yourself. But I want you to know that I love you. No matter how many mistakes you’ve made, I will always be by your side. You’re my whole world, and I hope you know that.”

Wanda was speechless, her eyes burning with tears. Her green eyes stared at you with so many mixed emotions. Much of the despair disappeared from her body, but some remained.

She’s hurt so many people around her, she’s afraid she’ll hurt you. Like she hurt vision, how she hurt the people in Lagos and in westview.

She was dangerous, just like Tony said.

But she loved you so much, how could she hurt you? She’d never hurt you on purpose and she’d never want to on accident. She’d do absolutely anything for you.

She was silent for a while as your words sunk in. She eventually fell forward and buried herself into your stomach. You smiled slightly, bringing your lips down to her forehead, giving her multiple kisses. This action wasn’t much, but to her it was everything.

Vision might’ve been her first love.

Bheem stared blankly at the sheet of paper in front of him. He didn't know why but Jenny (and surprisingly Malli, when did she learn?) had head on confronted him about properly learning to write English (Anna was teaching him that already!) And now they had given him an assignment to write a letter!

But to who should he write? What should it be about? Should it be something he should send to that person later on? Or was it just for fun? He had so many questions, none of which were answered by his two teachers.

Unbeknownst to him though, Malli and Jenny thought that he would write a love letter confessing his love for Ram, or at least, if not acknowledge the love, mention something about their bond...

Contrary to their belief though, all Bheem could flow out was guilt laced words. His guilt about the secrets. His guilt about the harsh words. His guilt about hurting Ram. His guilt of how he was responsible for the torture Ram had to endure. Pages purely reeking of guilt, intended to be hidden away from the eye of the world, written in his broken English. Especially not for the eyes of Ram, who he knew wouldn't agree with his view. Who would start blaming himself for everything that happened. For all he knew, his letter was going to become one with the dust, never reaching the eyes of anyone.

--------

Ram knew that he wasn't supposed to be there. He also knew that he had been actively avoiding Bheem for quite a while, which also made the latter a lot mad at him and the only reason he was even here was because of Malli and Jenny's insistence that he should personally deliver the books he'd found during his investigations.

He glanced down at the books written in the native language and sighed. In all honesty, they were the most interesting puzzles he's ever decoded in a while and he'll be sad to part with it. Maybe he can ask Bheem for some more because, in all honesty, the books were rich with information that he is left wanting for more.

He walked over to Bheem's desk and gently placed the books near the sheet of parchment sitting beside an ink bottle and turned to leave when his name caught his eye.

He turned back around and took the parchment in his hand, a moment of surprise coursing through him as he read through the broken English of the letter that it was actually Bheem who had written it.

The more he read through, the more the elation of the fact that his Bheem had learnt to write English starter to decrease and in its space, something heavy started to settle in.

He quickly wiped the corner of his eye and tried to take in a controlled breath but all that seemed to do was to hitch his breath even more as he carefully placed the letter back in its place. He just couldn't believe what he'd read.

His hands were itching to take the feather that was sticking out of the pot and cross out, hell, even destroy the letter if he could but felt shamed as soon as he thought about it because he did the same thing in his journals. He could remember the pages and pages of writing he'd done right after Bheem had rescued him, when he'd arrested Bheem, all those instances of all the things he'd done to all his fellow countrymen just to fulfil the promise of a dead man, even if he was his father.

He could understand the guilt, the overwhelming deep pit in his gut that never seemed to stop growing, the persistent nightmares that he deserved... The burning self hate that consumed the soul... He could understand everything.

Except for the fact that it was Bheem who was feeling all this. Especially the fact that all this was felt for him. Because Bheem had beaten him up. Because he didn't come to save him before. Because he'd abandoned Ram.

All while Ram had accepted it as his penance for betraying his Jaan. It was his punishment for all those years of hurt he'd caused to his own people. It was the consequence of not keeping his word to his Abba. He was a sinner and he deserved that.

Sparing one last glance at the letter, he started walking away. Maybe it was time he actually talked to Bheem about all this. Without letting him know that he'd read the letter. Maybe.

-------------------------

... Bhaiya, I know that you won't ever read this letter but I really hope that you would forgive your thambudu for all the pain and sorrow and betrayal he has caused you in this very short time of meeting.

There are days where I wish that I was dead... Days which are spent just thinking about the nice times we had before the snake had bit you... There are small instances when I dream of you, and... I don't think you'll like to know what I dream of, Anna.

And now... You are ignoring me, like I rightly deserve and maybe, maybe this distance will keep you away from harm's way, even if it takes you away from me. It is the price for the sinner I am.

.

.

.

.

Love you Anna,

Bheem.

------------------------------

Part 2 | Part 3 | AO3

throwing the switch at him is a big no-no and slamming the door on his face? he’s gonna be beyond confused like— he’s thinking ‘who the fuck she think she is to be slamming doors at MY house’

he felt like he’s been disrespected left and right. spankings won’t do anything to you because you know and he knows that you will be back on your bullshit. so what does he do? ignore you for a short period of time. you thought shit was sweet when he didn’t spank you or give you any lectures. in your mind, you’ve won, right?

well no, he’s been quiet for while now and after dinner, he does give you the usual bedtime routine but you’ve notice something off with your routine. ray would always give you a bubble bath. but the tub is filled with water and not your usual bubble lavender scent. your favorite bath toy isn’t on the tub. it’s just plain yellow ducks floating around. the bath time was eerily quiet and the only time he spoke when he washing your hair down. you knew you fucked up when he lets you out of the bathtub and he gives you a towel to dry off yourself. you frowned because ray would always wipe off the water excess. he would always lotion down your body for you but tonight he didn’t do that.

“go to your room and dress up,” you were so confused. “by myself, daddy?” you asked. ray did not want to repeat himself. “you’re a big girl, i’m sure you can go on one night without me dressing you up for the night.” he sound very harsh and you flinched how cold he sound but you listened to him. you don’t want to get him more upset than he already is.

you put on your night gown and wrap your hair up to secure your style. you waited on your bed for daddy but he never came to tuck you in. “D-Daddy?” you called out for him. He didn’t respond. you went out of your room to see he’s in the living room watching football. you nervously played with your fingers. you were terrified how quiet your daddy is and it isn’t like him. “D-Daddy?” you called out again.

“Hm?” his eyes stayed glued to the screen and you didn’t like that feeling. “aren’t you going to tuck me in and give me a bedtime story, daddy?” you weren’t sure why your daddy treating you so cold. “you’re a big girl, you can go to bed without me tucking you in and giving you a night story.” you squinted your eyes in confusion, “but you’ve always give me on-“

“Obviously, not now (Y/N)? do you honestly think that behavior you did earlier today would pass? do you?” he asked you a hard question and you ended up stuttering which made him scoffed.

Prompt: Snowed in

Fandom: Httyd

“Of course we’re snowed in, I can’t even be surprised any longer” Hiccup mutters, pushing against the door with all his might. He wishes it would work, but of course it doesn’t.

He steps back, frowning at the door.

If the dragons we’re still around there would be an easy solution to this - make the dragons outside melt the snow or at least scoop it away. But the dragons aren’t here and Hiccup is at a loss as to what to do. 

This of course happened before they befriended the dragons too, but the hatch-in-the-roof solution before was cast away when they rebuilt the village to make it easier for the dragons. And now that they’ve actually moved the entire village, they didn’t exactly think that they would be snowed in again.

So Hiccup has no idea what to do. 

Muttering and grumbling he goes to sit down in front of the fire, doing his best to stay warm. The house feels empty, deserted and he sinks lower into the chair.

Right now, the quiet is overwhelming.

And that’s when he remembers - Astrid is outside! She went on a short trip a few days ago and should be back by the latest tomorrow.

He breathes a sigh of relief and relaxes.

Astrid’ll fix this, he knows she will.

That’s just what she does. 

So Hiccup decides to take this rare chance and do nothing.

Being chief there’s always something that has to be done - someone’s sheep went missing, a grumble about whatever or just general complaints about wanting to go back to Berk.

But now he can relax, and be lazy - he has no expectations to uphold.

The first thing on his bucket list is to work on his book about dragons.

He started on it when he first met Toothless and continued to fill it in when he learned new things about the different species. It’s all just scribbles however, and he never got the time to write it out properly with all the responsibilities just lining up.

So eagerly he digs out his old notebooks and sits down by his desk, a stack of new papers in front of him.

He immerses himself in the work, forgetting all about the world outside the door. The only time he looks up it’s because the candle burned out, and he makes a double-take at how dark it’s suddenly become. 

“Oops” he mutters and reluctantly puts the stuff away.

He’ll need all the sleep he could get if he were to have any energy to deal with pissed off vikings tomorrow.

“-up! Hiccup! Hiccup!” 

“Huh? What?” Hiccup sits straight in the bed and rubs his eyes. Did he imagine his name being shouted or...?

“Hiccup! Are you in there? By Odin’s ghost, answer me!”

“Astrid?” he mumbles, standing up.

“HICCUP HADDOCK THE THIRD, ANSWER OR SO HELP ME I AM GOING TO SEND YOU TO HEL ONCE I GET IN THERE!” 

“Yup, definitely Astrid” Hiccup chuckles and then stops.

Astrid’s here! He’s going to get out!

“Astrid! I’m here!” he shouts as he runs to the door. “I’m here!”

“Hiccup?”

“Yes, I’m right here!” 

“Oh thank Odin, are you okay?” Astrid shouts through the door, all the while continuing to shovel show.

“Yeah, I’m fine! We only got snowed in yesterday” Hiccup answers, feeling the strain on his voice from how loud he has to shout.

“Hold on a bit longer, I’m almost through!” Astrid shouts, ignoring how sweaty she is. She’s just going to look at this as a workout. Nothing more, nothing less.

To save their voices they stay quiet, the only sound being the shoveling of snow.

All of a sudden the door starts creaking as it’s pulled outwards, and Hiccup quickly pushes as well. 

It’s flinged open so suddenly that Hiccup loses his balance and tumbles right into a pile of snow.

“Okay, that’s cold, that is definitely cold!” he exclaims and quickly gets up, shivering as he pushes the snow off of him.

He’s immediately pushed back into the same pile when Astrid throws herself at him and he topples over. He doesn’t complain though, after a moment of surprise he just hugs back as they lay there for a while.

“I’m fine - I had enough wood to get by” he whispers, rubbing circles on Astrid’s back.

“But it could have gone so much worse” Astrid mutters into his chest and he hums.

‘It could’ve, but it didn’t because you saved me - just like I knew you would” Hiccup smiles as Astrid looks up at him. “And now we’ll get the rest of the village out together, right?”

“Right” Astrid nods in confirmation and she releases the hug. She gets up and pulls Hiccup with her.

“Let’s just get the hatch in the roof back, okay?”