Top Posts Tagged with #tinkerlu

Popular Recent

so jean like, tries to straighten his clothes out as best he can but he can’t make them like, fully straight 'cause they’re covered in his gay

tinkerlu

#this made cry #jearmin #tinkerlu #quote

•18+ Adults Only

Watch Anya Live on Cam

Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.

✓ Live Streaming✓ Interactive Chat✓ Private Shows✓ HD Quality✓ Free Actions

Free to watch • No registration required • HD streaming

jearmin roadtrip au

this is just a throwback of tinkerlu. she deactivated her tumblr wherein her tumblr is full of treasures especially jearmin like gosh i really miss her.

anyway here’s her fic:

ok so armin’s senior year of high school has just ended and holy fuck is that exciting. he’s so exCITED WOAH. he’s so excited. so. so like the plan is that hanji and levi are gonna be coming to pick armin up in about a week so he’s super pumped because idk he’s like. DONE WITH HIGH SCHOOL? WOAH. and he gets to hang out with his dorky but cool cousin and her scary fiancé and his BEST BRO EREN RIGHT? WRONG.

So eren is a really loyal dude right like. he’d do anything for armin ok. and it’s not his fault that like. his mom didn’t tell him she had signed him and mikasa up for some cooking classes man idk. (ANNIE WOULD SOMEHOW ALSO BE INVOLVED SO THEN EREN COULD HAVE A SUMMER ROMANCE TOO OK) carla is somehow involved in this whole “eren can’t come with u and hanji on ur trip this year” thing and armin is like. oh. fuck. so he’s like. well shit. cause he needs a new friend to bring and armin has lots of friends but. not really. ones that he’d necessarily want to spend like. 2 weeks with. in a car. with his nutty cousin yo. so him and eren have a sleep over every night that week to make up for the fact that they won’t be spending 2 weeks of a roadtrip together and armin’s like “EREN WHO THE FUCKLE DO I BRING?” and eren’s like. “shit idk reiner?” and armin’s like “reiner’s at his lakehouse with bert” and eren does the eyebrow thing and armin does the eyebrow thing back cause everyone knows reiner and bert are doing the do. so then eren’s like “YO I GOT IT. CONNIE” and armin’s like. HOLY SHIT YEAH THAT COULD WORK CONNIE’S RAD. BUT HEY. GUESS WHAT. TURNS OUT. CONNIE IS ON HIS UNCLE’S RANCH IN THE COUNTRY. LIKE. CONNIE WHAT THE FUCK. and connie’s like “sorry y’all” and armin’s like. fUCK EVERYTHING. and eren’s like. shit son at this rate you’re gonna be alone with levi and hanji that’s gonna suck. armin does NOT. i repeat. does NOT want to go alone at all because levi and hanji alone in the car together are bad enough cause they bicker like they’re already married and then they make out and argue and hanji’s laugh is cute but can get obnoxious and levi is so SCARY AND ARMIN LOVES LOVES LOVES THEM TO BITS. I MEAN THEY’RE FAMILY BUT. FAMILY CAN GET. VERY ANNOYING. but he also doesn’t NOT want to go on the road trip because??? ROAD TRIP. SEEINGS THINGS. SEEING. THE. WORLD. EXCUSE ME??? ARMIN ISn’T GONNA GIVE THAT SHIT UP EVER. NEVER EVER. and then suddenly armin feels so fucking dumb and he’s like. marco. and eren like snaps his fingers and he’s like POLO! and armin’s like. don’t do that. so armin calls marco and marco’s like. “sorry bud but my sister just had her first baby so next week is family time, i’m gonna go see the new babe, sorry sorry” and armin’s like “it’s ok freckled jesus, i know babies are important” and then marco’s like “one sec” and armin can hear jean in the background. and suddenly everything clicks together in his mind and he feels so LAME. BECAUSE JEAN. so armin can hear like marco say “jean do u want mac n cheese” and jean is like “helll YEAH” and armin’s like “MARCO. PUT. JEAN ON THE PHONE.” and marco’s like. lol ok. so then it’s like: "y-yo" "JEAN!" armin yells into the reciever causing jean to cringe cause WOAH NOW BOY UR VOICE IS LOUD "jeez, didn’t anyone ever tell u to use your inside voice? god my ears are ringing." and like armin ignores jean’s obvious annoyance. (annoyance that helped get them over the awkward greetings hell yea) "sorry i just. i can’t believe i didn’t think of this sooner!" "think of what?" jean and armin are not NOT friends but that’s not to go and say they’re GOOD friends either. at least. well. it’s more of a. they get along well and there’s a slice of sexual tension between the two that neither really understood so they both always just dismissed it as something weird "would you like to join me on a road trip with my cousin and her fiance?" armin can hear marco laughing (laughing at how jean’s mouth drops because what) "w-what?? is this some. dumb joke or?" "no jean it’s-" and then jean hears like. struggling and then he hears eren’s voice saying something like "NO. I’D RATHER U GO ALONE THAN WITH JEAN" and armin’s saying something like "EREN YOU DON’T EVEN DISLIKE JEAN AS MUCH AS YOU THINK YOU DO" and jean is like. "Armin. yes. whatever the thing you asked? yes." and he realizes too late that he let his competitive impulses take over and like. now he’s just agreed to go on a road trip with a (very very cute holy fuck armin is so cute and nice u don’t understand) acquaintance right after he’s finally just graduated from high school. but jean is not a man to go back on his word and he did already agree so. he decides he’s not going to back out. no matter what. so then armin like. legit fuckin…sQUEALS and he’s like “THANK U THANK U THANK U THANK U THANK U OH MY GOD JEAN WE’RE GONNA HAVE A LOT OF FUN I PROMISE I PROMISE OMFGMFGOMFGOM THANK THANK” and he like hangs up (he doesn’t even tell jean the details omf) and then marco is smiling at jean like, marco has a fricken apron on that says something really lame cause marco’s the type to wear a lame apron (and still look so kawaii) and he like and he’s like "looks like ur summer isn’t gonna be as boring as you thought huh?" cause jean really didn’t have any summer plans and jean’s like "omf ur so lame pls stop" and then him and marco eat mac n cheese and watch something like icarly because why the fuck not ————————————————————————————————- ok boom, fast forward to the day before the trip, so armin texts jean a list of the things he’ll probs want to bring and jean is like woah hello but he’s like “nah it’s cool” so jean is actually kind of excited about this trip because it’s either this or being bored so?? but anyways so hanji and levi arrive that night and they’re in armin’s house hanging out and hanji’s like “yo wheres eren?” cause usually he also stays there over night the day before they leave cause they leave at like 5 am to beat traffic idk levi’s weird about timing and driving and whatever. and armin’s like "oh no eren can’t actually come" and hanji like. does a double take and even levi is like. woah there cause he knows HE wouldn’t want to be a third wheel to his and hanji’s lovefest. and armin smiles and is like "don’t worry yo i got another boy lined up" and hanji is just. so smart she leans in and raises a brow and she’s like "ooh is he cute?" and armin blushes because "HANJI WHAT" because he never thought of jean that way? (liar) sure he might have stared a bit too long when in gym jean would take off his shirt after running for a long time or during the swimming unit he MAY or MAY not have stared at jean’s abs for longer than would classify it as a glance but. BUT HEY NOW. so hanji like. ruffles armin’s hair and she’s like “omf he IS cute isn’t he lemme see a picture!!!” and armin’s lIKE HANJI. but she gives him a noogie until he shows her pictures and jean has REALLY lame facebook pictures so armin’s blushing and all like “i swear he looks better in person ok” and hanji is like. laugh snorting because oh my god his selfies. but then there’s a picture of him and marco at the beach and she’s like “oh hey, he actually is hot, hello handsome” (then she does like a cat call or something) and levi’s like grinding his teeth because he gets jealous so easily but him and hanji already had a long talk about it (after he tried to punch a dude for trying to buy hanji a drink omg and hanji was like LEVI U LITTLE IDIOT but they still had wild sex that night cause they’re weird about stuff BUT THEN THE NEXT MORNING THEY HAD THE TALK U KNOW) and she’s like if u try and be a dick again like that i’ll punch ur dick and not in a sexual way so he’s like. oh shit no thanks. so anyways then. armin can’t even sleep that night because now he’s. having second thoughts because hanji reminded him that he kind. of. likes jean? not really! but. like he could. see himself kissing him. and liking it. a lot. like. ARMIN REALLY DOESN”T THINK ABOUT BOYS THAT MUCH BUT (LIAR) he came out of the closet a while back like. he didn’t really have doubts about his sexuality ok like. he remembers that he told eren and eren was like “what’s gay” (and armin had to explain it to eren i guess cause eren never pays attention to things idk he’s probaby always thinking about hot wheels cause that’s what boys think about) and mikasa was like “cool” so everyone was cool with it like. hell yea so armin’s real chill about it all. but he doesn’t usually like…fantasizing about his friends/classmates but he may or may not have had a few fantasies that starred one horsefaced fellow. so he’s blushing and like. OH FUCK HOW COULD I. FORGET. OH SHIT THIS WAS A TERRIBLE IDEA. CURSE U CONNIE FOR NOT BEING ABLE TO GO GOD CONNIE THIS IS ALL UR FAULT A PLAUGE ON UR FAMILY CONNIE A PLAGUE MEANWHILE jean is cuddling up to go to sleep and he’s like. thinking about spending 2 weeks with armin and he doesn’t hate the idea at all. he starts thinking about all his conversations with armin and he’s like. i actually really like this kid, he’s smart and sweet and kinda like marco but i don’t see him as a brother??? so anyways, jean then thinks about armin’s lips and he’s like. he also has nice lips. and then he’s like WOAH THERE COWBOY HOLD UR HORSES HAHA LOL THAT’S ARMIN WE’RE TALKING ABOUT HE’S A BOY YEAH LIKE WOAH CALM DOWN THERE JEAN JR. and jean’s like. woah there calm down. and so he has trouble sleeping too so he goes and sleeps in his ma’s bedroom (yeah he’s like 18 so fricken what) and he cuddles with her and she’s like “jean ur 18 u dumb shit get outta my bed” but then she strokes his hair and kisses his forehead cause she honest to god loves the kid even if he’s a dumb butt sometimes SO ANYWAYS. BOOM BAM SUN IS UP THE DAY HAS BEGUN so it’s the morning now. and armin is blushing and tired and hanji is loud and hairy and levi is like. everyone be quiet i’m trying to loudly pack up the van while mumbling to myself. and jean’s mom drops him off and she’s like “be a good kid ok” and jean’s like “yo i’ll try ma” and she smacks the back of his head and stares at him and he’s like “OMF OK CALM DOWN” and she drives away and then jean is kind of awkwardly standing by levi’s van and levi just. YANKS jean’s stuff outta his arms and is grumbling to himself and he packs it in the car. and hanji runs over and is like. “WOAH JEAN UR TALLER IN PERSON HUH?” and jean’s like “do i know you?” and hanji is like “no but armin showed me ur facebook pics last night” and armin LIKE. BODY SLAMS INTO HANJI AND HE’SLIKE “NO I DIDN’T HANJI STOP WHAT THE HECK HANJI LOL VER FUNNY” and jean can’t help but laugh because. maybe this won’t be as awkward as he thought and armin is so extra cute today oh. what is this. so they all finally get in the car and hanji is sitting with levi in the front and armin and jean are sitting in the roomy back and levi is like. “so jean, since you’re new to all this, i’m going to tell you the rules” and hanji like. turns around and in her best levi impression she’s like “there are no rules” and armin laughs cause hanji has the best levi impression like omf hanji. and levi groans and is like "YES THERE ARE RULES." and hanji is like. "omf ur such a baby" so then levi lists this HUGE jumble of rules like "no touching the car, no dirt in the car, no anything in the car, ur now allowed in the car" and jean is just so fuckin confused and hanji is like, just zoning out and then jean feels a hand on his arm and he looks at armin and armin’s like "just ignore him, he always does this, i think he’s just nervous about the trip so it helps him to pretend he has control over things he kind of really doesn’t." and jean nods because hey he can understand that kind of thing. so then they let levi talk himself out and then the car ride is pretty silent actually until they make their first stop to rest for the night it’s this nice little place and armin and jean share a room and levi and hanji share a room and like. jean and armin are about to go into their room and they see hanji grab levi’s ass as they’re closing the door to their own room and jean blushes so hard and armin just sighs because this is so normal for him. so he gets the door open and they awkwardly stand in their room and thank god there are 2 separate beds. so they get ready for bed and jean tries not to think about how kawaii armin looks in his baggy pjs and the fact that “ARMIN U. WEAR. GLASSES?” and armin’s like “usually i wear contacts” and jean’s like WOWOWOWOWOOW cause jean sure does like glasses. anyways. they go to sleep and it’s a rather uneventful night for them both (not for levi and hanji though ;) ;) ;) ) so then they set out on the road again but this day is much less awkward so hanji starts talking about the scenery and then levi makes a poop joke, like a real ass joke about shitting, and usually the car is silent after he makes them but JEAN. JEAN. FUCKING. LAUGHS. LIKE. SNORTS LIKE. AND. LEVI GASPS AND IS LIKE “FINALLY SOMEONE WHO. KNOWS REAL COMEDY UP IN HERE” and armin and hanji groan and jean is like “OMFG POOP” and then they laugh about bad jokes like. jean fuckin loses it and armin wants to be annoyed but jean’s laugh is actually really cute. so anyways then they’re just driving and it all looks so pretty and jean starts asking dumb questions like. “would u rather be a short man who looks like a man, or a tall guy who still looks like a kid” and THEN HE REALIZES HE. SHOULDn’T HAVE SAID THAT CAUSE. LEVI AND. THEN. HANJI STARTS. LOSING IT. SHE LAUGHS SO HARD SHE’S LIKE “I”M GONNA PEE MY PANTS OH MY GOD” and levi is like “fuck u jean” and jean’s lke NO I SWEAR. I SWEAR I DIDN’T MEAN U. and he just keeps digging a deeper hole for himself and he’s like motherfuck me and my big mouth and armin is laughing too though and that’s cute. and then they all settle down and jean’s like omf and then they get some fries and they sing or something idk. then they sleep in the car that night. ————— IDK SO. LOTS OF THINGS HAPPEN. YOU KNOW LOTS CAN HAPPEN IN THE DAYS THAT HAVE APPARENTLY HAPPENED ALREADY. but like. the next few days are really rad. jean already feels so comfortable with hanji and armin and levi and him and levi are actually like. bonding. and hanji and armin are talking and they’re watching levi show jean some huge-ass trees and hanji leans over to armin and is like "oh my gosh they’re actually getting along" and she’s smiling and armin’s like "who knew what laughing at levi’s poop joke could do for ur relationship with him" and then hanji tickles armin and his loud ass squeaks get levi and jean’s attention and then jean stares too long and levi punches his shoulder and he’s like "hey jean, you got a boner for armin?" and jean splutters and is like "WHAT NO?" and levi is like "lol yeah right, you sound like me when i kept sayin i didn’t like hanji." and then levi leans against a tree and is just watching hanji kiss armin’s forehead and tickle him and jean is standing there awkwardly and levi’s like "my future wife" and jean like. rubs the back of his head and he’s like "hah cool." and levi’s like "yo jsyk ur coming to the wedding. i’ve already decided." and he gives jean this. super serious look and jean like. is like. WOAH??? and he smiles a dumb jean smile and is like "hell yea bro" and then levi starts walking towards the other two and jean follows and is like i think he likes me woah that’s awesome (yo cause everyone has heard stories about levi from armin and eren and the dude does not sound easy to get along with but hey. jean’s special) so then that night they’re all sitting on the end of levi’s van looking at the stars and hanji and armin keep talking about the constellations and then jean and levi keep inturrupting with like “oh u know what that one is? my ASS” and they’re such CHILDREN and then hanji smacks levi and he pulls her closer into his arms and it’s cute and then armin looks at jean and he’s like "hey jean? thanks for coming i’m really glad you’re here honestly." and jean’s like. "y-yeah…" and it’s like the right mood for a kiss and it’s very emotional but they don’t kiss (not yet) and then. suddenly. it’s saturday. and it’s almost been a whole week and they can’t believe it and it’s crazy. and they’re all. so. like. it’s like. they are all close lik.e after you have a sleepover with someone and you’re suddenly like best friends? that’s what it’s like for jean and them like. they’re like. like JEAN IS ANNOYING AND WHATEVER BUT WHEN. HE’S KIND OF. put into an environment like this he chills out and hanji and levi love him ok they’re like “omf i hope him and armin kiss” and they’re like, shipping them so hard and ANYWAS SO. SO OK. so then they make another stop for the night. they don’t stop at a hotel/bed and breakfast EVERY night, just when it’s possible. but this night it’s possible but. it’s like. some place meant for honeymooning couples. so levi and hanji are like yes pls but armin and jean are like ????? Ohouegh so anyways. levi checks them all in and the person at the front desk looks at armin and winks and armin’s like NONONONO U DON’T UNDERSTAND AND jean like. stumbles and he’s like “WE’RE NOT TOGETHER” really loud and the lady just laughs and she’s like “yeah right” and they’re so blushy and like. this is SO DUMB. LIKE. the place itself isn’t even like. that romantic it’s just like a small place idk. it has a hot tub outside. so anyways. armin and jean go into their room and it’s really embarrassing cause it’s obviously meant for a recently married couple cause like. the bed is the cheesy heart shaped shit and it all looks really crappy but it’s just. meant to be romantic or something like everything’s red and there’s a pack of condom’s on the bed or something like. it’s fuckin weird. and armin starts blushing and jean’s like WHAT THE HECK IS THIS. and they’re both so AWKWARD and jean’s like “i guess i’ll take a shower” and armin’s like “OH OK I’m GONNA CHECK OUT THE HOT TUB” cause he just??? but then jean is like "OH YEAH ME TOO ACTUALLY" cause jean loves hot tubs man. and armin’s like fuck no. but he can’t say he doesn’t wanna go check it out now cause then jean would know somethings up but there isn’t anything up!!!!??? AND SO THEY. AWKWARDLY CHANGE INTO THEIR SWIM SUITS AND WALK DOWN TO THE HOT TUB AND. armin just. GETS IN THE HOT TUB AS FAST AS POSSIBLE AND WOAH THAT’S REALLLY HOT. and he’s suddenly really excited about the temperature cause it feels so FUCKING. GOOD ON HIS SORE MUSCLES so he looks at jean smiling to tell him that but jean’s like. jean wore his shirt on the walk down to the hot tub right so he’s taking it off and armin’s like oh no abs oh no pecs oh no body oh no look oh no oh no oh no. and he looks down and jean gets in and is like. WOAH THAT’S SO HOT OHOAHOAHHeouYESSS. and armin’s like. blushing but he gets over it and they relax finally and have a little splash fight and it’s kind of dark outside but it’s so nice and there’s a small breeze and the water is so warm and they’re both relaxing and armin notices that there are like. smell good candles and he uses the lighter to have those and it’s like. so relaxing and they’re just. so. it’s so chill. and then. and then things get deep. cause you know hot tubs are where you talk about all that deep shit. that’s where like. they’re both just a little overheated so they’re not ENTIRELY in their full focused mind and they’re tired enough already to just. spill about everything in their life and they DO. so jean talks about his embarrassing childhood moments and his mom being really weird and annoying and how she caught him masturbating once and then armin asks him what he was masturbating to because he’s armin and then jean is like “OH MY GOD WHAT KIND OF QUESTION IS THAT TO ASK” and armin’s like “SORRY I WAS JUST CURIOUS OMF” and jean splashes him and moves closer to armin and like. leans in to whisper and he’s like “i was jerkin it to…weiners” and aRMIN. LAUGHS SO HARD. CAUSE JEAN WHAT HTE FUCK AND JEAN’S LAUGHING SO HARD AND He’S LIKE OMFG DUDE UR FACE AND ARMIn’S LIKE HAHAhahaaaaa OMFGgg and jean’s like. “nah nah don’t worry like, i was jerking it to like some hot chick i don’t remember” and armin’s like "lol why would i worry?" and jean’s like "um. like…idk? i’m not gay is what i mean." and armin’s like "Oh oh. oh. yeah yes." and jean’s like. does this awkward laugh and just. MAKES THIS WORSE AND He’S LIKE "cause. cause only gay dudes. uh. jerk it to dicks right hahaha" and armin’s like "yeah man i ONLY dingle my dangle to dicks like, that’s the ONLY thing, there is NOTHING else." and jean’s like. "haha. WHAT? ur gay?" and armin’s like "yeah man" and jean’s like OH. OH OH oH oH OH. and then it’s awkward for a second like. armin’s like. oh wait jean isn’t a dick about this stuff is he? and armin has a small internal freakout cause this could mess up the rest of the entire TRIP???? AND jEAN is like "no i’m. that’s good." and armin’ slike. THAT’S GOOD? WHAT DOES THAT MEAN. GOOD FOR WHAT DOES JEAN LIKE ME??? WAIT ARMIN DOn"T THINK THAT HE LITEARLLY JUST SAID HE’S NOT GAY ARMIND DON’T BE DUmb and they’re just LAME BOYS IN A HOT TUB AND THEY’VE BEEN IN FOR TOO LONG AND. SO. JEAn’s LIKE. hey now. and jean just. kind of. looks forward and is like. "i lied. i was jerkin it to dicks" and armin’s like. "oh. cool." and then iT’S JUST REALLY AWKwARD CAUSE WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU SUPPOSED TO EVEN SAY LIKE. WAS JEAN JUST. TELLING HIM THAT OR WAS HE MAKING FUN OF HIM OR WAS HE TRYING TO TELL ARMIN HE ACTUALLY LIKED DUDES OR?????? ARMIN IS LIKE. GOING OVER THE CONVERSATION IN HIS HEAD TO TRY AND FIGURE OUT WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON ARMIN’S LIKE “ok jean told me he wasn’t gay because he didn’t crank his lever to dingles but then i told him i was gay and then he told me he does doongle the dongle to dickies? what the fuck” and jean is like "i wanna kiss him i wanna kiss him i wanna kiss him oh god what the fuck" and armin’s like "hey wanna get out now?" cause his skin is feeling gross and like. wrinkly and pruney and stuff and jean like. jumps cause he was lost in thought and he looks at armin and he has no idea what he just said so he’s like. "ok" but neither of them. like. move to get out. and they’re both just kind of staring at each other and. AND. AND THEN. JEAN LEANS IN AND. AND. AAANNNNNNDD. THEIR lIPS TOUCH. JUSt. A TOUCH. AND THEY’RE BOTH. FROZEN WITH THEIR LIPS JUST. TOUCHING TOGETHER. JUST A CHASTE KISS U KNOW. and. it’s like. time stops like. woah there. and like. armin suddenly just. feels SO hOt LIKE. HE”S IN A HOT TUB BUT IT JUST FEELS HOTTER THAN THAT ANd HE JUST. KIND OF. STARTS LIKE. REALLY KISSING JEAN AND JEAN’S LKE OH. and THEY THEN THEY’RE JUST. LIKE. sloppily making out kind of (THIS IS LIKE. AN ENTIRE HIGHSCHOOL CAREER OF AWKWARD SEXUAL TENSION BEING LET OUT OK LIKE. DO U UNDERSTAND LIKE, THEY WEREN’T REALLY FRIENDS BUT THEY WERE LAB PARTNERS OR SOMETHING AND HAVE TALKED AND LAUGHED WITH EACH OTHER AND FOR YEARS HAVE TRIED TO DENY THE ATTRACTION THEY HAVE FOR EACH OTHER BUT HEY HEY THEY DIDN”T TRY HARD ENOUGH APPARENTLY HAHA) but they both don’t REALLY know what they’re doing to be honest like. they’re just. emOTIONAL AND TEENAGERS. And THEn they like break for air and armin’s like “OK WE SHOULD .UH LEt’S GET OUT NOW.” aND HE LIKE. IS GIGGLING AND FEELS DRUNK and just of slips while he’s getting out of the hot tub and jean tries to catch him but they both kind of slip BUT THEY’rE OK. and then they kind of like. run back up to their room like. omfg. and just. they get back into their room and are having like. a giggle fit thing going on like. a serious giggle attack and they both kind of fall on the bed and they’re laughing so hard and just. then you know like jean looks at armin and his cheeks are all flushed and he doesn’t have a shirt on and he just wow and jean’s like. “armin i think i’m gay 4 u” and armin’s like “jean i think that’s the gayest thing you’ve ever said” and then like. armin pulls him back in for another kiss and it’s really intense again right like. they get REALLY into it and. idk it’s just. very intense like. armin rolls on top of jean right and they’re kissing like woah there. LIKE YOU KNOW. WITH THE TONGUES. THEY’RE KISSING LIKE. WITH THE TONGUES WOAAAAH. and armin jUST SUDDENLY JUST. STARTS TALKING LIKE. ARMIN HAS THIS HABIT OF TALKING A LOT WHEN HE’S NERVOUS BUT HE ISN’T REALLY NERVOUS HE JUST. CAN’T STOP TALKING FOR SOME REASON (hanji has the same problem like when her and levi are making out she just. starts talking about science and stuff and levi’s like STOP OH MY GOD OR I’LL MAKE U STOP and then it’s like a fun challenge like, he knows he’s done good when he can make hanji shut the fuck up hell ya man ;) ) OK BUT YEAH. SO ARMIN JUST SUDDENLY STARTS. TALKING LIKE. he breaks the kiss and is like "jean i really really like your abs, do you work out a lot? what’s your workout plan do you eat a lot of vegetables? you’re a good runner i know that you seem like the athletic type too and i’ve always found that really attractive about you. gosh when i think about it jean i’ve always found you REALLY attractive you know like. I never SAID anything or THOUGHT much about it but. you’re just. very VERY much my type did you know that Jean?" and jean’s like. WHY IS HE TALKING SO MUCH HE’S SO CUTE?? and just armin is so embarrassed cause he doesn’t know how to stop talking and he’s just like. touching jean’s sides or something idk and jean laughs cause HEY THAT TICKLES. AND THEN ARMIN CAN”T HELP IT HE STARTS TICKLING HIM AND JUST. THEN JEAN IS LIKE (IDK WHAT’S WITH THIS AU AND TICKLING MAN IDK) "STOP STOP STOP STOP" BUT ARMIN WON’T STOP SO JEAN JUST. SUDDENLY FLIPS THEM SO NOW JEAN’S ON TOP AND HE’S HOLDING ARMIN’S WRISTS DOWN AND BOTH OF THEM ARE SURPRISED AND JEAN’S LIKE. "oh. sorry hah" and armin just. is silent. and wide eyed and. jean thinks he must’ve just really messed up and then armin just. idk lets out some desperate breath that kind of squeaks at the end but like, a sexy squeak (I DON’T KNOW ANYTHING ABOUT SEXY THINGS I’m SORRY) and jean just can’t fucking handle it and he just. attacks armin’s lips and armin’s like. OFMOMGOFngn and jean doesn’t let go of his wrists and armin’s like OMF THIS IS SO HOT and jean’s like THIS IS SO HOT. and neither of them are actually like. that good at kissing but it’s just REALLY GReAT AND THEY’RE JUST. AND jean let’s go of armin’s arm’s SO HE can lower his body right so he can get his face closer and armin like digs his hands into jean’s hair and it’s just gettin real hot and heavy and JeaN’s LIKe HOT DAMN AND THEN AND THEN THERE”s A KNOOCK ON THE DOOR AND ARMIN LIKE ACCIDENTALLY HEADBUTTS JEAN CAUSE HE’S SO SURPRISED BY THE NOISE AND THEN THEY”RE BOTH LIKE. IN SO MUCH PAIN CAUSE ARMIN HIT THEIR HEADS REALLY HARD TOGETHER LIKE OUCH JESUS CHRIST. AND THE KNOCKING HAPPENS AGAIN AND ARMIn’S LIKE OWwwwww and he like. armin like goes to the door and. opens it just a crack and there’s some dude standing there. and he’s like. “your friend left this at the hot tub” and he holds up jean’s shirt and armin’s like. “oh uh. thanks” and then the guy leaves and armin closes the door and just. kind of stands there and holds up jean’s shirt and jean face palms because UGH. and then. jean is sitting on the bed and armin is leaning on the door and they’re both breahting really hard and looking anywhere but each other but finally they look into eachothers eyes and they blush and armin’s like. "uh. so…that just happened." and jean’s like. he like scratches the back of his head and he’s like "yeah. yes yeah. yes that. yeah…" and they’re both really quiet and then armin’s like. "so…" and jean’s like "soo…." and they just. armin like. walks over to jean and just. kind of sits next to him and then he notices the time and he’s like "OH SHIT. IT’s LIKE. 2 AM AND WE NEED TO GET UP AT 5 WE HAVE TO SLEEP" and jean’s like. yeah. so they like. get ready for bed and it’s really awkward but also not? but it is? like. they’re both brushing their teeth next to each other and jean like flicks armin with some water and armin laughs but then they both look at each other and blush and it’s AWKWARD BUT CUTE. and armin puts his glasses on and jean’s like “damn him and his cute glasses” so then they’re ready for bed and. they remember that they have to share the bed so jean’s like. oh uh. shit. and armin kind of crawls into bed and looks at jean and jean’s like “you. you want me to sleep on the floor or something i mean like-” and armin like. grabs jean’s arm (HE WAs standing close to the bed) and just pulls him onto the bed and jean gets under the covers and armin like kind of just. idk. snuggles into him. and jean’s like. OH OUGMROFMIgm and armin’s BLUSHING SO HARD AND ARMIN’S THINKING AND HE’S LIKE “HOLY SHIT DID I JUST. CUDLE HIM WOW OH WOW I CAN’T BACK OUT NOW OMF WHaT I JUST TOTALLY DID THAT ON IMPULSE FUCMAOIGFGj” but then jean puts his arm around armin and. they both just. cuddle and fall asleep that way. mmmm. ——————————- YO BAM IT’S 5 AM NOW SO LEVI BANGS THE DOOR OPEN (he used the spare key to jean and armin’s room actually but levi’s the type that likes to make an entrance) SO HE’S LIKE. RISE AND SHINE U LITTLE SHITS. and armin sits up and he’s like, squinting, and his hair is all crazy and levi HAS TO HOLD BACK A SMILE CAUSE EVEN HE CAN’T DENY THAT ARMIN’S MAJORLY KAWAII ANd THEN LIKE HE SEES JEAN GET UP AND HE REALIZES THEY WERE LIKE. CUDDLED TOGETHER AND LEVI LIKE. Smirks and he’s thinking like “oooh i can’t wait to tell hanji omf” and WOAH speak of the devil hanji walks past levi and into jean and armin’s room and she’s IN HER UNDERWEAR HANJI WHAT THE FUCK. AND SHE’S WEARING HER LIKE. SEXY UNDIES (sexy to levi at least idk how sexy they actually are he just thinks she’s sexy in general and he doesn’t even know why) aND HE ACTUALLY IS LIKE “HANJI WHAT” and she;s like "they’re just underwear levi don’t freak out. I wear bikinis like. it’s the same basically kind of" and LEVI IS LIKE. NONONOONONONOONONONONONNONONONONONO and he like. GRABS HER ARM AND PULLS HER BACK TO THEIR ROOM AND THEN. HE LKE. CLoess the door and he’s like "ARE YOU. WHAT THE. WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU" and hanji’s like "TAKE A CHILL PILL BUD" and she’s about to walk away but levi like. grabs her face and pulls her close and he’s like "hanji. even if. you think it’s fine to walk around in ur sexy undies. eVEN IF YOU THINK THAT’S FINE. THINK ABOUT ME TOO OK LIKE??? I DON’T WANT OTHER PEOPLE SEEING HOW SEXY U ARE LIKE. I MEAN. I. I WANT TO BE THE ONLY ONE WHO SEES UR UNDIES HANJI" and hanji blushes (they’re really weird) and she’s like "omf i didn’t even think about taht" and levi’s like. "just don’t do it again" and hanji’s like. hey now. and she like. jumps him and he catches her and they make out and do sexy things. SO BACK TO THE BOYS. so they get up and get ready and are all set and they close the door behind them at the same time that levi and hanji open their door and like. it’s so obvious that they were just up to something cause levi’s face is flushed and hanji’s hair is messier than usual and they’re both just. a total mess. and jean is like. woahmg HOLY SHIT OK SO. THEY GET BACK IN THE CAR AND THEY”RE DRIVING AND THAT DAY IS PRETTY UNEVENTFUL HONESTLY. (armin and jean almost kind of act like their little make out thing never happened but like, not really cause they’re both really extra awkward around each other but it’s not terrible) BUT THEN. THEY SLEEP IN THE CAR THAT NIGHT AND THEN. THEY FINALLY. GET TO THE BEACH. OH YES. THE BEACh THAT’S RIGHT. THE BEACh YO YOOYOOYOYOOY BEACH BEACH BEACH AND ARMIN IS LIKE FUCK YES THE OCEAN FUCK ME AND HE LIKE RUNS AND GOES TO THE LITTLE CHANGING AREA AT THIS PARTICULAR BEACH AND HE PUTS HIS SUIT ON AND JUST SLAM BAM THANK YA MAM he jUMpS in the water and god armin fucking loves the ocean wow. and jean is just like. “what.” and hanji is like “I’m GONNA LOOK AT ROCKS” and then levi’s like “they really like the ocean this is like the highlight of the trip” and he like. slaps jean’s back and he’s like “good luck” and jean’s like “GOOD LUCK WITH WHAT LEVI. WITH WHAT????” but anyways so they all change into their suits and shit and armin’s like. enjoying himself so much just swimming in the goddamn ocean and then hanji joins him and OMF IT’S AN ANIME BEACH EPISODE. like. jean doesn’t konw if he wants to get in and LEVI. PICKS HIM UP AND THROWS HIM IN THE WATER AND JEAN’S LIKE “NEIGH” and levi like. GETS in the water and they’re all splashing around and having fun like. they’re having real ass fun man like. the fun that you like. just don’t even have like. THEY’RE HAVING SO MUCH FUN THAT LEVI. IS LIKE. SUPER CLOSE TO SMILING OK. THAT’S LIKE. THAT NEVER HAPPENS. and jean loosens up again and he puts armin on his shoulders and hanji sits on levi’s shoulders and they do a chicken fight thing u know the thing they do in the pools in those movies and whatever and then they get out and are laying in the sun and they brought towels and then levi and hanji are like “we gonna go get some hot dogs yo u want some” and the boys are like “hell yeah” so levi and hanji go and then it’s just armin and jean. and. armin is like. “do u ever imagine being a plant and just. using photosynthesis” and jean is like "i think i really like you" and they both. freeze and like. armin’s like omfg and jean’s actually turning red and it ain’t from sunburn honey. and he’s like "i. idk why i uh. wow" and armin’s like. "do u mean like. what. what kind of like" and jean’s like "WHY DO I HAVE TO EXPLAIN? ISN’T IT OBVIOUS" and then hanji’s like "WHAT’S OBVIOUS?" AND JEAN SCREAMS and then hanji gives them their hot dogs and armin still hasn’t said anything back armin’s just kind of. sitting there staring at the ocean and it’s real dramatic ok and like. AND SO THEN LIKE LEVI’s LKE. i’m gonna get a thing from the car and jean’s like I’LL HELP and levi’s like. yeah ok whatever loser and so hanji’s like "so did u and jean kiss yet" and she’s totally joking but armin blushes and she’s like "OMFG U TOTALLY DID" AND ARMIN’S LIKE HANJI PLS and then she’s like "omf armin ur so cute" and armin’s like. HANJI no you don’t uNDERSATND. and she’s like. "yo then help me understand kiddo." and he’s like URHG and if he had a pillow he would stuff his face in the pillow and he’s like. "jean just told me he likes me" and hanji is like "oh? what kind of like?" and armin’s like IDK THAT’S WHAT I ASKED HIM AND HE SAID "ISN"T IT OBVIOUS" BUT I DON"T WANT TO GET MY HOPES UP YA KNOW? and hanji’s like but. you kissed right? isn’t that like. proof enough that it’s the kind of like you want it to be? and armin’s like “WELL I DON’T KNOW WHAT JEAN THOUGHT OF THE KISSING OK” and hanji’s like. omf armin just be happy things are how you want them to be for once jesus christmas. and armin’s like. “but…i’m gonna be i mean. we’re. COLLEGE HANJI. IS IT REALLY A GOOD IDEA TO. EVEN THINK ABOUT GETTING INTO A RELATIONSHIP WHEN. WE DON”T HAVE THAT LONG TOGETHER?” and hanji’s looks at him and laughs her fuckin ass off and she’s like "ARMIN WHAT? if anyone can handle that kind of thing it’s you! I mean heck, you know levi and i didn’t go to the same college! I WAS IN A DIFF COUNTRY KID, but we made it work!" and armin groans and he’s like "yeah well you and levi have known each other since you were kids or something so it was easier for you." and hanji sighs and she’s like "armin hon, sometimes you have to just, i dunno, have fun? take things for what they are and enjoy them as they come and even if you lose them later you can still be happy you at least got to experience them right? i mean you just kissed the dude it’s not like you have to get married right? but if you want to go out with him and kiss him more and he likes you i don’t see why not?" and armin sighs and he’s like. IDK IDK IDK IDK and jean is talking to levi and levi’s like “what the fuck is wrong with your face it looks like you painted it red or something what’s up?” and jean is like “have you. ever liked someone?” and levi just. stares at him. and is like. "no i’ve never had a crush on someone that’s why i’m fuckin engaged. jesus you’re an idiot." and jean is like "NO i"M NOT. I WAS JUST. I MEANT. JUST. WHAT. WHAT DO YOU DO WHEN YOU HAVE A CRUSH?" and levi is like "are you sure you’re 18? i don’t think you’re actually 18." but jean is totally serious and then levi’s like "oh my god you’re actually serious? you’re asking me for relationship advice oh my god." and jean just. stands there buT STAYS STRONG and levi’s just like "ok ok, what do you want to know you can ask me 2 things." and jean’s like OH FUCK THAT’S A LOT OF PRESSURE DUDE. but he decides to ask "how did you first ask hanji out?" and levi kind of. looks away and is like. "i didn’t. she asked me out” and jean is like…”oh” and levi IS LIKE “BUT I WAS THE ONE THAT PROPOSED TO HER OK.” and jean is like. “oh ok.” and then levi kind of. flicks his hair a bit and he’s like. "she. we. hanji and i have known each other since. i dunno, we were like, dumb 10 year olds or something, it’s been a long time. then when we were like 16 i realized i had a STUPID crush on her when my friend asked me about it and it was fucking ridiculous and. apparently she liked me too. so it worked out. cause she. showed up at my house at like. 2 am one night and threw a rock at my window and fucking BROKE the goddamn thing and. jesus christ she’s fuckin nuts. she broke my window and then said something awful like ‘DON’T BREAK MY HEART LIKE I BROKE YOUR WINDOW LEVI I MEAN IT’ like i was supposed to know what that meant. but whatever that’s how she asked me out and then by the second date when she kissed me it clicked and i realized we were dating." AND THEN JEAN LAUGHS BECAUSE OMF. HE CAN’T REALLY IMAGINE SUCH A LIKE. IDK. NORMAL TEENAGE LEVI BEING CUTE AND DUMB BUT WHATEVER and levi’s like. "kid honestly from what i’ve seen of you, you don’t think a lot before you do shit. so i don’t know why you’re thinking so much about this." and jean’s like "well. cause…ugh" and levi’s like. "just…follow your heart or some dumb shit." and levi gets the thing he needed from the car like. an umbrella or something and they walk back to hanji and armin and like. they sit down and armin and jean kind of joke around but it’s pretty awkward and then it’s getting late. so they go back and drive to some cabin near by and it’s awkward but there are separate beds this time. so both armin and jean are having internal battles with themselves to just get over their fears of what the fuck ever and kiss again because kissing was nice and why aren’t they kissing? SO LIKE. 2 MORE AWKWARD DAYS PASS and they’re like, already kind of taking the trip that will take them back home right? so like. everythings pretty calm and quiet and whatever and then like. then OH SHIT. FLAT TIRE. So THEY GET A FLAT TIRE OH NO. and so then levi’s like, what the fuck and hanji’s like what the fuck and then so basically hanji and levi leave to go walk to the nearest gas station (which is fairly close luckily) and they leave armin and jean in charge of the car. so the 2 boys don’t want to waste like. the car’s battery or whatever and it’s pretty nice out so they’re standing outside leaning against the car and like. finally armin’s like. "hey. jean so. i mean like. you. uh. so." and jean’s like. "yeah." and then it’s quiet again and finally armin just gets so frustrated with himself that he’s just like "JEAN JUST. GO OUT WITH ME." and. and then they’re both quiet again save for like, armin’s heavy breathing cause he basically just shouted that and jean’s like. gonna die because omf. and just. armin just. is like. "SO WILL YOU?" and jean’s like. "will. will i what??" and armin’s like "GO OUT WITH ME WILL YOU GO OUT WITH ME JEAN." and JEAN LIKE. SNAPS OUT OF HIS DUMB LIKE. ZONE OUT aND HE’S LIKE "AYEN" and armin’s like "WHAT???" and jean’s like "I MEANT YES SORRY I. I MEANT. YES. UH. YES. YEAH. UH. LEt’S GO OUT YEAH SOUNDS GOOD YES." and then THEY’RE QUIET AGaIN AND facing each other and like. then armin’s just like. "ok. good. GOOD." and he leans against the car again and jean leans against the car and they’re both standing there and. just. and. then like. another tense moment passes and then THYE"RE KISSING. LIKE THEY JUST START. KISSING LIKE. IT’S LIKE THE HOT KISSES MAN LIKE. WOAH THERE BOYS SLOW DOWN THERE LIKE, THOSE KINDS OF KISSES U KNOW LIKE THE ONES FROM THE WEIRD HONEYMOON PLACE AND jUST. armin’s like. thank the lord and jean’s like omf this is so gay and i love it and they’re KISSING and it’s GREAT and then like. then jean starts kissing armin’s neck and armin’s like “fuck yes” BUT THEN. JEAN LOOKS UP AND. LEVI AND HANJI ARE. STNADING JUST. LIKE. STANDING THERE AND. ARMIN is like “JEAN WHY. DID YOU STOP I’M GONNA RIP UR CLOTHES OFF ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME, WHY’D U STOP” and then levi coughs and armin squeals and is like. he is suddenly like. 10 feet away from jean and he’s trying to act innocent and he’s like "H-HELLO" and levi just sighs and starts fixing the tire and hanji just kind of winks really weirdly at them and she walks up to levi and is like "u owe me 20 bucks mister" and levi just like. gives her the money and groans and jean and armin are confused and hanji’s like "levi was betting that you guys wouldn’t be kissing but i was like, OH YES THEY WILL BE" and armin and jean blush and feel so DUMB but are so happy and they get back in the car and the tires all fixed and they’re all ready to go and like. armin and jean are holding hands and it’s really cute AND SO THEN YOU KNOW LIKE. TIME PASSES AND THEy”RE ALMOST HOME and like jean and armin have kissed a few more times but they haven’t had anymore like ravenous makeouts and they’ve cuddled and shit and it’s CUTE as FUCK and anyways then. they’re home. and the road trip is over. and like. levi and hanji like. drop jean and armin at armin’s house and then drive away back to their place that’s like an hour away or something. and so then like. armin and jean just kind of go hang out at armin’s house and armin’s gpa isn’t home and so. hey. they like go and kiss but then jean’s mom comes and jean has to leave and he’s like. “thank u for inviting me” and armin’s like “anytime” and jean leaves and armin just. DOESn”T KNOW WHAT TO DO HE DOES A HAPPY DANCE AND JEAN IMMEDIATELY CALLS MARCO AND IS LIKE “MARCO MARCO MARCO MARCO MARCO MARCO” and marco’s like “OH jEEEEZ” and then idk. i’m just gonna end it there but then the sequel that i wanna type up too would be hanji and levi’s wedding ;) and also like. college and what the fuck would happen with that shit idk man this is lame and long already i spent too long on this i should be embarrassed but i’m like. not at all. OK. OK THANKS FOR. READING THAT LIKE. IF YOU READ THAT WHOLE THING WOAH. I’m LIKE WOW MAN. GOOD FOR YOU LIKE HOLY SHIT. I didn’t even read the whole thing and i wrote it like what. ok. omfok. I’m DONE NOW

#jearmin #jean kirschstein #jean kirstein #armin arlert #jean x armin #tinkerlu #shingeki no kyojin #fanfic #sugoi fanfic #levihan #i really miss tinkerlu

part 2 of tinkerlu’s jearmin roadtrip au

So. we begin with a cute blond boy in his dumb pjs (like, his pj pants are like, some weird science themed shit like. hanji probably got them for him as a present and he wasn’t planning on wearing them EVER but then he needed clean pjs one night so he just wore them and then he realized they were SUPER comfortable so he kept wearing them through the years u feel me, and the shirt is just some guy’s shirt…IT’S JEANS. HE”S WEARING JEAN’S SHIRT AS HIS PJ TOP YO YO YO) OH MY GOD OK ANYWAYS so, there is the blond cutie in his jammy-jams and he’s sitting eating some frosten flakes and he’s TEXTing a BOY. THAT BOY IS HIS BOYFRIEND. JEAN. ;) ;) ;) AND THIS HOW IT GO Armin: Jean are you up yet? Jean: YRo Jean: UES Jean: YES. helps sort. Jean: *HELLO. SORRY Armin: Why not just turn autocorrect off??? Jean: something’s it’s a good thong! Jean: GOOD THONG Jean: THONG Armin: Calm down there cowboy. Jean: spry. Jean: SORRY UGH Jean: so ur excited for roasts? Jean: EXCITED FOR TONIGHT ARE U EXCITED? Armin: Well it’s always nice to see you so I guess so, yeah! Jean: WHAt’s what the hesitance there boi, cmoe on give papa sum sugar Armin: Please never text me that again… Jean: sorry Armin: By the way, you know that shirt you left here when you came over last week? The one you spilled sauce on and I said I’d put it in the wash? Jean: yes yes yes ME CAPTAIN AMEIACA SHIRT Armin: I’m wearing it. Jean: OIDMFOGFMGEOIGHOUAMODT GO O AWYA DOn’T TEXT ME WEIRD THINGS ARMIN I HATE YOU WHY WUDL U Armin: IT’S NOT A WEIRD THING I WAS JUST LETTING YOU KNOW! Jean: NO UR NOT U LITTLE ASS u WERE TRYING TO< YOU TOOK THE pAUSES YOU ASSHOEL, I”M SITTING RIGHT NEXTTO MY MOM DON’T SAY WEIRD THINGS Armin: JEAN IT WASN’T THAT WEIRD IT’S JUST A SHIRT OH MY GOD CALM THE FUCK DOWN!!!! Jean: AER YOU WEARING PANTS??? OR SJUT. THE. AR EYOu. JUST THE SHIRT?????????? NO PANTSSS???? Armin: OH MY GOD OF COURSE I’M WEARING PANTS JUST. LET’S. I’LL SEE YOU TONIGHT OK. BYE. SO THEN ARMIN PUTS HIS PHONE DOWN AND HE’S BLUSHING BECAUSE. HE might have meant to make jean blush a bit at the comment but he didn’t think JEAN WOULD BE IMAGINING THAT HE WOULDN’T WEAR PANTS WITH THE SHIRT LIKE. WHAT?? JEAN WHAT THE FUCK OF COURSE HE’S WEARING PANTS. but then he’s like…does jean think about me like that a lot? BUT THEN he kind of like. slams his palm between his eyes a few times and he’s like STOP STOP STOP THAT’S A WEIRD THOUGHT PROCESS STOP THAT so then he keeps eating his cereal and his gpa comes down stairs and he’s like “hello my coconut grandchild boy” and armin’s like “sup pep-pep” and gpa arlert just like, gets some oatmeal or whatever old people eat and he goes and sits down and starts watching gossip girl or something. so armin leaves right and goes to take a shower and it’s a nice shower. SO THEN BAM. WHAT’S JEAN UP TO HUH. Jean is sitting next to his ma and we’re back in time now to the part where armin put down his phone and JEAN HAS NOW ALSO PUT DOWN HIS PHONE REALLY FAST MORE LIKE THREW HIS PHONE ON THE COFFEE TABLE and jean’s ma is like “JEAN WHAT THE FUCK YA DOIN?” and jean’s like "SORRY MA SORRY" but he’s blushing so hard because. HE JUST MADE AN IDIOT OUT OF HIMSELF LIKE. OF COURSE ARMIN WAS WEARING PANTS. IS HE STUPID??? OF COURSE HE WAS GOD. Jean just feels like such an idiot because FUCKING UGH. and his mom like is still looking at him and she’s like "were you texting that kid again?" jean’s ma knows what’s up "MOM DON’T SAY KID THAT SOUNDS. WEIRD" and jean’s like, he doesn’t like talking about armin with his mom because his mom has a knack for embarrassing him about things "honey there ain’t nothing weirder than a son who doesn’t learn to lock his door while dangling his dangle after his ma has walked in on him 5 times, so don’t tell me that referrin to someone who’s the same age as my son as a ‘kid’ is weird" and ma just. ma just ALWAYS KNOWS. WHAT TO SAY. TO MAKE JEAN SHUT UP. so jean’s like "sorry ma." and ma’s like "good now, you going on a date tonight?" and jean blushes but nods because he can’t fuckin lie to ma she’s not a dumbass. and she smiles cause she don’t care if her son’s dating a girl or a boy or a fucking rock or something, as long as he’s dating someone, that’s all that matters. cause she’s been really worried about his love life cause he’s only had like 1 girlfriend before and when ma was younger she’d dated like 30 guys by the time she was 17. so anyways then ma’s just like “you know how the gay sex works right? if u plan on doing the sex then-” and jean stands up super fast and he’s like "MA NO NONONONONONONO BYE I’M GONNA GO SHOWER BYE NO STOP BYE LATER" and he runs up the stairs and like nearly trips over his dog and he like, is blushing so hard and ma’s just laughing because her son is a loser but goddamn if she doesn’t love the kid to bits. so anyways then jean’s in the shower and he just he’s like. ugh because now he’s getting all kinds of dirty thoughts about his cute boyfriend just wearing his shirt and no pants and UGH STOP STOP STOP, and he just. he’s like. jean just wants to scream because he’s trying SUPER HARD NOT TO THINK OF THINGS LIKE THAT BECAUSE, BECAUSE, jean has had ONE girlfriend before and the reason they broke up is because jean couldn’t stop thinking about kissing her and he thought about it so much to the point that he just couldn’t control himself and he leaned over and kissed her cheek and then she slapped him and broke up with him and he was like fUCK. SO HE DIDN’T WANT THE SAME THING TO HAPPEN LIKE. HE DIDN”T WANT TO THINK SEXUAL THINGS ABOUT ARMIN LIKE ON A DAY THAT HE WAS GONNA SEE HIM CAUSE HE WAS WORRIED HE’D LIKE. THINK ABOUT IT SO MUCH HE’D GET TO THE POINT THAT HE’D JUST LIKE GRAB THAT SWEET BOOTY AND THEN HAVE ARMIN BREAK UP WITH HIM LIKE. JEAN DOES NOT WANNA. BREAK UP WITH ARMIN AT ALL. LIKE THEY’VE ONLY BEEN DATING FOR. IDK LIKE. A MONTH MAYBE BUT. HE DOESN’T WANNA BREAK UP WITH THAT BOY ANY TIME SOON (he refuses to think about what’s gonna happen when summers over and they need to go to college because THAT’S NOT A THING TO THINK ABOUT YET) so jean’s just. feeling TERRIBLE mEANWHILE armin is chilling and picking and outfit for today because even though it’s gonna be super chill like, jean is just coming over tonight (cause armin’s gpa is going to play bingo with some hot dames down at the retirement home) and they’re gonna order like, some pizza or something and watch pixar movies together like. it’s very very chill but armin still wants to pick out a nice outfit but. he doesn’t know wHAT. AND HE’S LIKE FUCK WHY IS THIS. SO HARD. but eventually he settles on some shirt and these jeans that make his ass look fantastic like. armin isn’t the type to feel super…confident in himself. his confidence hAS GOTTEN A LOT BETTER THAN IT USED TO BE BUT, he’s still got some body image issues (god who doesn’t?) but even he can agree that his booty looks damn good in these jeans. so he’s feeling pretty good about himself ;) ANYWAYS TIMESKIP WOAH ARMIN’S GRANDPAP IS OUTTA THE HOUSE??? WOAH IT’S ALREADY 5??? WOAH JEAN IS COMING OVER WOAH JEAN IS AT THE DOOR AND KNOCKING ON THE DOOR WOW TIME IS AMAZING HOW IT JUST SKIPS TO WHERE I WANT IT TO BE INCREDIBLE so jean’s at armin’s door and he knocks obnoxiously loud and then tries to pretend he didn’t just knock so loud and he feels so dumb but he’s just STILL NERVOUS. THEY’VE BEEN DATING FOR SO LONG BUT he still gets nervous because he just likes armin so much??? like he’s scared of the fact that he likes armin as much as he does and is also scared that he’s gonna embarrass himself so it’s like, he’s like double scared so anyways armin like, runs to get the door and he fluffs his hair by the mirror cause why the fuck not and he opens the door and smiles cause jean’s standing there wearing some stupid old track tshirt (he USED TO BE ON THE TRACK TEAM ;) ;) ;) ) and some khakis or something like. he’s just super cute. and jean sees armin and almost breaks down and screams to the heavens because armin is wearing HIS GLASSES AND TIGHT PANTS AND A FORMFITTING SHIRT AND JEAN JUST WANTS TO KILL SOMETHING BECAUSE WHY ARE THE GODS TESTING HIM LIKE THIS??? but instead of doing that he just, nods and walks in and armin closes the door and jean knows armin’s house well enough to just go sit down on the couch and chill while armin brings in some soda and snacks. and jean kind of awkwardly looks at him and he’s like "oh where’s ur grandpappy?" and armin plops down next to him and he’s sitting close enough that jean can smell that nice mix of like some old library and vanilla and it’s a WEIRD MIX THAT IS SOMEHOW SO GOOD? "oh he’s gonna be out tonight. he told me he might spend the night somewhere." and armin makes a gross face because OLD PEOPLE SEX EHWUGH HE DOESN"T WANT TO THINK ABOUT THE FACT THAT HIS GPA MIGHT BE GETTIN SOME TONIGHT LIKE EW NO THANKS GROSS and then suddenly jean’s palms feel even sweatier because fuck his life FUCK HIS LIFE THERE IS NO ADULT IN THE HOUSE. but then he freezes because TECHNICALLY HE’S AN ADULT TECHNICALLY THEY’RE BOTH 18 AND BOTH ADULTS AND THIS IS REALLY BAD. so jean’s having some internal freak out and armin stands up to go look for the dvds that are in this small bookcase right next to the tv right? so. jean is freaking out and his. and then then jean looks at armin’s ass. and. wow that’s. those. pants but. damn. like. DAMN. THAT’S A REALLY NICE BOOTY HIS BOY’S GOT LIKE DAMN FUCKING CHRISTMAS ANIMAL COOKIES THAT’S A REALLY NICE ASS OH NO THIS IS EVEN WORSE OH GOD THERe’S NO ONE IN THE HOUSE BUT THEM AND ARMIN’S GOT A REALLY NICE ASS AND JEAN REGRETS NOT WEARING SOMETHING MORE FLATTERING HIMSELF BECAUSE THERE’S NO WAY ARMIN’S GETTING HOT UNDER THE COLLAR FROM JEAN’S OLD TRACK SHIRT NO WAY NO HOW. so jean wants to sob again because armin’s really hot what the fuck this is so dumb like. and then armin turns around and jean sees his glasses again and he’s like FUCK cause JEAN HAS A DUMB THINGS FOR GLASSES OK. IT’S NOT HIS FAULT. and armin holds up a dvd and is like “you wanna watch toy story?” and JEAN WANTS TO CRY AGAIN BECAUSE ARMIN IS BEING SO CUTE AND HE’S THINKING ABOUT ATTACKING HIM HE’S A TERRIBLE PERSON so jean just nods and armin pops the movie in and sits back down and jean is stiff as a board. like. he’s like. refusing to move. and of course armin has noticed all of this because armin’s not stupid. he knows that jean is feeling pretty awkward though he’s not ENTIRELY sure why (he knows why he just doesn’t want to think that jean might think he’s really attractive cause he’s worried that he’d just be flattering himself but like armin come on u know ur hot) so then armin’s like “jean. chill out” and jean’s like "I’M CHILL WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU TALKING ABOU-HEY" and armin pokes his side and he’s like "jean ur abs are super tight why are you flexing your abs why are you so stiff just chill the fuck out man c’mon." and armin like. leans into jean and jean kind of. melts a bit because. aUGH HE SMELLS GOOD. and then the movie starts and everything kind of calms down right like. thank god jean has chilled out and now they’re back to the usual just. like. jokes and pokes and bein cute. so anyways they watch toystory and then armin puts toystory 2 in and jean admires armin’s butt again and armIN CAN TOTALLY FEEL JEAN”S EYES ON HIM. LIKE. Armin is trying not to blush cause he TOTALLY KNOWS. HE TOTALLY KNOWS WHAT’S UP BUT HE”S TRYING TO PRETEND HE DOESN’T BECAUSE HE DOESN”T WANT TO EMBARRASS JEAN (it’s happened before. armin was actually really surprised to learn that jean could be so skittish like. LIKE?? Jean usually won’t stand down to like. a fist fight or a word fight but when it comes to flirting and that stuff he’s just. he gets very blushy and he stutters and whatever. so the one time armin like. randomly decided to like, kiss jean’s neck or something, jean like, LEFT. HE SAID LIKE “OH I FORGOT I HAD A PLACE” and he just LEAVES and armin was like. fuckin hell. and then they didn’t talk about it later) BUT ANYWAYS SO. ARMIN DOESN’T WANT JEAN TO LEAVE. but he also, also…he’s very very conflicted cause. he LIKEs making jean all flustered but doesn’t like making him UNCOMFORTABLE, so it’s a very delicate fine line that armin doesn’t want to accidentally cross. but he figures that he’s got some wiggle room here, literal wiggle room cause he wiggles a bit like. he makes it seem natural but he’s really just bringing attention to that nice ass he’s got goin on (he can’t help but feel a little extra CONFIDENT OK LIKE WHEN JUST WEARING TIGHTER PANTS MAKES JEAN GO LIKEE WOAH THERE) OMF OK SO. SO. SO. so. ok. jean’s like. just. it’s just extra hard for him cause he was already thinking about weird stuff before he came over and UGH and UGHUGHUGH and then armin sits back down and jean has his feet on the coffee table so armin pops his feet up next to jean’s and starts playing footsie with him and THEY start like, KIcking and giggling and then armin kind of like, tries to be sexy but he’s not that good at it, so he like, tries to drag his foot up jean’s leg to his thigh (but he kind of has to shift awkwardly cause he’s not that flexible and also these are tight jeans he’s wearing) and like, it’s not that he doesn’t do it right or something it’s just that it’s not that hot or whatveer. or at least. it wouldn’t be hot to like, any normal person. but jean is just in a place right now where armin is labeled “hot” and he could do anything and jean would be like “oh hot” SO JEAN STANDS REALLY FAST and he’s like "i"M GONNA PIZZA THAT OK" and he kind of. grabs his cellphone and quick walks into the other room to order the pizza and armin kind of sighs and runs his hands through his hair angrily before kind of like, slouching over and smacking his hands into his forehead and then like, putting his face in his hands cause just. cause like. maybe it’s him? like. they’ve been dating for a month now and the most action they’ve had together was back at that hotel on the roadtrip??? like?? so armin’s like. damn. this sucks cause he’s lke…well if jean wants to take it slow that’s fine but. armin kind of also wants to get into his pants??? like this is makin armin feel nuts like. does jean not…want him like that anymore cause that night they had that serious makeout that was like. woah there. armin could taste the passion but in their chaste kisses as of late, he has not felt the same passion it feels like. what he thought was perhaps restraint but now he’s worried it’s actually like. disgust or regret and ARMIN NO THIS IS A CONFIDENT NIGHT. SHH. 1, 2, 3, armin, deep breaths…shhh it’s ok it’s ok. tonight is a GOOD night. jean isn’t the type to waste his time like that ok ok. ok. and jean like, orders the dumb pizza but then he texts marco too and it’s all Jean: MAROC SOS SOS Marco: What’s up? Everything ok? Jean: HOT BF Marco: Jean are you…really texting me. To ask for my help. Because you think Armin’s hot??? Jean: NO I MENA. EYS BUT. LIEK. RAMIN IS AND I’M LIK YOoooooooooooo Marco: Jesus Christmas Jean just kiss him for fuck’s sake. I mean really, this is getting ridiculous dude. Jean: ????? Marco: Stop freaking out about it and kiss him and then see where that kiss leads you. Stop pulling back and leaving early Jean, since when are you a quitter? Marco: And he’s not going to break up with you like that girl did ok. You were like, 12 when that happened Jean you are 18 now…C’mon man. Marco: You can do this. Jean: I can DO THIS Marco: YOU CAN DO THIS! Jean: I CAN DO THIS Marco: Go get’em tiger. Also if you text me about this again and it’s not to tell me that you made out with him or something, I’m not gonna text back jsyk. Ok ilu good luck <3 so then jean is smiling cause marco’s his bestest bro ever. and like. jean just. has so much confidence right now so he strides back into the living room and armin’s head shoots up and he looks at jean and jean looks at him and then his eyes kind of trail to armin’s hair (which is now kind of sexy messy cause he messed it up but it’s actually not that sexy at all it kind of looks dumb i mean like, it could be classified cute at best but since it’s jean lookin at him he’s like oh hot.) and jean’s mouth just kind of. goes dry. and he’s like. i’m gonna do this. i’m gonna just. let it out. so he like. stomps up to armin and like, picks armin up (more like, half picks him up cause he was expecting armin to be lighter but like, he doesn’t drop him or anything just…doesn’t like, fully pick him up) and armin’s like "WOAH WOAH JEAN WHAT" and then jean like. sits down and just. puts armin in his lap. (yo jean can be pretty sexy when he’s not thinking much about what he’s doing and just letting his instincts do their thang ya feel) so then armin’s like "JEAN WHA-" BUT then jean’s lips are covering his and armin’s like, oh yes please, so he just doesn’t even bother to finish his sentence and just. immediately like, tangles his hands into what he can of jean’s hair almost to like, secure the dude to make sure he doesn’t fucking RUN AWAY LIKE JESUS CRHSIT JEAN C’MON. and jean’s just, he like, his hands are wild ya know like, they just, are SEARCHING armin’s body all around his back and then up his neck and he tugs lightly on armin’s hair and armin’s like oh yeah man i like that. and then armin pulls back and jean is like nonono and he chases armin’s lips like bb no but armin points to his glasses and jean’s thinking like, i don’t want him to take them off because they’re hot but then also we can probs kiss more if they’re off, so then jean decides that he’ll have plenty of opportunities in the future to have armin NOT take his glasses off so he lets his boo remove the thing and armin kind of tosses his glasses onto the coffee table and they make a gross clanking noise but neither of the two care at all cause they’re kissing again ;) and it’s almost like thye’re just, trying to meld together because armin is like “this is what that one night felt like” and it feels like that cause it’s that whole release of sexual tension like, it’s just that final big just, FUCK THIS LET’S KISS and it’s just nuts and then. and then jean finally lets his hands wander to armin’s ass and he’s like, god bless this ass. and he squeezes that butt cause he likes that butt a lot and armin gasps and jean’s like, say hello to my tongue again, and then armin’s like WOAH THERE, and then they’re playing tonsil hockey and whatever and it’s hot cause they’re both attractive young men and it’s like, oh. good yes. god bless and then jean leaves the booty in order to slip his hands up the back of that shirt like hello warm skin holy shit ARMIN IS REALLY REALY WARM OH GOOD and armin shivers cause jean’s hands are like ICE ICE BABY and in any other situation it would not be good but in this one it’s NICE NICE BABY and armin let’s jean know how nice it is by making some hot noise that i’m sure are made during makeouts such as this one and he nibbles on jean’s lips and LET ME TELL YOU, these boys still aren’t masters at kissing ok, but they have had some time to practice (with each other and also jean may or may not have practiced with his pillow because HE WANTS TO BE A GOOD KISSER and armin may have been cray enough to ask yahoo answers but he didn’t really get any helpful answers) so they’re much better now than they were when this whole hot mess started. so idk they’re getting like. REALLY into it like. REALLY. and armin like, shifts closer right and just, it’s getting like, hot in here so take off all ur clothes hot like. these boys are feeling the fiery passion of young love not only in their hearts but on their skin and just the room and generally everywhere and they BOTH ARE LIKE. ARMIN JUST is like "jean…jean you. i need you out of these clothes NOW." and jean’s like. hOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT i"M SO TURNED ON COULD THIS BE THE NIGHT THAT THE SEXUAL SEXY THINGS OCCUR COULD THIS BE????? BUT then the doorbell rings. and jean’s like. SHIT IT’S THE COPS but then he’s like oh wait no i ordered pizza. so jean like. presses his forehead into the crook of armin’s neck and groans and he’s like "fuck i don’t wanna get up" and armin gets off his lap and kind of. tries to straighten out his clothes cause i mean, they can’t leave the pizzaman there that’d be rude. but then jean looks up at armin and…sees his flushed cheeks and even more messed up hair and his heavy panting and just. everything about armin looks very suggestive and…hot right now and jean suddenly gets like this pang of jealously and he’s like. NO ONE IS ALLOWED TO SEE ARMIN LIKE THIS BUT ME. so he like. QUICKLY stands up and he’s like. "no i’ll get hte pizza" and armin is like, yo ok not gonna argue with u there. not even gonna ask. and jean’s happy armin doesn’t ask cause what would he even say "OH NO SORRY ARMIN BAB I DON’T WANT U TO GO TO THE DOOR CAUSE U LOOK TOO SEXY MESSy" like??? so jean like, tries to straighten his clothes out as best he can but he can’t make them like, fully straight cause they’re covered in his gay and then he feels armin like, trying to help him out with that but. it just. makes his clothes messier and gayer becuase he TURns around and starts kissing his boy again and like, idk they just, start like making out again but then the doorbell rings like RING RING RING RING RIIIGIIRIRIRIRIRIRIIR and jean’s like holy fuck that sounds like one angry pizzaman but armin just nipped his earlobe and OH THAT’S NICE SO. they kind of. awkwardly like. keep kissing while jean slowly backs them up and out of the living room to the front hall where they reach the door and like. jean pulls away and he’s got this dumb grin and armin’s got this dumb grin and their faces are so red and they don’t even care they’re like. whatever like, cause now that they’re both in the hall jean doesn’t have to worry about any other wandering eyes on armin’s cute face cause if any eyes be wandering that aren’t jean’s he’ll punch a mothefucker so it’s chill so jean opens the door and his plan is if the pizzaman looks at his obvious like, out of breath-ness or red face he’ll be like, “what jealous i was gettin some? lol yeah that’s what i thoguht” but his like. dumb smile drops off his face because. when the door. opens he. that. isn’t. the pizza man that is. eren. and eren’s face just. contorts into horror and jean’s face just. does that too and then armin’s does that TOO BECUASE. FUCK. and eren OPENS THE SCREEN DOOR, WALKS IN AND SLAMS BOTH DOORS SHUT BEHIND HIM. AND THEN HE’S LIKE "What the fuck" and jean looks at armin and eren looks at jean looking at armin and then he’s looking at armin and armin’s looking at eren and jean’s looking at armin looking at eren and then eren looks back to jean then to armin then to jean then to armin "JEAN WHY ARE YOU IN ARMIN’S HOUSE ARMIN WHY IS JEAN HERE WHY THE FUCK WAS I NOT INVITED??? YOU SAID YOU WERE HANGING OUT WITH YOUR BOYFRIEND TONIGHT YOU DIDN’T SAY IT WAS JUST A FRIENDS NIGHT THING IF THAT’S WHAT WAS UP WHY WAS I NOT INVITED???" and armin’s like "UhhhhhUU THIS IS. UH. WE WERE UM" AND EREN IS LIKE "JEAN IS THAT FUCKIN DROOL ON YOUR FACE?? WHY ARE- oh my god. no." and then eren connects the dots. and. he. flips. his. SHIT. "WHAT THE FUCK WHAT’S GOING ON WHAT’S GOING ON NO NONONONONONONOONONOONON WHAT?? NO ARMIN DON’T U FUCKING TELL ME. HE’S YOUR BOYFRIEND? ARMIN NO YOU CAN DO SO MUCH BETTER” and jean freaks cause he’s like "ARMIN YOU DIDN’T TELL HIM????" and armin’s like "I WASN’T AWARE THAT WE HAD DECIDED TO TELL PEOPLE??" and jean’s like "WELL I TOLD MARCO??? AND CONNIE??" and then armin’s like "wait. what. really? THAT WOULD EXPLAIN. THOSE TEXTS CONNIE SENT ME I THOUGHT HE WAS TRYING TO FLIRT WITH ME" and jean shrugs and eren is just FUMING and he’s like "aRMIN I WAS OK WIHT YOU JUST. BEING FRIENDS WITH JEAN CAUSE WHATEVER BUT. BOYFRIENDS??? ARMIN YOU’RE AWARE THAT BOYFRIENDS USUALLY KISS AND STUFF???" and then armin’s like "EREN CALM DOWN WE JUST. KIND OF REALIZED WE. UH. IT’S UM. WE FOUND. UH. A THING WE. YOU KNOW LIKE. WE HAD A MOMENT ON THE ROADTRIP AND-" and armin just kind of. waves his hands around in the air and he’s like "chemistry" so then eren’s like "FUCK OF COURSE THIS WOULD HAPPEN. IS THIS JUST TO SPITE ME CAUSE I COULDN’T GO WITH YOU ON THE TRIP?" and armin’s like "NO?? WHAT??? EREN THIS ISN’T ABOUT YOU?" and jean’s like ”EREN GET OVER URSELF” and then eren just punches jean in the face, like a full force eren rage punch. and he does it in just the right place that he. totally. knocks jean out. so jean just. hits the ground and he’s out like a light and eren shakes out his fist because JEAN’S FACE IS SO HARD AND THAT REALLY HURT?? and armin’s like ”EREN WHAT THE FUCK WHAT THE FUCK WHAT THE FUCK WHAT THE FUCK WHAT THE FUCK SHIT” and eren’s like "THAT’S MY LINE JACKASS!!! JEAN ISN’T BOYFRIEND MATERIAL. HE’S AN OK FRIEND OK, I ALREADY ADMITTED THAT, I WAS CHILL WITH YOU BEING FRIENDS. WE EVEN SAW THAT MOVIE ALL TOGETHER AND I FUCKING ADMITTED THAT I HAD FUN OK??? BUT JEAN AS YOUR BOYFRIEND? ARMIN NO WAY. HE’S NOT EVEN GAY ARMIN" and they’re just YELLING AND BOTH OF THEM ARE YELLING ABOUT NOTHING THEY’RE JUST YELING FOR NO REASON NOW AND ARMIN STARTS WIPING UP JEAN’S BLOODY NOSE AND LIKE then armin’s like "EREN FUCK YOU SO MUCH!—help me lift jean onto the couch—EREN I HATE YOU YOU’RE THE WORST HOW COULD YOU DO THIS TO ME—fuckin..help me lift him…no…grab his legs eren, jesus christ—I HATE YOU" and at the same time eren is like "I HATE YOU MORE YOU’RE SO DUMB JEAN IS NOT BOYFRIEND MATERIAL—support his head will you??—I HATE YOU THIS IS DUMB I’m NOT SORRY IF I KILLED HIM, I HATE YOU WE AREN’T FRIENDS ANYMORE" and they both keep yelling dumb things at each other while trying to lift/drag an unconscious jean back to the living room so they can put him on the couch and finaly they manage to get him there and eren and armin high five but then remember that they hate each other now so they’re like ugh and armin wants to cry and just scream cause now jean would NEVER kiss him again and he HATES fighting with eren and he’s so MAD becuase eren SAID JEAN WAS COOL. EREN TOLD HIM. THAT HE WAS OK WITH JEAN AS A FRIEND THAT HE EVEN WANTED TO HANG OUT WITH JEAN AND ARMIN MORE HE SAID. THAT HE THOUGHT. JEAN WAS SORT OF FUNNY SOMETIMES EREN FUCKING TOLD HIM. EREN SAID. EREN TOLD ARMIN THAT JEAN WASN’T AS BAD AS HE ALWAYS THOUGHT SO WHY IS IT SO TERRIBLE THAT ARMIN WOULD BE DATING HIM??? and eren is about to yell again but then the doorbell rings and armin’s like. FUCK THAT’S THE ACTUAL PIZZA DUDE and eren’s like "i’ll get it ok just…make sure jean isn’t dead" cause eren doesn’t really wanna go to jail or anything (and also doesn’t want jean to be dead? HE DOESN’T HATE THE GUY. HE REALLY DOESN’T HE JUST. HATES THAT. HE WOULD DARE TO DATE ARMIN CAUSE HE ISN’T GOOD ENOUGH FOR HIM ARMIN DESERVES A LOT FUCKIN BETTER THAN JEAN) so eren like, goes and takes some money from the cabinet in the kitchen that armin’s g-pa always keeps some spare money in. and eren is grumbling to himself and his hand hurts so much and this is so dumb and he HADN’T MEANT TO HIT HIM THAT HARD OK HE DIDn’T MEAN TO KNOCK THE DUDE OUT. it really wasn’t really his intention to do it in the first place he was just so MAD at armin and just the fact that jean or armin hadn’t told him and they had HUNG OUT AND. WERE THEY DATING WHILE THEY SAW THAT MOVIE TOGETHER HAD THEY LIED TO HIM??? FUCKIN HELL! HE FELT SO LEFT OUT AND HURT AND MAD AND WHAT THE FUCK so armin is like, making sure jean is still breathing or something and like, jean’s nose isn’t bleeding anymore which is good but armin’s like. he suddenly just. feels the worry and surprise now that he’s calmed down a touch cause before it was all masked by the anger he felt towards just. eren and how he hadn’t expected eren to get THT upset. so now that he’s alone with his unconscious boyfriend he’s like “SHIT” and he just wants jean to wake up so he can make sure he’s ok and whatever so he tries to think up a plan for that because c’mon armin you’re a smart kid we all know that. so then he remembers that his pep-pep has like, this gross smelling tobacco or something like, whatever old people smoke that smells bad you know, and so he goes and grabs it (a tin of it? idk what old people have but. whatever the point is that it smells STRONG and ugh) so armin like, waves that in front of jean’s nose to kind of, waft it to his nostrils and after doing that for a bit then jean like, splutters awake and armin’s like HUZZAHHhh so then jean is like. “AHEUHHHE” (CAUSE THAT STUFF SMELS SO BAD) and armin puts the bad smelling stuff on the coffee table and like, hugs jean cause thank god he’s not dead (HE KNEW JEAN WASN’T DEAD OK IT’S JUST EASY TO WORRY ABOUT THINGS ALRIGHT) and jean is kind of surprised and still dazed but he hugs back anyways cause he’s feeling kind of wacky right now and armin’s scent always calms him down a bit. and of course that’s when eren walks back in (he payed the pizza guy but didn’t count out a tip so then he had to do that and it was awkward cause eren doesn’t know how to calculate how much to give for a tip so he ended up just like. giving the dude like. 15 dollars or something like, WAAAY too big of a tip but the dude wasn’t complaining and eren didn’t give a shit and then he put the pizza on the kitchen counter) and eren groans and sits down on some chair that’s also arranged to be around the coffee table but isn’t quite next to the couch (i’m making this furniture placement description more confusing than it was to be i’m sorry. the chair would be adjacent to the couch, let’s just go with that ok) and starts taking deep breaths and counting to 3 (something bertl taught him probably idk) and he’s like, rubbing his temples because this is seriously a fucked up night he just wanted to tell armin about this totally awesome thing that happened and he just wanted to have a sleepover and chill out. he hadn’t expected this. so finally eren’s just like. “i’m sorry” and armin is like… "…" and he looks up and eren looks so embarrassed like. cause eren actualy got a good look at jean and oh shit he actually punched him so hard like. oh shit. so he’s looking away and he’s like. fuck. i really fucked up.

so then armin sighs because he doesn’t know what to do and he’s like. "eren you’re still my best friend…." and eren is like "SAME. YOU’RE STILL MY BEST FRIEND TOO I’M. I DIDN’T. I DIDN’T KNOW. I MEAN. I. UGH THIS IS. WHY HIM???" and armin’s like. "i like him eren…" and eren’s like UGH and jean is like "i like u too bb" and armin’s like. jean u cutie. and then it’s just kind of quiet and jean is laying on the couch and armin is sitting by his head at the end of the couch cushion and eren is like. "i’m…sorry i. punched you in. the face i guess…" and jean’s scoffs and eren’s like "I’M APOLOGIZING ASSHOLE" and jean’s like "YEAH AND I DON’T FUCKING ACCEPT YOUR APOLOGY AT ALL. YOU PUNCHED ME IN THE FACE!" and eren stands up like, he wants to puch him again and armin’s like "STOp. JEAN ACCEPT THE APOLOGY" and jean’s like "NO" and armin’s like "YES" so jean’s like "thanks for the lame apology…i GUESS" and eren’s like. "ha" and armin’s like "eren. i know i should’ve told you as soon as it happened but. i. i didn’t know how you’d react…" and armin feels kind of. like. he really fucked up here. BUT ARMIN IT WASN’T TOTALLY YOUR FAULT OK. and eren’s like "i’m. UGH THIS IS SO DUMB. JUST. WHEN ARE YOU GONNA BREAK UP?" and jean is like "never." and then he blushes because HE KIND OF IN SOME WEIRD SWITCH AROUND WAY JUST PROPOSED TO ARMIN A BIT???? and armin’s like. lol. and eren is like. "HA HA HA" so then it’s kind of quiet again and eren’s just like. "so…what. what were you guys even doing?" cause he can’t help but be curious and jean just blurts like "MAKIN OUt" and eren’s like "gross…" and armin just blushes because. he’s HAPPY BECAUSE. LIKE. EVEN IF EREN FREAKED THE FUCK OUT HE CALMED DOWN PRETTY FAST CONSIDERING AND, HE’S JUST. HAPPY THAT MAYBE THIS WILL WORK OUT AND BE Ok!!! and then eren just sighs and he’s like. "well. this is fuckin awkward" and jean’s like "yeah no kidding…and my head is fucking throbbing thanks for asking." and armin looks at him and he’s like "would u like some ice?" and he’s like. "i guess?" and eren’s like. "i’ll get it…" and then eren goes and gets some ice and armin takes a second to kiss jean on the forehead and jean blushes so hard and armin’s like "i’m sorry i didn’t tell him. i’m sorry he punched you…if you never wanna makeout again i understand." and jean’s like "NO. STOP NO. I WANT TO MAKEOUT AGAIN. I WANT TO MAKEOUT A LOT. I WANT TO MAKEOUT FOREVER ARMIN Your ASS IS. THE REAL THING IS SO MUCH BETTER THAN I IMAGINED." and armin raises a brow and he’s like "so you HAVE imagined that stuff huh? how far has your imagination gone?" and jean’s like "armin DON’t ASK THAT, YOU. YOU DON’T ASK THAT KIND OF STUFF" and armin like, leans in to whisper in his ear and he’s like "you should show me how far your imagination has gone." and jean is like. FUCK BONER, because armin did that. that voice that jean didn’t think armin could even do but it’s like, that low sultry voice that’s so aTTRACTIVE and jean is so MAD that eren interrupted and then eren walks in and he groans because he’s like "i don’t want to know why jean is blushing pls don’t tell me" and armin laughs cause everything is just like. chill right now. BUT THEN THE DOORBELL RINGS AGAIN????? and they’re all silent cause they’re like who could taht be? so eren goes to open the door and armin and jean just hear him go "MIKASA????" and mikasa like. walks into armin’s house and closes the door and is like "eren i tried to call you to make sure you got to armin’s house ok but you left your phone at home so i brought it over so that i could call you and make sure everything was ok." and eren’s like. "WHAT THE FUCK MIKASA" and mikasa’s like "did you guys get pizza?" and she just walks into the kitchen and takes a slice and then walks past eren into the living room and expects to see armin on the couch and like, some movie playing but. then she’s like "what." cause jean is there? and she’s like "uh, hey?" and armin’s like "hey there mikasa" and jean’s like "MIKASA??? WHAT THE FUCK DO YOU GUYS JUST. WALK INTO EACH OTHER’S HOUSES LIKE????" and armin’s like "jean we’ve been friends since we were like 3. we’re all like siblings. it’s not weird." and jean’s like "it’s a little weird" and mikasa is like "no." but then she looks at his face and she’s like "did eren punch you?" and jean is like "WHAT HOW DID YOU KNOW" and she’s like "cause eren’s knuckle was a little red. eren is your hand ok?" and jean’s like. "UH MORE LIKE. IS MY FACE OK????" and then mikasa walks over and takes eren’s hand to check it over and she’s like "jean your head is very hard so i want to make sure eren didn’t break any bones in his hand" and jean mumbles like "is my head really that hard?" and armin shrugs cause he’s the only one in the room that HASN’T punched jean before so he has no idea. but whatever so like. now that mikasa is there just. all the tension has melted away and it’s actually pretty nice like. eren gives jean the ice for his head and they all eat pizza and eren and jean debate with eachother about dumb things and armin laughs and it’s cute and like. jean’s face hurts so bad and he complains about it until armin gets him some advil and it just ends up being a super kawaii night and like. eren passes out so mikasa carries him home right so then it’s like. 12 at night and armin and jean are just. sitting on the couch and armin got jean some more ice and they’re just sitting and like. talking and armin’s like "sorry about all that…i really didn’t think eren would punch you." and jean’s like "please armin, i can take a few punches alright. and if it means that he won’t be an ass about us dating then what the fuck ever right? like. i’ll probably get a chance to punch him back anyways." and armin laughs because he doesn’t even care anymore like. of course he wishes that jean and eren would just. drop the act and admit that they enjoy each other’s company (even if eren doesn’t particularly enjoy the fact that jean is now dating his bff, he’ll probably get fully over it later hopefully???) but armin is just glad that at least eren didn’t like. start saying mean things or something and that they were able to resolve it within the hour instead of fighting about it for weeks. and jean kind of brings armin out of his thoughts when he takes his hand and he’s like "i’m…really glad we’re dating." and armin smiles and he’s like "me too jean." and they’re just kind of. smiling and then jean leans over and pecks armin on the lips and pulls back. and then he kind of. he looks at armin’s face and armin’s eyes are a little droopy cause he’s a bit tired and he’s got a silly smile on his cute lips and jean just fuckin throws the ice bag across the room and tackles armin back onto the couch and armin’s like WOAH THERE COWBOY and jean is like OH SHIT THAT ACTUALLY HURT MY NOSE OH OUCH but he doesn’t stop cause he loves how armin’s mouth still taste’s a bit like pizza and that SOUNDS gross but it doesn’t taste gross at all and he just. starts going to TOWN on armin’s lips like. biting the bottom one a bit and just, tongues and teeth and it’s intense man it’s like. seriously full of passion. and armin is responding with GUSTo like, hell yeah man. and they’re just, making out again and it’s wiht as much emotion as it was before like if jean’s face didn’t hurt so bad he could even convince himself that like, he hadn’t even stopped kissing armin from before. and armin is breathing super heavily cause dang. and he like, wraps a leg around jean’s leg and pulls his hair and smashes his face closer and their kiss gets DEEPER and jean feels like he’s FLOATING and just wow and armin is just. getting SO INTO IT LIKE. armin has never felt this way about someone before like. sure armin had thought about guys adn whatever but he never like. WANTED a dude like he wanted jean idk why they just have this CHEMISTRY like. they have so much chemistry they could teach a ivy league college chem class. that’s how intense it is right. so. jean breaks away for air and starts kissing armin’s neck again and armin’s like "haaaaaeeeey reminds me of, that first time we kissed haha" and jean looks up at him and he’s like "keep talking" and armin’s like ??? and jean’s like "i love hearing your voice i love when you talk" and armin blushes even harder because JEAN THAT’s WEIRD BUT OK so he’s like "i. i’ve never really. like. gone this far with someone before, i’m glad that i get to experience this with you???" cause he doesn’t know what to say at all and jean makes a noise and whines and shoves his face into the crook of armin’s neck again and inhales and he’s like "ARMIN YOU MANGAE TO BE SO CUTE AND REALLY HOT AT THE SAME TIME IT’S TOTALLY NOT FAIR" and armin chuckles a bit but it’s kind of breathless and he’s like "oh please, jean you have no idea how much i think about you” and jean looks up at him and he’s like "tell me" and armin’s like "i think about you all the time." and jean’s like "what do you think about?" and armin like, lets his fingers dance up jean’s arm slowly while he’s like "hmm…i think about you arms." and he like, runs his fingers back down jean’s arm to his hand "you have nice arms y’know?" and jean’s like "ikr" and armin laughs because jean is such a loser and he smiles and like, drags his hand BACK up to jeans arm and crosses over to his jaw and traces the edge of his jaw with his pointer finger so jean props his head up and looks at armin and armin’s like "i like your jaw too…" "what do you like about it?" "i dunno, it’s got a nice strong shape. it’s. it’s a good jaw idk" and jean smiles and kind of, looks away and he’s like "i like your eyes" and armin laughs "what’s so great about my eyes?" and jean leans into armin’s hand which is still on his jaw and he’s like "well they’re a pretty color but also they have a…calming shape, like. they aren’t scary unless you want them to be but like. someone told me once that my eyes always look kind of scary even if i’m smiling." and armin laughs again and jean likes his laugh a lot and he’s like "your eyes aren’t scary. your eyes are dumb" and jean’s like "WHAT??? wHAT does that even MEAN?" and armin smiles and he’s like "i’m kidding. they’re very attentive. i like it." and he kisses jean again but it’s softer this time and more sleepy and cute and jean smiles into the kiss and then they’re just kind of lazily pressing their lips together until armin’s like. "let’s go sleep" and jean’s like "woah i can sleep over?" and armin’s like "dude it’s 1 AM" and jean’s like. "oh. lol" so they go upstairs and sleep in armin’s bed and they just pass out on top of the bed in their clothes and jean falls on his face and it hurts but it’s fine cause he can smell armin and that sounds creepy but i swear it’s not at all and it’s cute and nice. so in the morning armin gets woken up by his cellphone ringing and jean is still passed out so armin like. looks at the caller ID and it’s mikasa and he’s like. what. so he answers like "mikasa?" but his voice is all tired and cute and mikasa is like "so?" and armin’s like. "so…what?" and mikasa sighs and she’s like "did you?" and mikasa sounds like…embarrassed? "DID I WHAT MIKASA?" armin laughs a bit cause mikasa is a cutie "did you…i dunno, fuck?" and armin is suddenly super awake "EXCUSE ME??" "I MEAN. I’M JUST. ASKING." "MIKASA WHAT THE FUCK NO WE DIDN’T DO THE DO ARE YOU JOKING???" and mikasa sighs and she’s like "I just wanted to make sure that if you did do the do you wore a condom and stuff" and armin huffs like "MIKASA MY GOD. I"M NOT AN IDIOT" and she’s like "I don’t want you to get hurt…" and armin’s like "I know. i don’t want you to get hurt either." and then mikasa is like "…how far have you gone?" and ARMIN’S LIKE "MIKASA JESUS CHRIST" and she’s like "WHAT I JUST. I’M. IT’S FOR HOMEWORK" and armin’s like "mikasa we’RE NOT EVEN IN SCHOOL ANYMORE" and she just grumbles to herself and armin sighs and he’s like "we’ve basically just made out…cause whenever we get closer to something else we end up talking or flirting or something. he grabbed my ass though." "did he hurt your ass?" "NO OMF MIKASA PLS" and she laughs and she’s like "i love u" and armin’s like "ilu2" and then mikasa just hangs up and armin’s like. what a cute. and then he puts his phone back on his bedside table and jean is like. kind of awake at this point so he like. grabs armin’s waist and pulls him back down to snuggle with him and then they both sleep more and it’s cute yo

BIM BOoM BAM SO IT’S BEEN ABOUT 5 DAYS SINCE THAT AND JEAN’S BLACKEYE IS FINALLY HEALING UP AND MARCO IS HELPING HIM PUT MAKEUP ON IT AND HE’S LIKE "you know it’s not that bad jean you don’t have to cover it with foundation" and jean’s like "well i. i want to look nice…" and marco laughs and is like "jean i don’t think armin really cares" and jean splutters and is like "WELL. I CARE. AND WHAT KIND OF. IMAGE IS IT TO SHOW HIS GRANDPA….like OH HI I’M DATING YOUR GRANDSON AND I ALSO HAVE A BLACKEYE YES PLEASE TRUST ME." and marco snorts like "jean quit overreacting, armin already told you his grandpa’s a chill dude." and jean’s like "marco you act like this is so easy but it’s not like you’ve ever had to go meet someone’s genius grandpa or something" and marco’s like "fair point, however, you’re being a baby." and he pinches jeans arm and jean’s like FUCK YOU and marco laughs and then he’s like "alright boo, that’s about as good as you’re gonna get with your face there" and jean looks in the mirror and he’s like "YOOOOO IT LOOKS LIKE I DOn"T EVEN HAVE A BRUISE HOLY SHIT MAKEUP IS AWESOME" and marco’s like "I KNOW RIGHT????" and jean’s like "we’re gonna give each others make overs soon" and marco’s like "we better." and then marco drives jean to armin’s house cause he’s a good friend and he drops him off and he’s like "be safe" and he winks and jean is like marco PLS. but anyways so jean walks up to armin’s door and he like takes a deep breath and is about to ring the doorbell when the door like FLIES open and HANJI HUGS JEAN LIKE. HOLY SHIT. AND JEAN IS LIKE WHAT THE FUCK WHY IS HANJI HERE AND HE KIND OF ALMOST FALLS DOWN BUT MANAGES TO HUG BACK AND HE’S LIKE "UHHA???" and hanji’s like "JEAN YOU SMELL LIKE LAVENDER" and jean is like. WHAT. and then she breaks the hug and is like "how u doin" and jean is like… "i…huh??" and then armin kind of runs outside and he facepalms and he’s like "JEAN I UH…hanji and levi showed up for a surprise visit…." and jean’s like "oh..um. ok?" and hanji like steers jean inside and she’s like "SO JEAN HOW HAVE THINGS BEEN?" and jean’s like "good i guess?" cause he’s still like. really like. what. because he was expecting armin’s gpa, not his cousin. and hanji leads him into the kitchen were levi is like. wearing an apron and cooking and hanji is like "you remember my lovely wife" and levi is like "i’m not your wife yet you piece of shit" and hanji laughs cause he didn’t even deny that he was her wife like he could’ve said no i’m gonna be ur husband soon or something but like. he didn’t even give a shit god she loves him so much. and then levi turns to jean and like. raises a brow in greeting before going back to making the food he’s making or whatever and jean’s like. hey so then jean is about to ask like. what the fuck is going on but then armin’s grandpa walks in and he’s wearing like, weird suspenders and this shirt that’s too tight and he’s like "hello!" and jean’s like, oh my god i have to be cool in front of everyone now. so jean tries to be chill and walks up to armin’s grandpa and takes his hand and shakes it roughly before being like "HELLO I AM DATING YOUR SON." and then he stutters and he’s ilke "I MEAN GRANDSON." and armin’s grandpa laughs and armin groans cause this is so embarrassing and like, pappy arlert pulls jean in for a manly one armed hug and he’s like "you seem just lame enough to even out my grandson’s high level of cool" and JEAN IS LIKE. EXCUSE ME. AND ARMin"S LIKE "GRANDPA" and grandpap laughs and he’s like "yo jk you’re both super lame lol." and jean is like. What thE FUCK IS WRONG WITH YOUR FAMILY ARMIN AND ARMIN’S LIKE. I DOn’T KNOW. so anyways then like, they’re all eating dinner and it’s really casual and cool except jean is super nervous cause he doesn’t quite know if he’s supposed to be like…formal or not. so armin like, is sitting next to him and he kicks his leg a bit and like. kind of plays a little footsy with him and jean smiles cause damn this boy cute and then hanji is like "jean i never heard back from you tho?" and jean’s like. oh shit i wasn’t listening what the fuck is she talking about and he’s about to make up some answer when armin’s like "oh fuck" and everyone looks at him and he’s like "i"M SORRY HANJI I FORGOT TO TELL HIM OMFG" and hanji is like. ARMIN WHAT. and armin’s grandpa is like. TELL HIM WHAT NOW WHAT WHO??? and levi is like,"the wedding is in 2 weeks jean" and jean’s like. HUH????? and armin feels SO DUMB CAUSE HE FORGOT TO TELL JEAN CAUSE HE WAS TOO BUSY THINKING ABOUT KISSING JEAN INSTEAD AND DAMMIT!!!! and jean’s like. uh. "congrats?" and levi is like. "jean fuck you are you coming or not you little shit?" and jean’s like "HAH???" and levi like imitates jean’s hah like “‘HAH?’ he says” and hanji snorts and armin can’t help but laugh cause levi does a damn good impression ok and jean is like ”YO WHAT WHY ARE YOU LAUGHING WHAT THE FRICK” and then levi is like "are you coming to our wedding or not?" and jean is like. "OH! YES!" except he doesn’t even know what day they’re talking about he just knows he wants to go because??? jean loves weddings, shh don’t tell anyone. he’s only been to one wedding before but he had a lot of fun and he enJOYS THEM A LOT OK SHUT UP THEY’RE FUN and then hanji like, flicks levi’s nose as she stands up to get more food and she’s like “see, told u” and then armin laughs because levi totally cares about jean like. levi is attached to jean like, HE DOESn”T ADMIT IT OR SHOW IT AT ALL BUT. HE THINKS JEAN IS LAME BUT HAS POTENTIAL OK. ok so whatever so then the rest of dinner happens and then it’s like. idk, later into the night right like. 7:30 late, which isn’t that late but whatever. and they’re all sitting in the living room, armin’s gpa on his chair, levi is sitting in the chair opposite of grand pap’s and hanji is like. laying across his lap and then armin and jean are just sitting on the couch chilling out like whatever man. and they’re all chatting and it’s cute and then grandpa goes to bed cause he’s old and tired from all the old people sex he has with the dames at the retirement home and he says that and everyone groans because GRANDPA NO THAT’S GROSS and he laughs because YOOO, but anyways so then he’s gone and levi’s like "hanji take his spot" and hanji’s like "haha nope." and then levi sighs and jean’s like "wait do i have to get you a wedding gift?" and armin sighs because JEAN OF COURSE YOU HAVE TO YOU IDIOT and levi is like "r u 4 real. yes of course u have to." and at the same time hanji is like "hell yeah son" and jean’s like. dang. cause he doesn’t know what to get them at ALL but armin puts his hand on jean’s arm and he’s like "it’s k jean i’ll help u out" and jean’s like. bb. so then anyways hanji interrupts their little moment all like "jean you should’ve seen armin’s face when levi and i showed up! i’ve never seen him look so horrified" and armin blushes but he’s like "HANJI IT’S CAUSE. TONIGHT OF ALL NIGHTS. you HAD to do your SUPRISE VISIT thing. literally on the NIGHT that was supposed to be calm and just. a get to know you thing considering grandpap doesn’t really know jean." and hanji’s like "i know! it worked out super well though cause we miss you jean" and jean’s like. wahtht and hanji’s like "ur a good fit for armin" and then they’RE BLUSHING AND IT’S LAME AND THEN HANJI IS LIKE, sitting on levi’s lap and he’s combing his fingers through her hair and she’s like "you guys just remind me of me and levi when we were younger." and levi’s like "they’re not like us at fucking all hanji what are you talking about" and hanji’s like "SHH I"M TRYING TO. HAVE A HEART TO HEART HERE" and levi’s like "WELL IF YOU’RE GONNA HAVE A HEART TO HEART AT LEAST SAY TRUTHFUL THINGS???" and hanji’s ilke. u lil shit. but then she’s lke "OH! How’s eren and mikasa? I feel like it’s been so long since we’ve seen them" and armin’s like. they’re good. and then HE FEELS BAD BECAUSE HE. DOESN"T REALLY KNOW??? LIKE HE DOESN"T REALLY KNOW WHAT’S GOING ON IN THEIR LIVES AND HE FEELS LIKE A TERRIBLE FRIEND BECAUSE HE’S BEEN PUSHING HIS FRIENDS ASIDE SO HE CAN HANG OUT WITH JEAN (EXCEPT NOT AT ALL ARMIN LIKE OMF STOP BEING SO HARD ON YOURSELF???) but anyways so then the night continues and they play monopoly or something and jean loses and it’s lame but fun and then like. hanji and levi go up to the guest room and pass out and jean’s mom comes and picks him up or whatever and then armin goes to sleep and it’s chill and cool and he snuggles into his blankets cause all things considered, it was a pretty good night and he’s happy about that. ———————— BAM SO THEN. armin wakes up in the morning and is like “i’m gonna call eren and mikasa to hang out” and as he’s about to call them eren calls him so he’s like oh lol and he answers all like "hey eren i was just abou-" and eren is like "ARMIN I’M AT YOUR HOUSE PLEASE OPEN YOUR FRONT DOOR" and armin’s like. "what the fuck?" and eren’s like "NOW MAN DO IT NOW!" so armin RUNS downstairs and opens the front door and eren like. is super red in the face and slams the door shut and he’s like. breathing super hard and he starts pacing back and forth and back and forth and he’s freaking out and armin’s like. "yo what the fuck is going on?" and eren’s like "SHE KISSED ME." and armin’s like "MIKASA???" and eren’s like "NO U SICK FUCK WHAT THE FUCK NO. ANNIE" and armin’s like "ANNIE??????????" and eren just looks at him and starts pacing back and forth again and he’s like. he looks so freaked out and armin’s like "ok slow down there cowboy what’s going on" and eren’s like "OK OK SO SO WE WERE WE WENT TO STARBUCKS Y’KNOW LIKE JUST, WE WENT TO GET SOME COFFEE EVEN THOUGUH ANNIE SAYS SHE DOESN’T LIKE COFFEE BUT I KNOW FOR A FACT SHE DOES LIKE IT TOO BUT THEN ONCE WE GOT THERE I REALIZED SHE DIDN’T WANT TO GO CAUSE BERT AND REINER WORK THERE AND THEY STARTED TEASING US BUT ESPECIALLY HER AND SHE STARTED BLUSHING AND THEN I WAS TRYING TO BE COOL, ARMIN I WAS TRYING SO HARD, BUT REINER MADE FUN OF ME AND I WAS LIKE REINER FUCK U AND THEN REINER STARTED LAUGHING SO HARD HE SPILLED HOT MILK ON HIMSELF AND THEN BERT STARTED FREAKING OUT AND LIKE SLAMMED REINER’S ARM INTO THE SINK AND PUT COLD WATER ON IT AND THEN ANNIE WAS TRYING TO HOLD HER LAUGHS IN BUT ARMIN SHE COULDN’T HELP IT SHE STARTED LAUGHING SO SO HARD AND SHE WAS REALLY CUTE ARMIN WHAT THE FUCK AND REINER WAS JUST SWEARING AND BERT WAS HYPERVENTILATING AND IT WAS SO DUMB BUT ANYWAS THEN I WAS I JUST IDK ARMIN I FELT LIKE AN IDIOT AND THEN SO ANNIE AND i JUST SAT DOWN AT A TABLE AND THEN THINGS CALMED DOWN AND THEN ANNIE WAS LIKE THEN ANNIE WAS ALL 'eren are we dating?' (and eren tries to do an annie impression here but it's REALLY BAD) AND I WAS LIKE 'UH WELL. YOU ASKED ME OUT UH. SO???' (yeah annie asked eren out CAUSE EREN DID ASK HER OUT BEFORE THAT BUT SHE SAID NO AND THEN ASKED HIM OUT HERSELF THE NEXT DAY CAUSE ANNIE'S LIKE THAT) and she's like 'i…don't really care but…is there some reason you. i mean it doesn't really matter but-' AND ARMIN, ARMIN, YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND. ANNIE STARTED. GETTING FLUSTERED AND ARMIN ANNIE NEVER DOES THAT (THAT’S A LIE. SHE DOES TOO GET FLUSTERED A LOT BUT SHE’S REALLY GOOD AT HIDING IT) SO I WAS LIKE. ANNIE WHAT’S UP AND SHE’S LIKE 'eren you. um. you're still you're…still listed as single on facebook?' (AND THIS IS THE WORST CAUSE ANNIE ACTUALLY SPENT LIKE. A WHOLE NIGHT JUST RELOADING EREN'S FACEBOOK PAGE TO SEE WHEN HE MIGHT UPDATE HIS RELATIONSHIP STATUS CAUSE SHE WAS WAY TOO EMBARRASSED TO ASK HIM LIKE SHE IS NOW AND SHE WAS HOPING HE'D JUST DO IT BUT HE FUCKING DIDN'T AND SHE WAS SO UPSET BUT SHE WAS TRYING TO NOT BE UPSET) and THEN ARMIN. I WAS. ARMIN I. AND I JUST. I DIDN'T KNOW HOW TO RESPOND AND I COULD HEAR BERT LAUGHING AGAIN AND ANNIE JUST BLUSHED HARDER AND SO I JUST. STARED AT HER RIGHT IN THE EYES AND SAID 'i”M AN ASSHOLE ANNIE' and annie was like HUH AND I TOOK MY PHONE OUT ARMIN AND I JUST WENT ON MY FACEBOOK APP AND CHANGED THE RELATIONSHIP TO IN A RELATIONSHIP WITH ANNIE AND THEN I TURNED THE PHONE AROUND AND SHOWED HER AND SHE STARTED BLUSHING EVEN HARDER AND SHE LOOKED AWAY AND I STARTED BLUSHING BECAUSE GOD DAMMIT AND REINER STARTED DOING HIS LOUD LAUGH THAT MADE LIKE THE OTHER 3 PEOPLE IN STARBUCKS LOOK AT HIM WEIRD AND ANNiE LIKE. DISCREETLY TOOK MY HAND (it wasn't discreet at ALL) and AND SHE. ARMIN SHE KISSED ME ON THE CHEEK AND I HAD TO TELL YOU ABOUT IT!!!!” and eren is breathing so so so hard at this point and armin's just standing there in his dumb pjs and he's like. "don’t tell me you just left annie at starbucks to come tell me this" and then eren like. freezes. and he’s like OH FUCK and he stands up but armin grabs his shoulder and is like "EREN YOU WILL PASS OUT IF YOU TRY AND RUN ALL THE WAY BACK TO STARBUCKS NOW" and eren’s like "I’M SURE THERE’S A CLOSER STARBUCKS I COULD RUN TO" and armin’s like "EREN ANNIE WOULDN’T BE IN A DIFF STARBUCKS SHE’S GOING TO BE IN THE SAME ONE YOU LEFT HER IN" AND EREN’S LIKE. "I HAVE TO TRY ARMIN" AND HE LIKE OPENS THE DOOR AND ANNIE’S STANDING THERE ABOUT TO RING THE DOORBELL AND THEN THERE’S THIS AWKWARD SILENCE WHERE EREN IS LIKE FROZEN MID RUN AND ANNIE IS JUST FROZEN AND THEY’RE BOTH SUPER RED IN THE FACE AND ARMIN’S HAIR IS ALL BEDHEAD AND THEN JUST and then just ANNIE’S LIKE "EREN I APolOGIZE FOR. DOING THAT." AND EREN IS LIKE "ANNIE WHAT?" AND SHE’S BLUSHING AND SHE LOOKS AWAY AND TAPS HER CHEEK WITH HER FINGER AND SHE’S LIKE "I"M SORRY FOR DOING THAT I THOUGHT IT WAS. WHAT…WOULD BE THE THING TO DO" and eren’s just. armin watches eren’s face like. go blank and then just. eren just. TAKES ANNIE’S FACE. and JUST. KISSES HER ON THE LIPS. HARD. EREN HAS NO IDEA HOW TO KISS AT ALL AND HE’S SUDDENLY JUST KISSING ANNIE FULL EREN FORCE and ANNIE STARTS LIKE. KISSING BACK AND THEN SHE LIKE. KIND OF LIKE. SUPLEXES THAT BOY LIKE. HE JUST. HITS THE GROUND AND THEY BOTH FREEZE AND ARMIN FREEZES BECAUSE WHAT THE FUCK. AND THEN ANNIE STANDS UP AND SHE’S LIKE. SHE JUST STANDS THERE BECAUSE SHE REALLY HADN’T MEANT TO DO THAT AT FUCKING ALL IT WAS JUST INSTINCT SHE HOPES HE ISN’T DEAD AND THEN EREN STANDS UP AND HE’S LIKE "damn" AND ANNIE IS LIKE "oh…woops?" and EREN IS LIKE ANNIE PLEASE but it’s fine cause eren just stands up and it’s no big deal and he asks annie to teach the movie to him and she’s like NO WAY but then she’s like yeah ok so he PUMPS HIS FIST AND HE’S LIKE. HELL YEAH AND THEN. AND THEN. ARMIN’S PHONE. RINGS AND HE. ANSWERS AND IT’S LIKE. MIKASA. AND SHE”S JUST BREATHING HEAVILY AND SHE’S LIKE "is he with you?" and ARMIN IS LIKE???? BUT MIKASA CAN HEAR EREN IN THE BACKGROUND AND THEN. LIKE. ONE MINUTE LATER. MIKASA IS THERE. AND ARMIN IS JUST. STANDING IN THE DOORWAY. AND EREN IS JUST. STANDING IN FRONT OF ANNIE ON HIS FRONT LAWN AND. MIKASA JUST. PUNCHES EREN IN THE FACE. AND EREN JUST. GOES DOWN. AND HE’S LIKE "MIKAS WHAT THE FUCK" AND MIKASA IS LIKE "EREN. YOU DIDN’T TELL ME YOU WERE DATING ANYONE. YOU LIED TO ME" and eren is like ???? AND THEN. MIKASA IS LIKE. "eren hAVE YOU BEEN KEEPING SAFE HAVE YOU BEEN USING PROTECTION EREN I WANT YOU HOME BY 7 EVERY NIGHT EREN HAVE YOU BEEN KISSING EREN YOU KNOW YOU CAN GET DISEASES FROM THAT EREN ARE YOU BEING A GENTLEMAN EREN ARE YOU-" and eren is like "MIKASAAAAA" and she’s like she turns to annie and she’s like "annie i don’t think eren is ready for a relationship i don’t think he can handle it i haven’t trained him yet he’s still a dumbass" and annie’s like "you can pass that responsibility onto me" and then. it’s like. oh shit. because now mikasa and annie are having like. a staredown moment and it’s so awkward and armin’s like oh fuck are they going to KILL EACH OTHER? and then HANJI WHISTLES. LIKE AND EVERYONE LOOKS AT HER. AND ARMIN ALMOST FALLS OVER CAUSE HE DIDN’T KNOW SHE WAS BEHIND HIM AND. SHE’S WEARING ONE OF LEVI"S SHIRTS BUT IT DOESN’T FIT HER AT ALL AND SHE’S JUST WEARING UNDERWEAR ON HER LOWER HALF AND ITS SO AWKWARD AND SHE’S LIKE "TEENS THESE DAYS ARE SO DRAMATIC" and EVERYONE SUDDENLY FEELS ASHAMED BECAUSE THIS STRANGE WOMAN JUST CALLED THEM OUT ON THEIR SHIT WHILE IN PINK UNDIES. SO THEN. EVERYONE GOES BACK INTO ARMIN’S HOUSE AND ARMIN"S LIKE "i’m…gonna get dressed" and he goes and brushes his hair and puts some cute clothes on and comes back downstairs and eren is sitting in between mikasa and annie and hanji is sitting on the chair and she has pants now and armin walks in and he sighs and he’s like "what the fuck is even going on" and eren is like "LIKE I SAID-" but then mikasa and annie both slap him and fix the bag of ice that was slipping off his head and then they look at each other and it’s so awkward and it’s like omfg. so armin is like. what is even happening. and everything is weird and as if. that. wasn’t bad enough. then. there is. another knock on the door. and armin’s like. WHAT NOW. WHAT COULD IT POSSIBLY BE NOW and then levi comes out of the kitchen and he’s like "i’ll get it" and eren is like "UNCLE LEVI!" and levi looks at him like. eren pls. and he goes and opens the door and. connie SMASHES INTO HIM. LIKE. SMASHSES FULL FORCE. AND IF LEVI WASN’T AS STRONG AS HE WAS. HE WOULD’VE JUST. FALLEN OVER AND CONNIE’S LIKE "HEY I’M BACK FROM THE COUNTRY WE"RE HERE TO TAKE u to…breakfast." and then he realizes that he’s not smashed into armin but into some strange short man. and connie’s like oh FUCK. and then armin hear’s JEAN’s voice and jean’s like "CONNIE WHAT DID I SAY" and he steps inside and levi is like. fuckin christ is this a toddler party or something, all these little kids are here. and jean like walks in and his eyes go wide cause he just sees armin standing there and behind him is mikasa eren and annie and hanji and hanji waves. and then he’s like "uh. hey" and armin face palms (HOW MANY TIMES HAS HE FACE PALMED IN LIKE THE PAST 3 DAYS PROBABLY TOO MANY TIMES) because what THE FUCK THIS IS LIKE SOME DUMB SITCOM THIS IS SO DUMB LIKE. HOW IS THIS EVEN POSSIBLE IS EVERYONE INSANE?? so then jean stops staring and just looks at his watch and he’s like ”ARMIN LET’S GO C’MON” and armin’s like, what? and eren stands up and he’s like "WAIT I DIDN’T FINISH MY STORY" and jean’s like "FINE YOU CAN COME TOO WHAT EVER WE JUST GOTTA GO NOW SO WE CAN BEAT THE TRAFFIC" and annie grabs eren’s hand and she’s like "Uh…" and then eren’s like. Oh SHIT. and hanji kind of, walks over to them and she takes eren’s old spot and throws her arms around annie’s and mikasa’s shoulders and she’s like "YOU BOYS GO HAVE FUN WE’RE GONNA HAVE A GIRL PARTY HERE" and eren is like god bless u hanji and annie and mikasa look SO UNCOMFORTABLE, especially annie because ANNIE DOESN’T KNOW WHO THIS WOMAN IS? so then eren, armin, connie and jean leave armin’s house and get into connie’s gross pickup truck and eren calls shotgun so armin and jean have to sit in the super cramped back but that’s ok. so all the way there connie has some INTENSE dubstep playing and eren is JAMMING THE FUCK OUT cause he doesn’t want to think about the whole annie mikasa thing because now mikasa is gonna be extra momish and he’s like, i don’t fuckin need that i just wanna kiss annie’s nose. so ANYWAYS, they show up at this cute breakfast place in this gross, muddy pickup truck with some dubstep blowing out the speakers and like, connie parks and they get out of the car and there’s this old dude just looking at them like “what the fuck is wrong with you” and connie turns around and looks at eren, jean and armin and he’s like. ignore that judgmental sack of OLD. and they’re like ok man. so anyways they get seated at some table and there are a few old people around them but otherwise it’s pretty nice and quiet. THE NICEST PART THOUGH, is that their table, is A BOOTH HELL YES. So armin takes the inside seat and jean sits next to him and then connie and eren sit across from them and SO. eren’s like "armin i can’t remember what i usually get." and armin’s like "eren are you kidding me?" and eren makes a dumb face and he’s like "MIKASA ALWAYS ORDERS FOR ME ARMIN I FORGOT WHAT I USUALLY GET" and armin’s like jesus christmas. and jean makes the UGLIEST face at eren and he’s like "wow eren if you can’t even order your own food how do you expect to even…TO.." and armin’s like "don’t hurt yourself jean" and jean makes like a bunch of noises that are supposed to be words but aren’t words and armin needs a quick conversation change so he looks at connie and smiles and he’s like "CONNIE how was the country?" and connie’s face gets all bright cause he’s connie and he’s like "OH GOSH IT WAS GREAT OK LIKE. WOWZA. so my uncle has like, 10 dogs and one of them was pregnant and I WATCHED HER GIVE BIRTH IT WAS SO GROSS BUT i got to bring oNE OF THE PUPPIES HOME I NAMED HIM SPRINGER!" and eren snorts and he’s like "your dog’s name is springer springer?" and connie’s like "yEAH MAN IT’S THE COOLEST THING" and so anyways connie keeps talking about his uncles ranch and how he milked cows and did a lot of shit like he even painted a shed and whatever and it was great and some older woman kept hitting on him but he was like no thanks. so while he’s talking they order their drinks and the waitress brings those over and connie’s like in the middle of some wild tale about how he ate some food when jean blows his straw wrapper at eren’s face. and EREN IS LIKE "JEAN WHAT THE FUCK" and armin is like "jean why." and jean is giggling like a 12 year old and he thinks he’s so cool so eren KICKS JEAN REALLY. REALLY HARD IN THE SHIN. and jean just. makes this horrible noise and armin shoots eren a look but eren just shrugs and connie is laughing his ass off and the waitress walks back over and she’s like "you guys ready to order?" and they are so then like, connie gets just, toast or something weird idk, he gets like toast and pancakes or something and then armin has to order for eren cause eren still can’t remember eXACTLY what he usually gets so armin’s like, eggs with ham and cheese and chocolate chip pancakes. and then jean is in pain cause his shin hurts but he also orders chocolate chip pancakes and then armin just like gets regular pancakes or something and so then the waitress leaves and they calm down a bit and it’s chill again. and then eren is like. "OH. SO. OK. SO. armin ok. so…so. what do you think i should do about mikasa?" and armin’s like "eren you really wanna talk about that now?" and jean and connie are like "OH WE DON’T MIND" and they’re like, so interested cause they fucking love gossip like connie and jean (and also reiner) used to gossip together ALL THE TIME to the point where like marco wouldn’t even sit with them anymore becuase it was fucking ridiculous. so eren takes that as his cue to continue and he’s like "how am i supposed to go on a date with annie if mikasa is like, totally gonna follow us?" and armin sighs and he’s like "well eren, it’s MIKASA, of course she’s gonna do that because she’s worried and she CARES but she’ll get over it eventually, you’ll just have to wait it out." and eren groans because UGH he doesn’t WANT to DEAL with this. SO WHATEVER OK, then connie starts talking about his puppy again and armin feels a hand on his thigh and he stiffens up and immediately looks at eren and connie but they’re like, super invested in their conversation about dogs. and then armin like, doesn’t move as he feels jean’s hand trailing up his thigh and then back down to his knee and armin eyes jean but jean isn’t even looking at him, he just has his head in his hand and a little smirk on his lips so armin is like, oh you piece of shit. so then he quietly scoots a little closer and means to put his hand on jean’s thigh too but MISS CALCULATES AND. PUTS HIS HAND, ON JEANS CROTCH LIKE. HE LIKE. GRABS AND SQUEEZES LIKE. OMFG. HE THOUGHT IT WAS HIS THIGH HE REALLY DID HE WAS TRYING TO BE COOL DAMMIT and JEAN MAKES THIS NOISE. JEAN MAKES. THIS HIGH PITCHED NOISE AND ARMIN IMMEDIATELY PULLS AWAY AND CONNIE AND EREN LOOK OVER LIKE, and eren is like "jean…you ok?" and jean’s face is FLUSHED so red and armin is fighting down his own blush cause DAMMIT and connie is like "jean you got the runs?" and jean is like "NO DAMMIT JUST IGNORE IT I’M FINE" and his voice sounds strained and…armin KNOWS HE SHOULD FEEL BAD ABOUT THIS CAUSE HE JUST SQUEEZED HIS BOYTOY’S DICKIE IN A PUBLIC PLACE BUT…>BUT!!!! THAT’S. BUt LIKE. OK. ok like. he KNOWS he should feel bad but at the same time he can’t help but feel a little smug cause he made jean make that noise and…that was a nice noise. at least to armin it was. so now jean kind of has his hands awkwardly planted on the table cause he just doesn’t really know what he’s supposed to do cause he actually isn’t quite clear are what armin’s game is here was that supposed to be some kind of punishment? did he not want jean touching his leg? DID HE…WANT MORE? DID ARMIN WANT TO…PUBLICALLY DO THINGS? and SO NOW JEAN IS, freaking out cause he doesn’t really know what armin wants at all and armin like, is just sitting there trying not to laugh cause he FEELS LIKE A TERRIBLE PERSON BUT JEAN LOOKS SO FUNNY WHEN HE’S THINKING SO HARD LIKE THAT so armin decides to attempt to join eren and connie’s discussion, which has now switched to girls and what features they like best about them cause you know that’s what boys probably talk about at breakfast??? so eren is like "i like girls who’re strong as fuck" and connie laughs and he’s like "you mean u like it when girls beat you up" and eren is like "NO U DUMB STOP??" and armin is like "i like legs." and as he says it he starts running his hand up jean’s leg like jean had been doing to him before and this time armin actually grabs his leg and DOESN’T fuck it up royally. and eren is like "armin you’re gay you don’t count" and armin’s like "just cause i’m gay doesn’t mean there aren’t still features about girls that i think are attractive features to have" and connies like "he’s got a point dude i mean, i’m not about to bang a guy but i gotta say that if i WERE to bang a guy i’d totally do reiner. he’s got those nice muscles like, you know he’d keep you safe." and eren gags but doesn’t fucking DISAGREE cause everyone knows it’s fucking tru. so then armin continues like "i like long legs" and he like, accents his words by dragging his fingers up and down jean’s leg and he FEELS SO SMUG CAUSE JEAN HASN’T SAID A WORD AND HE’S PRETTY SURE JEAN HAS STOPPED BREATHING LIKE. HE FEELS ALMOST LIKE HE STOLE JEAN’S IDEA CAUSE JEAN STARTED THIS BUT. FUCK IT HE WAS GONNA LIVE HIS GODDAMN LIFE. "long, strong legs, that lead up to a strong torso with defined abs…and-" and eren starts gagging again and he’s like "PLEASE DON’T TELL ME YOU’RE TALKING ABOUT MIKASA" and armin laughs because omfg eren you couldn’t be more wrong "i wasn’t…but that’s not to say mikasa wouldn’t fit the description" and like he waggles his eyebrows at eren and eren is like GROSS MAN GROSS EUGH and connie is just kind of like "eren your sister is kind of hot though…i mean. we alll here can agree mikasa is hot, right jean?" and armin notices that jean’s knuckles are like, white from him gripping them so tightly and he’s breathing in like, tiny little breaths you know how that goes. and jean’s just like “HUH?” and connie is like “do you think mikasa’s HOT. I KNOW YOU DO?” and then jean is like “WHAT?” cause he’s just so out of it and connie is like “DO YOU THINK MIKASA IS HOT?” and he says it so loud that like the old people at the neighboring table look at them funny and armin takes that moment to like. dig his nails (NOT PAINFULLY THOUGH) in the meat of jean’s thigh that’s close to his dickstick BUT IS NOT AT THE STICK YET Just close to the stick like. the little cavern of not dick that is between your legs in ur crotch area ya feel me? and jean goes “FUUUUUCK ARM-“ and he ALMOST SAYS ARMIN’S NAME BUT HE COVERS IT UP LIKE “S ARMS ARMS I LOVE MIKASA’S ARMS. FUCK YES. I LOVE HER ARMS. MIKASA IS REALLY HOT LIKE WOAH MAN. IS HEAVEN MISSING AN ANGEL CAUSE???” and connie and eren are like omfg jean what the fuck. and armin is trying SO hard not to laugh and then he sees the waitress coming back over so he quickly and quietly lets go of jean’s leg and jean like. inhales this huge breath but JUST SO HAPPENS TO DO IT. RIGHT WHEN THE WAITRESS IS LIKE. STANDING RIGHT THERE so he inhales her perfume (she just like. redosed her perfume like. cause she thinks eren’s hot but shh don’t tell him that girl he already has a GIRLFRIEND) but anyways so then jean has this manic coughing fit that’s like. unreal. and armin starts rubbing his back and eren and connie are like what the fuck is wrong with this dude. cause jean got even WEIRDER over summer like. he didn’t used to be THAT weird did he? maybe armin’s to blame who knows. OK SO THEn jean calms the fuck down and everyone calms down and they start eating and talking with their mouth’s full (except armin. armin is chewing his food before talking cause he’s a civilized human being thank u very much) and they start talking about hot wheels cause that’s what boys talk about and then connie tries to talk about tonka trucks but eren is like FUCK YOU CONNIE WE’RE TALKING ABOUT HOT WHEELS and jean is like YEAH MAN WHAT THE FUCK and connie is like I’M SORRY. and then they start talking about how bad drugs are for your health cause I’m also positive that that is another topic boys often talk about. so they’re eating all their food and it’s so good and jean gets chocolate on his face so armin just swipes his thumb over it and tastes it and JEAN BLUSHES SO HARD AND LOOKS AWAY REALLY FAST BECAUSE ARMIN WHAT THE FUCK and eren is rolling his eyes because wow that was gay. and then armin steals some of jean’s pancakes cause they’re good. SO ANYWAS. THEN jean suddenly just. finishes his food and then he’s like. “armin could you show me where the bathroom is” and armin’s like. “jean it’s…right there. right behind us? like. you can see it from here?” and jean is like. “armin I need you to show me. I don’t see it.” and eren is like “jean…it’s right there I’m pointing at it.” and jean is like “ARMIN PLEASE SHOW ME WHERE THE GODDAMN BATHROOM IS” and armin’s like “WHAT THE HECK OK? MOVE THEN! I CAN’T GET OUT OF THE BOOTH UNTIL YOU MOVE” and jean gets up and eren is about to ask what the heckie is going on right now but then connie gets a text from an unknown number (which turns out to be hanji. she got his number from mikasa’s phone) and so then connie is like. OMF WHO COULD IT BE. and eren’s like. WOAHHhhhh. and so while they’re distracted jean grabs armin’s arm and tries to drag him to the bathroom but armin’s like um what the fuck? so he like pulls away and jean tries to give him ~the look~ but ends up smacking into the wall to the hallway that leads to the bathroom and he’s like “FUCKING HELL” and armin is like. shit. and he takes the few steps over to jean and jean’s nose is fucking bleeding and armin’s like. JESUS CHRIST. so armin looks at eren and they make eye contact and he points at jean and eren sees his bloody nose and he starts laughing because OH MY GOD HOW MANY TIMES HAS THIS KID’S NOSE BLED. so anyways jean is like tilting his head back and armin leads him into the one person bathroom and like closes the door and whatever and gets some tissues and jean sits down on the toilet (the lid is closed ok it’s fine) and armin starts wiping at his nose and like, hands him more tissues and starts chuckling and jean’s like “what’s so funny?” and armin’s just like “I dunno I just think it’s funny that some couples go through their entire lives together and never have to wipe up one another’s bloody noses but like in this past month I’ve already wiped your bloody nose like…4 times is it now? is this the 4th time?” (the first was when eren punched him, the second was when he challenged armin to a race and his shoe laces were untied and he fell like, flat on his fucking face, and then the third was when he was laughing so hard he accidentally kneed himself in the face) and jean groans and he’s like “I just have a sensitive nose armin, some people would consider that a good thing.” and armin laughs again and his expression softens and jean looks elsewhere cause his boyfriend is so cute he’s getting a serious heart boner here. and armin’s like

“don’t act so offended, gosh you’re such a baby sometimes.” “what? NO WAY. I’M THE BABY? no fucking way I’m not a goddamn baby, you’re a baby.” “don’t even start this conversation I will run you into the ground with my grown up knowledge of things and I won’t wipe up your stupid bloody nose after I do it.” and jean scoffs because jesus Christ armin is so LAME. so then jean’s nose seems to have calmed down and armin washes his hands and he’s about to turn around to be like, “you ready to go?” but he’s suddenly being pushed into the wall and he lets out a surprised weird noise and jean’s face is now in his space and he’s like. um. ok? and armin’s about to be all like yo wassup man but tHEN SUDDENLY JUST. JEAN IS JUST LIKE KISSING ARMIN LIKE. REALLY INTENSE LIKE. HELLO THERE FRIEND LIKE WOAH THERE. and armin is like. *muffled noises of surprise!* and jean is like kissing him with PASSION MAN (I need new words to describe intense kissing what whatever) and armin is like. this is a bathroom but I’m gonna kiss him back anyways? so he DO. he kisses him back and. damn then it just gets steamy like. they’re in a bathroom right but it has the sink right like, don’t forget about that sink it’ll show up in about like 2 seconds ok. so armin and jean are kissing and jean pulls away and he’s like “I’ve been meaning to ask…” and armin is like *heavy breathing* “yeah?” and then jean just SHOVES his knee between armin’s legs (but by shoves I mean like the sexy shove not the bad one) and he’s like “is this the leg you wanted? you sure were touching it an awful lot before” and armin laughs but his laugh is breathless and he’s like “was that supposed to be sexy” and just as he tries to finish his sentence jean shoves his leg more forcefully and armin has to cover his mouth cause he makes a noise and he’s gonna make more if he don’t shut the fuck up. and that’s when he remembers where they are and he suddenly gets like. a tiny bit of panic but then he’s like. no it’s ok it’s ok who gives a fuck I’m gonna live my life cause jean isn’t thinking about the consequences he’s just doing it so I’m GONNA DO IT TOO so he just shoves his face into jean’s collar bone and jean’s like, smelling armin’s hair or something and he’s like “was that sexy enough for you?” and armin’s like “jean I don’t think the dirty talk works for us” and then jean pushes him more into the wall and he’s like “you only say that cause you’re scared I’m gonna say something super hot next and you’re just gonna blow ur load in ur pants” and armin snorts again because jean sucks at this and armin’s like “no jean like. dirty talk just. it. we’re not. I mean….it doesn’t…you’re doing it wrong, sorry I know you’re trying and I really appreciate it a lot but…you’re uh…not…KILLING the mood per say but? More, uh, damaging the mood! Yes.” and jean pulls away from armin to look at him like and he’s like “alright armin sensei why don’t you fucking give me an example of good dirty talk then huh?” and he starts kissing armin’s neck a bit and armin’s like awww yeaah. so now armin feels like an idiot because he has no idea what he’s supposed to say he just knows jean was not saying the right thing either and now he’s like, fuck I shouldn’t have said anything? should I make a joke? will he take me serious? so then armin finally decides on going with a joke because jean’s a (kind of) funny guy and armin would much prefer a laugh over seriously fucking something up and then jean using that against him forever and ever. so he just. whispers like. in his best porno voice like “C-cock?” like. that’s all he says. LIKE. ThAT’S IT. AND JEAN STOPS. LIKE. JEAN JUST. FREEZES AND ARMIN IS LIKE. ARMIN CAN FEEL HIS FACE HEATING UP BECAUSE WHY THE FUCK DID HE EVEN FUCKING SAY THAT THAT WAS TERRIBLE OMG. and then jean just. starts LAUGHING SO HARD. LIKE. JEAN IS LAUGHING SO HARD AND JEAN JUST YELLS “COCK!” and armin is trying not to laugh because this is DUMB but he starts LAUGHING AND LIKE. DOES EVERY MAKEOUT SESSION HAVE TO STOP BECAUSE THEY START LAUGHING???? THIS SUCKS BUT ALSO HE can’t stop the giggles they attacking him. so he starts laughing and like. just goes “CoCK!” again and then jean yells cock and they’re both in fucking hysterics on a bathroom floor like seriously what the fuck is wrong with them and jean has to sit on the ground and this is gross because this is a gross bathroom floor but it’s actually a pretty nice bathroom anyways but that’s not the point ok but whatever so then there’s a bang on the door and it startles jean so he hits his head on the sink and he’s like “FUCK OWW GODDAMN IT” and armin goes “SORRY!” but he doesn’t know why??? he just. and then he’s like “I mean wait. i. idk. what????” and then there’s another bang and armin’s just like “uuhh UH OCCUPIED???” and then eren is like “ARMIN IT’S ME OPEN THE DOOR” and armin’s like. WHAT THE FUCK? so he opens the door and eren and connie like. FALL in and they slam the door behind them and they’re breathing really hard. and armin is like. uhhh. and connie looks at jean. who’s on the ground, and his clothes are all ruffled and his cheeks are still red and armin’s clothes are ruffled and his cheeks are red and connie starts smiling. and he’s like “no way. you guys are NASTY” and armin is like “WHAT?? WE DIDN’T. WHAT?” and connie makes that “you like crabby patties don’t u squidward” face at jean and he’s like “Y’all were planning a little dick together. See it’s like, get together but I said dick instead cause you would be having a get together for your dicks in the sexual sense ya feel?” and then eren’s like “woah wait WHAT?” and armin’s like “NO. no. no. what? no? NO. NoNO. Jean’s nose was bleeding so I just helped him clean it up connie jesus Christ!” and connie then looks at armin and gets all up in his face and he’s like “yeah right. I know what it smells like when animals are in heat” and then everyone in the room just. looks at connie because. connie….connie PLS. but then armin is like “WHAT. WHAT ARE YOU EVEN DOING IN HERE ANYWAYS I CLEARLY SAID OCCUPIED!” and eren is like “WE HAVE TO LEAVE NOW” and jean finally stands up and he’s rubbing the back of his head and he’s like “what? WHY?” and eren’s like “mY MOM IS HERE” and jean is like “Carla’s here?” and eren is like “DON’T. CALL MY MOM BY HER FIRST NAME THAT’S. FUCKING WEIRD.” “Carla is a beautiful woman I prefer to not remind myself she’s related to you…” and eren is like “FUCK YOU.” and connie is like “I wanna call her Carla too” and eren is like. “ NO ONE IS CALLING HER CARLA.” and then armin is like “So why is it such a big deal that Carla’s here?” and Eren is like. UGH and he’s like “BECAUSE. MIKASA TOLD HER I WAS DATING ANNIE BEFORE SHE CAME TO BEAT ME UP” and then everyone is like…ok?? and erne is like “I”VE NEVER DATED ANYONE BEFORE?” and they’re all still like…ok??? and then eren is like “MY MOM DOESN’T WANT ME DATING UNTIL I’M 20? SHE DOESn”T THINK I CAN HANDLE IT.” and everyone in the room groans and jean is like “Carla…such a beautiful woman, such a loving person, but such a strict mother. What a tragedy.” and anyways so now they’re all just. standing in the bathroom. the ONE person bathroom. and… armin’s like “Did you pay the bill? Leave a tip?” and eren’s like “Yeah.” so then armin’s like “Ok well we just have to get out and get passed Carla then right? That’s not too hard. I’m assuming Mr. Jaeger is with her too right?—” “SO YOU CALL MY MOM CARLA BUT YOU CALL MY DAD MR. JAEGER?? REALLLY?? THAT’S FUCKING WEIRD CAN’T YOU GUYS JUST CALL HER MS. J???” so then connie’s like “Ms. Yay would be better cause like, pronounciation wise right?” but eren just looks at him like really connie are you kidding me. so then armin just continues like “—As I was saying…so under the assumption Carla is out to breakfast with her husband, we simply just have to sneak passed them. I’m sure we can find a route…anyone have a map?” “armin jesus Christ no. let’s all just switch clothes.” and everyone looks at jean like. jean what. and jean continues like “well like. we’ll…be less noticeable…if. wait. nevermind idk what im talking about. fuck this is dumb let’s just go.” and armin is like. “I like that plan let’s go with that” and connie is like “but don’t mom’s have special senses? MINE DOES LIKE. she knows where my lost things are or she knows when I’m not doing the stuff I’m supposed to like. she knows that stuff and it’s weird so like. won’t Carla know what’s up?” but armin already has his hands on the doorknob and he’s opening it. and some dude is standing there about to knock and it’s really awkward because honestly like what the fuck would you think if you were about to knock on a bathroom door and then four teenage boys walked out instead and all looked out of breath like. how fucking weird would that be? Armin tries to smile at the guy like, you know like, to give him an apologetic smile but it accidentally apparently comes off as flirty according to how jean frowns and punches armin in the shoulder and armin’s like OW. So anyways they try and nonchalantly walk past their table and into the hall that leads to the front hall that leads to the exit right? so like. I should draw a diagram of this to make it make more sense (NOTE TO SELF PLS DRAW DIAGRAM TOMORROW) (note to world. I did not draw the diagram. it’s not happening. I’m sorry.) and armin tries to look over and see if he can sneak a glance at eren’s ma to see what she’s doing but he sees the table first and. there IS NO TIP THERE? and armin is like. JESUS CHRIST. and he’s like “(EREN DIDN’T YOU SAY YOU LEFT A TIP??)” and eren is like “(HURRY WE GOTTA GET PAST HER SHE CAN’T SEE ME)” so armin like. just. takes like. 6 dollars or something and throws it on the table because eren obviously did NOT leave a tip and eren is a LIAR. so everyone is in the clear except for armin who’s still standing by the table and he takes the chance to look at eren’s mom and then he just. he can’t believe it. he’s staring for like. a minute and eren is like “(ARMIN C’MON)” and armin turns and looks at eren and his face is just. armin’s like. armin stops SNEAKING and just stomps over to where jean, eren and connie are and he’s like “Eren…that. is not. your mom.” and he’s so MAD cause they interrupted his makeout for this. THAT’S LIKE THE 2nd TIME EREN HAS COCK BLOCKED ARMIN AND ARMIN’S LIKE EREN PLS. and eren makes this dumb face and looks around the little wall they’re safely standing behind and he sees the woman sitting and he’s like “oh…woops.” BECAUSE IT’S NOT HIS MOM AT ALL AND ARMIN FEELS SO FUCKING DUMB THIS WAS SO DUMB AND JEAN IS LIKE EREN ARE YOU FOR REAL AND CONNIE STARTS LAUGHING SO HARD SO THEY All JUST LEAVE AND ARMIN IS SO MAD OMFG AND EREN IS LIKE ARMIN I’M SORRY I REALLY THOUGHT IT WAS HER AND ARMIN’S LIKE EREN OMFG YOU NEED TO PAY MORE ATTENTION AND EREN’S LIKE “ARMIN I’M SORRY DON’T DRoP THAT-“ and he STOPS and they’re at the car and armin stops and jean and connie look kind of confused because what the fuck why did they just stop midstep and they look at eren and armin and are like. uh let’s get in the car? but then armin whispers like “durkadurk” and then eren is like “don’t drop that” and they’re both like “DURKAdURK AYEEE DON”T DROP THAT DURKADURK-“ and then connie is like let’s get in da truck der bois. and everyone gets in the car and jean sits in the front this time and armin and eren are laughing together and are best friends again because that’s how they avoid pointless fights and shit like fucking vines jesus Christ. (and I mean like meanwhile, annie, hanji, levi and mikasa are like, sitting in silence just sipping water and then finally at some point annie and mikasa come to some agreement or something and are now friends idk it’s all good now) fuck it whatever we’re time skipping cause this thing is long enough already and most of all this stuff doesn’t matter I just wanted to type it out alright. BAABBABAAAAABAOOOoooooooOM alright. so heyo guess what guess what it’s like 4 days before the wedding? what the fuck???? I know it’s crazy but it’s true. so anyways, armin and jean are walking through some furniture store or something and armin is trying to help jean find a wedding present and jean’s like “Why can’t I just get them something that’s a surprise?” and armin groans and he’s like “Jean I told you like 8 times, you can do that if you want but they won’t be happy! They’re starting a new life together you should really get them something they asked for on their list! A wedding present is about showing that you care but it’s also about helping a couple prepare for their future together!” “Yeah but. Why do they want RED plates why not BLUE.” and armin sighs and he’s like “Jean if you don’t care about it that much why did you make me come along?” and then jean makes this pouty face and he scratches the back of his head and he’s like “does that mean you didn’t want to come?” and then armin is surprised cause he didn’t really think that what he’d just said would hurt jean’s feelings but jean sounds like he’s just so HURT that armin’s like. woah there. so armin’s all “jean don’t be silly I love spending time with you, you KNOW I do. But I’d rather spend my time with you maybe…NOT in a furniture store? They’re always so loud and crowded with expensive furniter and strange dishes and things it’s weird” and then jean smiles and he’s like “you’ve obviously never had fun in a furniture store huh?” and armin’s like “excuse me? what?” and then jean takes armin’s hand and he’s like “armin. I’m about to teach you how to live” AND THEN CUT TO LIKE. SOME DUMB 80s MONTAGE OF THEM RUNNING AROUND IKEA OR SOME SHIT IDK WHERE THEY EVEN ARE LIKE AT FIRST I WAS THINKING CRATE AND BARREL BUT IDK IF THEY HAVE LIKE. GOOD FURNITURE SETUPS OR SOMETHINGWHATER OK THEY’RE LIKE. LIKE IF YOU’VE SEEN 500 DAYS OF SUMMER THAT’S THE THING THEY’RE DOING. WHERE THEY GO AND PRENTEND THEY’RE MARRIED AND LIVING IN ONE OF THE FURNITURE SETS IDK IF THIS MAKES SENSE AT ALL BUT THAT’S WHAT’S GOING DOWN AND IT’S SUPER GAY AND CUTE AND HAPPPY AND THEN THEY GET ASKED TO LEAVE THE STORE BECAUSE THEY’RE CAUSING A DISTURBINCE. so anyways now they’re outside right and they’re laughing so hard because that was so DUMB and they got fucking kicked out of IKEA for fucks sake like that takes some skill and they just feel so cool and radical and so they go to jean’s dumb car (??? I think he would have one???? probably??? well idk if I said he didn’t have one before or something I don’t think I ddi but whatever cause he has one now) and like. armin lays his seat all the way back and jean climbs on top of him and they start making out in his car and it gets all hot and whatever (but actually they aren’t even making out that intensely like it’s more like. kissu kissu giggle time) but it’s still steamy like how in the titanic they have sex in the car and the windows smoke up and then there’s the handprint but they don’t do the handprint thing or anything and like the windows don’t fog up either AND THERE iS NO SEX JUST THE KISSINGS but that was just to describe the passion ANYWAYS ok. ok. and then idk they go for ice cream or something and it’s gay and fun ok whatever so then they had a great day and thye go back to armin’s house and makeout some more and they’re kissing on armin’s bed (they hang out at armin’s house a lot cause his grandpap is either out with babes or sleeping usually so they’ve basically got the house to themselves like. they’ve been to jean’s house a couple times but his mom always purposefully inturupts them to make fun of jean or something like that) and then they’re like, taking a breath and armin’s suddenly like “jean. have you ever thought about…intercourse?” and if jean had been drinking water he would have comically spit it all over the place and he’s like “UM LIKE. INTERCOURSE LIKE…SEX UM. WELL YEAH I’VE THOUGHT ABOUT IT. AS A SUBJECT I MEAN. WE HAD TO TAKE SEX ED SO I WOULD HAVE FAILED IF I HADN’T THOUGHT A-ABOUT IT RIGHT????” and armin is like “no I mean…s-sex personally….for yourself.” “um. uh. i. I guess? I mean I think? UNLESS you mean having sex with myself because then I’ve only thought about it once??? but like it waS LIKE A WEIRD DREAM LIKE. IT WASN’T LIKE. I’M. NOT GOING TO. I MEAN LIKE I HAVEn”T. I Don’T WANT TO. HAVE MY. OWN. DICK IN MY ASS REalLY UM. LIKE-” and armin’s makes a frustrated noise and he’s like “NO i. SEX WITH. ME. WITH US. SEX WITH US. SEX. HAVE YOU. THOGUHT ABOUT US AS IN. YOU aND ME. DOING THE DO? WE’VE NEVER TALKED ABOUT SEX WITH EACH OTHER SO I-I’M CURIOUS IS ALL.” and then jean just. freezes and he’s like “oh…” and then it’s really awkward and armin really REALLY regrets saying anything because that was dumb BECAUSE it’s not like they’ve even been dating for THAT long how could he bring that up? Like armin just. armin wants…more but not like. like IF JEAN DOESN”T WANT THAT. ARMIN IS FINE WITH THAT BUT. IF JEAN WANTS THAT AND ARMIN ALSO DOES THEN HE’S LIKE WHY ARE WE NOT DOING THE SEX???? but anyways so then jean kind of sits back on his haunches (is that even the right word idk) and then he’s like. “um…” and he kind of flops back and leans his back against armin’s wall he’s got his legs spread out and armin kind of scoots over to the other wall by his pillow and curls up by that (LIKE. HIS BED IS IN A CORNER. SO. THERE’S THE LONGER WALL AND THEN THE WALL, WHERE THE PILLOW GOES. LIKE. I HOPE THAT MAKES SENSE) and like he’s got his knees to his chest and he’s all curled up and he rests his cheek on his knee and turns his head to jean but looks away at the floor and sighs and he’s like “I’m sorry I know I shouldn’t have brought it up I hope I didn’t make you incredibly uncomfortable or something like that I really didn’t mean to weird you out I just thought it would be a good idea to b-bring it up maybe? I know I could have done it with so much more tact and such, but…it’s um, not an easy thing to say really? BUT WOW, maybe it’s hard to say because I probably shouldn’t have said it maybe that’s why it was hard to say haha? I’m sorry if you’re mad we don’t have to talk about this anymore ever again wow if you don’t want to we can like pretend it never even happened and-“ and armin doesn’t even realize he’s like, he’s gasping for air cause he didn’t really take any pauses while talking and he’s kind of panicking a bit here because yo kissing was one thing but he’s asking if jean’s thought about this and that probably implies he’s thought about this and HE HAS. SO NOW HE’S LIKE. HE”S FREAKING OUT CAUSE WAS IT TOO WEIRD TO SAY THAT???? and jean is running his hands nervously through his hair while watching armin like, have breathing problems and a panic attack and then jean’s just like “I’m. not….i. yeah I’ve thought about it…a lot.” and then suddenly armin feels a lot better because he thought jean would’ve thought about it because it’s kind of hard not to…think about things? AT LEAST FOR HIM but he KNOWS jean and jean would be the type to think about it but it just. armin can’t help but feel relieved at hearing his boy say that. “I just. I mean. I like kissing you, no I mean I LOVE kissing you so…that’s ok with me too but uh. I mean. I don’t want to push you into anything you’re…not um. I didn’t even. know how to… you know like bring it up and uh. I MEAN. I. JUST. IT’S WEIRD BECAUSE. ARMIN USUALLY I. DON”T THINK ABOUT THINGS YOU KNOW. I’M. I. TRUST MYELF IN A LOT OF THINGS BUT. NOT. I Don’T KNOW I. THIS IS. WEIRD I. URHG I’VE THOUGHT ABOUT IT A LOT I THINK ABOUT IT A LOT ARMIN.” and this convo is getting so emotionally deep over here and armin is like “m-me too!!!! like. every other night honestly. jean I don’t think you realize how often you just. TAKE OVER my thoughts it’s incredible! Some nights I just…can’t stop thinking about you…not for a second it’s…I mean especially recently I haven’t even been able to concentrate on anything that doesn’t have to do with you or thoughts of you and….” and jean’s like “NO NO NO SAME I’VE BEEN. TRYING TO NOT THINK ABOUT IT BECAUSE I DIDN’T WANT TO LIKE. GET MYSELF ALL WORKED UP ABOUT SOMETHING AND THEN PRESSURE YOU BY ACCIDENT BECAUSE.. I DIDN’T WANT TO EXPECT SOMETHING THAT MIGHT NEVER HAPPEN BUT I’VE JUST. I WAS TRYING TO CONVINCE MYSELF IT’D NEVER HAPPEN OR THAT WE’D BREAK UP BEFORE IT COULD HAPPEN OR SOMETHING BUT EVEN I DIDN’T FUCKING BELIEVE THAT BECAUSE I DON’T WANT TO BREAK UP WITH YOU AT ALL AND I REALLY REALLY REALLY REALLY REALLY LIKE YOU SO MUCH ARMIN I RealLY DO AND I’VE BEEN THINKING ABOUT YOU. SO FUCKING MUCH LATELY AND MORE THAN…JUST. I’VE BEEN THINKING ABOUT THINGS WE. UH. HAVEN’T DONE YET. SO. I UH. HAHA.” and so basically they’re these two dumb teen boys sitting on a dumb bed with a baby blue bedspread in a room that still has glow-in-the-dark stars on the ceiling. and they’re both blushing about how they’ve thought about each other naked and are having a conversation about it and how they aren’t opposed to the idea of sexy sex and they’re. sitting like. basically. right next to each other??? and not kissing??? it’s like. what are you doing. so jean like, wipes his sweaty palms on his knees and armin lifts his head and puts his hands up to his own cheeks and just kind of slaps his face because he can’t believe this is real and jean is like, nervously looking at everything that isn’t armin and armin is still awkwardly curled up and neither of them know what to do because they’ve just had this talk but…what…now? so then armin mumbles something and jean’s like “hah what?” and armin looks right at jean and he’s got a little pouty face (he doesn’t realize it’s as cute as it is cause armin doesn’t know how kawaii he is) and he’s like “I was the one that asked you out the least you could…could DO is…TAKE SOME initiative and, you know, KISS ME after a talk like this??” and jean makes this like. APPAULED face and he’s like “I TOLD YOU I LIKED YOU FIRST THOUGH” and armin’s like “YOU DIDN’T CONFIRM WHICH LIKE IT WAS THOUGH SO IT DOESN’T COUNT?” and JEAN LIKE. SITS UP ON HIS KNEES AND HE’S like “WHAT THE FUCK NO WAY IT TOTALLY COUNTS. I TOUCHED YOUR LEG FIRST AT THAT BREAKFAST PLACE TOO!” and armin sits up on HIS knees and they’re awkwardly like, arguging about this while sitting up on their knees on armin’s bed and armin’s like

“I WAS THE ONE THAT SQUEEZED YOUR CROTCH!” “I’VE INITIATED LIKE 4 MAKEOUT SESSIONS ALREADY!” “YOU ONLY DID IT AFTER I LIKE. TOLD YOU TO OR. HINTED AT IT OR SOMETHING.” and jean makes this ugly face and he’s like “THIS IS FUCKING RIDICULOUS. I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU’RE TELLING ME THAT YOU’VE ADVANCED OUR ~**~SEXUAL~**~ RELATIONSHIP MORE THAN I HAVE! YOU’VE GOT TO BE FUCKING WITH ME HERE!” and armin’s like “I’d love to be fucking with you.” and then there is just. a stunned silence like. jean is like ‘HOLY SHIT???’ and armin’s like ‘DID I. REALY JUST SAY THAT???’ “I-“ and THEN THERE IT IS. THERE IT IS I CANT BELIEVE IT THERE IS THE LOUD BURST OF “Wobbledy wobble, wo-wo-wobble, wobbin’ Ass so fat, all these bitches’ pussies is throbbin’ Bad bitches, I’m your leader, Phantom by the meter Somebody point me to the best ass-eater Tell ‘im “Pussy clean!” I tell them “Pussy squeaky!” which is jean’s ringtone and he just checks it like, his plan was to just look at it really fast and then like kiss armin to death but like. he sees it’s. his. MOM AND HE’S LIKE. oh fUCK. and armin’s face kind of. falls cause he was ready to get freaky but now it’s not freaky time no more. anD jean LOOKS AT ARMIN AND. JEAN MAKES THE. SADDEST FACE ARMIN’S EVER SEEN AND HE’S LIKE. “I GOTTA GO I’M SORrY” and armin’s like. it’s k. and then as jean’s leaving armin’s house like armin can hear him answering his phone and he’s like “MOM SERIOUSLY WHAT. OH REALLY? GREAT JUST. FANTASTIC. NO I WILL NOT STOP USING THIS TONE WITH YOU JESUS CHRIST-“ and armin hear’s the front door slam and he’s like. how many fucking times can two teens get interrupted when they’re just trying to do sexy things? like. does the world not want them to do sexy things or something like what the fuck is this? so now armin and his dick are sad and he’s mad because jean was very attractive today as he is everyday but especially today and armin just wants to lick his arms and neck or something? like armin don’t even know what he wants he just wants the boy but the boy keep leavin. but ARMIN Is. VERY. hORNY KIND OF. LIKE??? HE. WANTS THE SEX. BUT THE SEX NOT HERE FOR HIM TO HAVE. AND HIS BOY IS GONE AND HE. JUST BUILT UP A LOT OF FUCKING COURAGE AND NOW HE’S LIKE…WHAT. THE FUCK??? and so he sits and thinks for a while cause he doesn’t know what else to do and he’s like this is so so so dumb and then he gets a text right? yes. a text. and he looks at his phone and. there it is. Jean: what r u wearing??? ;) and armin laughs because he knows jean is trying to like. make the interruption less painful or something like. whatever idk. he likes jean a lot. Armin: You’re not driving and texting are you? Cause if you are just text me when you get home… Armin: And I’m wearing the same thing I was when you left. Jean: coola ur jets hotshota im’ at a store waitin in line Jean: *HOTSHOT *HOTSHOT *SHOT SHOT SHOT NOT SHOTA I’m SOOSORY FUCKING HELAEE Armin: What’d your mom call you for? Jean: UGH, She was all ealike “JeAN U BEEN OUT ALL FUCKIN DAY BEIN GAY WITH UR BF COME HOME NAD FEED THA DAMN DOG” and I’m LIKE, FUCKING HELL FEED THE DODG YOURERELSEF??? AND SHE’s LIKE “WE HAVE NO MORE DGO FOODA GO BUY IT” AND Im SO FUCKING PISSED Off” Armin: omg seriously? I’m sorry that’s actually fucking lame. Jean: RIGHT???????? OH SHTi THE GUY. ONE SEC. GONNA. BUY DOG FOD TEXT U WHEN I’m HOME OK Armin: kk so then arm smiles and like. flops back on his bed and he’s calmed down a bit like. he’s in that mood where like. he could go out and eat dinner but like if he had to go out and eat dinner with jean and jean said something sexual then he would kill him with sexy thing. (hopefully that made sense cause I have no idea how to explain it otherwise cause I’m really baD AT THIS STUFF OMFG SOORY I HAVE NOE XPERIENCE????) ok ok so armin actually like. realizes he wants to take a shower so he goes and takes a fast one and cools off and all that and whatever anD while he’s getting out of the shower he hears his phone text noise and he’s like OOH. so he just wraps a towel around his waist and walks back to his room and like. closes the door obviously. and sits on his bed and YAY TEXT FROM THE BOY Jean: honey im homo Armin: *gasp* Jean: HOME. I TPYED HOEM. HOEM. HOME. HOME NOT HOMO. Armin: The crowd waits with bated breath as the young and handsome Jean Kirschtein fumbles awkwardly with his phone as he attempts to correct his fatal mistake at admitting to his boyfriend that he may in fact…have some homo qualities. Jean: that’s grat armin why Sony you tell me about oceans next? Armin: Why Sony indeed. Asking life’s real questions I see. Jean: ***WHY DON’T. Jean: FUCKIN. AUTOCORRECT Armin: what r u wearing??? ;) Jean: goddamit armin don’t make fun of me Armin: Cause I’m just wearing a towel ;) Jean: …really? Armin: Actually yes. I took a shower while I was waiting for you to text back. and then there’s this. this 5 min span of time. where jean doesn’t send anything back. and armin’s like…holy shit is he ok? like??? I wonder what happened??? and then finally jean’s like Jean: can i see? Armin: No. But you can imagine. Jean: wanna. help me. imagine? Armin: Jean are you asking me to sext you? Because it really seems like you’re asking me to sext you. Jean: uh. lmao. maybe. Armin: The towel is green. It’s pretty old but rather soft and is definitely good at helping one dry off. Jean: HAHA oh! that’s sounds coal! Armin: My hair is still a bit wet despite the fact that I gave it what might be deemed as an acceptable towel drying as soon as I’d hopped out of the shower. My shower was relaxing by the way, thanks for asking. It was very warm and soothing…consequently those features are also applicable to your voice…regardless of that fact however, the centered spray of water helped me to work out some of the ridiculous kinks in my back. Armin: Though if I were to be completely honest with you? I think it might have been more enjoyable had it been your hands giving me a massage rather than the shower water. I’d really like to feel your hands on me. Jean: I’d flew tile to feel my hands aim you too Anton. Armin: You either turn autocorrect off or we’re not continuing this. Jean: OFF IT”S OFF it’S OFF IT’S OFF SORRY SORRY SORRY Armin: I don’t think sorry will be enough this time Jean. Jean: um are…you’re not breaking up with me are you? Armin: (HAVE YOU. NEVER. HEARD OF. ROLEPLAYING? OR. I DON’T KNOW LIKE. A LITTLE SOMETHING CALLED “SETTING THE MOOD”???) Jean: (OH WE’RE…DOING THIS???? WAIT WE’RE LIKE. I THOGUHT. YOU. I. THOGUHT YOU JUST DISMISSED MY. SEXT THING UH WOAHGMG OWhA) Armin: (WHY THE FUCK ELSE WOULD I HAVE GONE INTO SUCH DETAIL ABOUT MY SHOWER?) Jean: (I DUNNO YOU LIKE TO TALK AND TYPE A LOT SO I THOUGHT YOU WERE JUST DESCRIBING YOUR. I MEAN. FUCK I’m. I MESSED THIS UP SHIT SHIT OK OK LET ME. START WE’LL START AGAIN OK OK OK OK ILL START) Jean: i bang on the door but theres no answer so i crash through the wall “give daddy some sugar” my voice is rough with the tang of sweet sex and there you are laying on the ground wearing nothing but pink stockings and panties Armin: What. Jean: i walk over to your petite yet manly body and run my hands up and down your hairless chest and then i pinch ur nips and u like that so u mewl like a kitten and then i also kiss you. then i take your cock and jerk it like theres no tomorrow and ur squealing like an animal all “JEAN JEAN JEAN” chanting my name just like that yeah baby Armin: IS. ARE YOU JOKING OR??? Jean: WAS IT BAD??? Armin: OH MY GOD APPARENTLY NEITHER OF US KNOW HOW TO PROPERLY SEXT. WHY DON’T THEY TEACH YOU THIS STUFF IN SCHOOL? Jean: FUCK IDK THIS IS TERRIBLE WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU EVEN SUPPOSED TO SAY IN A SEXT LIKKE. WHAT??? Armin: YEAH LIKE WHAT AM I SUPPOSED TO SAY LIKE “I’ve got my cock in my hand now, stroking it slowly to thoughts of your rough, calloused fingers all over my body. Touching me everywhere” Jean: Um. actually…let’s. don’t. um. HOLD ON. LET’S OK. I’LL SET A SCENARIO AND THEN YOU. SAY STUFF. LIKE YOU DID JUST NOW. BECAUSE THAT WAS HOT. Armin: REALLY?? UM OK? Jean: EHEM. SO. im laying on top of you kissing your neck…and i guess you like that. i mean you usually like when i do that. you usually squirm a little bit and this shiver goes up your back, and its so intense even i can feel it and its really hot Armin: Ah. I do like it when you kiss my neck…I’ve actually always thought I hid that shiver well but apparently I was wrong, so I’m a bit embarrassed by that. But it’s hard to stay shy when you’ve got your hot 143 pound boyfriend on top of you, sucking on your neck. Jean: im laughing cause you’re so cute i cant handle it sometimes. Armin: I. feel your breath tickling my neck and can’t help but blush a bit. frustrated and embarrassed, i grab your face in my hands and press our lips together. Jean: (now we’re talking) i deepen the kiss and search your mouth i guess. (lol search for what? gold or some shit idfk) im searching it with my tongue i mean. and i dunno you let out a little noise or something (am i doing his right?) Armin: (yeah like I’m the person to ask if you’re doing this right or not) i…I guess I grab a fistful of your hair now and um, jerk your head to the side and force my tongue into your mouth for a search of its own. then I run my foot up the back of your leg and back down again Jean: im gettin p hot and bothered tbh at this point (um like actually in real life too like idk bout you but I think….we’re doin something right cause…I dunno its kinda hot right?) and I groan a bit cause I like it when you pull on my hair like that yeah. I feel your foot going up my leg and shiver, like, I want you so fucking bad it hurts. Armin: (jean calm down and stop breaking character you’re doing fine. and yeah I’m getting…hot and bothered too I guess…I mean I kind of was already like in the shower-ish and like, when you left and whatever like. been thinking about this whole. scenario and whatnot and uh yeah, bu Armin: (FUCK I HIT ENTER TOO EARLY PRETEND I NEVER SENT THAT I WAS TRYING TO DELETE IT JUST FORGET IT PLEASE OK SORRY SORRY) I’m getting impatient now so I break for a breath and let my hands sneak down between us and I start unbuckling your belt. slowly though, tortuously slow. Jean: i kind of want to punch you right now because fuck you Armin: haha, that’s the plan. I have your belt unbuckled now so stop your whining. I then let my hand slip into your pants and I palm you through your… (boxers? uh, this is awkward because I know we were joking before but um. what are you wearing? or rather, what DO you wear…?) Jean: how hard Armin: ??? Jean: how hard r u. palmibg gmme Armin: (Oh. uh. I dunno. less than when I accidentally groped you at breakfast. But you didn’t really answer my question?) Jean: boxens Jean: r uo still wearin twoeeln??? Armin: Wait are we describing what we’re doing in real life now? or…still imagining…?? I’m. confused. I don’t think we’re on the same wavelength here. The heck is a twoeeln. Towel?? Boxens… Jean: torch urself Armin: What. Jean: atke eoff ur towtel and touchtr ruserlf and prettyed its mee I wrkoud go slo but hward how do u jerk offe???. donrt grab yet juts toucrh Armin: What. Jean: imadgine its me, im strokin ur cozk now. fuk i gotat wonder wat noises u make ive only heaeard ur moaasns while kisring i bet u srmake the swetersts nosien Armin: JeAN I’M SORRY I JUST CAN’T TAKE YOU SERIOUSLY WHEN YOU’RE MAKING THIS MANY TYPOS. WHAT LIKE. ARE YOU TEXTING ONE HANDED CAUSE YOU’RE JAMBLIN YOUR JUMBO? Armin: OH MY GOD I’M SORRY I JUST TYPED OUT JAMBLIN YOUR JUMBO LIKE. I SWEAR IT SEEMED LIKE. AN OK. THING TO SAY BUT. I SHOULD HAVE JUST SAID MASTURBATING. I’M SO SORRY OH MY GOD. I DON’T EVEN KNOW WHAT’S HAPPENIGN ANYMORE. Jean: SOTP IM ALUGHIN SO HARD I CAN”T EVEN COCK MY COCK Armin: COCK YOUR COCK WHAT OH MY GOD WHAT THE FUCK THIS IS SO DUMB I’M JUST SITTING NAKED ON MY BED JESUS CHRIST THIS IS SO LAMe I’M SORRY OH MY GOD Jean: I CAN”T BREATHE COCK MY COK OHY MY OGDUFKCING THIS IS WHY I FUCKIN NEED AUTOCORET SO IT AT LEAST MAKES SOME FUCKIN WORDS OUT OF MY TPOS JEYSC CHIS Armin: OH My GOD and then they both start laughing like even harder and they both have to put their phones down to like. calm the fuck down because jesus Christ. and then jean texts again after like. 5 mins. Jean: oh my god i want to small ur hairy Armin: That’s the hottest thing you’ve ever said to me. Jean: small. smell. same thing. hairy. hair. what the diff Armin: So… Jean: So… Armin: So I was wondering because I can’t exactly remember for sure. How often do you think about me while getting off? Jean: WHAT Armin: We talked about it a little I know! But I guess I just…wanted to hear it again? Jean: WHAT THE FUCK AMRin Armin: JEAN WE JUST FAILED AT SEXTING SO BAD NOW IS NOT THE TIME TO BE EMBARRASSED. Jean: i obviriously think about you every time i jerk off! EVERY FUCKING TIME. I MEAN. WHY WOULDNT I?? WHY WOULD YOU EVEN ASK THAT LIKE. ARE WE STILL SEXTING OR NO??? Armin: Alright, alright, jeez, just making sure. Armin: Anyways…you still got your hand on your dick? Jean: …idk. not really? Armin: Yeah not gonna lie to you here the mood’s a bit…um, dead so to speak. So. I was just saying I guess, if you’re still…having your “downstairs problem” you can just go ahead and deal with it? As in. Please don’t wait for me or anything! I mean not that…well like. What I’m saying is that I already dealt with mine and I’m not really up for more “sexting” tonight… Jean: u already came? Armin: Perhaps. Jean: Um…Same??? like im embarrassed at how this wasnt even that sexy yet i didnt even last that long… Armin: So apparently as unsuccessful as our sexting extravaganza seemed to be. We still managed to. Uh, finish rather quickly. Jean: yeah like it wasnt the best sexual experience of my life but the fact that we still somehow managed to get shit done makes me believe that like. if we actually like. get down and dirty in person we could have like the most amazing fucking time holy shit dude Armin: Exactly what I was thinking, yes. Jean: next time i see you im shovin u down and sexing u up Armin: How romantic, can’t wait. Jean: idk which part of that was sincere or sarcastic or if it was all sarcastic or sincere or what but im gonna pretend ur just as excited about this as i am Armin: NO I’M EXCITED SORRY. I DIDN’T MEAN TO COME OFF AS RUDE OR ANYTHING! I’M EXCITED TO FUCK YOU JEAN!! Jean: you mean ur excited for me to fuck you Armin: Ha ha ha. Jean: … Armin: I guess we’ll just have to see how it goes, tackle the problems as they come. Armin: If you’re making a joke about the word “come” right now, you should not do that. Jean: damn Armin: Well I guess I’ll…go to bed? Jean: r u still naked Armin: Nah I put some boxers on. Jean: sleep. tight asshole Armin: I can see what you were trying to do there but. It just really didn’t work. But I know you tried. Jean: lube tight asshole Jean: slee. sleeze tight asshole. ass nice asshole. ass. dick. sleep tight. sleep. ass. Armin: G’night Jean Jean: B=========================================D Jean: that my dick Armin: Fantastic. Jean: fantasdick so whatever they go to bed then I guess or something like that whatever and then like. like HOLY SHIT WAIT OMF AM ARE WE. ACTUALY AT. THE WEDDING PART. ARE WE. FINALLY AT. THE GODDAMN. FUCKING. WEDDING PART LIKE. 61 PAGES IN WORD. AND WE’RE HERE??? IS IT POSSIBLE????? WE ARE HERE WE ARE HERE OK. HOLY SHIT. FUCK THE WEDDING. BEGINS. THE WEDDING IS IN. 1 DAY. HOLY SHIT SO now we’ve got jean like. he’s excited about the wedding but he’s also sad he didn’t get to go to the rehearsal with armin…but then it’s like jean. you aren’t IN the wedding boy not everything is about YOU so now jean’s like. excited about the wedding but it’s not till tomorrow and he can’t be excited about it with armin or eren or something cause they’re IN the wedding so they’re at the rehersal and will be there all damn day and knowing hanji and levi…they’ll be there all night too cause something is gonna go wrong. so jean’s like, in starbucks and like, he is draped across a table near the barista bar thing and he’s like “REEEEINERRRrrr” and reiner is like “jean I’m WORKING. I’m wiping down the COUNTERS and making DRINKS can’t you see I’m busy??” and jean is like “ugh” because he came here to socialize not watch people work and he is important and reiner should just stop working??? and bert is like working the cash register and he like rolls his eyes when he makes eyecontact with jean cause HEY. BERT AND REINER LIKE TO PARTY JUST AS MUCH AS THE NEXT GUY BUT NOT WHILE THEY’RE WORKING BECAUSE THEY DON’T WANT TO GET FIRED BECAUSE THEY FUCKING. WORK TOGETHETER??? HOW GREAT IS THAT THEY DON’T WANT TO LOSE THAT. ALSO UM. MONEY??? so they’re being all super serious and jean is like UGH this is LAME. so he calls connie and marco but connie’s having a family day and mARCO IS. HANGING OUT WITH DAZZ. and that makes jean groan because dazz is so lame but marco is friends with him and marco is like “jean pls dazz is very sweet” and jean’s like “why don’t u marry him” and marco’s like “welll maybe I will if ur gonna be such a dick” and then jean’s like “marco pls don’t marry dazz” and marco’s like “u aren’t the boss of me” and in the backround jean can hear dazz talking about cereal and jean’s like Ugh gross so anyways, the point is that connie and marco are busy. like. they’re busy doing their OWN things and jean is just so lonely that he’s like “UUUGHhhhhhHH UGHHH I WANT TO TALK ABOUT THIS WEDDING WITH SOMEONE??” and then DINGDiNG ALING the door rings as a tiny angry annie walks in and jean is like. HEYO but annie walks up to bert and bert’s like “the usual?” and annie’s all like *nod* and then reiner starts making her drink which is actually just applejuice. and he like hands it to her and she’s like *peace sign dawg* after she pays and she’s about to sit in her regular seat near like, the corner of the room but jean sees his opportunity and GRABS it literally by the sleeve and annie is like what the fuck because jean just grabbed her sleeve why is jean here what. and jean’s like “ANNIE! Let’S TALK!” and annie’s like “no thanks.” and she gets outta his grasp and if he hadn’t caught himself with his other hand slamming down on the table he would have fallen out of his chair. so anyways annie goes and sits at her regular table but jean follows her and takes the seat opposite of her and he’s like “annie c’mon please, I wanna talk about the wedding aren’t you excited?” “mmm” “how excited are you on a scale from 1 to 10” “mmhmm” “ANNIE C’MON!” and that finally gets her attention as well as like. half of the fucking entire store because jean also slapped his hand on the table and was loud and bert looks at him like. –I’ll kick u out if u make trouble boy- and jean’s all like. oh shit he looks mad. so then he whispers again like “Annie c’mon please?” and annie’s like “I don’t have much to be excited about. I don’t really even want to go.” and jean’s like “WHAT HOW?” and annie’s like “I’m not friends with levi or hanji or anything I don’t even know why they invited me.” “Annie do you even know what happens at weddings?” and annie blushses cause ugh and she’s like “OF COURSE I KNOW WHAT HAPPENS AT WEDDINGS. You get married…” and jean’s like “Well fine then are you excited about the AFTERPARTY” and she’s like “not really…I just said I didn’t want to go. what even makes you think I’m going?” “cause eren is gonna be sad if you don’t go…” and then annie raises a brow at him and she’s like “since when did you and eren become so close anyways.” and jean’s like “WHAT WE AREN’T CLOSE JAEGER’S LAME” and annie is like “then why are you so sure that eren will be sad if I don’t go…” “You’re just jealous that I know your boyfriend better than you do.” and annie is like “lol” and jean is like “sneer” and they’re both being dumb and then reiner pulls up a chair suddenly and jean is like “yo I thought you said you had to work” and reiner’s like “I’m taking my 10 min break boy calm the fuck down” and jean is like. f u. SO ANYWAYS THEY JOKE FOR 10 MINS THEN LIKE. THEY ALL CHILL FOR ANOTHER HOUR AND THEN REINER AND BERT ARE OFF WORK SO THEY GO AND CHILL AT REINERS HOUSE SO NOW LIKE. WE’VE GOT JEAN, ANNIE, BERT AND REINER ALL HANGING OUT IN REINER’S COOL RADICAL BASEMENT and they’re all just talking and then reiner gets a dumb look on his face and he’s like “so annie…is eren an animal in bed?” and annie keeps a straight face but blushses a little because what the fuck and she’s like “none of your business” and reiner is like “how far have you gotten?” and annie’s like “none of your business” and reiner’s like “whisper it in my ear” and annie’s like “it’s NONE OF YOUR BUSINESS” and reiner’s like “whisper it in BERTL’s ear and I’ll stop ASKINg” and annie and reiner have like a staredown but then like she gives up and whisper’s how far she’s gone with eren in bert’s ear and BERTl FUCKING. CHUCKLES. AND THEN HE GETS EMBARRASSED BECAUSE HE JUST FUCKING CHUCKLED AND ANNIE PUNCHES HIS ARM AND SHE’S LIKE FUCK YOU AND BERTL IS LIKE oW AND JEAN’S LIKE WHAT WHAT WHAT DID SHE SAY AND BERT just waves his hand like. no not telling you and then jean’s like “well whisper it in REINER’s ear” and so bert whispers it to reiner and annie is still blushing and reiner LAUGHs out loud and jean’s like “NOW TELL ME” and reiner whispers it in jean’s ear he’s like “kissing and boob touching” and jean is like why the fuck did they all just fucking like. they’re all like. 18 and 19 or whatever and they…are fucking sitting in a basement and all just whispered “kissing and boob touching” into each others ears instead of just saying it outloud how weird is that and they’re all laughing because this is fucking dumb this is so dumb but WHO EVEN CARES anymore and like. omfg. so anyways. now that they’re on this topic reiner is like “so how far have you and armin gone?” and jean’s like. oh shit. jean’s like. “What! I’m not telling you that!” and reiner’s like “c’mon annie talked now it’s your turn” and jean’s like “y-YEAH WELL WHAT ABOUT YOU??? HUHHH????” and reiner’s like so causually he’s just like “we’ve had wall sex before” and bert is like “it’s not as sexy as it sounds” and reiner is like “WHAT ARE U TALKING ABOUT IT WAS FANTASTIC U UNGRATEFUL SWEATY BOY” and jean is like “FORGET I ASKED” and then reiner’s like “nah I think I’ll keep talking bout how I’ve sucked my big b’s big d if you aren’t gonna contribute something to this convo bro.” but then he’s like “but actually jk if you really don’t want to talk about it we won’t” but then jean is like…shit he. is talking to two experienced gay dudes who have gay sexed and he could use…the info….so he’s like. he GROANS and puts his head in his hands to hide the blush on his cheeks and he’s like “kissing and. uh. like. 3 days ago we like. sexted…” and reiner catcalls and annie suddenly looks interested because despite what she tries to convince people annie likes gossip like. LIKE SHE DOESN’T LIKE. GOSSIPING PERSAY BUT SHE. LIKES LISTENING ABOUT OTHER PEOPPLE OK. SHE’S A CURIOUS BABBU IT’S NOT HER FAULT. ALSO BERT LIKES LISTENING ABOUT OTHER PEOPLE TOO AND REINER SO LIKE SHUT UP! so then reiner’s like “yeah? how did the sexting go?” and jean is like “fucking terribly.” and reiner laughs so hard and bert’s like “did you roleplay or what?” and jean is like *huge groan* “we like. I don’t know…I don’t even know.” and reiner pats jean on the back and he’s like “no matter what kind of experience you had you don’t have to worry cause there’s no way yours could have been worse than me and bertl’s first sexting attempt…” and suddenly jean is very intridugied and he’s like. oh ho ho do share. and annie snorts because she’s heard about this before because reiner likes to tell everyone about his sex life whenever he can and bert just don’t even care anymore so reiner like. smiles and takes out his phone and like. clicks around on it and he’s like “I have the original convo right here it’s from like idk when we were like 16 or something” and jean is like omfg omfg omfg so reiner hands it to jean and jean is like omfg. so he reads Bertholdt: Reiner did you call earlier? Sorry I was buying food. Reiner: oh you were buying food huh? you hungry? Bertholdt: Um. I guess…I mean. I was hungry. I’m not really anymore though considering I ate the food. you know, the food that I bought to eat. cause I was hungry. which is why I missed your call. Reiner: Are you thirsty too? Bertholdt: Am I thirsty right now? no I’m drinking water. Reiner: are you thirsty for reiner Bertholdt: wat Reiner: well I know I’m thirsty for you the thirst is real bertl Bertholdt: are you drunk texting me or something idgi Reiner: I hope I get drunk. drunk as in drank. drank drunk by you, you thirsty man with your thirsty thirst for me you. I’m gonna lick ur sweat up after we kissing and shit how u like my tongue on u huh Bertholdt: come again? Reiner: again? Bertholdt: what Reiner: can’t come a second time till you make me come a first one yo Bertholdt: did you want to come over? is that why you called? Reiner: all over you Bertholdt: brb I spilled my cheetos and sat on one AND JEAN WANTS TO CRY BECAUSE HE’S REMEMBERING HOW ARMIN AND HIM WEREN’T ON THE SAME WAVELENGTH BUT LIKE. AT LEAST IT WASN”T THIS BAD Reiner: um Bertholdt: back! did you get the new GTA? Reiner: fondle my balls Bertholdt: I’ll take that as a yes then? Reiner: I want your big cock in my ass Bertholdt: WOAH UH. HEY NOW. Reiner: bertl you’re TERRIBLE at this Bertholdt: Terrible at what?? I’m sorry? Are you ok? what happened? Reiner: how is it possible that ur so hot but so bad at sexting? Bertholdt: sexting? we were…sexting what? Reiner: OBVISOULY??? Bertholdt: UM. NOT OBVIOUSLY? HOW. DID YOU THINK. I UNDERSTOOD THAT. WHEN I TOLD YOU. ABOUT THE CHEETOS OR GTA? Reiner: I DUNNO I DIDN’T WANT TO KINK SHAME Bertholdt: WHO HAS A KINK FOR CHEETOS DUST AND GTA???? Reiner: a lot of people I’m sure… Bertholdt: WAIT SO. Wait. so you. you we I mean. you were we were….you want to sext? Reiner: well yeah I mean it’s not like I put my pants back on or anything. still just me. pantsless old reiner…thinkin bout his bff who is now his bf. bff+bf…b squared f to the power of 3. bff. bff..bf… Bertholdt: your…pants are off? Reiner: jesus christmas yes my pants are OFF. SHOULD WE JUST DO THIS ANOTHER TIME? I didn’t mean to like. just. I didn’t know how to bring it up so like…I mean idk how to, augh I mean just. sorry. idk Bertholdt: NO I mean NO NO it’s ok I. don’t mind…doing it I just wasn’t aware that we were but uh. um let me just lock my door. and take. my pants off Reiner: WAIT don’t take your pants off yet I want to tell you to do it. Bertholdt: um. ok. Bertholdt: can…can I take them off? Reiner: no like. I want to like. have you imagine it’s me taking them off Bertholdt: I can take off my own pants though Reiner: NO LIKE. IN A SEXY WAY. I WANT TO HAVE YOU IMAGINE ME TAKING YOUR PANTS OFF IN A SEXY WAY Bertholdt: uh. like. should I imagine my pants off or actually. take my physical pants off. can I take my pants off? Bertholdt: reiner please my room is like 90 degrees Reiner: Bertholdt fucking Fubar I swear to god Bertholdt: I took them off. I took my pants off. Reiner: god dammit Bertholdt: I can put them back on if it’s really that important but reiner my room is like, so hot. you don’t understand. Reiner: no whatever. don’t put them back on just. keep your underwear on Bertholdt: ah Reiner: did you go commando again today? Bertholdt: mm… Reiner: so you’re telling me that I was sitting next to you at school today and you weren’t wearing ur damn undies Bertholdt: er…I didn’t have any time to do laundry so… Reiner: I’M SO FUCKING MAD BECAUSE EVERYTHING YOU DO IS DUMB BUT IT TURNS ME ON SO MUCH I SWEAR TO GOD I GET SO MANY BONERS BECAUSE OF YOU Bertholdt: HA HA HA LIKE YOU’RE ONE TO TALK! AT LEAST I DON’T ATTEMPT TO SEDUCE YOU. AT LEAST I APPARENTLY DO IT BY ACCIDENT. AT LEAST I DON’T SMILE A SEDUCTIVE SMILE AT YOU AND WINK AND LIKC MY LIPS. AT LEAST YOU CAN HIDE YOUR DAMN BONER! Reiner: IS THAT SUPPOSED TO BE A JAB AT MY DICK SIZE??? MY DICK ISN’T SMALL BERTL I LOOKED IT UP YOURS IS JUST APPARENTLY REALY REALLY BIG OR SOMETHING IDK Bertholdt: I WASN’T MAKING FUN OF YOU JUST STATING THE FACTS CALM DOWN Reiner: SUCK MY COCK Bertholdt: OK? Reiner: OK?! Bertholdt: ok. like…imagined or. real? Reiner: you’d suck my cock 4 real? Bertholdt: um yes? I mean. I would if my dad hadn’t told me “Bertholdt I don’t want you having sex you’re too young and you’ll fuck it up.” Reiner: your dad knows we’re dating? Bertholdt: no. but he told me that anyways…I guess. I think he thinks I’m dating Annie. but I’m not, obviously. Reiner: LMFAO MY MOM THINKS I’M DATING ANNIE TOO LIKE HOLY SHIT I HOPE UR DAD AND MY MOM DON’T TALK CAUSE THAT’S GONNA BE AWKWARD Bertholdt: idk why it even has to be a big deal tho, I mean if they find out who cares right? Reiner: no I agree it’s not a big deal but I just don’t want ur dad to not let me come over for sleepovers anymore and vise versa Bertholdt: true. Reiner: uh. but ok. um. so. cocks. AND LIKe. right when Jean is about to scroll down to get to their like. ACTUAL conversation like, ACTUAL sexting thing, reiner pulls the phone out of jean’s hand and he’s like “the rest of that convo is classified buddy” and jean’s about to protest but annie like, looks over her shoulder (cause while jean was reading the texts annie like, turned on the ps3 and is playing like. some bad skater game cause reiner has a lot of those for some reason) and she’s like “you’d be making a mistake if you read the rest of that abomination” and jean is like. DAMMIT cause he’s trying to like. discreetly like. figure out how the heck he’s supposed to be sexy with armin whether that’s with the real life sexy or just sexting like. he has no idea how to like. DO IT. apparently sometimes he DOES it but he isn’t always completely aware of when he does it and he’d like to be aware because then he could like. flirt more and have sexy times with his boy right. so anyways. then like. bert, reiner and jean end up watching annie shred some sick moves and then they start playing DJ Hero or whatever the fuck and bertl’s like, popping some ill beats and he’s like on expert and he’s realy good for some reason so annie’s watching that and jean is sitting next to reiner so jean kind of discreetly nudges reiner and he’s like “psst” “wassup?” and jean is like “so uh. how did you I mean. how. uh. how did you…have uh. sex. I mean” “jean are you asking me how gay sex works?” and jean frowns and he’s like “I fUCKING KNOW HOW IT WORKS. I’M JUST. asking. how. like. I mean. I’m asking for. real life specifics because…porn isn’t. uh…” “yeeah no I gotcha, porn is not a good source of info like, don’t trust that shit that’s all a lie ok like fuckin hell. don’t try that shit at home” and jean laughs awkwardly and then reiner’s like “okey dokey bud what do you need to know?” and jean is suddenly like so thankful that reiner is such a chill dude? “so like. um. who…who’s the. bottom?” and reiner laughs out loud and bert and annie give him this look that’s like pls shut up and reiner is like lol so then he’s like “don’t make a huge deal about top and bottom shit I mean. bertl and I don’t. like. we switch, trade off. shit like that. I mean I guess it’s diff for everyone though it’s something you gotta decide it’s not like there is like. I mean…the only rules for sex are basically like. full consent. otherwise it’s free range.” and jean’s like “I know but like. how do. I mean…like what if he. idk. idk” and then reiner ruffles jean’s hair and he’s like “dude stop freakin about it, it shouldn’t be stressful just relax. it’ll happen when it happens just make sure to use a condom and like 2000 gallons of lube.” and jean laughs but he’s still nervous because he just doesn’t really want to fuck it up but reiner wraps an arm around his neck and reiner’s collonge smells nice so jean is like reiner so right. reiner knows what’s up. so anyways it ends up being a lovely night that is gay and fun and annie blushes more when they start talking about eren again and she’s like SHhhs HSHH NOonoNO. cause she is trying so hard not to be embarrassed but she can’t help it cause eren is her first bf and she likes him a lot. BUT ANYWAYS. THEN. THE NIGHT IS OVER AND. THE DAY. THE DAY IS HERE. JEAN SLEEPS AND WHEN HE WAKES. IT IS THE DAY. THE DAY OF THE WEDDING THE DAY. THAT IT TOOK 25060 WORDS TO GET TO THiS IS THE DAY. WE ARE HERE. WE DID IT. WE DID IT. WE DID IT HOORAY I’m SO GLAD. congragulations, you won! ALRIGHT HERE WE ARE LET’S GO LET’S GO YEEEHAW BAM SLAM THANK U MAM WHAT IS GOING ON WHAT IS THIS???? WE NOW SEE. A SWEET YOUNG ARMIN BOY. IN HIS. REALLY REALLY CUTE TUX. armin is wearing a TUX ok and he’s sitting with his soon to be OFFICIALl in law LEVI YAY. and levi is like. straightening his tie for the tenth time and armin is like “hey levi it’s ok to be nervous” and levi is like “I’m not nervous what the fuck armin” and armin sighs. cause armin is one of the groomsmen so he’s standing with his boy eren right and then there’s also some of levi’s friends like aurou and erd and gunter, and mike and whatever so that’s cool. so each one of them is like. trying to give levi a pep talk but levi keeps getting mad and fixing his tie and he’s like “STOP I’m NOT FUCKING NERVOUS IT’S JUST A DAMN WEDDING” but his voice cracks when he says damn and he’s just. really nervous LIKE. he’s not really showing it in his expression but it’s more in how he’s standing and it’s p obvious but he keeps denying it so armin sighs but smiles cause wow uncle levi (armin and eren started calling him uncle levi a while ago but he’s not really armin’s uncle or uncle in law obviously but it don’t matter) so fuckin lame. so like. SLAM BAM ZOOM ZAT WONDER WHERE THE LADIES AT??? so meanwhile hanji is in this other room with petra, mikasa, Irvin, mobilt and nanaba and petra and petra is smiling so hard and she’s giggling so much and she’s like “hanji you look so pretty oh my god this is so exciting” and hanji is laughing because petra is so cute and then like. Irvin is like, making sure hanji’s dress is all good and all that jazz cause hanji’s dress is hot yo. like damn gurl lookin good and mobilt is like. standing away from them making sure that hanji looks good from a distance too and SURPRISE SHE DOES. and then also nanaba is standing in the corner and they’re like “hanji aren’t you nervous? you don’t look nervous at all…I’d be nervous” and hanji looks at them and she’s like “of course of nervous Banana but it’s fine cause I know levi is more nervous than I am so he’ll mess up before I do so it’s ok” and she laughs and winks at them and nanaba is like “omf don’t call me banana u big dumb” and hanji is like u so cute bab ilu so much and banan like “shhhh” and hanji wants TO HUG NANABA BECAUSE BAB SO CUTE BUT HANJI GOTTA SIT WHILE IRVIN FUSSES OVER HER DRESS So she calls banana over and gives them a hug and nanaba is like sniffling and they’re like “I can’t believe ur getting married” and hanji is like “omf I know???” and then suddenly petra just starts sobbing and she’s like about to lean over and like, just, grab hanji’s head from behind and hug her so hard and she’s like “HANJI I’M SO HAPPY FOR YOU” and Irvin like SQUEALS and stops her and he’s like “PETRA DON’T SMOOSH HER HAIR! OH MY GOD NO DON’T TOUCH NONONO” and petra is like “FRICK SORRY SORRY” and Irvin is like “JUST BE CAREFUL. IT TOOK ME 2 HOURS TO GET THAT BIRDSNEST SHE CALLS HAIR TO LOOK GOOD. I WANT IT TO STAY THAT WAY” and hanji laughs and she’s like “Irvin fuckin chill pls” and Irvin like is like *feminine huff* and he’s like “’Irvin fucking chill please’?, how am I supposed to ‘chill’ when I had to be the one to help you with your hair AND your dress AND had to help you plan the wedding AND am the best man AND have to GIVE YOU AWAY AT ACTUAL THE WEDDING???” and hanji laughs again and she just shakes her head and she’s like “it’ll be fine, besides, it’s like, not even a traditional wedding really like, you don’t have to worry so much hon” and Irvin just groans because uGh even if he doesn’t HAVE to worry he can’t help it? these are like his two best friends in the world he doesn’t want to let them down but he’s like Ugh and petra starts CRYING Again because she’s so HAPPY and nanaba is like caught in hanji’s strong grip and they’re like “hanji you have to let me go see if the guys are ready and if everything’s going accordingly” and hanji is like “NANABA NO PLS STAY” and nanaba is like “I’ll be right back omf” so whatever nanaba leaves and then mikasa is like “hanji are you sure you’re not making a mistake.” and hanji laughs her ass AGAIN and she’s like, snorting and she’s like “MIKASA YOU’RE SO CUTE” and mikasa is like “thank you. but it was a serious question” and hanji is like “Who’s to say what’s a mistake and what’s a blessing though? and what if they’re one in the same? it’s possible mikasa. It’s a waste of time to get caught up in what’s right or wrong and instead you really ought to just focus on what makes you happy! we don’t have long enough in this life to worry about what other people think of us.” and Irvin is like “alright that was a great speech and all but hanji you gotta stand up now so I can make sure the back of your dress is ok” and hanji is like OKEY DOKEY. so they’re all sitting around and Irvin keeps fussing over hanji and mobilt is now too and then eren walks into the room and everyone is like. eren what the fuck are you doing here? and eren’s like “mike sent me here in nanaba’s place cause he said he wanted a little banana scent before the wedding” and everyone groans because mike and nanaba are so gross and lame but also cute but gross and lame but cute. BUT ANYWAYS SO. then eren is like “wow hanji you look…fantastic” and he’s a little like woah there because he always forgets that hanji hot but then she’s like yo and he’s like OH SHIT I USED TO HAVE A REALLY BIG CRUSH ON YOU. LIKE. eren used to have a crush on hanji cause she always payed attention to him but not in a totally mothering way all the time and also she was nice and funny and weird. but then he found out she had a boyfriend and he was so fucking heartbroken and armin had to like, help him through that cause he was like 10 or something and it was a huge ass deal because WHAT’S SO GREAT ABOUT LEVI ANYWAYS?? but yes so he’s like blushing now cause she’s like family to him now but damn she still hot. he likes the noses he likes the hook noses, eren’s got a nose type boy can’t help it. so anyways then eren kind of leads them out of the room and back into the hall with all the other groomsmen but levi isn’t there anymore he’s in the other room now cause they’re doing their wedding a little diff than other people cause they’re levi and hanji dammit. hanji wanted a fun wedding so that’s what she’s gonna get. So ANYWAYS. eren like elbows armin and he’s like “hanji looks good!” and armin smirks and he’s like “careful there eren you’ve got a girlfriend now” and eren’s like “I WASN’T CRUSHING ON HER OR WHATEVER JUST SAYING SHE LOOKED GOOD CAUSE SHE DOES. SHE DOES!” and armin’s like “lol boy I know” and eren is blushing and mumbling to himself because he feels like a 10 year old again and this is really dumb. BUT WHATVER SO. so then this like. oh my god, like jazzy piano music starts playing and hanji is like “shoow time” and mike and nanaba like, try and discreetly kind of. walk up behind eren and armin and act as if they weren’t just making out. but they totally were. but anyways. so then like all the bridesmaids and groomsmen line up like, we’ve got armin, eren and mikasa and they’re walking with all three of them together with mikasa in the middle and then mikes with his lil nanaba and then like, auruo and petra, erd and gunter and then like whatever, the rest of the people I don’t even remember who else is supposed to be there but who cares ok so they all. start slowly walking down the aisle and like. this jazzy music is so NOT wedding like and omfg it’s a disaster but it’s fine because they’re all genuinely smiling and it’s super cute and whatever so they all walk down the aisle and then get into their proper formation like how they praticed the day before and armin makes eye contact with jean in the audience (it’s not hard to find him cause his hair is dumb and also he’s sitting next to annie and she looks so funny omf cause ANNIE ACTUALLY ENJOYS WEDDINGS TOO, like, she enjoys movies with weddings at least she hasn’t really BEEN to a wedding like this before but she’s TRYING not to like. show how excited she is cause she gotta keep it cool but she is just so excited that it’s difficult) and jean is just. staring at him. like. staring like dumbfounded with a dumb face and everything and then armin remembers that jean hasn’t seen him in a tux before and visevera? so maybe that’s it? at least he thinks so…maybe jean has a tux kink, and if that’s true, armin is like totally gonna use that against him. but for now he smiles because jean’s making a cute face and he wants to kiss him because 2 days away from each other felt more like 5 weeks and jean blushses and realizes he’s staring at his hot boy and he’s embarrassed and then hanji is coming down the aisle and Irvin is leading her down and he’s smiling and he looks like he’s about to cry because DAMn and like…everyone is suddenly…really confused. because the music was confusing enough but now it’s like. uh why is she walking with Irvin??? where is levi? is she actually marrying Irvin what the fuck is going on? and everyone is like, what the fuck is going on and armin has to force himself not to laugh because they’re all making the like confused face that he made when hanji explained to him how she wanted to do her wedding. so despite the many gasps of “what the fuck is going on” and “where is levi” hanji takes her spot in front of pastor nick (who is seriously pissed off because what the fuck is she doing she’s fucking up his church this is not how wedding goes where is levi what the fuck pastor nick hates his life so much) and petra is standing next to hanji now because petra is hanji’s maid of honor and it’s so cute and exciting and YAY ok. so then Irvin starts walking back down the aisle and everyone is confused and scared again and he’s like, fast walking with a little nervous/excited skip in his step but you wouldn’t notice unless you were like. watching his face and legs but everyone is watching his hot ass so it’s ok. so then he walks back to the big doors and opens them and levi is standing there and he looks like. fucking frozen like. you put levi in front of a burning building with babies inside and he will save all the children and do it with style but u put him in a damn wedding, HIS OWN DAMN WEDDING, and he’ll be like. oh shit. like. HE LOVES HANJI HE DON’T GOT A PROB WITH COMMITMENT BUT. FOR SOME FUCKING DAMN STUPID REASON WEDDINGS HAVE ALWAYS BEEN SuCH A WHAT THE FUCK FOR HIM. LIKE. HE JUST. HE SUDDENLY JUST. DOESn”T EVEN KNOW WHAT’S UP. he’d probably actually prefer the burning building cause it’d be easier to deal with and save and handle than his own wedding. and Irvin is handsomely standing by the opened door and this isn’t part of the plan levi is supposed to walk in now and Irvin is supposed to lead him down the aisle also?? so there’s like this awkward silence and the music starts up again because maybe that’s why he isn’t moving and the piano person is like what the fuck. but levi is still. like. frozen and hanji is like omf what are you doing. and petra looks worried and Irvin whispers like “levi c’mon. this isn’t practice this time, we’re doing the real thing. levi c’mon. I have to walk you down the aisle. Levi? you ok?” and levi just. omfg and Irvin doesn’t know if he’s supposed to just fucking pull the dude along because GOD Irvin doesn’t want to fuck up this wedding and honestly even if he did he’d do it like a hunk, but regardless of how fucked up the wedding is already by hanji’s own wishes, he don’t want to mess this up for her and levi. but then hanji gets frustrated so she walks back down the aisle and everyone in the pews is taking videos and whatever because this is the weirdest wedding they’ve ever been to and it doesn’t seem practiced at all and some people want to laugh but others want to cry so so much. and hanji just wants to have her damn dream wedding where both her and her man are lead down the aisle so it’s fair. but if levi gonna be this way, she ain’t havin that shit. so she fucking just. brushes past handsome Irvin fatherfigure man and grabs her soon to be hubby and just. she’s carrying her finance bridal style down the aisle. and Irvin is sexily following behind them like he’s just going with it. and annie is so excited because annie’s like thinking like HOLY FUCK IS THIS HOW REAL WEDDINGS WORK OH MY GOD???? and petra is just crying again because she’s so HAPPY and the jazzy music is playing and like levi’s old grandparents that he hates but hanji insisted they invite are like, whispering loudly about how this is all wrong and what the fuck. but hey. hanji does not give a flying fuck, she wants a wedding that’s like. that makes it APPARENT, despite tradition, she wants to make it apparent how on the same level her and her man are. so anyways. she gets back to her spot and puts levi down beside her and he’s still kind of out of it like, his face is blank. and petra is crying and Irvin comes and stands next to levi and jean takes a picture because it’s really funny cause levi so short. OK BUT WHATEVER NOW THE VOWS BEGIN. so pastor nick says his shit and then hanji turns to levi and starts saying her vows and she’s like, already crying so much and petra like can’t even breathe she’s crying so so so so much and levi is still blank faced and Irvin is crying and hanji is like “levi. when we met I thought you were really gross and dumb. you seemed really lame but then when I got to know you I realized that was absolutely true. yet I still couldn’t stop myself from falling in love with you. I’m so glad I broke your window that one night. and I know your mom always hated me for it and you got a few glass shards in your foot the next morning because of it BUT. I don’t regret it. because…that’s how we finally got together and I remember how everyone thought we were going to break up at some point. they always said that we’d break up at one point or another because we were just dumb kids who thought we were in love but levi I knew. I KNEW WE WEREN’T JUST DUMB KIDS. I remember the first time we kissed. I remember knowing. I just KNEW I’d be with you forever after that moment. Levi you’re the shortest man I’ve ever met but I could never be happy with anyone taller because they wouldn’t be you. Levi I love you so much.” and then auruo has to like, go hug petra to calm her down because she’s SO FUCKING HAPPY SHE JUST CAN’T STOP CRYING OH MY GOD SHE’S CRYING SO MUCH and hanji is just. smiling so hard and crying and. then pastor nick is like. and now. for the grooms vows? and finally levi like. seems to snap out of his stupor cause he’s like “holy shit I’m at a wedding.” and hanji starts laughing and then levi is kind of embarrassed because he’s literally like. never been this. lame before. and then he looks hanji up and down and he’s like “holy shit you’re gorgeous.” and hanji smiles because hell yes she is. and levi is like “um what the fuck” and hanji laughs through her TeARs and Irvin elbows levi in the back and he’s like “ur vows bro” and levi’s like. oh shit so then levi’s like “oh. I don’t know if there’s a such thing as God or a god or something-“ and levi why would you SAY THAT IN A CHURCH? “but if there is one I bet they’re laughing their ass off right now and for the rest of their existence because they somehow decided it would be a good idea for me to fall in love with you or something. you’re the most annoying person I’ve ever met and you somehow make me like that about you and I hate you for that. you’re messy too. and you eat all my fries when we go places that have fries. but somehow I just like all those things about you and fuck” and then there is the man. levi is crying at his own DAMN wedding 2 damn tears rolling down his dumb cheeks. the DUDE who hasn’t CRIED since he was a fucking BABY (and also the one time he cries a little because he thought hanji was breaking up with him when she was actually saying she didn’t want to break up with him ever). here is the dude who didn’t cry at any funeral he ever went to or like. just. NEVER and he’s crying. and he feels so fucking. STUPID but hanji laughs and wipes the tears up and she’s cradling his face in her hands and smiling and it’s so dumb it’S SO dumb and he’s like “there isn’t anyone else in this world I’d rather be stuck with for the rest of my existence” and then hanji kisses him and it’s light and chaste and then there is like. a huge SLAM and pastor nick is like “NO. YOU. NO. YOU DO NOT. KISS BEFORE. I SAY SO. IT’S RUINED. THIS WEDDING WAS RUINED ENOUGH BUT NOW IT’S EVEN MORE RUINED. THIS IS THE MOST HORRIBLE THING I”VE EVER. EXPERIENCED I CAN’T EVEN-“ and levi kicks nick’s shin and he’s like “just finish the damn thing” and nick is like ugh and they put the rings on each other and then nick says the power vested in me thing and he’s like you may now kiss the brid- but HANJI FUCKING. TACKLES LEVI LIKE. SHE PULLS HIS FACE INTO HERS AND THAT IS NOT A WEDDING KISS. THAT IS A DESPEREATE TEEN MAKEOUT KISS. THAT IS A LOVER JUST CAME HOME FROM WAR KISS. THAT IS. A. PASSIONATE PASSIONATE MAKEOUT KISS. and levi does NOT OBJECT TO IT. and everyone starts clapping and cheering and armin wipes his own tears away because this is the worst wedding but also the best because it’s just so what the fuck. and levi breaks the kiss and this time he picks HANJI up and he like, WALKS back down the aisle and he’s like “see you at the after party you dumb shits” and he like. fucking just. walks out. and everyone is like WAIT WE HAVE TO. watch YOU LEAVE IN YOUR JUST MARRIED CAR THING. AND everyone tries to run outside to see them off but the car is already driving away and everyone is laughing because they’re like “I guess we’ll have to take pics at the afterparty???” and the camera man is like. what the fuck is going on this is so fucked up. and armin is laughing because he LOVES HANJI SHE’S THE BEST COUSIN EVER BECAUSE SHE JUST FLAT OUT DOES NOT GIVE A FUCK WHAT ASSHOLES THINK SHE JUST DOES STUFF BECAUSE SHE KNOWS SHE’S A SMART ASS WOMAN AND SHE’s CONFIDENT. and then armin turns around and eren is standing next to him and he’s sniffling so much and eren’s like “armin I need a tissue so bad” and armin’s laughing again because THIS IS SO EMOTIONAL AND HAPPY and everyone can still hear petra laughing and crying because GOD SHE’S SO HAPPY FOR HANJI GOD SHE LOVES HANJI AND LEVI SO MUCH and then armin and eren hug because why the fuck not. and as they’re like breaking out of the hug suddenly they’re both crushed back in it because jean has just like. SLAMMED Them in a hug and then they break out of THAT hug and jean’s like “oh my god” and armin is like omf and eren smiles but then he’s like “IS ANNIE HERE?” and jean is like “hell yeah boy” and eren like starts looking for her because he wants to ask her if he did a good job or something like DID HE LOOK OK UP THERE HOW WAS IT IS SHE GOING TO THE AFTERPARTY PLEASE? and jean looks back at his cute boy and he’s like “um. you uh. look very nice armin.” and armin is like “you don’t look too bad yourself there kirshtein.” and jean is like wow when did my boyfriend get so fuckin suave. but then he can’t think about that much anymore because said suave boy is pulling him down for a kiss and to that he cannot object so he gladly let’s those soft hands lead him to a soft kiss. but jean’s actually a little disappointed cause he wants to like. makeout? and then armin pulls away and looks down at the ground and he’s blushing and biting his lip a bit and jean is like wow what the fuck why is he so hot???? and armin’s like “jean there’s a problem” and jean’s like “yeah. your pants. they’re in the way.” and armin hits jean’s arm and he’s like “JEAN WE’RE AT A WEDDING OH MY GOD” but then he looks away and he’s like “too bad right?” and jean’s like oh hot damn pls lord have mercy on my gay soul. but all flirting aside they instead just hold hands and watch eren talking animatedly to annie and mikasa who aren’t actually listening and are instead talking to each other about something but eren doesn’t care/notice because whatever. and the jean’s like “hey like. i drove here so. want me to drive you to the afterparty?” and armin’s like omf god yes. so armin goes real fast and finds his grandpap who’s still in the pews and is asleep and armin’s like “hey gpap can I go with jean to the-“ and pep pep is like “just use protection” and armin’s like. um that wasn’t…what…whatever. so armin takes that as a yes and assumes he can just text his grandpa later if it turns out to be a problem but whatever. so then he walks back out and jean is leaning against a wall waiting for him and everyone else for the most part has already gotten into their cars to drive to the afterparty and annie went with the jaegers and mikasa and like, so everyone is mostly gone so then jean takes armin’s hand again and they’re smiling and they walk back to jean’s mom’s car and like get in and they start driving and then armin’s like “so what’d you end up doing yesterday?” and jean’s like “uh I just hung out with reiner, annie and bertholdt.” and armin’s like “oooh what’d you guys do?” and jean is like *sweats nervously* “well we didn’t talk about gay sex if that’s what you’re asking!” and he said it in that joking tone but then suddenly realized that that WOULD MAKE NO SENSE AS A JOKE IN THE CONTEXT AND WHY DID HE JUST SAY THAT AND THEN ARMiN LAUGHS AND IS LIKE “oh my GOD WHY WERE YOU TALKING ABOUT GAY SEX!” and jean’s like “I JUST SAID I WASN’t. I MEAN WE WEREN’T I MEAN. WE DIDN’T” and armin is laughing again because his BOY SO LAME. “well I’m glad you had fun then.” and jean’s like “shut up…what’d you even do at the rehersal yesterday then?” and armin’s like “honestly we didn’t do much. I mean we tried to run through the wedding but no one understood what hanji wanted at all and we were all confused so we’re lucky it went as well as it did today.” and jean just hums in response and then armin turns on the radio and they rock out to nicki minaj and then also 80’s music cause why not. SO HELLO. WHAT IS THIS? WHAT IS THAT BUILDING WITH ALL THOSE CARS DRIVING UP TO IT? WHY! THAT’S THE. PLACE WHERE THE AFTER PARTY IS!!!! YAY DINNER! so jean’s super excited and he pulls the key out of the ignition and then is about to get out of the car but SUDDENLy his TIE is being grabbed and his lips collide with the boy’s. and armin doesn’t let go of his tie and then also grabs the back of jean’s head and tilts it and their teeth clink a whole bunch and it’s uncomfortable cause they’re both twisted awkwardly in a car but then armin’s like, french kissing this boy and jean can’t even fucking care about his ACHIN BACk. so they’re actually…kind of getting into it cause they haven’t kissed for like. 4 days or something dumb like that (I can’t remember when they last kissed omf sorry I think it’s been 4 days though) but then there is a KNOCK KNOCK KNOCK on the car window and both jean and armin JUMP and jean smacks his head on the top of the car and he’s like “OH FUCK” and armin turns around and sees mikasa and he’s like oh my god. and he awkwardly opens the car door and both him and jean get out and then mikasa is like “there’s food inside you know. I just wanted to remind you two because you both looked pretty hungry devouring each other like that.” and she smirks and ARMIN IS LIKE. MIKASA I HATE YOU. and he’s about to playfully like smack her but she pulls him into a one armed hug and starts walking him to the afterparty building idk what else to call it and jean is awkwardly following behind because damn right he’s hungry. hungry for armin. but no jean. put that boner away and calm the fuck down you’re at a wedding…but it ok because armin is going through the same hunger right now but he is also like for real hungry too because he hasn’t eaten all DAY OH FUCK I FORGOT TO TAKE MY MEDICINE BRB ok back I also got soda holy shit it’s been a soda weekend what the fuck OK OK OK OK OK SO. SO SO. So. So. they walk inside and WOAH WHAT A BIG PLACE?? NO. they go up a elevator first and THEN They’re in this HUGE room and they’re like WOAH WHAT A BIG PLACE?? and like holy SHIT. HOLY HELL. this is really COOL and armin is about to look at jean and smile his bright smart smile but instead mikasa is like, pulling him away and jean’s like WOAH WAIT. and mikasa turns around and she’s like “jean shush, go take your seat at that table annie’s sitting at. the bridesmaids and groomsmen sit up with the bride and groom” and jean’s like. ooh damn. damn. so he goes and sits next to annie and he watches his armin’s hot butt walk away with mikasa’s hot butt and they like go take their seat next to eren at the big table where mostly all the bridesmaids and groomsmen are and there are like 2 empty seats and levi and hanji aren’t here so jean assumes that’s where they’re supposed to sit and it’s like claps for jean good deduction skills. but anyways so then he turns to annie and he’s like “how you likin the wedding so far? still don’t want to be here???” and jean is feeling so smut NO. SMUG. OH MY GOD. SHH SORRY I KNOW I SHOULD DELETE IT AND JUST RETYPE IT TO BE SMUG BTU I CAN’T HELP MYSELF. OMFG OK SOORRY so jean is so SMUG. and annie eyes him and she’s like “nice boner loser.” and jean IS SO SCARED AND HE LOOKS DOWN BECAUSE WHAT? but there is no tent in his pants. there is no circus tent. so he looks back up to give annie a wtf face but she’s giggling kind of. and she’s actually super kawaii and jean’s like “woah when did you get cute annie?” but he hadn’t meant to say it outloud and suddenly she’s like annie stone face again and she’s like “shut it” and jean’s like. UGH. because damn. and then suddenly there’s a hand on jean’s shoulder and he turns around and it’s armin’s grand pappy and he’s like oh shit. and annie’s suddenly VERRRY INTERESTED and armin’s peppep sits down and he’s like “I found a pregnancy test in my house…it yours?” and jean’s like “OH FUCK” but then he’s like “I mean…wait what?” and pappy is like “I think armin’s pregnant” and jean’s like. “um?” and then grandpa is like “the old people I sex with are too old to be preggers so it’s either you or armin.” and then annie is like “what about…hanji.” and then suddenly like. JEAN AND GRANDPA LOOK AT EACH OTHER. AND annie makes a sarcastic gasp and then JEAN iS LIKE “IS. IS SHE PREGNANT?” and then grandpappy laughs and he’s like “omfg no I didn’t actually find a pregnancy test in my house I was just trying yankin you’re chain cause I’m a radical old man” and jean awkwardly laughs because what the fuck mr. arlert and annie laughs and then grandpa walks away and annie’s like “I like him.” and jean’s like “you fuckin WOULD” and they’re DUMB TEENS. and ANYWAYS. SO. THEN. THERE THEY ARE. THE PEOPLE. WHO ARE THE WEDDING PEOPLE. and everyone is sitting at their tables and shit and then like. hanji BUSTS through the door and she’s like “WE’RE HERE!!!” and it’s like. so like omfg. because her hair is a mess again and Irvin gasps like NO FUCK THIS and levi’s suit is uneven and he has hickies everywhere and his hair is a mess and then as soon as they like entered the room they are gone because Irvin has pushed them out because WHAT THE FUCK. and he fixes hanjis hair and covers up some of the hickies on levi’s neck with some emergency foundation that handsome dadman luckily has. so then. SO THEN. he leads them BACK in in a more orderly fashion and everyone claps and it’s exciting and they take their seat and it’s cute and whatever. and so then like. they’re all sitting and the food starts coming out and it’s great and everyone has food now and then Irvin makes this heartfelt speech and everyone makes this like beautiful speech and then Irvin clinks his glass and levi and hanji kiss. and then jean’s like. woah. WOAH. BECAUSE JEAN FORGOT THAT THAT WAS A THING. PEOPLE DO AT WEDDINGS. SO then everyone is finally calming down and eating their food and jean stands up and clinks his glass. and levi and hanji kiss and it’s cute but then he clinks it again. so they kiss again. and then he clinks his glass again and he hits it too hard because annie kicks him to try and get him to stop but he hit it accidentally hard and it shatters and HANJI STANDS UP AND SHE’S LIKE “LOOK. SHATTERED. GLASS. LOOK. OH MY GOD. SEE SEE SEE LEVI SEE SEE THEY TOTALLY ARE LIKE US THEY HAVE SHADDERED GLASS LIKE WHEN I BROKE YOUR WINDOW ARMIN AND JEAN ARE US. I SWEAR TO GOD LEVI” and levi is like “IT DOESN’T FUCKING COUNT??? THEY AREN’T LIKE US AT ALL!” and then jean awkwardly sits back down on the other side of annie cause his seat and side of the table is now full of glass and annie is like “way to go” and jean’s like cram a sock in it ya nerd. SO WHATEVER it calms down again and everyone eats their food and everyone is happy and then. and then it is. the time. for. the cake. and so like. they go and get their cake and like levi gets mad BECAUSE THE GROOM THAT’S SUPPOSED TO REPRESENT HIM like HANJI LIKE pushed it into the cake like Fiona did in Shrek y’all know what I’m talking about. alright so and then levi shoves cake in her face before she can do that to him and she starts laughing so loud and then he helps wipe up her face because he like. HE KNOWS HE MADE IT DIRTY WITH THE CAKE BUT HE CAN’T LIKE. JUST LEAVE It. so it is all very yes. and cute and great and everyone enjoys the open bar except for the minors and then it is time for the thing. the leg thing. where they get the leg thing with the teeth. THE GARTER. So. hanji sits in a chair and like. a heavy beat starts up. what could that be. it’s like.Countdown by beyonce (PLEASE LORD LISTEN TO THIS WHILE READING BECAUSE GOD IT MAKES IT SO MUCH BETTER OH MY GOD) because GOD knows that’s a good song to pull ur new wife’s garter off with ur teeth to. SO OMFG I CAN’T BREATHE I’M SORRY I’M IMAGINING THIS. SO. LEVI HAS HAD A LITTLE WINE ALRIGHT. AND LEVI JUST. IS TIPSY OK. SO. HANJI IS SITTING IN. THE CHAIR OK. AND. LEVI LIKE. BASICALLY. STARTS DOING SOME LAPDANCE ROUTINE LIKE. I. LIKE. FUCK OK JUST. like. hands on the back of her chair and the oOHHOHEEEEHHEYEEEE starts and he like. like. arches his back u know like and then he like. walks all sexy up to be in front of hanji and SITS IN HER LAP AND SHE’S LOSING IT BUT EVERYONE ELSE IS UNCOMFORTABLE BECAUSE THIS IS LIKE SOME WEIRD PORNO OR SOMETHING. AND LEVI IS ACTING LIKE HE’S IN A DAMN MUSIC VIDEO. AND HE STARTS LIKE. LIP SYNCING AND THEN HE SMILES BECAUSE HANJI IS LAUGHING SO FUCKING HARD LIKE SHE CAN’T BREATHE and then he slides down her legs onto the heels of his…feet heels. and like. he’s like crouching and he looks over his shoulder and flips his hair and makes eyecontact with Irvin and winks and Irvin just. LOSES IT. HE WAS KEEPING HIS COOL BUT HE STARTS LAUGHING SO FUCKING. HARD LIKE HE JUST. HE AND HANJI THEY CAN’T FUCKING BREATHE AND EVERYONE IN THE DAMN ROOM IS UNCOMFROTABLE. and then LEVI GOES UNDER HANJI’S DRESS AND HIS HANDS like. Go up her legs and THEN HE STARTS AUGHING BECAUSE SHE DIDN’T SHAVE HER LEGS AND HE LOVES HER SO MUCH OMFG. HAIRY LEG WIFE SUCH A BABE. and then he kiss her inner thigh oh. hello. levi u wild. and she’s like “WOOOPS HELLO!” and she says it so loud and then she’s embarrassed because Irvin is laughing like goofy or something like. he’s like banging on a table because he can’t handle this and even mike is crying and nanaba is like oMFG WHAT and everyone is like oh my god. and then finally levi pulls out from under her dress and he’s got the garter between his teeth and he shoot it at mobilt’s face and mobilt is like NOOOooooOO. and then everyone laughs because THANK THE LORD THAT’S OVER but anyways. so. then the REAL party can start like. levi and hanji then like, someone pulls the chair away and hanji dances with Irvin while levi dances with mike and then also armin’s grandpa starts dancing with them like. they’re trying to do some cool like. ball dancing or something but everyone is bad. except Irvin and mike. so then Irvin and mike start dancing together and wow the crowd. and then levi and hanji have their first dance. and…they. dance to. their song. which is uh…oh shit. um. they’re song is like UH SOME KATAMARI DAMACY SONG CAUSE THEY USED TO PLAY KATAMARI WITH EACH OTHER ALL THE TIME AND IT’S WHATEVER IDK AND THEY’RE DANCING AND THEY’RE SO CUTE AND ARMIN IS SMILING SO HARD AND EREN IS CRYING BECAUSE HE’S SO HAPPY FOR THEM AND EREN AND PETRA ARE HUGGING EACH OTHER AND CRYING BECAUSE CONGRAGULATIONS LEVI SO WHATEVER NOW. NOW THE PARTY FOR ALL THE PEOPLE REALLY BEGINS OK. LIKE NOW THE MUSIC GOING LIKE WOP PLAYING OH SOME SHIT LIKE THE IMPORTANT PART. IS THAT. now the bridesmaids and groomsmen are not needed to stand places so like. armin goes and finds jean and jean is arguing with annie about something while they’re both being wallflowers and armin walks up to jean and he’s like “hey!” and jean looks at him and smiles and he’s like “hey.” and annie is like omf and then armin’s like “can I have this dance?” and jean’s like “hell yeah you can.” and so then armin takes jean’s hand and leads him to the dancefloor where everyone is dancing like a dumbass and being generally really cute and whatever but then also like mike is smelling banana’s hair and banana is like “mike no” but mike is like “mike yes” and so they both SEEM as though they’re doing something super sexual but they aren’t he’s just smelling their hair. so then like armin starts awkwardly dancing in front of jean and jean starts awkwardly dancing and then. armin is like “so you uh, come here often?” and jean is like “What?” and armin blushes and he was like “I was…making a joke or like. you know in those romcoms where…NEVERmiND” and then armin starts dancing his heart out to avoid the direct embarrassment of jean looking at him weirdly but then jean gets it finally and he’s like “no I just moved here from. uh. somewhere” and armin laughs and he’s like “wow that sounds far away” and jean’s like. “well see, not really, I mean, imagine you’re where I used to live and I’m where we are now…and my old home town is about-“ and he like, pulls armin forward and they’re flush against each other and jean’s like “this far away” and then jean JUST. IF HE COULD. HE COULD JUMP UP AND DONW BECAUSE HE JUST THOUGHT OF THAT HIMSELF??? THAT WAS REALLY FUCKING. FLIRTY AND WOW. LIKE. WOW and even armin is like. that was cheesy but well executed so now they’re dancing closer. (aw yeah you know what’s about to happen. you know what’s up. ) armin the boy wonder with the wandering hands throws his arms around jean’s neck right? right. so then jean awkwardly puts his hands on armin’s waist and he’s timid but he ain’t gonna back down this time. no way. and the song changes and it’s some ill beat by like. idk. it’s some sexy song with a sexy beat and everyone is dancing sexy because in this au everyone is like paired up with someone or something. so like. armin is trying really hard to think back to that one (but it might have also possibily been about 20) youtube video(s) he watched about ‘dacin’ in da club’ and how to be ‘a sexy hot piece of ass’. now armin’s a smart guy, and he’s very good at retaining information so despite the fact that it’s been a few years (he keeps telling himself that but he knows it was only a week ago) he remembers a bit of what the videos had said and demonstrated and what he’d uh…practiced…in his room. so he starts moving his hips to the beat and he’s suddenly so fucking thankful for those videos because even though he has no idea how to do anything or like, how to even incorporate those dance moves subtly, he at least can pretend he knows what he’s doing and sometimes that alone can be enough to do thing. so jean like, gets a tighter grip on armin’s hips as he notices they’re moving around a lot. and not…in a bad way. so jean tries to think about something else because he’s at a WEDDING for gosh sakes and even if sexy music is playing and the bride and groom are making out by the DJ it still does not make it proper to…grind against ur cute scholar bf…right? right. probably??? maybe??????? but whatever so armin still dancing like he knows what he’s doing but he doesn’t actually know at all but he looks like he does and jean’s hands are getting sweaty and also his heart is sweating because he wants to kiss this boy. and armin is like. triyng to feel the music but he’s having trouble because jean has a SUPER TIGHT HOLD ON HIS HIPS and is restricting his movement by like. being a loser. so armin leans in as close as he can and he can’t like. really reach jean’s ear without going on his tiptoes a little but he’s like “hey c’mon let’s dance?” and he doesn’t really say it sexy but he whispers it and that’s sexy enough for jean apparently because jean is like YOOOOO but at the same time this is a perfect opportunity to get armin back for like. the whole leg crotch grab thing that happened. like. a SEXY revenge like. he only got to makeout with armin in the bathroom and didn’t get to make him embarrassed. NOT THAT HE. no that’s a like he totally wants to make armin sexily embarrassed like. hell yeah motherfucker let’s go heck yes. so he finds his inner confidence and tries to like, just, center himself, because he’s JEAN KIRSCHTEIN LIKE, c’MON HE’S. JEAN. MOTHERFUCKING. KIRSCHTEIN. HE CAN DO THIS. HE CAN. DO. THIS. so armin is honestly kind of rethinking himself here because it seemed like a super good idea to be sexy but jean isn’t really…responding much like. is he. doing it wrong or…? but then. that tight grip on da hip? dat grip get smooth yo like, still strong, still yeah bro but smooth as silk. idk what that means but it becomes like. confident or whatever. confident hands there mr. jean ;) so he like. starts moving his hips around too and believe it or not jeany boy also happened to try and practice some club dancing. but. his practice was more like. he watched twerking videos and taught himself how to twerk and. he’s actually like really embarrassingly good at it now and he has yet to show the world his moves. but anyways. so he’s like. c’mon jean ur a big boy now u can do this. and armin’s like oh shit hell yeah. so this heavy beat going, sexy times at the levi/hanji wedding u know what’s up. so armin moving his hips in such a manly flirty way now and jean is also doing that. but more like. like armin is the sexy wave and jean is the boat that’s riding on it. woah there. all aboard armin’s dick hello. but the point is that armin is. like. kind of leading the show here. and he decides that they are not close enough. so he slip the leg between the boys leg but just like, lets it hang out there and he’s like “is this the leg you wanted?” and jean is about to get mad because armin’s making fun of him but he can’t really get mad because armin is also hot. so he’s like “ugh you’re such a dick” and armin’s like “nope, sorry, I’m Armin. but if you’re looking to meet a dick I could definitely hook you up with one.” ur a suave piece of shit and jean’s like “oh?” and armin’s like “he lives downtown.” “tinytown.” and then armin hits jean and he’s like “I think we’re getting better with the sexy talk but we need better topics because we can keep it going we just…need sexy things to talk about.” and jean nods in response and they’re both still swinging their hips and then armin like, hikes his leg up and jean’s like yo. and armin’s like “I wish we could just. dance without having to worry about like. people seeing.” and jean’s like “dance like no one’s watching right?” “OH YES I will totally grind my ass up against your crotch while many people WHO I DEFINITELY WILL SEE AGAIN are surrounding us.” and armin is mentally beating himself up because he wants to dance with his man but PEOPLE. JUDGEMNT. OH no. LACK OF CONFIDENCE. DAMMIT. so now they’re like awkwardly like, dancing and aren’t really moving their hips anymore and it’s very sad because they were sexy before and now they’re just sad horny boys. but they aren’t that sad because they genuinely like being around each other and don’t NEED to be doing the sex things but STILL. why NOT do the sex things when u can??? so anyways the song ends and then suddenly eren is grabbing armin and he’s like “my turn” and jean’s like. GJRUUUEOUROWUR but then mikasa takes jean’s hand and jean’s like WHAT and mikasa is like “let’s dance yo” and jean’s like. ugh. so then armin and eren’s song. comes on like. WHAT ARE THE ODDS a remix of “don’t drop that thun thun” WOULD BE BLASTING OUT THE SPEAKERS YO. SO. so. then these boys. these two boys. god damn jean is like, awkwardly shifting around with mikasa and he’s watching armin and eren and they are. BUSTING A MOVE. OK SO LIKE. ARMIN AND EREN ARE JUST. FUCKING KILLLING THE DANCEFLOOR OK. AND SINCE THEY’RE FRIENDS AND IT’S NOT REALLY LIKE. SEXUAL FOR THEM, THEY’RE JUST, JOKE GRINDING LIKE. HOT DAMN. LIKE, not really like HELLO grinding but more like BEST BRO WE FORGET WE HAVE DICKS CAUSE I LOVE U MAN grinding. the point is that it is not sexual it is very platonic grinding but it makes jean jealous because???? he just spent like 5 mins trying to get up the courage to do that with the boy and eren can just do it like it’s the easiest thing and mikasa is like “jean I can practically SEE the jealously coming out of your skin.” and jean’s like “WHY HOW. dO HE DO??? THAT???” and mikasa is like “what? oh that? they do that all the time” and that makes JEAN EVEN MORE. JEALOUS BECAUSE. WHAT. HE HASn’T. EVEN LIKE. FUCKIn. GRINDED ONCE ON HIS HOT BLOND AND DUMB EREN HAS DONE IT NUMEROUS TIMES. “OH REALLY??” and mikasa is like “yeah. it’s their favorite dance to do.” and jean is like. DAMN cause he just. WANNA. HE just. and SUDDEN CONFIDENCE HE HAS CONFIDENCE THAT IS FUELD BY JEALOUS RAGE. SO HE LIKE. TRIES TO BREAK OUT OF MIKASA’S DEATH GRIp but he can’t. and she’s like “don’t u interfere with their fun they haven’t done this dance in weeks” and jean is like “mikasa u don’t understand” and she’s like “don’t u interfere with my boys” and jean is like damn. so whatever he finishes the awkward dance with the mikasassy and then as soon as she lets him go he’s loosening his tie and marching over to armin and eren and he’s like “excuse ME BUT-“ and eren inturrupts like “yo sup jean you can dance with armin again, ttyl” and then jean is like no I was going to get MAD at you stop being a my FRIEND FOR A SECOND WILL YOU??? and armin is like “hey jean you wanna go get a drink or something, I’m beat” and jean’s like “NONO WE MUST DANCE ARMIN” and armin’s like “no we should get a drink, I wanna congragulate hanji and levi again too.” and jean’s like NO. because he finally had all this confidence but. armin is walking off the dance floor and jean is not going to make the blond cute dance if he don’t want to so jean like. mentally stores that confidence for later and they go and get some soda and like, hanji and levi are sitting at some table except levi is like draped across hanji’s lap and armin’s like “heey” and hanji is like “BABE” and they hug and levi kind of joins the hug because he’s like smushed between them and then they chat for a bit and armin fixes some of hanji’s smeared makeup and she thanks him and they’re all joking and jean is way less awkward this time and is actually pretty chill and he’s enjoying himself and then hanji suddenly stands up and levi almost falls to the ground but jean catches his arm and then hanji grabs armin and Drags him away and jean is about to ask levi what’s up but levi kind of fast walks/trips/can’t walk in a straight line after them so jean follows and all four of them end up in the elevator and hanji is like “I wanna show you guys something” and jean feels super special right now. so they end up on the roof and they’re like WHAT’RE WE DOING HERE but then the elevator doors open and this is a fancy ass roof. it’s a very pretty roof with like, plants and lights and also. there is no one but them???? WOWZA THAT’S RAD. so then like. they walk out of the elevator and armin and jean are like. looking around and smiling because it’s a nice night out the air is crisp and yes and then suddenly music and. jean almost cries because. it’s an instrumental version of “I touch myself” and. armin DOESN’T KNOW THIS SONG BUT apparently jean does because he starts singing the words and then armin is like oh my god what the fuck is this song. and jean’s like “I DON”T WANT. ANYBODY ELSE. WHEN I THINK ABOUT U I TOUCH MYSELF” and armin is laughing and feels like a dumb and then hanji and levi try and quietly leave but aren’t quiet at all and they knock over a plant but who the fuck care anymore anyways right who care because now boys standing alone on roof. hanji is the best cousin in the world because she fucking PLANNED THIS shit OUT. and jean like wants to dance so he starts pretend tap dancing cause his shoes make cool noises and then armin also does that and then they’re laughing because they’re lame and then they hug and jean like runs a finger through armins hair and smiles hE SMILES THAT SMILE. OK HE SMILES THE SMILE THAT IS LIKE. AN ANIME MOMENT SMILE LIKE. THE REAL ASS SMILE OK NOT LIKE. A SMIRK LIKE. THIS IS LIKE. FUCKIN HOW DO I EVEN LIKE. OK LIKE. FUCKING LIKE. HOW MAKOTO LOOKS AT HARU AND THEN AFTER THE THING HOW HARu SMILES I’m SORRY FOR TALKING ABOUT FREE BUT IT’S ONE OF THOSE SMILES I’M SORRY OH MY GOD IDK HOW ELSE TO EXPLAIN IT BUT IT’S LIKE THAT OK OMFG OK OK OK OK OK JUST IMAGINE PLS OKFGMgfMFOGimr OK I’m SO. I JUST ATE SOME FOOD SO I GOT. LIKE. MY BLOODSUGAR IS LIKE HELLO OK OK OK. ok ok ok so jean’s like “how’d you like the party?” and armin hugs him and he’s like “it was fun, I’m glad you could come.” and jean’s like “i’m glad we spent the summer together” and then armin hugs him tighter and he’s like “I’m glad eren couldn’t come with on the roadtrip” and jean’s like “I’m glad you asked me out.” and armin’s like “I’m glad you’re hot.” and jean’s like “I’m glad you’re hot.” and they both laguh and little and jean rests his dumb chin on armin’s head and armin is like “hey jean.” and jean’s like “yeah?” and armin’s like “I don’t want to break up.” and jean’s laughs and he’s like “good cause I don’t want to either” and then armin’s like “I mean…I don’t want to break up when we leave for college.” and jean breaks out of the hug a little just to look down at armin and he’s like. “same.” and armin’s like “I don’t care about…distance jean. I. really, really like you uh…” and jean’s like “no me too! I. I mean we can skype and call on the phone and we won’t even be that far away like. only a few hours!” and armin’s like “I would offer to. transfer to your college but…I’m not gonna do that because. education is important” and jean laughs again and he’s like “I know. I wouldn’t ask you to do that, that’s fuckin dumb.” and armin laughs and jean’s like “I really like you too…and there’s no fuckin way we’re breaking up because of distance. no fucking way.” and then armin smiles and he DOES THE THING. where he looks away and smiles u know like. and jean is like. DAMn. so he kisses the boy because HE FUCKING CAN??? and it’s a messy kiss but passion like the rivers u know. the pASSiOn is STRONG. but then suddenly the urgency says hello because college and they just realized they won’t be able ot just see each other every day and they’re like SHIT. SO like. armin is like OH DAMN. so he like. grips jean’s nice tux like. ARMIN DON’T CRINKLE THAT TUX but neither of them CARE but jean’s ma is gonna be mad except she totally isn’t. so then anyways. they’re kissing and breathing and then jean laughs and he’s like “you taste like fanta” and armin laughs and it’s like jean what the fuck why u always thinking about how this boy tastes ur such a loser and idk how to make this kiss scene any different from all the other ones I’ve ever explaied so like. ok uh. like. ok. um. OK. SO. then armin’s like “you taste like coke” and jean is like “ ’s good?” and armin nods and then just like. pushes on jean’s shoulders so he gets the message to sit down and then armin sits down in front of him and carefully pulls him into another kiss and then they do the cute forehead touch thing and he’s like “hey” and jean’s like “hi” and armin’s like “I REALLY REALLY LIKE YOU” and jean’s like “I LIKE YOU TOO” and suddenly they’re both full of emotion again like YOU KNOW THAT FEELING WHERE YOU’RE TOTALLY FINE BUT THEN SUDDENLY YOU’RE JUST LIKE. YOU CAN’T EVEN BREATHE YOUR EMOTIONS ARE SO STRONG AGAIN AND like. armiN TACKLES the boy. FOOTBALL GAME OF KISS. and jeans’ like. WOAH. and he kind of bumps his head but barely notices because he actually does have a hard skull ok whatever so then armin is just straddling that boy but like. laying down over him? does that make sense who even care. and they’re both just laughing because they’re gay. and then jean kisses the top of armin’s head and this is so FLUFF WHAT THE FRICK and armin’s just like “JEAN I REALLY LIKE YOU SO MUCH” and HE IS LIKE. GRIppING JEAN SO TIGHT AND JEAN GRIPPING BACK and he’s just like “I KNOW YOU JUST. SAID SO I REALLY LIKE YOU TOO. I REALLY LIKE YOU ARMIN I LIKE YOU SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO MUCH!” and then they kissing again and it very cute and like. it’s how you’d kiss someone on th beach, except they’re on a roof and the bass is BOOM BOOM BAM underneath them and there is a small breeze and some weird instrumental music is playing in the background and they kissing and laughing and smling and happy because UGRUHGurHGuhrgurhGU and then there is some touching of the arm’s butt again because jean like that butt a lot. and then armin rolls off jean and lays on his back and they look at the stars for a little bit because they can see them and it’s nice out and they’re just laying on a roof in tuxes and this is dumb and they both have cray ruffled hair and their ties and suits are dead and they are LAME and jean doesn’t know any STARS but he knows the lyrics to the instrumental versions of these songs so he keeps singing quietly and armin’s like “you have a nice voice jean” and jean’s like UHOIMGORigm so he ROLLS ON TOP OF THAT BOY AND KISSES HIS FACE ALL OVER AND THEN KISSES HIS NECK AND THEN HE ALSO TICKLES THE Arm AND IT VERY CUTE AND THEY KISSU KISSU AND HOORAY KKSISISYSISKEsIEKSIEkIS and then Sex??????? no. no sex. they just kiss tonight. the sex comes later in life. they no sex yet for while. AND THAT IS. WHERE I’m GOING TO END THIS FUCKING THING BECAUSE IT ENDED UP BEING 95 PAGES IN WORD AND Is 34805 WORDS AND THIS IS FUCKING DUMB WHY DID THIS TAKE SO LONG OH MY GOD I’M EMBARRASSED THIS IS SO LAME oMFGOMRg WHATEVER I’m NOT EVEN SORRY I’m NOT EVEN GONNA SAY THERE WILL BE A PART 3 BECAUSE PART 3 IS JUST THAT LEVI AND HANJI GO ON A HONEYMOON AND ARMIN AND JEAN GO TO COLLEGE AND THEN AFTER THEY REALIZE THEY CAN’T ACTUALLY MEET AS OFTEN AS THEY WaNTED TO THE NEXT TIME THEY MEET THEN THEY DO THE SEX AND IT’S REALLY NOT THAT GReAT BUT IT IS EMOTIONAL AND THEY’RE LIKE WOW WOW WOW BUT THEN THE NEXT TIMES THEY TRY THE SEX IT WORKS OUT BETTER AND IS VERY FUN THEN THEY SEX A LOT BECAUSE THEY’RE DUMB BOY BUT THEY STILL EAT LOTS OF PIZZA AND KiSS AND THEY ALSO HAVE FIGHTS AND STUFF BUT THAT’S TO BE EXPECTED AND ANNIE AND EREN KEEP DATING AND THEN THEY ALL END UP GOING TO BERT AND REINER’S WEDDING OR SOMETHING AND JEAN AND ARMIN NEVER EVER BREAK UP EVER AND I’m HAPPY AND EVERYONE IS HAPPY AND HANJI HAS A BABY aND TRIES TO NAME HER BEAN BUT LEVI SAYS NO

#gosh this is really AHAHAHAHAHA #oh tinkerlu is perfection #jearmin #shingeki no kyojin #text #fanfic #jean x armin #tinkerlu #jean kirschstein #jean kirstein #armin arlert

Does anyone know where tinkerlu went I loved her art it was so unique does she still exist anywhere on the internet

#tinkerlu

I hope tinkerlu is doing well

#she made the best davekats #i wasn't around when she deleted #so sad #i wonder where she is now #tinkerlu

•18+ Adults Only

Watch Anya Live on Cam

Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.

✓ Live Streaming✓ Interactive Chat✓ Private Shows✓ HD Quality✓ Free Actions

Free to watch • No registration required • HD streaming

Tinkerlu pls come back I miss you

#tinkerlu #I made myself sad #:(

I GOT AN ASK ABOUT TINKERLU SO I WENT INTO THE TINKERLU TAG AND MADE MYSELF SAD

#her work is still here....#preserved....#where are you tinkerlu #bring the rhyme #tinkerlu

Petition to bring Tinkerlu back because they were so amazing and cool

#i cry #i just saw her art ugh its been so long tink i miss you #cl #tinkerlu

so jean like, tries to straighten his clothes out as best he can but he can’t make them like, fully straight 'cause they’re covered in his gay

tinkerlu

#this made cry #jearmin #tinkerlu #quote

•18+ Adults Only

Watch Anya Live on Cam

Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.

✓ Live Streaming✓ Interactive Chat✓ Private Shows✓ HD Quality✓ Free Actions

Free to watch • No registration required • HD streaming

jearmin roadtrip au

this is just a throwback of tinkerlu. she deactivated her tumblr wherein her tumblr is full of treasures especially jearmin like gosh i really miss her.

anyway here’s her fic:

#jearmin #jean kirschstein #jean kirstein #armin arlert #jean x armin #tinkerlu #shingeki no kyojin #fanfic #sugoi fanfic #levihan #i really miss tinkerlu

part 2 of tinkerlu’s jearmin roadtrip au

#gosh this is really AHAHAHAHAHA #oh tinkerlu is perfection #jearmin #shingeki no kyojin #text #fanfic #jean x armin #tinkerlu #jean kirschstein #jean kirstein #armin arlert

Does anyone know where tinkerlu went I loved her art it was so unique does she still exist anywhere on the internet

#tinkerlu

I hope tinkerlu is doing well

#she made the best davekats #i wasn't around when she deleted #so sad #i wonder where she is now #tinkerlu

•18+ Adults Only

Watch Anya Live on Cam

Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.

✓ Live Streaming✓ Interactive Chat✓ Private Shows✓ HD Quality✓ Free Actions

Free to watch • No registration required • HD streaming

Tinkerlu pls come back I miss you

#tinkerlu #I made myself sad #:(

I GOT AN ASK ABOUT TINKERLU SO I WENT INTO THE TINKERLU TAG AND MADE MYSELF SAD

#her work is still here....#preserved....#where are you tinkerlu #bring the rhyme #tinkerlu

Petition to bring Tinkerlu back because they were so amazing and cool

#i cry #i just saw her art ugh its been so long tink i miss you #cl #tinkerlu

Top Posts Tagged with #tinkerlu | Tumlook

Trending Tags

Last Seen Tags

#tinkerlu

Trending Tags

Last Seen Tags

#tinkerlu