#timkerr

Faith is a thread I see running through many of your songs. Sometimes it's asking questions, sometimes it's yearning for something more. What was your religious upbringing like?

I grew up in an unpleasant catholic household. The Brompton's Cocktail song "Heaven Sent" was an attempt to point out how a young brain will absorb the religious myths and try to process the nonsense, with unintended results. I thought church was a creepy cultish goth show, I wasn't wrong, but I don't think that was supposed to be the take-away.

I couldn't decide if the song was sad or funny. Adam Schlesinger was producing our record, he told me to spend ten minutes thinking depressing thoughts about religious oppression, go into the studio and sing a version. So I did, I felt very sad. Then he told me to spend ten minutes imagining myself in a lime green suit, walking down the street without a care in the world. I did that, then sang a happy take.  Afterwards I went into the control room to listen. Both takes were so identical, when played at the same time they almost cancelled each other out.  

I have my own take, but what is "...Happy Birthday Ayn Rand" about? Or is that a song you'd like to leave up to interpretation?

When Ayn Rand died I read an obituary that was titled "Selfish." It was very critical of her and of her writing, I'd never read a negative obituary before. The next day I met a woman who gave me a lot of tired, drunken advice like, "Don't grow up to be like me."

My partner Jude and I started imagining what a birthday party for Ayn Rand would be like — people would bring a gift they intended to borrow back later, and shove pieces of birthday cake into their pockets when no one was looking. All of those things melted together into a song about selfishness. I had mixed feelings about the song but Adam liked it a lot so we recorded it.

I'm interested, what's your take on this song?

My take on  "...Happy Birthday Ayn Rand" was sort of celebrating someone's birthday who didn't seem to have a lot of fun when she was alive. Or at least that's the impression I got when I read a biography about her (Goddess of the Marketplace). She's an odd historical figure with a lot of contradictions. Being an independent woman who supported political ideas that would've restricted a woman's place in society. Being that strident, in that time, must've been very lonely. Especially in the conservative movement.

Was it a bit strange going from bands with big personalities like Two Nice Girls and Neo Boys to being front and center on your own?

I never thought of myself as a singer or as a leader of a band. When Two Nice Girls disbanded, Thor Lindsay of Tim/Kerr Records signed me to a contract. I wanted to find a singer to work with but Thor wanted me to sing, he liked my voice. I got pushed into that position a little bit, I was uncomfortable there. I love to write music and record it, play guitar, and collaborate with other musicians.  I'm not a front-person or band leader type and I don't think I was good at it.

This might be a silly question, but do you have any tattoos? "Tattoo Urge" kind of splits the difference in being both interested and weirded out about the things people get permanently etched on their skin.

I have two tattoos, a treble clef on one arm and a design I made up on the other.  "Tattoo Urge" came from a poem of the same name written by my partner Jude O'Nym. The story of the woman covered in tattoos dedicated to her ex-husband is true.

What are your memories working with Adam Schlesinger?

We recorded Brompton's Cocktail in pieces, four sessions over an eight month period. Cory Robbins owns the label we were on — Robbins. Previously he was co-founder of Profile Records and signed Run-DMC. He got us in touch with Adam Schlesinger through a mutual friend. We would rehearse in a space in Manhattan (Adam on drums, Jude on bass, me on guitar) then go to The Place recording studio in the morning. The Place preceded Stratosphere Sound, it was owned by Adam, Andy Chase (engineer on Brompton's Cocktail and Ivy member), and James Iha (Smashing Pumpkins). I loved that studio, it had a great vibe. It was near west 14th street and 9th avenue in what was a crummy part of NYC, above a bakery, so as I walked up the stairs there was this weird smell of bread and urine.

Adam was a great guy. He was sharp, intelligent, creative, crazy talented and the funniest person I ever met. He was hard working and didn't suffer fools, but he was very generous with his time and ideas.  Andy Chase is also a great guy, a talented musician with incredible engineering/listening skills. Jude O'Nym co-wrote the songs, played bass and sang. Mike Deneen (Q Division) mixed the record. I felt very lucky to be there with those creative people. Every minute of working on Brompton's Cocktail was fun and inspiring.

We were in the middle of recording when we heard the news that Princess Diana had died in a car accident. The story ran all week in the papers. We were also in the studio when we heard Mother Teresa died. There was little mention of her passing in the news. Jude remarked the lack of coverage was kind of strange. Adam looked thoughtful, walked over to the piano, sat down and sang "goodbye little nun, though we didn't know you at all, you had the strength to stand though you were barely five feet tall..."

He was quick, and he could play anything, any song, any instrument. He played drums, keyboards, guitar and was a fantastic bass player. He had high expectations, people around him would rise to the occasion.

We were recording a song called "Silver Shine," the basic tracks had been laid down, Jude and I were overdubbing parts. I was playing electric guitar and had just done a run-through of the song. Adam said, "Wow, it sounds like you've practiced really hard!" I proudly said, "Yes I have!" I felt pretty good about myself at that moment.  Andy rolled tape, Adam came up behind me and clamped a capo on the neck of my guitar, which instantly made me lost and confused. Tape was rolling, I didn't know where the notes were anymore, I just started playing. That is the take heard on the track and the best I've ever played guitar.

Adam was overdubbing piano on a song called "Happy Go Luckiness." The song meanders, so he needed me to stand at the piano and count out measures with my fingers so he could look up and know where he was. I was dutifully counting, he was playing, it was so beautiful I started crying. I lost track of where we were, he looked up and saw my tears and just rolled his eyes. You can hear on the track that moment when he started comping on one chord, lost, waiting for the voices to come in so he could orient himself.

He rolled his eyes at me, but I knew deep down he cared. So I went into the control room, winked at Andy and told him, “Now I want to record a track of slide guitar." I knew how much Adam disliked the blues so when Andy rolled tape I started playing every blues lick I knew, pentatonic clichés everywhere, total crap.   When the song stopped Andy yelled, "You're on fire! That was the best you've ever played!"  Adam had a habit, when he was nervous, of picking up a roll of tape and tearing off little pieces. I looked over at him, bits of tape were flying around, he looked very worried. I said, "Right? I'm on fire!  Andy, since I'm playing so well today, how about another take?" Adam jumped up and started to protest, "Wait, stop, are you sure you like this?  No, no, wait, wait..." Andy rolled tape and I played the part I had always intended to  — two simple notes in the chorus. When it was over Adam said "fuck you" and left the room. It still makes me laugh. I loved Adam.

To me, every song on Brompton's Cocktail sounds like a single. I read an interview where it sounds like Robbins was excited about the album. What do you think happened?

Thank you for the nice words! There are many reasons the record wasn't heard, some of the reasons are business related and I can't speak to them. Robbins is a dance label, not a pop rock label, possibly that had an influence. If you look up Robbins online, we are not listed in their roster of artists that have been on their label, but I promise we were. That might be a hint, though, hahaha.

The industry was changing quickly at the time, college radio stations were going off the air, indie record labels and record stores were closing. We didn't have money to tour to support the release. Being female and being gay were not working in my favor. I faced a lot of sexism and felt very worn out by it. By the time it all wrapped up I'd had enough of the music industry. I love Cory, though.  He's successfully navigated the business while maintaining his integrity. I admire him.

Adam was killed by COVID in April of 2020 and I'm heartbroken about that. Someone breathed out when he breathed in and a few weeks later he was gone. I haven't listened to Brompton's Cocktail since then, I tried but it made me too sad. I appreciate the chance to talk about it now, it was a very special time for Jude and I and I love remembering all the laughs and good music. Thank you!

I've always been fascinated with Tim/Kerr Records. They had everything from Pere Ubu to Everclear. How did that signing come about?

K.T. Kincaid played bass in Neo Boys and she worked at T/K, so that was my connection. I had only met Tim Kerr once before, but I knew Thor Lindsay (who co-founded T/K) from the time I lived in Portland. He was a lovely man and a big supporter of Neo Boys. Our record release party was held at his record shop, Singles Going Steady. When the band I was in at the time, Two Nice Girls, announced our final tour, Thor called and offered me a contract. There were some great bands on T/K over the years. Thor had good taste.

How did Tiny Top come about? What did you do during the break between Brompton's Cocktail and Tiny Top?

After Brompton's Cocktail was released we got together a great band  — Keri Cinquena on drums, Dan Crandall on guitar, Lee Ahlbrandt on keyboards, Andy Loomis on guitar and Jude on bass. We played a handful of fun shows in Austin and on both coasts to promote the record. A bit later I started Tiny Top as an avenue for Jude and I to release a few tracks. I had some health issues at the time that overshadowed everything else, so I was dealing with that.

Tiny Top flips the songwriting team a bit and gives Jude the spotlight. Was that a relief following Brompton's Cocktail?

Yes! We have always written songs together, both music and lyrics, and still do. But medications I had to take wrecked what little singing voice I had. Jude stepped up and said she would try singing. I knew she could hit the notes, she'd done background vocals for years, but she had been too shy to sing much more than that. I love her voice, I wish she had always been the singer, and I think she is getting better with every song we write.

Tiny Top deals with some heavy themes on halfway to everywhere. Is it hard to listen to that album now?

You know, I never have. We put those songs up and I was done. I'm pretty sure the mixes suck because I wasn't well and couldn't really hear at the time. I'm also pretty sure some of the songs are terrible. But I wrote and recorded "Jude" on the sickest day of my life and it's the best song I'll ever write.

"My Lucky Shirt," from eighty milliseconds behind the now, contemplates the life of stuff after we're gone. I've been thinking about that a lot lately. What inspired that song?

That song came to me in one whole piece. Both "My Lucky Shirt" and "Say You Do" were written before I got sick, and they both deal with illness and mortality. I honestly think my subconscious mind was trying to send me an important message about my health.

What inspired the Tiny Top song about Jeanne Manford?

On June 25, 1972 Jeanne Manford, and her family, marched down a New York City street with her gay son, Morty, in one of the early gay pride marches. She carried a sign that read "parents of gays unite in support for our children." In 1972, that was considered a shocking thing to do. She then went on to co-found P-FLAG, which was an acronym for Parents and Friends of Lesbians And Gays. The name has changed a bit but the organization is still thriving.

I never met Jeanne Manford. She died on January 8, 2013. My birthday was the following day, Jude and I were walking out the door to celebrate it when we got the news. Hearing that she was gone deeply depressed me. 

My parents were unloving and intolerant. The idea that a gay child might have a parent like Jeanne Manford, someone who would love and support them, was unimaginable to me and probably to almost every gay individual alive at that time. I admired her so much. To me she represented hope and the idea it might be ok someday to love myself after growing up shaken by so much disdain and judgment.

I told Jude I no longer felt like celebrating. She said, "Write a song, that's what you always do when you're sad. What would you say to Jeanne Manford if you could speak to her now?"  I told her I always wished for someone like Jeanne Manford in my life, and if I could say one thing to her I would ask, "Will you walk with me, Jeanne?" So I wrote that sentence on a piece of paper, we cried, then went out to celebrate Jeanne Manford's life.

Tiny Top starts to expand things in a new direction, but Shimmer is a bigger leap. What was some stuff that influenced you to put synthesized sounds at the forefront?

I liked synths well enough growing up, but in the 1980s people started to use them to poorly replicate other sounds  — a horn section or a Rhodes electric piano. Like most of the rest of humanity I started to feel like synthesizers were crap. But in the 1990s I heard Nine Inch Nails, Radiohead, Air...and they reminded me that synths can sound awesome and beautiful.

I could never afford a synthesizer, but Adam Schlesinger had a Roland Jupiter 8  — a huge, intimidating analog synth that I was fascinated by. One day he set it up for me, running it through an old Fender Bandmaster amp. He told me to spend an hour or so just messing around with it. The sound was massive. That got me hooked and the Jupiter 8 is all over Brompton's Cocktail.

Years later when Jude and I recorded "On The Day Of The Forty-Four Sunsets" I used a computer soft-synth for the "string" parts. I didn't like the sound of it very much and decided to get a synthesizer that would be a good fit for Jude's voice.  I came across a deal on a Nord Lead A1 so we bought it. Since then we've also gotten an SE Boomstar and a D.S.I. OB-6. I'm a guitar player at heart but I also like to play around on piano and synth, and Jude plays a lot of the synth parts on our newer music.

I bought a few guitar pedals during lockdown. I realized often times I like the sound of the pedals more than I like the sound of my guitar. I record my guitar on a different track than I record the audio coming from the pedals, then I erase the guitar. So some tracks that sound like synths are my electric guitar minus my electric guitar.

the weather inside is dedicated to Adam Schlesinger. That's such a personal EP, yet it kind of fits some of the things everyone experienced during the height of the pandemic. Was it therapeutic to make it?

We decided to make a "lockdown" record. During the first spring of the pandemic our county shuttered all the parks. We're outdoor types, we love to hike and kayak, but we were stuck inside so we needed to make the best of it.   We knew early on the seriousness of the situation (Adam died, Jude is a registered nurse, my father was in memory care) so we were always, and still are, vigilant. We struggled along with our community and with our friends, trying to keep our loved ones safe and sustain ourselves.

Writing the music kept us busy, and thinking and talking about Adam was good for our hearts.

What inspired the devil's parting gift? It seems to take things into a more open-ended direction.

"The Devil's Parting Gift" was a phrase I used to describe the hard lessons I learned about myself (and other people) while I was sick. You go through hell, you come out the other side and are rewarded with the curse of seeing things more clearly, as painful as that is. The hippie generation invested a lot in the myth that "enlightenment" brings peace, ohmmmm, I grew up with that lie. These days I agree with Thom Yorke — "the truth will mess you up".

I don't know exactly what you mean, but I like the idea of "open-ended." For both Jude and I, making music has been a life-long process of getting over our insecurities, our troubled childhoods, our preconceived notions, our self-criticism and doubt. We're still on that journey. Without music I wouldn't have survived.

What music have you been listening to lately? Anything you think people should check out?

Lately we've been listening to a lot of music out of Phoenix, AZ, like Garrison Jones and Alassane. There's a vibrant scene there (or was pre-pandemic). Some critics call it new jazz, I don't know about that, it's just music that flows freely and sweetly. Check out Alassane "The Chaser."