#timing techniques

The other day I was watching a vid from a Vedic astrologer that I'm very much into. He was talking about marriage and its timing techniques, and how much he disliked the whole topic because, more often than not, he had to tell very ugly truths that many of his clients hated or were deeply disappointed to hear.

He explained that, in the first place, there are times in which marriage is not even meant to happen in a person's life (on a positive note, let's remember that no marriage is NOT the same as no romantic relationships / think of the differences between the 5th and 7th houses). Second, for many of us, getting married before turning 30 —or around our first Saturn return— will nearly always guarantee divorce at some point in time. And third: sometimes, people are meant to be in highly damaging and disturbing relationships with their spouses, because it's part of what they are here to learn. There's no way around that one. It's definitely not an easy pill to swallow!

"People forget that marriage is one of the most karmic —and sometimes challenging— elements in a birth chart," he explained.

Isn't that so true? We know karma is a real bitch sometimes, so... what happens when we wed it? LOL. Let's hope that we all find for ourselves a nice and decent gentleman or lady as a fair pay for our noble deeds. But if it's not the case, I guess the good news is that, if we're in the middle of a shitty marriage, it means we are successfully releasing our past baggage. It could be that later in life, after we learn our heart wrenching lessons, we stumble upon our dream come true. It could also be in our next life, tough. But we still can enjoy good sex, tons of laughter and amazing company without having to sell our soul to a list of binding clauses in the meantime.

Because, let's remember that wedding someone is not the same as loving someone. That someone wants to marry us does not mean they actually love us. And, on the other hand, if you're happily married, my heart is excited for you! Please take care of it, cherish it and enjoy it as much as you can. Know that it's one of your gifts for this lifetime, and your soul deserves it a 100%!

As a closing thought, I believe It'd be really good for our mental health to stop romanticizing cultural aspects of our society that may end up in horror stories. Whether we choose to marry or not —regardless of being astrologically fit or unfit for it—, I think the moral of the story is to choose loving ourselves first and foremost, because this is how we may begin healing ourselves and help others do the same. Because if working with karma is not healing, then what is it? In the process, we may attract our soulmate and have our happily-ever-after, or, maybe, we might discover that our existence holds equal or more fulfillment than someone who's married without this figure in our lives.

Whichever the case, let's love, anyway. First ourselves, and then others... freely, unconditionally, without the need to call someone ours or us theirs legally. We never are, anyway. 💗

Thanks for reading!

while it's true that the 12th house is considered a more difficult place for planets to bring about their significations, it's not the end of the world! the major (traditional) remediating factors are:

sign: if venus is dignified or exalted in this particular sign, she'll be stronger. similarly, if she's in mutual reception with another planet, it puts her in a place of high honor similar to dignity

sect: if you are a night chart, venus is the sect benefic and thus has the most power to bring about good for you. in a day chart that duty falls more to jupiter

aspects: a trine from jupiter is especially helpful, but any contact (ptolemaic/major aspects) with the other benefic, as well as contact with the lord (ruler) of whatever sign she's in, will help venus out. (conversely, challenging aspects from malefics may hinder her ability to do a out of outwardly visible work, such as a square from saturn indicating a delay in realizing some of your venusian aspirations. it may still happen, but later in life than you'd like)

in terms of how this venus plays out in your life, look to the houses that contain taurus and libra in your chart. venus is responsible for bringing these topics to fruition. for example, if you have a taurus 4th house, venus in the 12th may have difficulty helping you own lots of land or a big house. however, demetra george suggests that while planets in cadent houses are traditionally weak wrt to outer events, we can use the modern psychological model to infer that this work is internal or introspective. so in this example you may reach some kind of wisdom and peace about family, homes and land from meditation and other solitary 12th house practices.

in general being in the 12th house means a planet operates below (or above?) your level of awareness and may show itself mysteriously at seemingly random times. venus has broad significations of love, beauty, harmony, and the arts, but her specific influence in your life depends on the rest of your chart. you may have to do some digging or slow down/change paces to really figure out how venus works for you psychologically. in general 12th house planets can show where you work against yourself, but i think you can reduce the damage by bringing them to consciousness, and in general 12th house work can have profound effects. in your case, because venus is a benefic i think this doesn't indicate self-sabotage as much as helpful messages being a bit muffled, or assistance that's a little subtler or harder to see.

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