#timetorenew

As of today, I have been attending Zumba Fitness classes for over 10 years and teaching them for over 9.  I am able to bench press the bar only, without any additional weight. I can do somewhere in the region of one-half to one pull up. I can run for no more than 3 miles, maybe more if there was a stick with carrot cake at the end. I can still pick up my 11 year old, who is more adult sized than fun sized, and I can pet her arm until she falls asleep without dozing off for myself. In many ways I feel invincible.

The one thing I cannot do is accept my age and the inevitability of decline. Many of my friends are celebrating milestone birthdays, or milestone weight loss, and I continue to gain in both. I adhere moisturizer to my face twice a day but it looks thinned out and frustrated. I exercise 5-6 times a week but I continue to gain weight. The clothes that fit me most comfortably are edging on the uncomfortable, and moreso, the skin I am in is pulled taut.

Something’s got to give. And I am not sure it is more of me.