It's time to actually give up this mask I put up. I'm not perfect. I have so many flaws, and that's okay bc im human. It's time to actually change it, tho (if i can) instead of just dwelling on it. I'm tired of having this haunting feeling of my past. It's a gut-wrenching sickness feeling. Was it worth it? Probably not, especially over a dude...like who even am I anymore? I never want to lose myself due to that reason anymore. That was never me. I really needed this thi so maybe it was worth being so delusional and crazy and mindless just to gain all of it back FOR MYSELF. Not for everyone. I need to remind myself, "Why am I here? What is my purpose?". He dragged me down his dying endless hole so subtly. I had no clue until it was too late, but was it really? The way you get them is how you lose them. I need to be a dream girl to myself, not anyone else bc that's just a mask. That's just an act. It's just a facade. It's time to show me all the love and attention I seek from others bc what you seek from others is what you can be giving yourself. What you seek in others is what you lack for yourself. I know im capable of getting myself back and dropping him once and for all. It's time to reclaim the power I once had and have always had. It's time to use it on me now. It's time to let go of the past and walk into my new skin, my new mindset, and my best self. It's time to forgive and forget.......everything and everyone, including myself. I need a clean slat and clearing everyone who has hurt me. It will do justice for me to let go. I'm tired of the weights dragging me down since I was 9. I want to be free. I will be free. I will soon be THE Jomari again, but so truthfully this time. Nothing can stop me, but me.