Top Posts Tagged with #time...the years...where has it all gone...?

pov you’re in the smoke pit at the circus and one of the clowns is trying to get you to step a little bit to the right. yeah to the right. just a liiiiittle bit more. perfect. no sweetheart don’t even worry about that giant X on the ground it’s definitely fine

#its clown night at the club in a couple weeks and obviously i am going and i wanted to do a quick test run to prove i still got it #(and also that my makeup hasnt all just turned to dust due to age and non-use)#and i am realizing with great horror. i think this may have been the first time all year that i've clowned up. my whimsy. where has it gone #anyways. swankie's not dead he's just on sabbatical <3 #kenposting #clownposting #clown #clownblr

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DUSTTALE GENOCIDE BUT ITS MULTIPLAYER

speaking of players here's my take on mtt's players because i think theyre so fucking stupid /pos

#tricule art #i am not a personal subscriber of the smthnew chara is chara with a fucked up mindset interpretation #because i think that chara has gone through enough slander that i dont wanna stretch it to make them be even more asshole #plus i think having smthnew player just be using chara's body as an avatar allows for deeper connection with the players for killer #why are they acting like chara in something new then?! ITS OBVIOUS: aim is a chara ROLEPLAYER #ive seen dust gamer and dust streamer stuff here and there over my time being a dust fam #especially tbat one recent post from someone here of dust calling phantom papyrus chat #which is HILARIOUS but it reminded me of my dt player take where theyre a streamer #and i was like OMG WAITTTTT ok so like dust doesnt SAY chat #but he talks to papyrus like loop talks to their chat (and when he catches himself doing it he fucking HATES IT)#my dust sans specifically hates streamers and gamers on the undernet because of fucking loop #plus yada yada all the other habits and shit dust imitates from loop because theyre the person in dusttale he cant afford to tune out #dust thinks that whatever the fuck happened in dusttale (especially shit like multiplayer and loop's hacks) was all a hallucination idk #killing everyone to gain lv?! nah he cant remove that from his imagination. but seeing everything in hd vision because loop used a hyper #realistic undertale retexture??? yeah that was a hallucination or something because his feeble mind cant comprehend his player's fuckery #that determination and patience REALLY came in handy with loop because dust has had to pull himself together mentally multiple times bc #theyre genuinely such a mind fuck to fight against. dust sans vs the indescribable atrocities that is his player #i think its funny to imagine dust having to fight 3 seperate 7 year olds all speaking with voices that are triple their avatars' ages #dust sans #murder time trio #utmv #sans au #dusttale player #something new chara #something new player #horrortale player #honestly trap is dust's favorite to deal with because theyre really just not as annoying as aim or loop. still rude as hell tho to him 💔

actually the weirdest thing about the internet is that it is full of ghosts and some of the ghosts are you or people you once loved and you just have to figure out whether to pretend you can't see them or whether to keep interacting with them just like you would if they weren't ghosts

#yesterday i saw a meme redraw of an image that went viral that an ex-friend of mine posted several years ago of their cat #and i was just like. there's a strong chance the artist (who don't know) and the person reblogging the art (who i am not mutuals with)#do not know what the original image was. much less that the person who posted that image used to spend a lot of time on tumblr #and they definitely do not know what that meme cat is like in real life because they have not met her. but i have.#i still have an image in my photo archive of that cat on a facetime call with my cat. from back when we were friends #that friendship ended on pretty weird bad terms but before it did we had known each other for over a decade. i had stayed at their house.#and in a non-digital world we never ever would have met let alone become friends (mostly due to class differences tbh)#but in the world we live in we did meet and we did become friends and our friendship ended and it ended painfully #and then sometimes without any warning whatsoever i see a picture they once shared with me BEFORE it went viral #shared by someone i don't know who doesn't know them and transformed into fanart of a fandom neither of us have ever been in!!#and that's just. a kind of an experience you could never have had anything close to pre-internet i don't think #i'm very hard pressed to think of anything having ever been anywhere near as haunted as the internet is #at least once a week if i am spending any significant amount of time online i run into posts that feature either me or an old friend of min #sometimes me interacting with an old friend.#and it's strange how these tiny little moments have been preserved as windows that other people look through and laugh #and because they are still making people laugh (or some other compelling emotion) people are still sharing them #years and years after we've moved on. years after breakups and falling-outs and just slow pulls away #that one moment of our friendship is immortal. forever funny. forever good. forever shared. we were together then. we laughed together then #in another decade that's all there will be left of us i think. everything after and everything else all the good and all the bad will fade #and we will become our one immortal moment of laughter #and the tiny bits of memory that cling around its edges. i will remember our group chat where that post was shared.#for a while anyway yet i will remember. and then someday i won't anymore but the post might still do the rounds even then #or someone neither of us ever met will think about it on their own long after the post itself is gone and in that moment too:#we will be friends again.#and that sort of ghost exists offline too and has always existed of course. that kind of ghost is in letters and news articles and songs #that kind of ghost lives in the carvings on tree-trunks and in the pages of novels and in ancient grafitto #versions of memories and moments shared that long outlive their context #little whispers on the winds of time that say 'i was here. and so were you. and that can never be truly forgotten or erased'#can a friendship ever truly end if the ghosts of it are still shared between other friends for years and years and years #will we ever really get away from each other if the ghosts of you-who-cared-about-me and me-who-cared-for-you are still laughing together?

Doing a quick vibe check since PPT is populated with Prototype/toy shipper creeps: Do you ship him with anyone or believe the toys are adults? If not, I'll glady reblog the amazing art you draw. Concepts are neat and give me fuel for fanfic ideas of my own interpretation of the Ludwig siblings.

short answer: while i do think the toys are somewhat capable of maturing/advancing mentally, they're still children that cannot be considered full adults in canon due to their harrowing circumstances, extremely modified bodies, and inflicted mental breaks at the hands of conditioning

using this opportunity to say that as such, i'm not comfortable with people who ship any of the toys (this includes the Prototype) with any adult figures. to avoid problems, please dni, block, & move on because i will block people who i encounter like this.

#long answer bc this is actually smth i wanted to analyze in my own perspective for a while now:#im falling back onto isaac & amber's words for this bc if the people involved in the work suggest theyre children/children in stasis >#im not willing to argue or touch the characters in a way that argues theyre consenting adults in any shape way or form #but beyond the devs i think at best the toys can mature & mentally age but not by much. definitely not enough to become adults either >#no matter how much time has passed. their bodies are stuck in permanent stasis w seemingly no room for their frontal lobes to develop #beyond what their original stages where pre-experiment & i think mob's trying to go for an angle where the poppy gel stops all physical +#major cognitive development. theyre really pushing for the horror narrative where all the toys u meet/befriend/kill are children >#just stuck in truly fucked up circumstances. i also feel that basing their adulthood on the way the toys act & behave isn't a reliable basi #we know that at least from huggy (1770) all following toys were put into extreme levels of brainwashing & conditioning #and the kids were effectively groomed/mind broken to act in a way that encapsulated their cartoon personas + forget their child identities #so mommy/dogdayt/etc. personally feel less like adults & more like horribly stunted children who were forced to act mature & “grow up”#as for poppy & proto who are implied to have never gone through conditioning: theyre a lot more mature compared to the others yeah #but again personally it's not a reliable basis since 1006's entire deal is mimicry. his adultlike demeanor & speech is mimicked >#from all the adult authoritative figures in his life + stuck in clinical/lab environment for literal years while suffering intense abuse #poppy to me also feels like a child putting on their best adult mask bc what CAN she do (rebellion leader + main catalysts + etc)#her running away + crying to her room feels to me like a kid on their last straw- wholly tired of taking up adult responsibilities #i will acknowledge that the body horror of growing up while stuck in an unchanging body is great (particularly in the case of poppy)#but as it stands & in this game's canon: i firmly stand on the toys being children - kids that are far too mature beyond their years #it also just personally calls out to me the most as a narrative point bc wow theyre just like me fr. hastag trauma bonding #i think one day the kids will be able to be considered adults if they were able to get out of their horrible circumstances +#sort their physical & mental issues in a safe & happy environment. but as it stands (seeing most of them are dead or soon to be dead)#i think theyre walking fictional tragedies of the body horror of child-experimentation abuse & extreme body modification (both phys & mind)#ik this is an extremely controversial & heavily debated topic in the fandom but i think it's best to just articulate where one stands #bc this will always have differing opinions & perspectives and im just here to enjoy ppt in my own curated space #unfollow me block me do whatever!!! i want my own happy space people want theirs #so PLEASE respect the dni/dnf criteria they are my kids forever i don't want to see weird content of my kids #also taking this opportunity to extend the dni criteria to proshippers in general.#i have had bad experiences interacting as a young child (now 17) w adult proshippers & disagree w ur content so please stay far away from me #eurydiceryn #eury's thoughts

the other thing i was thinking about is the reason vale leaves cele in the basement of course is that , and i will go as far as to say, he is jealous of celestino real and true individualism , a trait to which valentino aspires , but he is deeply burdened by the anxiety of influence

#i have always believed this but just to put it out there #it's like on a subconscious level #i mean their interactions where cele is un cowed or wowed by vale is on a conscious level #and when cele prefers uccio as a mentor (not a mentor he's not really mentorable in that way but) but as a boss yk is real #which of course is the basis of celuccio arms of the multiverse bc it is so funny and such a good foil but anyway #vale says he doesn't want mentees that obsess over him like a fan #which is tru and it's why he doesn't give bez massages on the track like he does pecco bc he knows he has to cool it with bez or else he's #going to replicate all of vales sex camp outfits but more intense and then vale wont be able to look at him bc bez doesn't have #the necessary armor of detachment to do it and that makes vale uncomfortable #BUT he literally also does not know what to do with celestino who is way more obsessed with his own weird flop brother than with vale #bc vale actually does need his friendgroup to be a hierarchy (its a mental disease he has he gets scared if he has real friends)#so he's always looking at cele from a distance of part wary esteem and part judgement and distaste #bc listen. people say it is just bc cele sucks that he's the least favorite daughter #not even tru #vale will go to bat for his flop sons. rememebr when bez was like p13 in the championship in 2024 crying in the garage #and vale was like “ducati has spurned bezzecchi by not considering him for the factory seat”#meanwhile for cele he says “he was not in the conversation until he did a podium” [and it was a random p2 and not even his first #of the year...]#anyway. evidence that vale hasn't gone to bat for flop cele bc of personal reasons (scared of him)#ok but also the reasons cele is a flop are also similar to the reasons vale is scared of him so it's not unconnected #(reasons being he is slow to change who he is)#thanks for listening and partaking in my delusion #i would also accept the take that vale is scared of cele but at the same time it has nothing to do with him being left in the basement #which is just because he is not good. but i still think that vale not being a cele propagandist has to do with their personal dynamic

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anyways... it doesn't make me sad at all to be listening to rqg 128 and hear hamid wholeheartedly excited to see zolf or to be listening to rqg 129 and hear zolf wholeheartedly go in to hug hamid... it doesn't hurt my heart at all! i don't think about what their relationship was like in the months where they last saw each other!! i don't think about what their relationship will develop into in the months to come!!! i don't think about anything!!!! but the current joy!!!!! everything is fine!!!!!! and i am normal!!!!!!!

#rqg spoilers #mine #rusty quill gaming #rqg #what we have to understand. is that i. like many people. caught the zolf-hamid bug after the catacombs #and i had basically stopped shipping it by the time prague was over in my first listen #but i never stopped being fascinated by their dynamic #sometimes your found family is also not someone you choose and you have to live with all the profound ways they frustrate you and #even make you hate them sometimes #but you still love them like family because they're just yours forever #and one day those two will be old men and all their friends will have died already #and hamid and zolf will still be sending letters back and forth to each other #making the trip between london and cairo once every few years to see each other #in the kind of truce that only comes when you really know someone and have for ages #and in the deeply ugly parts of themselves they'll both wish that they could trade the other in for someone else #like uggggh these tags are getting too long (spoiler alert: had to edit to get under 30 tags) and should probably be a post by themselves #but i think so often about the kind of insane fight we would have gotten between hamid and zolf after 207 if things had gone just that #tiny bit worse and hamid had died and zolf had used his revivify on hamid and then wilde died permanently #i love my beautiful qpr zoscar like no other and it's beautiful that two guys who were so built for tragedy got their happy ending #but also they were *built* for tragedy #and hamid and zolf were built to have a screaming match with tears running down their faces where zolf wishes that hamid was dead so he #could have wilde back and hamid also kind of wishes that hamid was dead because he has that deep wound in him that makes him feel less #worthy of life than those around him and zolf also kind of wishes that zolf was dead because he should have kept some sort of fail-safe to #keep wilde safe and because he also has that deep wound in him that makes him feel less worthy of life than those around him and even thoug #they've both mostly worked past that wound this version of 207 would profoundly rip it back open in both of them and--#do you see what i mean?????#i need to stop #they make me crazy #i've had zoscar and zolf-hamid back in my life for 6 hours and it's already driven me crazy

...and if i said the "cat fight" is dated as fuck and is an fucking mess to integrate tonally between nessa's murder and fiyero's capture and just because it's a big part of the musical doesn't mean it had to be put in the film (bc by heavily changing wonderful to have glinda and cutting morrible's solo explaining how they've made glinda into Glinda the Good in thank goodness they clearly CAN make changes/cut things out even if they're important) and if it HAD to be there it should've been an actual blow-up intense argument between them about glinda's complacency and siding with the wizard when she knew what he was doing to the Animals and knew ever since they both found out in the Emerald City instead of slapping each other over fiyero would i get killed with hammers or what

#everyone cheers about the cat fight and maybe i just havent been a lifelong fan so im not that attached to it but... what #i don't have years as a fan going for me so instead i just have to... look at the movie for what it is and how it does/doesn't land #and even if it's fun to have an on-screen version of the cat fight that doesn't mean it does the tone of the film any favors #bc like. nessa's murder is where shit reaches the point of no return #imprisoned animals such as dr. dillamond CAN be freed and relearn to speak. boq (while transformed) is ALIVE and could be gotten through to #given time and space and support and understanding it was to save his life. things are bad but they're salvageable.#but when that house falls in Oz NESSAROSE IS DEAD. there's no fake melting no life-saving change she is GONE #she was KILLED by that house and is NEVER COMING BACK.#a disabled woman has just been MURDERED BY THE STATE to lure in a threat to the regime #and only minutes later a prince is captured and tortured to death and elphaba breaks down and BECOMES the wicked witch #and within all of that? the cat fight (at least with how they adapted it) doesn't match that fucking tone at ALL #they fight over whether or not fiyero loved her TEN FEET AWAY FROM WHERE NESSAROSE DIED. but okay whatever #mine #wicked #wicked for good

call me if you have a breakdown

#the imagined familial relationship napsta and mtt have in my mind that is b&g is very importante to me #mtt 'abandons' napsta in that house to go make it somewhere else and like goes full cold contact #napsta knows mtt is in the area but they stop talking and calling each other and all that as mtt figures himself out #and whatever happened in those 2 years where napsta was left at home by themselves is unknown cause theyll never say #maddie blames that mtt shouldve stayed home and just took it for napstas sake but instead jeopardized their plans entirely #to which mtt has thoughts lol cause maddie moved out first technically #but regardless. they dont reconnect until years later when mtt is like. 21 and has a freakout on his birthday at work #and locks himself in the Underground bathroom and for the first time in years rings the home phone #and when napsta picks up he begs them to come get him #and its sort of a big thing because naptsa is a shut-in and very well known to be one. hence why maddie wanted mtt to tough it out #and stay a little longer #cause napsta only really lives within the parameters of their house and goes no further. hasnt gone outside alone since they were kids #very devout socially anxious shut-in does not mix with loud crowded underground bar. but napsta does come #and picks up their cousin cause like in canon napsta still cares about their cousin #this is all pre-b&g stuff but twas listening to this song and thought about them. i like the reality ive created in my mind #napsta being a very religious muslim who struggles to live in society but will make the scary trek to pick up their cousin #from a hysterical breakdown because they care and they know mtt still cares about them too and how its just #really hard to exist sometimes so they gotta be there for each other #i think this is how mtt finds out the house is empty and that everyones gone so hes able to come home now #napsta tries walking him there and hes scared to go until napsta says its empty and filled with dust now #and that theyve been gardening to feed themself but havent been able to call anybody to fix a busted light #and mtt covered in makeup smears and drool and tears just walks in and quietly fixes it himself while napsta watches #i could go on for hoursbut i have to go to the ocean rn #boys & girls #fanart #Youtube

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#time...the years...where has it all gone...?

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#time...the years...where has it all gone...?