#tidy sidey

Alright, humes? Against my better judgement, I ended up watching The World's Biggest Braying Nuisances - aka The Apprentice - again tonight. The latest challenge? To design an exciting new piece of multifunctional flat-pack furniture then pitch their invention to retailers. (It's almost as though Lord Sugar sets these tasks purely for our entertainment, rather than to genuinely test the nuisances' business prowess, isn't it?) Anyway, the boys' team came up with Foldo - a table that turns into a chair. And the girls came up with the Tidy Sidey - a box on wheels, for all your putting-things-in-a-box-then-wheeling-it-around needs. Funnily enough, the Foldo proved far more popular among professionals - so the boys got to climb up the Millennium Dome and enjoy unparalleled views across the Isle of Dogs and Woolwich, while the girls went off to bicker in the losers' café. To be honest, humes, I haven't quite got a handle on everyone's names yet. It doesn't help that a lot of the nuisances look remarkably similar - so I'm never sure if I'm looking at two different contestants or just one numpty standing in front of a mirror. But I'm pretty sure the girls' project leader was called Natalie - and the two nuisances she chose to accompany her back into the boardroom were called Uzma and Sophie. Determined to win Ol' Gnomeface's favour, Uzma and Natalie began squawking and squealing at one another - in scenes reminiscent of a bar-room brawl on TOWIE. Meanwhile, Sophie did the decent thing and squirmed silently in her seat, perhaps contemplating whether or not to jump into the Tidy Sidey and close the lid. But then Gnomeface put her out of her misery by firing her - at which point the other two shut up and went back to Chez Nuisance.

Cheerio, Sophie - we'll never forget you. Honest!