#tidbits tag.

LILY EVANS   was  his  sun,  from  that  first  disastrous  conversation  to  the  moment  he drew  his  last  breath.  like  the  king  of  the  stars  &  its  orbiting  planets,  there  had  always  been  a  certain  distance  between  the  two  of  them.  she  was  bright,  magnetic,  unafraid  to  love  &  be  loved,  &  introduced  him  to  a  brand  of  kindness  severus  had  never  experienced  before  &  would  never  experience  again  ( so  different  from  the  protecting  hand  his  mother  placed  on  his  shoulder  or  the  dinner  invitations  accompanied  by  half - hearted  smiles  he  would  get  from  molly  weasley  many  years  later ).  he  kept  his  brilliance  as  a  private  affair  &  cowered  from  affection  like  an  abused  beast.  lily  was  everything  he  could  never  be,  but  instead  of  brewing  envy,  that  fact  just  brought  them  together   -----   she  was  a  warm  ray  of  hope :   knowing  they  soon  would  be  sitting  together  by  the  lake  at  school  or  the  river  back  home  made  hogwarts  more  palatable.  hell,  it  made  his  father  seem  bearable.

what  started  as  something  childish,  a  simple  desire  to  show  her  an  interesting  book  or  share  prospects  for  the  future,  blossomed  into  small  smiles  that  quickly  faded  into  the  rare  blushing  of  pale  cheeks  whenever  he  was  reminded  of  her.   the  satisfaction  snape  felt  to  the  sight  of  her  twisting  her  nose  at  the  mention  of  james  potter’s  name  was  a  little  more  than  the  relief  of  knowing  his  best  friend  despised  his  bully.   it  was   interesting  how  even  with  his  propensity  to  weave  high,  far - fetched  expectations,  he  never  considered  anything  but  taking  her  on  hogsmead  dates.  no  marriage  or  children  ever  crossed  his  mind.  it  was  more  about  keeping  her  happy  &  being  happy  by  her  side   -----   whatever  else  would  simply  be  a  plus.  

severus  never  acted  on  that  wish.  perhaps,  deep  inside,  he  understood  they  were  too  different  for  it  to  work.  her  friends  didn’t  like  him  nor  did  he  make  a  real  effort  for  that  to  change  &  she  wasn’t  a  fan  of  his  own.  she  sought  light,  while  he  didn’t  mind  being  swallowed  by  darkness  if  it  meant  his  ends  would  be  achieved.  perhaps  even  if  his  temper  didn’t  end  up  severing  their  ties,  life  would  tear  them  apart  anyway. 

i’m glad you asked, because i’ve been thinking about that for a while !!  i’m gonna go on a tangent here  ( because it ain’t me if i’m not missing the point completely )  and say that his learning of the patronus charm and occlumency are concomitant.  severus had heard and read about it before,  but was unable to produce anything but mere wisps as a teenager/young adult given his difficulty to put order in the mess of his thoughts and feelings.  that said,  his corporeal patronus has always been a doe since the ability to cast it came way after lily. the happy thought that first brings it to life is also related to her,  of course.

38. are they basically negative when facing new things ?  suspicious ?  hostile ? scared ?  enthusiastic ?

it really does depend !  he’s always taken intellectual challenges well and enthusiastically.  as a student, whenever a new spell or potion came up and he couldn’t perform it in the first try,  he’d read and practice until he got it right.  always with the sort of focus we got to see in his recollection of his O.W.L.s.  this is one of the few things that never changed about him  —-  from the scrawny, hopeful kid learning magic from his mother’s old school books before he even got a wand to the sorrowful, bitter man eagerly trying to absorb any piece of knowledge dumbledore or voldemort  ( which, to be honest, was the reason he joined the death eaters in first place, but that’s another subject ).  in fact,  anything that involves intellect and/or magical prowess is faced with his head held high,  as these are the only areas in which he truly feels confident.

now,  growing up in a financially unstable home taught him to be adaptable and specially to keep his feet on the ground.  he has a very realistic view on the world,  but always keeps in mind the ways things can go wrong in order to prepare himself and avoid them.  this sort of strategic thinking only works when his temper doesn’t get the best of him,  of course.  his anger is blinding, the kind that has been bottled up for too long and makes him do things he absolutely wouldn’t do with a clear head.  

when it comes to people,  he has never been optimistic.  to even approach lily,  it took him weeks of rehearsed dialogue and the brash confidence he displayed at first was all bravado.  his social anxiety began with his father and how he never bothered to conceal his disgust for having a wizard for a son and worsened with the bullying he faced at hogwarts.  slug parties were like torture sessions and until he caught mulciber’s eye,  he wouldn’t really spend too much time at the slytherin common room,  preferring to stay at the library.  he isn’t exactly keen on letting new people in.  teaching is a little easier because it feels like it belongs in the first category i rambled about. 

40. how is their sense of humor ? do they have one ?

i believe the prime example of snape’s sense of humor is that bit in the prince’s tale where he asks dumbledore whether he wants to be killed right then or he’d like a few moments to compose an epitaph.  it’s dark and one often can’t tell if he’s joking or not,  especially since everything is said with a deadpan expression.  minerva is probably one of the few people who are used to it at this point because she’s the one who usually has to endure his ironic commentary on the dada professors.

basically:

1.  how do they move and carry themselves ?  pace, rhythm, gestures, energy ? 

answered here !

20.  what kind of individual relationships do they have with others, and how do they behave in them ?  how are they different between intimate relationships like friends, family, and lovers versus more impersonal relationships ? 

he is a very lonely man in every aspect of the word.  he can count his friends on one hand & he’s never been very family oriented  ( though he does religiously visit his mother every summer ).  at work, snape is outspoken & usually respected by his colleagues despite a little rivalry here & there.  being a very private individual, he is very difficult to get to know, so, save for a few people, his relations remain on a very impersonal level.  however, those who manage to make their way through his walls earn his everlasting loyalty & a fair amount of cynical advice.

22.   how do people respond to them, and why might these responses differ ?

we know the students are aware that if they’re not in slytherin, they should look out.  given how demanding & authoritarian he is as a teacher, that rumor built impression hardly changes.  besides a few more rebellious young witches & wizards, silence reigns in his classroom.  his coworkers usually keep a distance, but know they can count on his abilities in an emergency.

40.   what do they wonder about ?  what sparks their curiosity and imagination, and why ?  how is this expressed, if it is ?

magical knowledge is something he’s always sought.  ever since he began his studies, he keeps trying to broaden his horizons & learn a little more, which eventually culminated on snape’s venture into the dark arts.  he is always reading  ( the collection at his home is quite impressive )  & experimenting. 

1.  how do they move and carry themselves ?  pace, rhythm, gestures, energy ?

usually, severus moves as if he’s got all the time in the world on his hands.  he is very much like a cold blooded animal  —-  he is calm & precise, devoid of any sort of superfluity.  that said, he manages to keep a steady pace.  of course,  not one ounce of his tranquility seems natural & it isn’t.  rather than an inborn trait, it was manufactured through some discipline.  as a teenager, he would walk with his shoulders hunched forward & in general was hardly noticed by his classmates due to his introversion, but as he became more comfortable with himself  ( & that, unfortunately, started to happen around the time snape joined the death eaters ), he turned into a more imposing figure of lengthy strides & sure actions.

4.  what is their size and build ?  how does it influence how they use their body, if it does ? 

snape has always been on the small side.  even if he grew up to an average height, he remains as scrawny as when he was younger  ( & that was another source of self - consciousness :  he was shorter than james & sirius )  since it’s very difficult for him to gain weight.  despite that, severus’s presence is still a commanding one due to his authoritarian manners.  students often believe he is a much larger man until they get to take a second look.

41.  what associations do they bring to mind ?  words or phrases, images, metaphors or motifs ?  

i.  water dripping into a nearly full glass until it finally overflows.ii.  fumes & the sound of boiling liquid.iii.  old books of fragile bindings & yellowish pages.iv.  black silk.v.   morning dew.vi.  green light.