Fabulous Clive - http://bit.ly/1Er3kYr
And Now Thys Says: http://bit.ly/1Er3kYr
Fabulous Clive
This is the story of Fabulous Clive. It is a short story. A happy story. A sad story. And then a happy story again (of sorts).
So basically your normal RomCom on a touch of LSD.
Fabulous Clive knew he was not one of the regular boys. He liked the regular boys, but he himself was just slightly different.
When the other boys played cops and robbers, he played nurses and patients-who-needed-sponge-baths.
Fabulous Clive the nurse waiting on a sponge bath patient
As he was sitting in front of the pub he knew that he would never get anywhere sitting around all of these butch cops and robbers characters. How will he give someone a sponge bath when they were all dressed in latex anyway?
Even though Fabulous Clive was not always seen as your average man of the world, he did love nature. Not the camping without a make-up table type of nature, but the riding on your bike through the country side in your appropriate riding dress type of nature. The wind gently blowing through your… look a butterfly! Lets stop here for a breather and take in the view…
Fabulous Clive taking in the sights
As Fabulous Clive was just getting his breathing down to normal and his pulse down to a good resting rate, he spotted a specimen…
A candidate for Nurses and Sponge-bath-patients!
His heart started pounding again and his breathing was hoarse and shallow… a few beads of sweat forming on his temples…
Fabulous Clive didn’t know much, but he knew instantly that he would love this man, Ned the Naturalist, for the rest of his natural life. So much Ned to sponge bath… so little time…
Ned the Naturalist getting back to nature
Now Ned the Naturalist was not even aware of the admiring eyes on him. He was just enjoying the shade of the trees and the bees running around on his ample exterior.
Now kids… what do you get when you combine a lilly white marshmallow naturalist and bees?
Yes the horrible realization came to late to Ned. The bees got too excited about the plentiful bounty they had discovered and they started a dance they called “Via Con Pin Cushion”.
As they frantically started attacking poor Ned, Clive whipped out his emergency sponge bath kit and rushed to the aid of Ned. In a few tip toed leaps he was by his side with calamine lotion and a sponge desperately trying to ease the pain that his beloved Ned was enduring… but alas… in a few minutes it was all over. In the immortal words of Bruce Willis in Pulp Fiction: “Ned’s dead baby… Ned’s dead”
Fabulous Clive wasn’t sure that he would be able to recover from this. In the blink of an eye he lost the love of his live. He did the only logical thing he could thing of. He threw himself head and luscious mustache first into the world of cosplay hoping that he could reinvent himself.
His choice was the happiest character he could think of…
Fabulous Clive as Hello Kitty
This icon of happiness could not even pull Fabulous Clive from the depths of despair. He yearned for Ned and decided to start a revolution inside himself. He tried to reinvent himself then as Ned. If he couldn’t be with Ned, he would be Ned.
Flabulous Clive
Fabulous Clive was now Flabulous Clive.
For the rest of his days he would roam the country side looking at every little grouping of trees hoping to catch a glimpse of Ned.
However as the bike groaned under the weight of Flabulous Clive, the realization dawned on him that they would never be apart again.
Flabulous Clive was Ned… and Fabulous Clive… and an appropriate red shirt.
-FIN-
