Posting Date: 22 June 2020
Rating: Explicit
Pairing: AOS Kirk/Spock
Warnings/Tags: graphic depictions of violence, hurt/comfort, explicit sex, abuse/torture, body mutilation, drugging, dom/sub, Tarsus IV, childhood trauma, childhood abuse, trauma recovery, minor character death
Summary: Spock believed things were preceding well after Yorktown, their lives settling into normal parameters and perhaps, even evolving into something more.
But after picking up new crewmembers from Starbase 2, things begin to unravel and a chasm grows between them.
Then the unthinkable happens. Jim’s past catches up to him - reopening old wounds and laying new ones - refusing to let go until Jim has paid the ultimate price.
Can Spock and the crew make it to Jim before his past exacts its toll? And can the distance between them and the scars they bear be healed before it’s too late?
Excerpt:
“I hate these things,” Jim sulked with a heavy, discontented sigh. “Why do I even have to be here?” He swallowed down another gulp of his drink. It was no doubt alcoholic in nature.
“As captain, it is – “
“My duty. Yeah, I know.” He took another rather large swallow. “I’m here, aren’t I?”
Jim hadn’t even turned to properly acknowledge him. The need to reach out, that pervasive itch under his skin, grew.
Though he and Jim had begun their relationship back on Yorktown while awaiting the Enterprise’s rebuild, Spock had always maintained a very disciplined approach to displays of affection while on duty, or at duty-related functions. But something pulled at him. He was worried about Jim. Weeks of rejection and distance, of watching Jim’s change from afar had made him desperate. And bold.
Slowly, he closed the distance between them, brushing their shoulders together. His fingers grazed the outside of Jim’s hand in the barest of touches. “Jim? What is wrong? Let – ”
His next words were never uttered, swallowed down in a sharp gasp as he was bombarded by an onslaught he was not prepared for. He sucked in a breath, fortifying his shields against the intensity of Jim’s emotions, and pulled back. But it was too late. He had heard Jim internally screaming; a whirlwind of hurt and regret and pain.
Jim’s eyes widen in shock, staggering away from Spock. “Did you just – “
“I did not mean…it was an accident,” he fumbled. In a hushed tone he asked, “Jim, are you well?”
Jim stepped back further as if his nearness burned. “Well?” he hissed. “Well?” he repeated, his voice growing louder. “No, I’m not.” He downed the rest of his drink, slammed it on the table behind him, and strode out of rec room without a backwards glance.
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