#thycarnifex

natalie's　result:　deep staining red.

Ripped out confessions, warm velvety whispers and a heart like an open wound. Your love flows out like dripping blood, beautiful, flawed and twisted. It's gut wrenching, the type of painfully dramatic feeling that makes you clutch your chest, picturing dramatic monologues about love and loving and big screen over the top scenes of sobbing into your pillow until you fall asleep. It rips out of you, clawing it's way up your throat more so than tumbling out. Sticky words that just need to be let out, feelings so big they don't fit inside you. Your love isn't easy, it's a true bloody mess, dripping and staining everything it touches in a desperate attempt to be seen, to be felt, to be loved back. And you, you love so hard, so deeply, so much for someone who carries all that pain. Atlas holding up the world, how are you? Is your love still flowing? Is your heart still open? Still pumping and bleeding and dripping with blood and tears? Still painting your beautiful pictures and writing your love letters in deeply personal red ink? Because I see them, I read them, I love them and you, you, you, you. Clench your chest, scream your love, cry it out. Spill your words of loving, keep your heart beating, keep your love coming and paint the entire world red with it. Make it in your image, keep going, it's okay. Maybe one day the whole world can be red and loved and beautiful just like you.

tagged by:　@thycarnifex

❝   this is like 2021's version of slaughter high,   ❞ van says with an air of nonchalance that sounds uncanny even to them, as if they're continuing a conversation from yesterday and not twenty some odd years ago. when was the last time they saw shauna shipman anyway? her wedding? no .. after that. but van blocks it all out as they rap the bar with their knuckles in attempt to still the rush of nerves. 2021's version of slaughter high except the april fools prank gone wrong was us crashing in the fucking wilderness! and the people who invited us don't want to kill us, they just want glory photos of our faces! it wasn't funny at all, van knows, but they stumble on their comedic relief timing like a teenager who just lost their footing in front of the whole cafeteria. the wrinkle in their nose suggests just how much they hate their own carved downfall. ❝   long time no see, shipman.   ❞

@thycarnifex gets approached by callie after the compound

The Sadecki family had quite a crash course in pretending things were normal lately, hadn't they? It didn't exactly surprise Callie, as she'd grown up knowing her mother was always hiding things about her past, acting as if she'd gotten over them. As if the ghost of Jackie Taylor wasn't plastered to their walls, as if Google searches didn't tell the girl more about her mother's life than the woman herself ever did.

And then there was this whole Adam situation and Callie had tried her best to get with the pretending. Surely it ran in the family, right? She was still so embarrassed about being used by the cop like that, just when she finally felt like she'd gotten one over on Shauna in their weird little game of trying to get control over things. Maybe that was all Callie wanted -- a sense of control, like her entire existence wasn't being dictated by someone else's trauma. By a cult of traumatized soccer players in their early 40s, whether they realized it or not.

Maybe that's why pretending now that nothing happened back in the woods when Callie finally saw the truth for herself -- if there was even truth to be found in all of the confusion -- was making her itch. Her mom couldn't lie about this anymore, couldn't pretend like it wasn't real and wasn't actively ruining everyone's lives.

"So, are we just not gonna talk about how those women were going to fucking kill you?" Callie blurted out on a quiet afternoon at home, catching Shauna in moment of mundane routine. She looked at her mom with a mixture of hurt and concern widening her eyes and creasing her brows.

it's not the first time she's been asked something like this,   and it certainly won't be the last.   she's gone to extreme lengths in order to test people like this or to get answers otherwise,    taken so many risks that likely should have killed her many times,   but she knows how to handle herself,   knows when to push and when to pull back.    the flight 2525 survivors are a bit trickier,   but that's not a bad thing;    her job becomes a lot more difficult if any of them do decide to speak,   but that won't stop her from prodding,   even if shauna's wrath is written all over her features,   through her tone,   in her threats.  it's impressive,  really:    does mrs. turner even know what she really put jessica up against?    

"I–,‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎um..."‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎At a loss for words,‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎she looks to @thycarnifex with a gaping mouth and a sense of guilt that settles into the pits of her brown eyes‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎(her gaze growing deeper by the day,‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎sinking into tired sockets with the wilderness reflected back over the glossy layer).‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎It wasn't intentional at first,‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎a pass by where voices echoed out .‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎The team was gone,‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎on a usual passage to the lake to clean up,‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎fuck around.‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎All it did was make Audrey ache,‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎just sitting up made her tired and she needed to lie down...