#thx4reading

This is gonna be a mash of all my recent frustrations and probably be messy but oh well. I hate being an extrovert with social anxiety because I truly want to talk to people and be social and love when things work out and I end up enjoying myself at social events but also my social anxiety gets in the way but mostly beforehand leading up to the events and I just get so drained and have no motivation to go which sucks so bad. Also my nail just started coming off and I fucking hate when that happens because I get so irked and ugh I hope it stays on until I can get new nails and I just want to start work so I can have money and finally not worry about expenses for the summer (until college starts) and also I hate how no matter what I do I end up hating my makeup I know that's not a big deal but I hate having patchy foundation and unblended contour and blush and I feel like everyday when I have it on I look so awful but people always compliment me and I guess I could just stop wearing it but I like it and don't really like my natural face despite what my friends tell me and ugh. Also I suck at skin care and wish I could stick to a routine but it's so hard to commit to one because I'm so lazy and I just want summer to start but also not really because my body sucks so bad right now I've literally gained a whole 8 pounds since march and that's disgusting I need to start working out ASAP but again I'm SO LAZY and I need to change my ways or else I'm gonna keep hating myself