Dear Thunggyu Oppa,
itās been quite the while since i've seen you, and trust me when i say this, but i didnāt expect myself to be up at 7am writing this letter. iāve been going through a few of my old things only to be reminded of you, well, mostly because you were all over them. reading things youāve written to me makes me smile a lot, but itās also quite the bittersweet feeling because you left without saying goodbye and i miss you a lot.
also iām trying to write this as fast as i can, because this might be the only chance you may ever see it, of course, thanks to a very kind friend that i have met today. please forgive me if iāve forgotten anything. i have so much to say to you, you absolutely have no idea.
iām trying so hard that i donāt even know where to begin. none of my old letters are giving me any muse, but rather they are just reloading memories that i couldnāt remember before. itās been a really long 3 years and my memory horrible, but the moment i saw your name come up in the archive, i was really happy, but unfortunately, that happiness died down really fast with the thought that i probably would never speak to you ever again.
shall i start off with how iāve been? i feel like thatās something you would ask me about. well, mostly, i donāt really know how iāve been. these past few days, these past few weeks, these past few years have been such a major roller coaster. itās been so crazy, i canāt even explain. it would go up so high, and drop really low really quickly. but in the end, it was quite the ride. so, in other words, iāve been relatively okay. not the greatest, but not all that bad.
how have you been? i hope youāve been well and healthy. i hope youāve been smiling, as well. you were always been the one to make me (well, along with everyone else) smile back then, and you were always the one to pick me back up even though you were the one who pushed me down. i make it sound like you were the one to cause my sadness, but it was because you would always make me feel stupid and sad over the smallest things, like myself, but at the same time, you would be telling the truth, and there would be a purpose.
by the way, you never gave me a link to that song i would always request for. itās been too long, iāve forgotten how it sounds like. according to my research, it was called Open Up, or at least thatās what youād name it on your music player. i remember iād go onto your page just to listen to it, a lot of the times. i canāt pinpoint exactly why i liked it so much, but iām sure if you were to give it to me now, iād still love it as much as i did then.
good god, itās actually 7:30am now, but i have this urge in me to finish this. i donāt know why, but whenever i write letters to you, it always makes me feel better. believe it or not, when that friend and i were looking back at the past, i was in tears for two hours straight, mostly because of how much i missed you and because iāve been wondering how youāve been. i cried even more the moment she told me she knew you. itās been three years, thunggyu, and i canāt believe iād still be thisĀ happy to know that you still exist, that youāre still breathing.
and also, how are things with you and your future wife? hypothetically speaking, thatās supposed to be me, but youĀ āsavingā me from false hope and heartbreak, i suppose itās not. but! i self-proclaim myself your future wife, anyway, although iām unsure if your undying love for suzy is still present. iām sure it is, i donāt doubt it one bit. in addition to that, i hope that your grease hasnāt washed out. everyone loved your grease, including myself, but you donāt need me to tell you that. you already knew yourself.
this reminds me of the first time youāve left me. by the time you left busanhigh, there was another sunggyu who was on reserve, and suddenly, everyone was in full armor, ready to attack, and by everyone, i mean me. i recall saying that i was going to bully all of the future sunggyuās that werenāt you, but being the little softie i was, i didnāt, or at least i donāt remember so. but donāt worry! iām still nice, kind of. i could be a little mean sometimes, but itās only out of friendship, wouldnāt you agree?
goodness gracious, thereās always this excuse written somewhere in anything i want to give you, but i am having trouble on what to say. i canāt say iām running out of things because i know iām not, i have too much to say. but itās hard to think when you have slept within the last 20 hours.
i also want to apologize. not for the lack of vocabulary and for the repetitive use of the word āalsoā (iām especially bad with words). but because i admittedly forgot about you when i said i wouldnāt many many times before. iām sure iām not a person youād remember, anyway. at least, not significantly well that is.
since i include this fact in every single one of my letters (at least, from the oneās i remember), sungiebooboo, something i used to refer to you as. i donāt know what was going on in my head at that point in time, but maybe that was just the youth in me that liked to give out silly nicknames. i also remember you used to call yourself SHINeeās leader, although there was truly no correlation attached.
i know for a fact that this letter is unfinished. although my mind is running extremely low on mana, my heart says otherwise. it's been so long, i want to tell you everything. i hope you enjoyed this letter though, oppa. and i hope i made as it as long youād like it to be. iām sorry for any unsaid words and for this huge mess of a letter. but in case you havenāt gotten the message, i miss you dearly.
in all honesty, i donāt know why i wrote this letter but there is hope that we could meet again, that this would bring me to you. this world is very small, and i really do wish to hear from you.
with love, your self-proclaimed future wife, and awkward turtle. tharanghamnida.
ps. youāre the only person iād willing write a letter for even if and when iām sleep deprived.
pps. āiām in need of directions because iām lost! how can i get to your heart?ā (iād really like them).
ppps. āyou wanna know what rhymes with you and me? destiny! wanna know what else? marry me!ā
pppps. keep smiling. i love you, and thank you.
