#thunder&mischief

Loki: You want to do WHAT?

Y/N: It is a standard thing here in earth. I just want to get the cats neutered, nothing more. Just to prevent us from them having kittens.

Loki: I would argue that humans are torturing their pets. How can you even think about doing that to a man?

Y/N: Well, once the 'man has done its job' the woman is stuck with kittens in this case she might now even wanted. And I don't feel like paying for the care and making sure we give them a good home once they come.

Loki: First of all, the fact that you think we would give any of them up is beyond me. Secondly, they are inside cats, they won't encounter anyone else.

Y/N: Mischief is not an inside cat.

Loki: *grumbling* That's because Mischief is a little devil who somehow gets by the extended measurements I have taken to keep him inside.

Y/N: Well, like father like son. Anyway, I don't need eight kittens, two cats and a baby.

Loki: Baby? What?

Y/N: Calm down, I'm not pregnant. I meant you.

Loki: *annoyed* Fine, do what you want. But you have to go explain it to them.

*a few days later. Y/N with Thunder&Mischief at the vet*

Thunder&Mischief: *angrily meowing*

Y/N: *whispering* Look, I know you guys are mad at me, but this really is for the best.

*The moment the vet tries to take them out of the container, they vanish in a green glow*

The vet: *ehm.. what is happening?*

Y/N: *angrily storming out* For fuck sake, I'm going to kill a baby today.

The vet: Wait what???

@lokiestorch @shereighties @littlemortals @fandoms4life-always @high-functioning-lokipath @briarrose26 @lilyevans1 @cabingrlandrandomcrap @the-gods-gloted-but-they-burned @geeky-politics-46 @vbecker10 @eleniblue

A/N: Thunder&Mischief requests are always open :)! Hope you enjoy.

Warnings: mentions of sex

Interrupted Day 1 *Loki and Y/N heavily making out on the bed*

Loki *whispering seductively*: I can’t wait any longer

*Thunder&Mischief entering the room with a ball of yarn*: meow

Loki: Go away, we’re busy

Y/N: Awh, Loki stop! We can’t do that here in the same room with them

*Loki grumbling frustrated, while Y/N starts playing with Thunder&Mischief*

Day 2 *While watching a movie together, Loki starts distracting Y/N with kissing her neck and letting his hands wander*

Y/N: *moaning* hmm, Loki

*The sound of Mischief running from the catio inside. Dropping a dead mouse at Loki’s feet and meowing proudly*

Y/N: Well, that’s a.. surprise. I thought you had fixed the catio?

Loki: I did… 5 times, already.. but, where were we?

Y/N: You don’t think the dead mouse killed the mood a little?

Loki: *grumbling frustrated*

Day 3 *Loki fixing the catio again, hoping Mischief can’t find a way to escape*

Y/N: You look very sexy when you are busy with tools

Loki: Hmm, do I? *very slowly picking up one of the tools, so Y/N can get a good look at his ass*

*Y/N walking towards Loki, starting to kiss him*

*Thunder, suddenly meowing judginly*

Y/N: O, sorry didn’t see you there..

Loki: You know, we can take this to the bedroom

*Loki and Y/N entering the bedroom to see Mischief sleeping on there*

Y/N: Well, it was your idea to let them sleep in the bed…

Loki: I hate myself…

Day 4 *Y/N coming home to find Loki, Thor and the cats sitting on the couch together*

Thor: Great news lady Y/N, Loki has asked me to watch your precious children again. And he trusts me so much, he has dropped all the ridiculous check-in-rules.

Y/N *smirking*: Really? How surprising

Loki *feigning innocence*: Well, if you can’t trust your brother, who can you trust? Thanks for watching them, and remember you really don’t have to call how it’s going. I’ll see you in two days.

*Thor excitingly leaving with the cats*

Y/N: You really asked Thor to babysit, so we can have sex?

*Loki snapping his fingers, being completely naked*: Yes, now we only have two days, so we have to make the most of it.

*Thor re-entering the room*: I think I forgot….

*Seeing Loki naked and quickly closing the door again*: That was fast…

Thunder&Mischief taglist: @lokiestorch @shereighties @littlemortals @fandoms4life-always @high-functioning-lokipath @briarrose26 @lilyevans1 @cabingrlandrandomcrap @the-gods-gloted-but-they-burned @geeky-politics-46 @vbecker10

*Thor sending a picture of the kittens, like Loki asked*

*Loki immediately calling 1 minute after receiving the picture*

Loki: Where is Mischief?

Thor: Ehm.. hey, what are you talking about? He is right next to Thunder….

Loki: That is a stuffed animal. Now, WHERE IS MISCHIEF?

Thor: All right, calm down! I promise you, he is in the house!

Loki: I want a picture!

Thor: I CAN’T!

Loki: WHY THE HELL NOT?

Thor: BECAUSE! Mischief hides in a room, and whenever I enter it, he jumps out to attack my feet. And when I try to grab him he runs away to another room, and the whole thing starts over again! I can't walk around in my house properly.

….

Thor: Are you laughing?

Loki: Fine, I won’t make fun of you at the moment. Just take a picture of him and send it to me.

Thor: Haven’t you heard anything I said? I can’t, he is too fast for me to grab.

Loki: Just point the camera at your feet and film it. He even comes towards you! It couldn’t be easier.

Thor: You are the worst.

*five minutes later you find Loki laughing his ass off*

Y/N: What are you laughing about?

*Loki showing the clip of Mischief attacking Thor’s feet, while Thor is cursing*

*Y/N also laughing your ass off*

A/N: I have added a picture, in the hopes it is more clear what I mean in this story :).

*Y/N waking up to sounds of hammering and drilling*

*Y/N walking to the balcony*

Y/N: Loki, what are you doing?

Loki: Building a catio

Y/N: A what?

Loki: A catio! For the spring equinox. Than they can play safely outside, without us having to fear one will push the other one off the balcony.

Y/N: So, you give our entire balcony to the kittens?

Loki: Well, they need a place outside....

Y/N: *sighing* Fine, do what you want. Just place two chairs and a table, so we can still sit outside. Even if it is in a 'catio'.

At the end of the day

*Loki and you are sitting on the balcony that he has transformed into a life size catio*

Y/N: I have to admit, you did this really well.

Loki: *Cuddling with Thunder* Thanks love! It did take more work than I thought. But now I can let them outside without having to worry they fall or get lost.

Loki: Speaking of which, I have Thunder here. But I haven't seen Mischief for a while.

Y/N: Ehm.. Loki? *Pointing at Mischief casually walking by on the balcony railing on the other side of the fence*

Loki: HOW??

Thunder&Mischief taglist: @authorb @lokiestorch @shereighties @littlemortals @fandoms4life-always @high-functioning-lokipath @briarrose26 @bouffantofdoom @lilyevans1 @cabingrlandrandomcrap @ladyflautist @official-chaotich-wandamaximoff @the-gods-gloted-but-they-burned  @geeky-politics-46 @vbecker10​ (For some reason Tumblr doesn’t let me tag people. Please let me know if I have made an errorr in your url!)

Loki: Oh, that is for the kittens.

Y/N: *angrily* You spend 200 dollars worth of food for the kittens? They have catfood, which is a lot cheaper!

Loki: Those brown cubes you midgardians call food? Nope! Only the best for our children.

Y/N: It has everything they need in it.

Loki: So has my food.

Y/N: You will feed them catfood, or you may not feed them at all.

Thunder&Mischief: *meowing in protest*

Loki: *angrily leaving*

*Later that night Loki is cooking and serving you dinner*

Y/N: *Staring at the brown mush at her plate* What is this?

Loki: Food.

Y/N: This isn't food.

Loki: It is brown, a lot cheaper and has everything you need in it.

Thunder&Mischief: *softly meowing*

Loki: Yes, I know kittens. But apparantly that is the standard of your mother.

Y/N: FINE, do what you want with the kittens. Just try to keep the bill down. I'm ordening pizza.

Loki: *happily* no need. *Emerging from the kitchen with a delicious meal*

Y/N: If you prepared that, what was the brown mush then?

Loki: *looking innocently* It may have been the catfood....

Y/N: ....

Thunder&Mischief: *crawling onto Loki's lap and purring while he eats*

Y/N: I feel tricked.

Loki: I’m not doing that.

Y/N: Put it on!

Loki: I don’t even know how you got them to wear it? *pointing at Thunder&Mischief with little antlers on their head*

Y/N: Well, it kind of was their idea. If I understood them right. They look cute!

Thunder&Mischief: *meowing in agreement*

Y/N: See!

Loki: *glaring at the kittens* They only told you, because they how much I despise this. 

Y/N: Do you really think they are that manipulative?

Thunder&Mischief: *meowing innocently*

Loki: Yes.

Y/N: Loki! Put the antlers on, and be thankful I don’t have an ugly christmas sweater for you.

Loki: FINE! *angrily puts the antlers on*

*Y/N taking the picture on the couch holding Thunder&Mischief together with Loki*

Loki: Now, you have got your picture. *Quickly throws the antlers on the floor*. What do you need it for anyway?

Y/N: Christmascards :)

Loki: Darling, I’m the God of Mischief, the God of Lies, I’m cunning, terrifying, I can overthrow whole planets with just a few words off my silver tongue, I am feared. You are NOT sending out a christmascard with me, dressed like that.

Y/N: *showing the picture to everybody* You look cute!

Loki: *Angrily storming out*

Y/N: *Laughing with Thunder&Mischief* you were right, that was fun!

A week later: *Thor suddenly bursts into the livingroom holding up two ugly christmas sweaters*  Thor: I WANT A CHRISTMASCARD WITH MY BROTHER TOO!

Loki: *pinching the bridge of his nose* You see what you have started now?

Loki: *entering the bedroom with Thunder&Mischief immediately jumping on the bed*

Y/N: Guys, really I want to be alone.

Loki: Nope, not happening. We had an idea if you're open for it.

Y/N: What idea?

Loki: *sitting on the bed and pulling Y/N on his lap* Well, it's not for everyone and the first time can be a bit overwhelming. But we thought...

Thunder&Mischief: *meowing like crazy*

Loki: *sighing* correction, THEY thought. I could turn you into a cat for a little while. It will be weird at first, and there is a lot you need to learn before you can run around and understand them like I do. But we can teach you. I will stay in this form so you can still understand me and if you want to change back just say so.

Y/N: Ehm.. wow, I didn't know you could actually do that. Is it- is it safe to do?

Loki: Pefectly safe, we will all stay on the bed. Thunder&Mischief are really excited to cuddle with you.

Y/N: All right, I think I would like to try it.

*Loki changing Y/N into a cat. Y/N sitting on his lap for a while, looking around, walking a bit on his lap which isn't going smoothly*

Loki: Darling, I am going to pick you up. Set you down on the bed next to our children. Are you okay with that?

Y/N: *trying to say yes, but only hears herself meowing*

*Y/N put on the bed next to Thunder&Mischief. They slowly approach and start to sniff and cuddle with their mother.*

*Thunder&Mischief meowing*

Y/N: *also meowing*

Loki: I know you can't understand them yet. It is just like any other language, you need to learn. But they are saying that you look very pretty as a cat and how happy they are that you tried this for them.

*Y/N, Thunder and Mischief cuddling and playing for a bit before crawling on top of Loki's lap*

*Eventually Loki puts on a movie and watches it from his bed with a cat and two kittens sound asleep and purring while he pets them*

Loki: *whispering before kissing Y/N* I love you too, darling.

Series taglist: @authorb

...

Y/N: Loki?

Y/N: *Walking into to living room to see 2 kittens who look exactly like Mischief*

Kittens: *meowing innocently*

Y/N: I know you don't get along with my parents, but we need to go!

*Loki doesn't change back*

Y/N: Are you seriously hiding behind our kid?

*Still no movement*

Y/N: If you don't come, I will invite them here and I won't clean this appartement.

Loki: *changing back* Can I at least bring the kittens?

Y/N: If you promise not to fight with my parents, you can.

Loki: *Eventually getting into the car*

Y/N: Where are the kittens?