#thumpediniowa

See? See? I told you so. I predicted the Donald would never get more than 35% in ANY election and he got only 24% in the Iowa caucus. Lost his first election…he’s a looooser.  Lost to icky Ted Cruz who got 28% of the Republican vote.

I eagerly awaited his concession speech and dearly hope I get to write that sentence again and again. Would he come out and once again rant about “the stupidity of the Iowa voters?” Lately he’s been jabbing Cruz with the ol’ reliable birther punch and calling him the “nastiest” person in the senate and then there were those suspicious bank loans where his wife worked and Cruz’ poll numbers seemed to be falling.

For his concession speech the Donald came out on the stage with an un-Donald-like relaxed look on his orange doughy face. He admitted to second place and congratulated “Ted.” There were scattered hoots of disappointment from his minions, however nothing scary. They too, were subdued.  He went on to tell the people of Iowa how much he loves them and was quick to add the people of New Hampshire and South Carolina to the list, sites of the next two primaries. He went on with some inanities so politely delivered, I wondered what he was up to. He was unnervingly gracious--- he must be up to something. So he can communicate without profanity. He said he was honored to run with so many qualified candidates (lie) and was happy with second place. I actually started to like him. Then he told the people of Iowa once again how wonderful they are and how much he loves them and threatened to come back and buy a farm. And calmly left the stage.

One can only imagine what went on in bed that night because he woke up snarling and tweeting.  I visualize a tiny Trumpet on each shoulder giving him advice as insomnia raises its ugly head. They are dressed in tiny suits and each sports a red tie. One is called Contrite, he who delivered the concession speech. Contrite defends his calm language and rational thinking. The other, Contrary, is madly jumping up and down on the opposite shoulder, spewing profanity.  A heated argument ensues and Contrary crosses over, grabs Contrite by the red tie and bitch-slaps him into submission.

The Donald woke up bellowing that nasty Ted Cruz had stolen the election. Yes, it was revealed over night that icky Ted’s campaign had announced the withdrawal of Ben Carson from the race the very day of the primary betting that Carson’s evangelical followers would flock to Cruz. The dishonest, disgusting media broke the story and many talking heads are saying it very well could be true. The Donald called it voter fraud and threatened to sue. He also demanded a “do-over” of the vote, but that jockstrap did not stick to the wall.