#three down!

Have you ever had a dream that wrapped you up in warm sunshine and soft clouds?  The kind of dream where you know in your heart that everything will work out and you will stand in a place of safety, love, and acceptance at last? Where your wildest wishes and hopes are in reach?

It’s the kind of dream that lets you pluck a star out of the night’s sky for your very own.

I’ve had one of those – the same dream over and over again.  I can’t guess how often.

When I would hear people murmuring in the street…

When people would shift away from me in the marketplace…

When no one would sit near me at the theater…

The dream starts with a kaleidoscope of colors whirling around me like a rainbow.  When it settles I’m in this huge open room – I can’t even begin to figure out how large it is – it looks like a coliseum or something.  Anyway…every wall is draped with tapestries.  I walk around and look at them, then realize I’m the subject of every one.  Each one shows me a different future, a different possibility.  I have a myriad of choices spread before my eyes.  Every type of woman is present…  Philipa called them archetypes when I told her about the dream, but all I could see was me.  Strange versions of me, but still me – potential for the future.

I could be any one of them and have a place in this world.

All I have to do is reach out and choose one.

But.

I don’t want a place in this world.  I want my place in this world.

A light begins to flicker and grow stronger somewhere across the coliseum-like space.  I ignore the tapestries and move towards it, curious as to what I will find.  Each movement closer causes the light to grow stronger…brighter…deeper in some way.  I step into the light.

I am surrounded by sunshine.  I can hear thunder, but it is a comforting rumble instead of a frightening crash.  Although I cannot see anyone, I can feel their presence.  People welcoming me with open arms and glad cries. I can almost make out the voices, but they drift away before I can place a name to them.  All I know is that I am wanted, needed, accepted.

I am home.

Emotion wells up inside of me and I can feel it clamoring for my attention.  It clasps at my heart, my soul, and tells me – I have to be strong, to stride forward with boldness.  I must face my fears and I must be willing to sacrifice.  My journey will be an uphill climb if I would pursue that ultimate dream.

Everything in my cries out with one voice.

Yes!

That is what I want!

I want to be home!