#thoughtsonisak

This story takes place in the universe we know, except several years later. Even and Isak live together in a small apartment in Oslo and are both going to university.

One evening, Even is finished earlier than planned with the group project he was working on at a friend’s place. He goes back home, all excited at the thought of getting to disturb Isak a little bit longer with his homework. 

(It usually goes something like this: “Isak, pay attention to me!” Eye roll. “Oh my god... You’re such a child, Even.” Mischievous grin. “Yes I am. After all, I’m your baby, ain’t I?” Non-committed snort. Half irritated, half fond smile. “Oh my god, why are you always like this? I’m trying to study!”)

When Even opens the door to their room, he finds Isak as he expected: sprawled on his stomach on their huge queen-sized bed, his computer in front of him and his long legs dangling over the edge of the mattress. What Even doesn’t expect, though, is finding his boyfriend with freaking glasses on.

Isak’s head shoots up quickly in startled surprise as he hears the door open, and Even just stares at him silently in complete shock.

What in the name of— 

“Even, hi! I... I, uhm... didn’t know you’d be coming back so early?” Isak is stuttering. His eyes (behind the glasses?!) have grown huge, and he looks like he’s trying very hard not to let out a groan — or a scream.

Then the spell is suddenly broken. Even starts laughing uncontrollably, feeling the beginnings of a cramp as he laughs and laughs and laughs at this deliciously unexpected turn of events. When he finally looks up with tears in his eyes, Isak is glaring at him and looks positively pissed.

“Fuck you, Even! What the fuck?” he exclaims loudly, sounding more indignant than furious. The sulking (and almost hurt?) edge to his voice makes Even sober up a little as he realises how his laughter might have sounded like to Isak. Feeling an unpleasant twitch in his belly, Even slowly makes his way towards his boyfriend. Isak doesn’t move and just stares ahead with a displeased frown and slightly pouty lips, apparently refusing to look at him.

“I’m sorry, babe,” Even eventually says as he sits next to Isak’s computer. His voice is soft and apologetic. “It’s just... I mean, this took me by surprise. Have you gotten new glasses behind my back?” Isak still doesn’t say anything, but Even doesn’t let it deter him. “What’s this? Where has the trust in our relationship gone? I’m deeply hurt.” He brings a hand to his own heart in mocked pain and is rewarded with a small grin tugging at his boyfriend’s lips. Good, he’s not that mad. 

“Seriously, though. I was just in shock, is all. Didn’t mean to make it seem like I’m laughing at you, cause I’m not.” 

At that, Isak looks up and their eyes meet. Even can’t help but gasp involuntarily. The blue-grey eyes boring into his are soft—annoyance and sourness almost all gone—and the plain, round, black glasses around them make the brightness in their depths stand out. It’s almost like the glasses frame Isak’s eyes and display them as a beautiful, invaluable work of art to be admired. 

“Uh, okay. Whatever,” Isak says with the trace of a smile. “But see, that’s why I didn’t wanna tell you about these glasses in the first place! I look fucking ridiculous with them, but the optometrist says I should really use them when I read if I don’t want my head to get tired all the time, so yeah...” His voice trails off and he looks away, a delightful pinkish glow spreading over his cheeks.

Even reaches for Isak’s right wrist and rubs it softly with his thumb. His heart does a thing when he hears a small gasp escape Isak’s lips.

“Who says you look ridiculous with them? Honestly, have you even looked at yourself in the mirror? You look hot as fuck!” Even doesn’t even try to keep the adoration from seeping into his voice, and Isak is apparently receptive (oh gosh) because he squirms a little against one of Even’s knees.

Isak finally sits up (without pulling his wrist away, Even notes with a happy jolt in his stomach), and both boys find themselves almost sitting on each other’s lap. Isak’s face is mere inches away from his boyfriend’s, and now it’s Even who gets all flustered and has to look away, his heart feeling too big in his chest.

Isak’s voice is low and raspy when he speaks.

“Do you really find me hot like this?” The words are warm against Even’s cheek. He shivers.

“Y— Yes,” Even answers dumbly with a nod. What the hell, did I really just nod? He feels like he should be adding something saucy and clever, but Isak’s gaze is burning into him and his body’s warmth is creeping all around Even and makes it hard to think and—

“Is it because of the kinky nerdy look? How would you feel about doing things to me... while I have glasses on?”

It’s all Even can do to not pass out when the husky whisper tickles his jaw. His throat has gone dry, so very dry, and suddenly it feels like he’s going to implode if he doesn’t touch, if he doesn’t hear and taste and smell all of Isak now. 

Oh, baby.

Even doesn’t trust his voice to function properly in that moment, so he just encloses Isak’s waist with both of his hands and pulls his boyfriend towards his chest. Isak immediately complies with the silent plea and crawls onto Even’s lap so as to straddle him. When Isak’s knees press onto either side of Even’s body and his hands settle on his bare skin somewhere below the hem of his t-shirt, Even lets out a shaky sigh. Part of himself marvels at how much of an effect Isak still has on him after they’ve been together for four years.

Gorgeous eyes, now hungry and oh so deep, bore into him through long droopy eyelashes and the slightly dirty glass of the goddamn glasses. Even can’t resit tilting his head back and admiring the whole picture: full lips asking to be kissed, curly bangs falling in a soft mess on the forehead, dark plastic frames emphasising the pinkness of the cheeks. He looks—

“Absolutely beautiful.” Even reaches out and gives a playful boop high up Isak’s nose, right on his glasses’ bridge. 

“Oh my god, shut up!” Isak blushes and squirms a bit, sending a wave of warmth through Even’s lower body. 

Others have mentioned the symbolism of the selfie stick and how Even in all likelihood is going to get hurt in some way in s4, probably in connection to his past at Bakka. These are amazing theories to consider in hindsight, but there’s something else about these few seconds between Isak and Even that touched me on a very instinctual, very raw and deep level.

I can’t stop thinking about the pure softness of the whole interaction. How Isak is leaning into Even’s space as they’re crouching on the ground; how his hand naturally follows the curve of Even’s cheek, jaw and neck as long as possible; how they’re both looking at each other as if nothing else exists in the world, as if they’re telling each other a million things without having to say a word. There’s something so incredibly trusting and intimate about the way they breathe in the same space and just drink each other in. 

And then the next punch is the unabashed naturalness and self-evidence which the boys’ contact radiates. Isak and Even are standing in a party full of people they know and people they probably don’t, people who might observe and judge them, and yet Isak doesn’t spare them a single second. There’s no hint of doubt or shame whatsoever in his body language. He’s entirely focused on Even — not only on helping him, but also on simply breathing him in and existing together with him. Even though both of them are in fact affected by the chain reaction initiated by Sana, Isak’s body seems to entirely revolve in the space around Even and to exist independently from all else around them. It’s not that Isak is trying to ignore the gaze of others: he simply doesn’t think about it at all. People’s opinion, people’s judgment, none of it matters anymore.