#thoughtsandmindsandideas

You would come to a point in your life where you would envy those people who had their oh-so-perfect relationship. How they talk about their relationship like it’s the most greatest thing ever. How they would stay up late talking about nothing. How they would tease and laugh at each other just cause y’know they’re retards. How they would dance and make weird faces then laugh cause you both have no idea what the hell you’re doing. How you would sing to each other. How you would kiss each other playfully. How you would stare at each other like everything’s alright. How you would held each others hand like they’re a part of you. How you would hug and feel that you’re always protected and safe and that no one’s gonna stop you know. How you would suddenly smile just because you remember him/her. How you would feel those butterflies each time you talk. How everything makes sense to you. And how you would feel like its the greatest thing that has ever happened to you and you wouldn’t want it to end, EVER. Those kind of relationship. Though it may sound cheesy and cliche but you know this kind of things, happen.

To tell you the truth, it happened once in my life. I was all young and inlove. To cut the story short, shit happened then the rest is history. I’m just saying that maybe it’s true with what they’ve all been saying, you’ll have those sweet I-wouldn’t-want-this-to-end moments on your relationship on those first months or I dunno years then you’d eventually fight and go through a lot of shit like you’ve never been happy before. Things happen and you wouldn’t have any choice to accept it. From happiness to tears. There’s this stage where either one of you did something wrong, then you would fight over it and curse the world for all you care, you would be upset about it for days, then you both would realize what you did and how stupid you both were, then you could compromise and agree and PROMISE that you wouldn’t do it again, then you would go back to being young and inlove, then eventually do something wrong for the nth time, well, y’know what’s next. It’s a mean cycle, but that’s just it. You keep expecting, you end up disapponted. Then you overthink. It keeps happening then you would realize that things would be falling apart and you have no idea how to stop it. I KNOW, harsh. Well, what do you expect?

I'm just saying that we need to realize that some things don't stay that way all the time. You would go through a lot of things that would change you. You wouldn't want things to stop but it would. People lie, truth hurts, feelings change. You need to embrace the hurt with so much understanding and you need to accept that your expectations wouldn't happen like you've always imagined it will. It's real. All there's left are memories.

It feels weird talking about this with what I'm feeling now. Oh well.

Wala, narealize ko lang tuwing birthday ko nalang ineexpect kong may gagawin siyang kakaiba. May surprise o special greeting o something na magpapakilig saken. Magsisimula araw ko hanggang matapos na naghahantay lage sa wala. Every year nalang nageexpect ako, every year nalang din nadidisappoint ako. Masaklap lang kanina naisip ko ‘Nung kayo nga wala siyang ginagawa, ngayon pa kayang hindi na kayo. Asa ka pa, Chloie’ HAHA. Maganda pa jan, wala na nga siyang ginawa, binadtrip pa ko. Kung di pa ko siguro online, wala akong matatanggap na bati.

Sabihin mo nga Chloie, eto pa ba yung gusto mo? Kasalanan ko bang magexpect? Oh well. Tangna, hindi na nga tayo, nasasaktan pa din ako.

Yun siguro problema ko. Nahihirapan akong sabihin kung ano yung iniisip ko. Parang tama naman yung nasa isip ko minsan, ba’t iba yung nasasabi ko. Hanggang sa isip ko nalang siya. Hindi ko alam kung tama bang hanggang dun nalang yun, ang hindi ko nalang sasabihin para hindi nalang magkalabuan o magkagulo. Hindi ko din kase alam kung maiintindihan pa din ba yung gusto ko iparating. Mas malinaw yung nasa isip ko kaysa sa sinasabi ko. Kaya lang, napapagpatong-patong kaya kadalasan kung ano-ano na din naiisip. Halo-halo na, anjan yung nagaassume ka na, ganito ganyan. Hirap na hirap ako iexpress yung sarili ko lalo na patungkol sa kung ano ba talaga yung nararamdaman ko, yung totoo. Pakiramdam ko ang dami pang dapat sabihin na hindi ko pa nasasabi. Ang dami kong nararamdaman na hindi ko din nasasabi.

Kaya minsan mas okay na yung hindi nagsasalita. Walang magtatanong o walang huhusga.

Kinikilig ako. Woo!!! Katext ko si crush kaninang umaga~ Nag-gm ako ng bitter na text. Tapos nagreact siya, bitter ko daw. Tas dun na nagstart. HUHU ang saya ko, wat is dis life. Hindi ko man siya nakita ngayon, kanina lang naglalakad siya sa daan tapos may kasama siya girls girls girls. Tas kahapon sinasabe niya daw kaila Macha ‘Tawagin niyo si Chloie’ HIHI BAGIIIT. Eh nakakatamad sumali saka pro silang naglalaro. Maya-maya siya na tumawag sakin ‘Chloie, tara!’ Enebe. Pero inaasar niya ko sa isa kong crush. KAHAPON NA-BRO FIST KO SILA PAREHO. Muntikan na ko di maghugas. Para akong tangang nakangiti sa jeep… Yoko na. Pero katext ko ulet siya ngayon :">

Oo, finals na. Bilis ng panahon, parang kahapon lang nung first day ko sa school tas kinakabahan ako kase baka sobrang hirap nang magiging buhay ko dito at wala na kong magagawa, pero eto sumurvive pa rin hanggang Finals. MATATAPOS NA FIRST SEM, CHLOIE! NAKASURVIVE KA! CONGRATS! Mehehe, ty. Ilang weeks na rin lang at sembreak naaaaa. SEMBREAK NA! ANG PINAKAHIHINTAY KO NA SEMBREAK!!! Nagstart ang first sem hanggang matapos, sembreak lang ang pinakaaabangan ko. MALAPIT NAAAAAAA!

Pero bago daw magsaya mga studyante, tatambakan daw muna kami ng gagawin. BDTRP. Okay lang ba tong mga instructors namin. Sunday ngayon, iniisip ko nga kung weekend pa ba to sa lagay na to kung nagkapatong-patong ang mga kailangan gawin at tapusin.

Activity 1 in IT. Presenting SLU, gamit ng Moviemaker. Hindi ko pa natatapos, actually dapat napasa ko na siya kahapon, kaya lang yung USB, nawala dun, kaya kailangan ko ulet ulitin sa simula. Buti nalang pinagbigyan kame ni Sir na pwedeng ipass next meeting, yay

Autobiography. Moviemaker din. Next meeting na din kailangan ipass kaya medyo, goodluck saken. Pagtiyatiyagaan ko to gawin.

Reaction Paper in HTM. Hindi ko to alaaaaam. May sinabe si Mam na format na kailangan namin sundan, gets ko naman yung dapat ilagay pero wala kase akong maalala sa pinanonood namin, tama ba yun. Di jk, naalala ko lang ang pangalan nung bida, Inglay. Pano yung nagddrums kase yung pinapanood hindi yung nagpeperform. Kala ko matatapos tong sem na to na walang reaction paper na papagawa, at eto may pahabol si Mam Ostino. First and last reaction paper for this sem, ugh

Report in Theo. Madali naman report ko, ata. Sabe ni Kuya Kevin e. Inexplain niya saken na pwede ko naman daw iexplain yung report ko by the title itself. Hindi ko pa masyado nababasa pero keri naman siguro yun, kasama ko naman si Arlene. Kala ko ulet matatapos tong sem na to na walang reporting na ipapagawa as in report talaga na individual, pero eto pahabol nanaman. Lahat ba talaga ng mga schoolwork na ayaw ng mga studyante sa Finals dapat ipagawa?

Group report in Theo. Kami pa naman unang-una pero hindi pa namin nasisimulan o napaguusapan as a group. Tinatanong ko naman si leader kung pano gagawin namin sa Theo, hindi naman daw niya alam. Haii. Buti kagroup ko si Macha, kahet papano may karamay.

Research in Math. Wala kaming Math last meeting e, kaya eto yung kapalit. Hindi pa daw chechekan ni Mam kung pare-pareho kami ng gawa. Eh malamang sa malamang, sa Google kame aasa. Kaya pinagiisipan ko kung san hahanapin yung pinapahanap ni Mam. Bahala na.

Lahat to, due this week. Kaya bawal muna magpapetiks-petiks ngayong weekend. Kung hindi ko to matatapos ngayong araw na to, na sana naman kahet papano may matapos ako kahet dalawa o tatlo man lang sa mga yan. Sana talaga. Wala naman akong ibang rason para hindi gawin yun bukod sa katamaran, na ayokong pairalin ngayon. Ramdam kong Finals na talaga. Minsan ang iniisip ko nalang, matapos lang to, sembreak na. HAHA. Bdtrp, nakaasa nanaman ako sa sembreak. Pero di nga, malapit na sembreak, Chloie. Wala kang gagawin sa sembreak, magbabakasyon ka lang at kakain at matutulog at gagala. Yun pag ganun naiisip ko, naiinspire ako e. HAHAHA di jk, kaya ko to.