this morning while my train was like half an hour late and I was waiting I texted with a guy I've kind of liked for a while and after that conversation after his cold replies I decided to let go of any crushes I've been having on any guys for a while. I'll try to concentrate on building my own life right now and stop wasting my energy on people who only make me feel disappointed in the end because for a long time it's been like that with most guys i've had any interest in... it's because of the distance mostly that feelings just fade away and it's all stupid.
i want to wait for a person who actually really cares and let go of all these little dream boys i've had in the past now.
though I have no idea how long it will take.
blahh and I took a nap for like two hours and now I hate everything and I have to go sleep and the four am wake up is waiting for me and I thought I wouldn't have to be the person in charge tomorrow but nope things got changed and I must be alone in charge of things for like a week more... sigh sigh sigh
well at least the new carpets I got to my place make me happy, it feels more like home now.
ok good night.. though no one cares.. haah