Ranting a lil here because I have a lot of thoughts about atau phainon in my head (can ignore cause I might delete it later)
The thing about Phainon of Aedes Elysiae is that he is the prophesied hero, the deliverance who brings about the era nova, the bearer of worlds in Amphoreus in game. But what happens when he isn’t a bound by prophecy or titans? What happens that he actually gets to enjoy a good childhood before coming to terms with adulthood like the rest of society? What if he never survives the traumas because he never had them? (One good thing about this mess).
I would like to think he isn’t much a hero, but has a complex of one. He’s the guy the aunties are constantly comparing their kids to, and seems like everyone just loves him (he could’ve a ceo position at 10 and literally no one would be surprised/jk).
But people forget that the statue of the person they admire has feelings too, that this person who seems so easy going and carefree actually cares the most.
The constant expectations, the incessant voices ringing in his mind telling him that everyone wants him to aspire to greatness because everyone thinks he is great. He’s kind. He’s polite. He gets good grades. Everybody knows him and everybody wants to be friends with him. In their eyes, he’s a sun too far beyond their reach.
And he feels afraid. He thinks that he isn’t much different than the next guy, that he’s just a person trying to make each day count and give back to the people who got him to this peak. He isn’t untouchable, he’s human like the rest. He’s Phainon not a hero.
But they don’t see it. You don’t see it at first, too. He seems bright, too bright that you think that you might get burnt from his kind words. So, you throw on a pair of shades and say what the heck? He can’t be this good. You both talk, you both go to classes together, eat at cafés together, you both judge each others music taste to hell and back; you’re a jigsaw piece Phainon never knew he was missing before. And you’re right, he isn’t good, he’s perfect and you’ll be crying over him for the rest of your life.
And he hates how much vulnerable he feels. A person who finally sees the guy not the gold, finally recognises him for what he actually is and he’s terrified of ending it all with a press of his lips to yours. One confession could doom it all and he would lose you and he knows what overthinking looks like but he isn’t taking a chance.
He would rather have you as friend he dreams about kissing than never have you in his life at all.
(Ironically, you feel the same. Just in different font ;3)
