#thornsguarded

@thornsguarded​ :    “Sebek,” The questioning tone is Silver’s tone is already clear. “Why is Pearce calling you a ‘little sprite boy’? What does that mean?”

Surely there must be more Princely things he could do, if this is truly his role here, in this... "game." Not that he has a castle or a crown or anything that makes a prince an actual prince. Maybe it's the manners, if anything, that make the difference.

He'd been quiet for a brief moment, mulling it over. Until an idea struck him. "Yuzuha," His voice is steady, in the way it always is, emotionless but Silver all the same. He gingerly takes her hand and leans down to press a kiss to her knuckles. Brief but powerful in its own right.

If there is one thing a Prince always does, he always has time to kiss the Princess.

Lots of people are confusing in this world; there are moments when they break out of the make - believe roles she’s decided they fit and she’s reminded that these people are as real as she is (  and maybe that’s the problem, because that doesn’t feel very real at all  ) and that’s hard because Yuzuha doesn’t understand people at all.  Never has.  That’s why she puts them in boxes, so that the routes get clearer.

Idia, she gets.  He listens to her, at least sometimes he listens to her, because they like the same things, and that’s new and nice all on its own, but he wouldn’t care what she had to say if she wasn’t talking about games or anime.  Deuce makes sense; he tries to listen to her because he’s polite, but he doesn’t really care, and even Yuzuha, bad as she is at guessing a lie, can tell he’s pretending by now — and even the ‘caring enough to pretend’ seems sweet, though she’s stopped talking as much around him.  Ace, she gets, too — he doesn’t even pretend to care or get it, and that’s fine, it’s just nice that he doesn’t avoid her or think she’s a freak.  

But Silver doesn’t make any sense.  Not because he’s not princely the way his archetype is supposed to be — he is, and more — but because he listens to her.  He doesn’t play or really even like games like Idia does, but he listens to her, not - pretending like Deuce does and not - ignoring like Ace does, and that doesn’t make any sense.  He doesn’t just tolerate it, he’s interested.  

Nobody wants to hear about this if they aren’t already into it, nobody cares about what she’s infodumping.  Her eyes get wide and bright every time he proves that wrong, and it’s hard not to drown him in more trivia whenever they’re near each other, even if only just for the still - new sensation of anybody other than her brother caring enough about what Yuzuha has to say — about Yuzuha — to listen even if they don’t entirely get it. 

She’s been doing much of that all day as the two spent it together; now that they’ve made it back to the Diasomnia lounge, she’s tired herself out both verbally and socially, which makes space for quiet.  She lays upside down on the sofa, long legs over the back and back against the seat, and he’s sitting quietly beside her, and it’s quiet as she runs a few lessons on one of her phone games — they nudge one another occasionally, almost not thinking of it, just to signal that they’re still here in the silence.

It’s Silver that breaks the rare silence, and that’s another something Yuzu hadn’t expected.  She looks to him, head tilting upwards, eyes wide and curious and hair a mess around her face, escaping her braids because of how she’s laying.  She never mistakes the flat of his voice for disinterest, and when he reaches for her hand she meets him halfway without noticing she’s done so until her hand is in his and then her hand is ——

And then he’s ———

Yuzuha’s never been kissed before.  Not anywhere, and it’s just her hand but — he’s the prince, and he looks so much like one now, bending low to kiss her like she’s the princess and she’s sitting upside down in a chair like an idiot and her cheeks are bright red and her eyes are huge and this is different than the kind of kisses she’s daydreamed about having and in this moment she thinks it means much, much more.

@thornsguarded​ asked:  There seems to be very little difference between rain and tears, Silver discovers. He's never been much of a crier, but sitting on the cold forest floor in the dark at the mercy of the rain, ruminating on the news that he is not really Lilia's blood son brings it out of him. Part of him wants to see his father, while the other disappointed part wants otherwise. The 8 year old brings his knees to his chest and wraps his arms around them. If he's neither fae or Lilia's son, then who is he really?

IT’S NOT AS though lilia has made an attempt to hide silver being far from his son by blood — from their strikingly different appearances alone, lilia assumed it was quite obvious. but that was, as he’s discovered recently, a mistake on his part, to assume such logic from a child. 

and so lilia is running through the forest at night, in the pouring rain, in search of a confused and lost child he loves so dearly. ( and he can’t get his bat familiars to do anything when the rain is like this, so running through the forest without a clear idea of which direction silver took off in it is. ) a gentle glow emanates from his magical gem as he holds it above his head, magic projecting a soft light to dull the shadows and stopping the rain from falling onto the old fae. “ silver!! ” he calls into the night, knowing his voice won’t carry that well but trying nonetheless.

perhaps he should have had more tact when answering the boy’s question, he considers as he searches. perhaps laughing — even if amused and far from cruel — only served to further confuse the poor child. there is so much lilia is still learning himself, raising a child of his own alone. ( well, he has malleus’ help on occasion, and he had raised malleus as well, but he had more help then from others loyal to the royal bloodline. this life, in a little cottage to call home away from stone walls and constant reminders of a less pleasant time long - past is different. this is a learning experience... and at times silver suffers for it, it seems. )

but lilia isn’t merely a simple father wandering aimlessly while looking for his runaway son, and his sharp ruby eyes catch sight of a freshly - snapped twig, small enough for a child’s weight to have broken. and he follows that trail — slipped - on mud here, a faint remainder of a footprint sheltered from most of the rain there — to where silver is huddled with his knees pulled to his chest. for a moment lilia just stares down at him as he lifts his head to meet his gaze — that confusion, that upset, those aurora eyes rimmed red from crying... lilia’s old heart aches, and he kneels down to be closer to level with silver, the two magically sheltered from the rain now.

“ i understand you’re no doubt upset with me for concealing something like that from you, ” lilia says, voice loud enough to carry over the sound of the heavy rain but still soft. he watches as silver chews his bottom lip, eyes widening a bit as more tears threaten to fall. lilia reaches a hand out to tenderly wipe some of the water from his cheek, offering the boy a warm little smile. “ it was far from my intention to keep a secret. i mistakenly thought it didn’t matter. you’re my son, silver — just as much if not more than you would be if we were related by blood. you mean more to me than anything in this world, and i never want you to be confused about your place here. ”

silver’s eyes go wide with awe and emotion, lips trembling — but he doesn’t get the chance to say anything as lightning illuminates the forest around them in sharp contrast to the shadows, pale eyes flashing in the light. thunder cracks almost instantly after, and the boy throws himself instinctively into his father’s arms. lilia is knocked backwards into the mud, but he doesn’t care as he catches the now well and truly crying and terrified child. “ ‘m sorry, ” silver cries, and lilia shakes his head as he kisses his temple as the boy clings to him.

“ no, no, dear child. you have naught to apologize for, and all would be forgiven if you did. ” he doesn’t once let his grip on his son falter as he stands, now damp from rain and mud and far from upset about either, so strong is his relief and love. “ now, let’s go home and get out of this storm that snuck up on us rather rudely, hm?? and we can get dry and comfortable. ”

The thing is, Yuu’s not stupid.  They can be slow to pick up on the obvious when the obvious isn’t life - threatening, sure.  The teasing they’ve gotten about not putting together that M.D. is Malleus Draconia is proof enough of that.  But they’re not stupid.  Not in the ways that matter.  If their life is in danger or the stakes are high, they always find an out — they can outwit anyone, outlast anyone, outrun anyone.  Staying alive is their speciality.  So is saving.  Themself, sometimes.  Others, mostly.

Yuu’s not stupid.  They’ve figured out how to save.  They’ve got the role down pat.  The role that keeps them safe and, more importantly, keeps them good, keeps them from being the sort of selfish that ruined the last family they gave a shit about.  They know what they’re here for — they eat everyone else’s hurt (  literally, in some ways, the ink - taste is almost perpetual now  ) so that the others can heal.  They don’t look at the scar Riddle left them with.  They try not to think about the air choked with sand, the way Ruggie screamed.  They try to forget Azul’s eyes when he wanted them dead.  They promise Vil they don’t blame them, even though they haven’t been able to eat anything without anxiety since.  They forgo sleep so that when Kalim wakes with tears, someone is there.  They forgive Grim.

They are — a tool.  An empty something.  A receptacle for other people’s hurts.  Yuu takes them, and takes them, and lets others inflict whatever harm they need to on them, so the others can come out the other side better.  And that is good.  That makes them good.

Yuu’s not stupid.  They know the role.  And they know they shouldn’t be caught crying, because they shouldn’t let it hurt, and if it has to hurt them break them kill them then they’re not supposed to show it.  Just smile.  Just smile.  If you can’t smile, then be quiet, at least.

“S - Sorry,” they mutter, wiping at their eyes.  They’re not sure why Silver’s here, in the forest outside the school — Yuu comes here when things get too heavy, when they can’t breathe.  Yuu’s not stupid, because they couldn’t afford to be.  But they are tired.  They’re so fucking tired of getting hurt and not looking at their body because they’d have to see the new scar and not blaming Vil even though they dream of poison and not looking at Azul because they’re scared his eyes will look like that.  They’re tired of throwing up other people’s blot blot.  They’re tired, and they’re sorry that they’re not a better vessel for everyone else’s pain.  

“Sorry.”  And they’re sorry that Silver found them, when that’s not the role.  “Mmm — I’m okay.  Promise.”  It’s a lie, and it sounds like it, but Yuu at least has the good sense not to elaborate and make it worse.  Their eyes raise from their knees (  pulled to their chest  ) to Silver standing before them, and they manage a shaky smile, tears still falling down their cheeks.

LILIA IS REMINDED of silver falling asleep beneath the shelter of trees as nothing more than a boy as he tenderly smooths some of his hair back from his forehead — and he’s truly a young man now, no longer a boy, and so lilia won't pick him up and carry him to a proper place to sleep, no matter how easy it would be. instead he settles down against the tree silver has fallen asleep under to enjoy the crisp afternoon air, taking to playing some game or another on a handheld system.

Ah—she's hurt.

"Yuzuha," Silver's steps to her are rushed, his usual indifferent expression replaced with a seriousness only reserved for issues involving Malleus. Seldom does he show such intense concern for those outside of Diasomnia. The birds flit and chirp overhead, as if equally alarmed. He kneels before her, fingers gently lifting Yuzu's chin so he can assess the wound. "Who did this to you? What happened?"

She’s grateful, in some silly way, a function of her tendency towards positivity or a bitter irony.  Before coming to this world, Yuzuha had never been subjected to violence — not of any physical sort, exactly — despite her grim unpopularity.  Night Raven College has been a veritable bastion of new experiences — new friends, new loves, new everything.  It’s also been, consistently, doing her harm.

Riddle’s overblot leaves her bruised.  Azul’s is worse.  The air choked with either sand or poison.  A broken finger that nobody needs to know about, ringing in her head when she moves too fast.  A busted lip shouldn’t be anything compared to the horrors she’s been subjected to already, but...

But ———

Her shoulders stiffen, her eyes wide and bleary, tears down her cheeks when Silver finds her, tilts her head to inspect the wound.  Her lips part to answer, but all that comes out is a quiet, terrified whimper.  This shouldn’t be anything, but it is.  And Pearce had been so angry ——

Yuzuha inhales sharply to stem to sobbing.  Silver is here and she, above all else, trusts Silver.  She’s okay so long as Silver is here.  “I’m okay,” she tries to assure.  It’s just a minor wound, even if she’s trembling.  This shouldn’t be anything, but it mattered that almost every wound that’s been inflicted on her body has been a side - effect — of someone’s overblot, their hurt.  It wasn’t intentional, cold and calculating.  Not like this had been.  For someone to choose to hurt her — to seek her out, purposeful, with the intention of ———

Yuzuha is many things.  But she can’t imagine doing that.  To anyone.

“I — I pissed off an upperclassman, I guess,” she says, words muffled a bit by her hands as she tries to wipe the blood from her chin.  When they brush at her lip, she winces.  “He cornered me, and — hit me.”  Trapped, back to the wall, hands on either side of her head / standing over her wilted form, if you so much as look at Barbara again I’ll do worse than this, got it?  Yuzuha chokes back around sob, hands fisting in the grass, and tries a smile — it hurts the wound.

Is it worse if she considers this a bad end to Pearce’s route, steps she mistook but which were at least in her control, or — is it worse if there was nothing she could have done to stop this?  Is it worse if anyone could decide they want to hurt her for no reason at all?

She’s never even been mean to Barbara, really.  She just doesn’t know how to play her game, is tired of being treated like a freak.  Yuzuha spends her whole life ignored and reviled and called horrible names, and she never sent Kanta after anyone.  But Yuzuha doesn’t pretend that Barbara is perfect, and now...

Well.  It’s worked.  She won’t look at Barbara again.  She hiccups, tears slowing, and tries to be brave.  She’s okay, she is, and Silver is here, and she trusts him.  Loves him.

WHAT!!!!

Oh, oh, this is so much.  This is so much.  Ever since Silver kissed her hand, Yuzuha hasn’t been able to think of anything else, and Ace keeps teasing her for zoning out in class.  But this is different — the prince — her prince oh my god this is so cringey why is she thinking like that — approaching her in the foggy courtyard, blessedly empty so no one else has to see how red she’s turning and taking her hand and —

He bends to kiss the back of her palm, then looks up at her with fathomless eyes, calling her princess and asking — what does she think of him?

Yuzuha might pass out.  This only happens in otome games or magical girl animes, not real life.  He’s so handsome.  He looks so much like a prince right now, waiting patiently for an answer, a smile faint ‘pon his lips, still holding her trembling hand.  He’s so handsome and she’s so weird and — this is crazy, this can’t be happening, but —

But his hand is warm, and Silver’s always so kind to her.  She owes him an answer, and Yuzuha doesn’t know how to lie, even if she isn’t entirely sure of her feelings.  

“I — I’m not sure — but — but I think that I l —”

She wakes up.

Or rather, Grim wakes her up, little paws on her cheeks — her sunburned cheeks — and a whined command for the hench - human to awake.  Her eyes are wide when they finally snap open, cheeks turning as red as they’d been in the dream.  She jerks up, catapulting the cat that had been on her chest across the room as she does, hand pressing to her face.  Oh!  Oh!  It had been a dream!  That makes sense!  That makes the most sense, actually!  Obviously that would just be a dream because ——

Because Yuzuha’s just...a weird girl, and Silver’s so handsome and kind.  He really is just like a prince.  And even if this was an otome game, like she thought at first, and not just a group of people in some sort of a story, it would still...there’s just no way.  There’s just no way.

But he did kiss her hand once, for real...