#thor anon

Agitate my muse! ((tagging @tarnishedxknight because it's relevant, and then I'm gonna tag Thor and Luciana anon in the tags!))

Gylfie felt her throat constrict at the question, and she turned her head. Her lips pursed as she remained silent - refusing to answer. No, of course she hadn't told them what she had done. How could she? Even though it had been for the good of Archadia - and it had been - she... gods above, how was she supposed to look them in the eye and explain how she murdered her own kin? Would they understand it? With Silas, she had to imagine they would, as he would have killed Larsa, but, with Takrin...

She bit her tongue to keep her sharp words to herself - to keep from correcting them of Takrin's relation to her. He was not her father, but... he was her uncle, and did that difference truly matter in the end? He was still of her blood, and it was a lie she... needed to carry. But, lie or not, Silas had been her brother, if only partially, and she still...

“Gylfie? What are you doing up so late?” Thor asked, taking a step into the room where her — what even were they to each other at this point? She had no idea — friend was training.

She wore a long, dark blue robe and a lacy, if modest, white nightgown. Her soft brown hair fell down her back, and she wore no makeup whatsoever. This was the barest she’d let Gylfie see her, and though Asgardians were not gods, Thor had dehumanized herself a great deal in favor of politics and duty. She felt raw and exposed, but she brushed it off in favor of taking care of her friend.

“You should get some rest. I know you fear for my safety, but if you force yourself past your limits tonight, exhaustion will hold you back.” Thor’s eyes didn’t quite meet Gylfie’s. Should she really be revealing this? Yes, she thought, she should. Gylfie deserved to see her as a person who had her own limits, weaknesses, and flaws. Maybe that would make her feel better about how close the last assassin had come to wounding her. Loss was a powerful motivator, as was the fear of it; Gylfie might not have openly said as much, but Thor knew she’d lost something important to her in the past. “I myself have been struggling with what happened, but… I am here for you if you wish to speak about it. I must stand strong for my people’s sake. I cannot afford to back down now, not when everyone is counting on me and my word matters more than ever. This is not the first time something like this has happened; do not fret. Why don’t you follow me to my quarters? I can make us both tea, you can get cleaned up, and we can attempt to get some rest.”

{for the And Again starter!}

—

And Again | closed reply

continued from here

The sound of Thor’s voice startled her, and Gylfie quickly came to stand at attention. Her heart lurched - both out of embarrassment to be caught in such a state and because of who it was - and she shakily sheathed her sword. Offering a small bow of her head. “Just… training, my Lady,” she replied, though her voice was hoarse and quiet. Strained, really. And while she wanted to keep her helm on… she reluctantly slid it off to show Thor the same respect she showed those of House Solidor. Her dark hair tied back and stringy from sweat as it clung to her skin. Dried blood crusted around her nose and lip from her earlier bloody nose, and her eyes dull with exhaustion.

Gods above, she looked like an utter wreck standing there before the Senator. Who looked... oh, gods, Thor was absolutely beautiful, and Gylfie may as well have dragged herself out of the sandsea. How disheveled and weak was she, standing in armor that almost felt ill-fitting despite being her own. With her body on the brink of collapse with how far she had pushed herself. And how poor a Judge Magister was she, to stand in the presence of the woman she was meant to serve and protect, with naught but the energy to withstand a light breeze. To draw Thor’s attention and worry onto her, as if she didn’t have the weight of the worlds upon her shoulders--

Gylfie almost sank to her knees to apologize for such a lapse in judgement when Thor spoke next, and she did her best not to recoil as she averted her own gaze. Guilt weighing heavy in her chest at the reminder. What a failure she was that night. “I know,” she said - her voice still quiet. “My apologies, Th--” Mind your place. “--my Lady.” With a slow, shaky breath in - one that rattled more than she would like - she lifted her head, and felt a pang in her heart, seeing the way the Senator kept her eyes away. She really did it this time, hadn’t she? Foolish girl! But, gods, she would be damned if she let anything happen to Thor, and she had already come so close to--

She could hardly let herself finish the thought.

Her eyes widened, however, as Thor told her she could speak to her about it, and Gylfie found herself shaking her head before she could even understand what was being said. It was she who should be taking care of Thor - not the other way around, regardless of how she felt. Regardless of how touched she was. “You are-- You are kind, my Lady,” she rasped, and prayed her voice did not quiver. Because, oh, how she wanted to accept her offer. To spend time with her - to be there to be certain she was safe. To see that she was safe, and ease the weight on her mind. To be close to her, because she... “But I will be fine. ‘Tis I who should be looking after you in this time, and yet I’m--” She choked on her words - frustration and guilt burning in her throat as she dropped her gaze. “I assure you, I will still be able to protect you. Your offer is kind, but do not fret over me. I apologize again for my actions.” She knew better. Gods above, did she know better. But... she didn’t want to leave Thor so easily.

“You are very cute,” Thor said, beaming at Gylfie. The circumstances that had brought them together weren’t ideal — there had been numerous attempts on Thor’s life from various assassins, so the Judge Magisters had sent Gylfie to protect her — but she was glad they’d met. They had to spend a lot of time together, though, so it was good that they got along so well. “But you don’t have to call me Senator Odinsdottir all the time. I think we’re on a first name basis by now, don’t you?”

—

Call my muse cute to see their reaction!

Did… Thor just call her cute? Very cute?

Gylfie opened her mouth to speak, but her words failed her. Warmth rushing into her cheeks as her heart skipped a beat. Had she called her cute because of her appearance? Because her insistence on following formalities was endearing or amusing in some way? Perhaps that was it.

It was better to believe that than get her hopes up.

She quickly closed her mouth and cleared her throat lightly to recover. Her face still warm as she tried to get her heartbeat back under control, though she hardly could, seeing the way Thor beamed at her. Oh, how beautiful was she...

“I understand you’re doing this for the Empire, but what about us?” The Empire. That’s what this argument was about. It was what every single one of their arguments had been about. It was par for the course, considering they were both actively involved in politics, but Thor felt like it was all they ever talked about lately. “You returned two weeks ago, yet I feel as if you’re still a ghost. I know duty has kept us both busy, but I’ve missed you, and… you’ve been spending so much time with your family lately. Are you upset with me? Do you not wish to speak with me?”

“Do you ever wonder if we’re on the wrong side?” Thor asked. Her voice was barely above a whisper. Gylfie had always had a temper, and she was angrier than ever when her father had practically denied her the position of Judge Magister. Thor was echoing sentiments she’d heard from Gylfie in the past, but the uneasiness in her stomach couldn’t be ignored forever. “What if Archadia isn’t what we thought it was? What if it’s become corrupted beyond saving? I took an oath, Gylfie, I do not believe I could just dutifully stand by… and the sorts of things the Archadian representatives have been saying in the Congress of Worlds about nethicite chill me to the bone.”

Thor wasn’t from Archadia, and she never would be, no matter how loyal her lover was to her homeland. She didn’t mean to insinuate that the sacrifices had all been for nothing, but at the same time, was Gylfie willingly choosing to ignore the mess the Empire was creating? Or did she really just not care? What happened to the woman who had confessed her love in Thor’s private chambers after protecting her from an attempt on her life?

“I’m becoming afraid. I know that’s not your intention, but… you want to shut me out all the time. A-and you’re keeping secrets from me.” They both were keeping secrets from each other, and their relationship itself was a secret, yet the tension between them was still palpable. What had changed since the last time they’d seen each other? “Please, Gylfie, let me in.”

Thor sighed, and she slid her arm around her lover’s shoulders. She leaned her cheek lightly on her arm. She didn’t want to lose her partner because of politics, and there was no denying her feelings hadn’t changed at all. The five months they’d spent apart had made her heart grow fonder, as the saying went, and she remembered how Gylfie had kissed her when she first arrived on Midgard. If only Thor could get through to her…

“Look,” she said. Her room was quite nice, and she glanced out over the balcony’s edge. The sun was setting, and although Asgard had its own beautiful sights, she was awestruck by the view from her apartment on Midgard. Her soft, loose, pink gown and messy brown bun were far less formal than the clothing she usually wore, yet her own distinct style was clear enough. Her sense of identity was stronger than ever, and she could only hope that her love and pure soul could bring Gylfie back from whatever darkness she was battling.

“I’m sorry. Let’s not talk of politics or war. Let’s say they don’t exist here, in this place. It’s just you and I. You can hold me in your arms, and we can pretend we’re back on Asgard. No responsibilities to distract us, no duties to create distance between us. When we talked about running away together and marrying in secret. The purest of loves, that’s what Sylvie said… Gylfie, I still love you. I’ll never stop loving you. Just… please. I need you, my dearest, especially in times like these. Do not abandon me.”

—

continued from here

What about us? she wanted to ask, but held her tongue - knowing better to say such a thing aloud. “You and I must put our peoples first,” she whispered, but even with their arguments, she never sounded angry. She never raised her voice. Never at Thor. She just sounded… tired. “My love, I want nothing more than to put this all behind to spend my days with you, but I swore an oath to defend my homeland. It is my duty to act in service of the Empire. You know this. And now that my–”

Her voice caught in her throat, and Gylfie could not stop her tears from welling. “It… This is not because of you,” she rasped, and her voice wobbled. “’Tis nothing like… like that. My brother, he… he…” Her head shook, and she stepped away - dragging her hands down her face before she pressed them together and held them against her lips. Her hands trembling as she did her best to steel herself. “Silas is dead.” Her words were hollow and faint - strained against grief she tried to swallow. “My father is a wreck. I have been trying to lead in his stead, but I… I cannot…” Gylfie closed her eyes and took in a shaky breath. Struggling to keep herself composed. “It is all wrong, Thor. Everything is all wrong.”

And it could have been avoided. It could have been avoided if–

Gylfie’s attention snapped back to her partner - her eyes clouded with tears unshed, and she remained silent. Her stomach twisted to hear the words she had once spoken - the words she… hardly believed in. No, she could not believe such a thing. Not when she had gotten so far. Not with everything she had done. Not with her brother’s blood– “I cannot afford to think such things,” she said quietly, despite how ill she felt. “I am doing what I can to save Archadia, and all of Ivalice. I know… I know it may not seem that way, but, my dear–”

She lowered her hands and turned to Thor once more. A desperation bright in her teary eyes as her heart began to beat faster. Please believe me. “The Empire is not too far gone. I know it… it doesn’t seem like it, but a plan is in place, and I must adhere to my part. I need to– I must do this for my brother. I need to play my part, my love. There is a sickness within the Empire, yes-” oh, calling House Solidor a sickness was just barely scratching the surface, “-but it can be fixed. It will be. Thor…”

Gylfie closed the distance between them, and finally took her partner’s hands within her own - squeezing them reassuringly. “Please. Believe me when I say it will not be this way forever. Archadia will change, but we need to play this carefully, or all could be lost. I wish I could tell you more.” And, oh, how that was true. She wanted to let Thor in completely - to reveal to her the quiet plans of encouraging Gramis to rally for peace, and to prevent Vayne from taking the throne. But she had to be cautious, and she feared she would only invite trouble if Thor knew of what was lurking beneath Archadia’s surface. Thor would not betray her, she knew, but she could not trust anyone else around her.

Agony flickered in Gylfie’s eyes as Thor spoke again, and she leaned forward and pressed a tender kiss against her forehead. Still holding her hands as she then pressed her head against hers. “I do not mean to,” she murmured, “but I do not wish to endanger you. To deal with Archadia’s politics is to deal with vipers, and I do not wish to see you bit. Please, my love, just… just trust me in this. Trust that I know what I am doing. I promise, one day, you will not have to fear Archadia’s need for nethicite, for, one day, we will never use it again.” She wanted so desperately for Thor to understand this - to understand that she was doing what was needed. It was not pretty - no, what needed to be done was messy and dangerous - but she would save the Empire. Somehow, she would.

She kissed her partner’s cheek, and let go of her hands as Thor moved to wrap her arms around her shoulders. Gylfie said nothing as she pulled Thor closer and wrapped her arms around her lower back, and nuzzled into her hair. Her heart fluttered, her love for Thor as strong as ever. Gods above, she loved her so much, and when Thor told her to look, she could not help but look at her, first, before she turned her gaze out to the sunset. It was beautiful, but…

“I would much prefer to look at you.” She turned her head back to Thor, and offered a weak smile. Her troubled expression softening as her glassy eyes filled with warmth. A warmth that… only ever lit for Thor, those days. And she listened in silence as her partner spoke again - eager to accept the idea of not speaking of war or politics inside Thor’s apartment. Eager to just hold her, and leave everything else behind. To entertain the idea, once more, that they could marry. That they could run off and it could just be the two of them, and–

Do not abandon me.

Thor sighed as she pushed open the door to her apartment in Old Archades. Her day at the Congress of Worlds had been one of the longest ones in recent memory, and it dragged on and on. She counted the hours, wondering why exactly they needed to spend so long discussing such important legislation when it was clear no one’s heart or mind was really in it.

Luckily for Thor, the meeting was adjourned an hour early. She’d packed her things and made her way home — well, as much of a home as this little apartment on Archadia could ever be to her. Thor was lost in thought, and as she slipped off her cloak and heels, she failed to realize Gylfie was waiting for her at the door. When she finally turned around, she grinned like the Cheshire Cat.

“Gylfie!” She hadn’t expected her girlfriend — were they more than that? Thor wanted to be, but she also didn’t want to jeopardize either of their positions in society and politics — to be waiting for her. After the day she had, this was exactly what she needed. She giggled a bit, and her tiredness seemed to vanish almost instantly as she pulled Gylfie into a kiss. “I wasn’t supposed to be home for another hour or so, but they let us go early! I think everyone’s exhaustion was apparent. This war has been taking its toll on all of us.”

Thor smiled, content to stay in Gylfie’s arms for a few moments. Part of her wondered if something was wrong, especially because they didn’t have as much time to see each other lately, but it was very possible it was just a nice surprise.

“I really needed this. Thank you.” She kissed her on the cheek. “When was the last time you ate? Is everything alright with you?”

—

The invasion of Nalbina had been a successful win for Archadia. The fortress had fallen, House Nabradia now completely fallen with the death of Lord Rasler, and Dalmasca forced to heel. Now, all they needed to do was wait for negotiations to finish, and for King Raminas to sign the treaty. The war would be over - for now - and Archadia would be ever closer to seizing Rozarria.

Yet... Gylfie struggled to find a sense of pride in it all. She had fought in Nalbina alongside Drace, and had earned the few days off graciously approved of and given to her, but she simply felt... exhausted. Her very soul felt weary, her mind heavy, and her heart even heavier. It was not that she regretted her actions or her involvement, but... More and more, she was seeing the truth of her Empire. Of her bloodthirsty nature and rabid ways, and more and more, did she begin to feel disgust upon realizing she was no better than the Empire that raised her. She could hope for a better future - fight to keep the little Lord Larsa safe - and hope that he would one day become Emperor in his father’s stead instead of Vayne, but... would it be enough? Would it ever be enough?

There was no room for doubt, in herself or her Empire, and Gylfie did her best to shove it from her mind - especially since she had let herself into Thor’s apartment to surprise her. She knew when her partner would return home, and had gone about prepping dinner, knowing it would be ready by the time Thor returned. Her body still ached from battle, but cooking was a pleasant distraction, especially when she was able to cook for those she loved, and those she knew would not take the chance to belittle her efforts. And, regardless of her waning strength, the idea of surprising Thor with her favorite meal was something Gylfie was not going to pass up on. She wanted to make her day a little brighter, as she knew all too well the frustration and exhaustion that came from politics.

However, she had not expected Thor to come home so early.

Gylfie quickly did her best to tidy up the kitchen a bit more, knowing nothing could be done to speed up the cooking itself, and made her way for the door. Her heart already beginning to feel lighter, and her expression already brightening before Thor even had a chance to step inside. She waited patiently by the door, eyes shining with warmth and amusement, and remained quiet as Thor removed her coat and heels. And the moment her partner saw her--

A wide grin of her own appeared on Gylfie’s face in response to Thor’s, and with a soft laugh, she allowed herself to be pulled against Thor - returning her kiss just as tenderly. “I wish I had known sooner so you wouldn’t have to wait for dinner,” she teased, and kissed her again. “But ‘tis so good to see you, my love. Perhaps I ought to thank them for your early release.” However, hearing Thor mention the exhaustion of them all and the toll the war was taking... was almost enough to make her smile falter. It was of no surprise, but she couldn’t help but feel... guilty.

But she shoved it aside just as quickly, and kept her arms wrapped around Thor as she held her close. Closing her eyes as she rested her head against hers and breathed her in. Content to just let it be them. To forget about everything else, even if only for a few, precious moments. To forget about the war. To pretend they didn’t have to hide.

“Do you even care about the people you’re hurting? Do you even care about me? Gylfie… you’re scaring me. I don’t even know who you are anymore…”

{corruption au!}

----

“Thor...“

Hurt and confusion clouded Gylfie’s features, and she took a step closer to her - reaching out to take her hand in hers. “Of course I care about you, my love,” she whispered with her brow furrowed tight. “I... I do not understand where this coming from. Scaring you is the last thing I ever want to do, my dear.”

Thor softly gasped as Gylfie touched her, a smile gracing her lips. She took a small step backwards to make sure they were covered by one of the many pillars in the palace’s architecture. When Gylfie kissed her on the forehead, she giggled like a schoolgirl. Around each other, there was no need to be queen and knight, and Thor was grateful for the genuine connection they’d found with each other.

“We must be more careful,” she scolded in a playful whisper. Thor’s tone was light-hearted, but her words had truth to them. “Someone is going to find us out, and then what? My father would never approve. I am certain the other Judge Magisters would take issue with it. Gylfie, I love you, truly I do. Would that I had no need to sneak around as we do, but… not everything can be as we wish it to be, especially in times like these.”

Thor knew that Gylfie had other duties aside from protecting her, and she understood why. Because of that, they weren’t able to be around each other as much. Still, she missed her lover greatly in the time they were away from each other. She had been busier as of late, too — Thor served as Asgard’s representative for the Congress of Worlds alongside Volstagg, and that was in addition to her preparation for queendom. Any time they got to be together meant everything to the goddess, and she leaned in for another kiss.

“Gods, I have missed you so! How has everything been on Midgard? Well, I should hope? I feel I have not seen you in eons.”

{them

——

continued from here

Oh, Gylfie was well aware of how delicate their courtship was, hinging on the requirement of secrecy. She would not have been so bold with her affections if she even had the inkling of the potential of being caught, but she knew, for now, they were safe. It was an opportunity she would gladly take, for sure knew it could not last, but… it was well worth it, however brief. Thor’s giggle alone was more than worth the risk.

“I know,” she said affectionately, her head still pressed against her lover’s. “Worry not. I would not do anything that would put you in jeopardy.” She reluctantly pulled away at that, though left a quick kiss to Thor’s temple before she parted from her. Her eyes still filled with a warm fondness even as her expression became more neutral once more. “I care little for what the other Judge Magisters say, my dear, as they talk enough of me as is. But I will not put you further at ends with your father, nor put you under scrutiny of the Judges.” No, she was far too careful to protect what she had. Careful to hide and nurture whatever good was in her life in private, out of fear of it being pulled from her grasp. Thor was no different, and she had vowed to protect her from any harm, after all. But...

“Perhaps one day.” It was a fool’s hope to believe they could have a chance to freely be together - to not have to hide and steal away tender moments like this. A hope Gylfie would have once dismissed. But... it was one that she wanted to have, even though she knew well the reality they faced. Even if it was a peace they could never have... “These moments are still enough for me,” she assured.

❛ i think things that i shouldn’t. i dream things that i shouldn’t. i want things that i shouldn’t and it’s all because of one thing; i love you. ❜

—

Gylfie couldn’t help but smile at that, as she leaned forward and said nothing. Her expression was soft, her smile warm, and her touch gentle as she took Thor’s hands within her own. And, still quiet, she pressed a tender kiss to her temple - her thumbs running against Thor’s skin as she let her lips linger against her head for a little longer, before she finally pulled away.