Nov 2, 2017
kinda really just wanna ahhhrt for a while and chill out. the world is still spinning and im still fumbling and nothing stops and youre either dying or growing and i know im the first but really hope im also the latter
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kinda really just wanna ahhhrt for a while and chill out. the world is still spinning and im still fumbling and nothing stops and youre either dying or growing and i know im the first but really hope im also the latter
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things are going very well right now, alhamdulillah - i have a job and lots of hours and a new career besides that is literally *everything* i want experience in (media, student orientations, nonprofits, travel companies), i have a car and more independence than ever and a good social life with amazing people and things are looking up, future-wise
but family drama and that constant adolescent tug of what kind of person should i be that i'm not being? and the crippling self-awareness/self-doubt/'why don't people love love love me? what am i doing wrong? why am i not inherently hilarious?' and the failure to control my eating and the feeling that i'm missing so much by just going to community college are all bringing me down and the feelings are like oil and water, gross and countering each other, and it sucks, and i wish i could just sit down and read something or not be on my computer or that my adhd meds would work