#thisrunninglife

My race season for the year ended with all the toughness that a Cameron Ultra Trail could hand me. I had already battled a string of less-than-ideal A races, none of which I managed to hit the goal I’d set. But at the end of each race, I cried it out, reflected, and just looked ahead to the next one.

Nagoya Marathon: No sub-5, but got a PB. Look forward to Eco Run HM.

Eco Run HM: No sub-215, no PB. Look forward to trails and Cameron.

Cameron 30k: DNF, but what do I look forward to now?

This is why I’m still processing and trying to get over the disappointment of this race. I realise that one of my coping mechanisms has been to just look ahead to the next race. Without the next race, I know I’d lose motivation, wallow in self pity, emotionally binge est, and let myself slip into the downward rabbit hole spiral. I remember feeling dangerously close to this after Gold Coast last year and I wanted to stretch my recovery from two weeks to three weeks to a month. But then GE pacing came along and that was what got me out of the emotional rut - especially knowing I would not be doing it for myself.

I’m counting on London to help; it’s the city where I first fell in love with running. Until then, I just have to hang in there. Take a break from constantly running. Be ok with doing other fitness stuff with Lucy and the ETL Fitfam. Make the most of my remaining time to enjoy running with my running family, many of whom had sent me so much love and encouragement. And yes, eventually go back and hit the trails.

“Never failing may be good but tasting 'failure’ is what pushes you to go even higher." 

I made it to 17km. I made it to the highest peak in the course, 1825m. I didn’t get lost or injured. And surprise, I didn’t end up hating trail.

Within the past month:

run—r

cycleflaneur

henrykayaker

standardmoves

thisrunninglife

mainstmountaineer

x-c-runner

thewolpertinger