How had I forgotten?

That your words brought more

than laugh lines and loyalty

maybe that’s why I still dream of you

Maybe I had prayed

Was I praying wrong, God?

Ignoring the court of constellations

screaming in my head

you wanted this more than anything

Maybe I tried

Didn’t we both try?

After the sleepless 2am fights 

and the golden promise you spat

I  will leave this time

Maybe I’m realizing

Yes, I’m realizing

You weren’t supposed to be the one

to tuck my hair behind my ear

Or brew us coffee while the sun still slept

You showed me I’m better off doing this alone