#thisissuchafuckingfirstworldproblem

uniuniuniuniuniuniuniuniuniuniuniuniuniuniuniuniuniuniuniuniuniuniuniuniuniuni   so many hours deliberating and choosing and studying and stressing and thinking and crying and now; two offers. how the fuck did i get two. i take my first and i feel I'm choosing the safe option, the easy safety blanket where i know places and people and face a majority. i take my second, a complete leap into the dark. unknown city, people, system. different currency, different creed, different structure. but maybe, just maybe, thats what i need? or maybe not. am i big enough and brave enough and foolish enough to just motherfucking do it? i can see myself in both positions. happy in both. but maybe happier in the latter, or am i romanticising. my grades weren't good enough. id resigned myself to a safe option. am i flattered? do i need to prove myself a rebel so much? am i trying to rebel against something that isn't restricting, choosing what i think i want rather than what i actually do. perhaps even settling for what will do? i'm trying to follow my heart and listen to my head. they're both shouting.