#thisis40

Leslie Mann Confronts Hilariously Weird Employee Over Money Theft 😂 

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I’ve just turned 40. In those four decades, I’ve lived and worked in five countries, moved home around 20 or so times, and done jobs in more than 24 different kinds of places from the age of 15.

Those kinds of numbers aren’t that unusual, particularly for Elder Millennials like me who found their opportunities and trajectories accelerated by the Internet. We are the cohort who remembers the agonising wait and drop of landline dial up Internet whilst we were studying in High School, but have every reasonable expectation today that we can do the entirety of our knowledge economy jobs wherever and however we want with a seamless wifi connection. We had the chance to make fools of ourselves learning how to be someone before people could take photos and videos and tag us on social media, but bathe in the benefits of technology that makes holding down a job, running a household and growing a family easier than any generation before us.

Anyway, because absolutely no one asked for it and despite many greats having done this far better than I ever could, here are 40 things I have learned in that time:

Nora Ephron was right, you’ll regret not having worn a bikini for the entire year you were 26.

Remember to send that thank you note: for Christmas presents, for party invitations, for job interviews, for the bouquet of flowers your friend sent you when the Very Hard Thing Happened.

Anyone can rustle up a please or thank you, but showing up on time is the most effective way to show respect.

You’ll never regret traveling. Even the worst adventures are worth their weight in anecdotes.

Not everything can be reached through relentless pursuit; sometimes you need to sit still awhile and wait for it to come to you.

Your gut is as complex as your brain. Listen when it tells you things.

Whatever they taught you in school about reproductive health is so lacking in substance that one day, decades later, you will find yourself in a doctor’s office whilst they show you a laminated diagram to explain how ovaries work.

Even then, you will learn something new and overwhelming about your body every time you see a medic.

The things you tell yourself in your twenties that you cannot possibly do are almost certainly the things you will face in your thirties.

You will hurt the people you care about. It’s the price you pay for loving and being loved in return.

Not everyone will like you.

You’ll get things horribly wrong and disappoint people who thought you could do better. You will probably do this more times than you’d like to remember. Some of these moments will still make you burn with shame at night when you can’t sleep, many years later.

It’s never too late to repair the rupture.

Nothing is ever equal in a relationship, but it should always feel fair.

Don’t save nice things for a special occasion. Wear the shoes, use the plates, burn the candles. Life’s too short.

Find a way to talk about money with your partner, even if it makes you want to peel your own skin off.

Do something properly or don’t do it at all. People will know if your heart’s not in it.

We all turn into our parents eventually. But you get to choose which parts you take, and which you leave behind.

There’s no job worth doing just because it pays well or looks good on paper if it makes you cry every morning on the way to the train.

Be prepared to revisit whatever timeline you’ve set yourself. Again. And again. And again.

At some point, the place you call home will stop giving you everything you need and it will be time to leave. Sometimes you’ll see it coming down the road and sometimes you’ll wake up in the middle of the night with the realisation. This is how it goes.

Remember to wear sunscreen.

If you’re lucky, someone will give you feedback so critical you feel like your skin might blister. It’ll confirm every worst thought you’ve had about yourself, but in time it will act like an inoculation against future harm.

As a woman in leadership at work, you can be good at your job or you can be liked. Entrenched sexism and numerous studies show that you can’t be both.

Just because someone said it, doesn’t make it true.

Having a child is like watching your heart leave your body and walk around on the outside. You will never recover.

There will be times when you experience loss and grief so gutting that your insides will feel bruised. And yet you still don’t know the half of what’s to come.

Words matter.

Early on in your life you will make choices that are different by only a matter of one or two degrees to those of your friends. But as time goes on, and you continue to walk your respective paths, you will find your realities have moved continents apart. Send a postcard every now and then.

Some of your closest friends, with the nearest of realities, will live on literal other continents from you. Those friendships will endure, even when you only see each other every few years.

Try not to go to sleep on an argument.

Cut flowers are extravagant, wasteful, and unsustainable but you will continue to buy them by the armful because they bring you so much joy.

Some things will make you shudder at the thought.

You will do them anyway.

Just get in the goddam photo.

Don’t say things about yourself that you wouldn’t say to someone else.

A well timed joke will always make it feel better.

There are very few hard and sad things in life that are beyond the immediate salve of popping on the kettle and making a cup of tea. Always knowing that you can do this first gives you time to work out what to do next.

Education is a constant and lifelong journey. So is love.