#thisbrutalbelleedit

isa was off script but bella had it before her, flipping through page after page. “i think i just want to know if it’s meant to be funny or not. is he big? is this like a three little pigs thing but in reverse because you kill him in the end...?” bella rolled off as she flipped through pages trying to find what she meant, not quite of the sort of mind who could understand the hidden meanings of such things, the fifties aesthetic, the food comparisons that kept coming up. when she looked up from the script her response had removed the smile from isa’s face. “of course i am jealous, bomboncita, princess,” she insisted, wanting her smile to return. “you’re so gifted, i fall into every word you say, even in that southern drawl.” isa’s smile returned once more, “we can keep running lines?” she asked, and bella nodded, flicking back to where they were.

“two or i’ll never get it back i guess?” bella asked as isa’s legs rested among the blanket’s on her bed. isa could feel bellamy’s eyes moving from her to everywhere but. always returning to her though, how could they not? she was beautiful, bella saw it and did everything she could to make isa feel even more so. isa could tell it meant more than that to bellamy though, not just about making isa feel beautiful but feel comfortable and supported. “you’ll get it back when it smells like me,” isa responded, pulling the gum back into her mouth, wriggling deeper into the bed. “just like your sheets.”

And then the first wave of excitement subsided and came all the questions and confusions and differences between how I lived until then and how I had to live from that point forward. I didn’t know what to do, where to go, how to live. {x}

They called it shell shock back then, but I was never the same after the war. The country branded us all heroes…we felt more like monsters. And when I tried to bring up these feelings I was having to my superiors to try to get any sort of help, I was just told to ‘get over it’ or ‘man up’. All it did was make me feel weak and broken. And it guaranteed that when there were people that wanted me to talk about it, I wouldn’t. {x}

in the small room of pondicherry they sat, bella admiring herself in a small vanity of the lush bathroom as teddy watched her make small touch ups to her face. checking the wing at her eyes, that her earrings hung well. she liked his business as opposed to his work, more familiar to speak there. easier to speak as mentor and student.

cassie germaine & lilo lopez...happy valentine’s day!

He knew the truth but it did make him smile, even if it was a tease. {x}

How do you feel right now? What could make you feel better than you do? {x}