#this is sick.

Sometimes, it even takes a miracle to prevent the killing of someone, like with Yona and Zeno. But then you know, I remember when Zeno tells Yona that their words won't reach the gods and it's over and Yona has to kill them (and him). And then I remember when Il said about Suwon that he just "can't" with him. And I remember when Judo explains that of all Suwon's life there was a chasm between him and Il. It won't reach, they all say.

And then I also remember the beginning of the story when Yona entered Il's room to tell him that she can't forget Suwon but arrived a few seconds too late. It's hard to imagine what this could have changed if she did talk with her father(besides the outcome of Suwon marrying Yona which would have been terrible for different reasons). But I wonder, if Il could have just tried to believe in the Suwon that Yona and Hak so deeply cared for and admired. If it would have reached Il, eventually. Maybe that would have been too late by that time, but we will never know because Suwon didn't and couldn't believe something like this would ever reach and change things.

It also always reminds me of the Xing arc when Suwon couldn't believe there was any way he could find a compromise with Kouren because of her hatred for Yuhon. It's in a way very reminiscent of what it was between Suwon and Il, with Yuhon's ghost in the middle. But then Yona told Suwon she believes in both Kouren and Suwon's sincere feelings for their people, and Kouren and Suwon met, and it turns out they have things in common and can even make each other laugh and smile!, it doesn't erase Kouka's crimes in Xing, but the conference happened and compromise was found. (Even if the cost to reach such compromise was the highest for Xing which can have some Implications honestly but that's another can of worms)

I wonder if Yona entering the chalice to speak with the gods and make them understand for the dragon warriors' situation, for Zeno, that she can't forget them and wants their happiness is supposed to be a parallel to her arriving too late in Il's room. To show how hard it is when she gets the chance to try, how it feels pointless and foolish and naive. Yet, it always reaches eventually.

Yona wanted to tell her father she can't forget about Suwon, and Yona and Hak and the dragon warriors want to tell Zeno and the gods they can't forget about each other. Both the gods and Il prioritized Yona and Hiryuu over people they had no consideration for but that Yona wanted to defend to them.

(The only difference is that Il wasn't a Hak hater like the gods, but given all the already existing parallels between Suwon and Zeno in this final arc, I find it interesting to point it out.)

("kare wa dame da" about suwon vs "are wa dame da" about zeno... yeah)

This process of arguing and defending each other again and again accumulates until at long last, they remember their heart's true destination.

Like it reached Suwon in chapter 221. Like Yonhi's feelings reached in the final chapter. Like it reached the gods at the very end. Even like Raan's feelings reached Chagol before his last breath. It always reaches.

And it's interesting, because to me the character that permitted to convey this and make Yona and Hak feel this way the most is Suwon. I don't think the hardest thing for them was to believe in Suwon, but that they couldn't help but believe in him even in their grief. Of course, the grief and resentment made it difficult and a long journey for them to accept it, and they felt safe believing again only because each other and the hhb were here.

But I believe they could learn to believe that people are more than their worst moments because the Suwon of the past and how he still shined through in the present meant so much to them. Because they just couldn't believe it was all a lie. Because they couldn't help but believe in his abilities. It wasn't linear and it still asked them efforts, but the hardest for them was actually to let go (the hairpin) and face that the Suwon they believe in is a part of the Suwon that hurt them, and that one doesn't erase the other. I think this is what even more so made them see and believe in the humanity of the people they met on their path.

Suwon observed Il for 10 years and still couldn't believe in him. Maybe this was tainted by his resentment of course, and it happens that all the actual "good" things Il did as a King were in opposition to Yuhon's ways and Suwon's grander scheme, so it is what it is. But maybe the most positive way of reading Suwon say that his judgement that night was wrong is seeing it as Suwon finally able to believe. To believe in people's hearts and in better ways, in the ability to change, in happy dreams.

The one who had the hardest time to believe was Suwon. And it's so bittersweet because isn't it all about making Suwon believe his own feelings count too?

Suwon even after the coup has shown kindness and trust towards Yona and Hak several times, but I don't think he believed it mattered in the grand scheme of things and that it would change any of their fate. But I actually believe it's all because of these little things like Suwon hiding Yona in Awa, Suwon shielding Yona and trusting Hak in the water tribe arc, trusting Hak with the sei forts and connecting with him when saving Lili etc etc that Yona and Hak could believe in him and come to terms with the fact their Suwon wasn't fake. All these little things counted. And when Suwon can embrace his feelings in the final arc, Yona can finally tell him that his kindness counts to her.

And sure, at first Yona and Hak only felt more upset when Suwon still showed them kindness and trust, but it reached them too at some point. And so they could reply in kind by extending kindness and trust to him in return. His feelings for them always mattered.

Maybe the story doesn't make a great job at demonstrating that and that's why I always wished for them to reference anything that happened between main trio since the coup, but at the same time it's all right here honestly. If you read and care. Like yeah ok I guess if you don't care about these things as much as I do it only looks like Suwon risked his life for them because they helped him and they were such saints for it that Suwon made a 180 and had his "redemption arc", but that's only if you act as if the story started at chapter 200 to me lol. Because Suwon could never help himself but being kind to them really. By the point he actually treats them harshly by the castle/south Kai arc when they get too close, sure, I think it really hurts and affects Yona, but she still supports him, at the same time because Kouka needs it and she can not make it about her personal feelings, and because she knows Suwon beyond that, imo.

Like, Suwon talked about how Yona and Hak appearing on his path is what made him reflect, but it was the same for them. Suwon appearing on their path also made them reflect many times. I wish they would say it too, but then I'm also like...the manga kinda showed us their self-reflection as it happened, it's just that Suwon's are reported most of the time. (Although it could be argued that it stopped by the castle arc for Yona and Hak too, yeah :')). But maybe it's amazing in its own right that only knowing how much these main trio scenes from the first half of the series mean to the community, sensei and to me is enough for me to believe that it really counts that much.

Saying Suwon was wrong doesn't mean Il was right. It means he was wrong in his judgement of Suwon too and should have believed in Suwon's heart and feelings as well. If Yona and Hak didn't believe that, they wouldn't have supported Suwon so much as a King despite how he rejected them and hurt them.

I just can't stop thinking about Suwon in chapter 216 thinking that him trying to be kind to Yona only "pushed her" to emotional distress. About how in chapter 222 he wants to comfort Yona but stops himself because he thinks nothing he will say will help her, and how it should be Hak instead. And then I obviously remember Il telling him he's upsetting when he was a toddler and Suwon then believing that maybe Yona felt the same.

But it all counted. It counts. Suwon didn't believe his feelings could matter to others, especially not to Yona. Il was wrong : Suwon's kindness isn't upsetting. It reached. That's why even when he upsets Yona and Hak, they still would challenge heavens and death itself for him. And that's why I like that Hak didn't join Suwon and Yona's conversation too, because otherwise I don't think Suwon would ever understand that there are things only him can tell and do for Yona that will mean something special to her.

Through changing more and more until reaching him and recognizing Suwon's goodness, Yona and Hak taught Suwon change was possible, that they believe in him and his ability to change and to become an even better version of himself and that they will embrace all of it. That it's the three of them or nothing on the path ahead no matter what hardships await them. And if Suwon happens to share the same dream, he only has to allow himself to believe and act for it now.