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if i didn't know any better i'd think my PI wants to mentally and psychologically break me for some reason but the funny part is that i am simply too weak to do this job
like
i am the problem! and i don't know how to fix myself realistically because "just do better" didn't work. i was trying and trying and trying for like 15 years and never got any better so. idk. "you have to decide to get better".
and up until 2022 i genuinely believed that if i just clenched my teeth for a bit longer there would be some kind of pay off for all my effort and sacrifice, my endless work etc etc. but then the slow realization started creeping in!! i am literally doomed! 😃👍 realistically, things will only get worse!
idk. i just haven't been outside, showered, or ate properly since friday so i am also a little bit dramatic but monday starts in 10 minutes so all i can do is stfu and work work work work work work work work work
