#this is back

Rick: I have a hobby!

➥ chapter six — dumb at love

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fun facts:

— the pink wallpaper belongs to y/n

— Kuroo was with y/n when he muttered: dumb at love

— he also saw Kenma’s follower request 🤭

Mac Fights Gay Marriage: Mac is so dependent on Dennis that he’ll use his gym card and pretend to be Dennis so he can work out. Nothing says romance like pretending to be the person you’ve been in love with for years, right? Mac’s frenzy against gay marriage causes Dennis to have a breakdown and he marries his high school girlfriend out of nowhere and for no proper reason whatsoever. Dennis puts his arm around Mac when he kicks him out the apartment. We find out that Dennis has been illegally housing Mac for years, and everything in their apartment belongs to Dennis. Mac steals shirts that Dennis throws away and wears them after cutting the sleeves off. 7/10

Dennis Gets Divorced: Have you ever been so gay that you can’t even get married to a woman for a week and avoid bringing your boy toy (Maureen’s words, not mine) home to dance and get drunk with because you just miss him so much? Have you ever been so gay that you spend all your emotional energy (for dating) on one man for over a decade of living together, never genuinely loving a woman in a romantic sense ever in your life? 8.5/10

The Gang Buys a Boat: Mac and Dennis buy a boat. Which they get Charlie to chip in for. They spend the whole episode basically being a whiny gay boat couple being whiny and gay over expensive boat stuff and basically having a shared income (from all the dick towel money, which is weirdly THEIR money and not the gang’s... not JUST Mac’s, who came up with the dick towel but THEIR money. sounds gay). Mac pushing the wheelbarrow of boat stuff he and Dennis bought and Dennis not even helping to hold one thing is cold hard evidence that Mac tops him. Dennis assuring Mac and calming him down over being pissed about being patronized is peak domestic... Dennis nagging at Mac about how Mac should know what CDs he owns so they don’t buy the same CDs twice and the importance of Being On The Same Page is very gay and even MORE domestic. When Mac and Dennis go to the boat party the way they’re dressed is eerily similar to how they dressed when they were “pretending” to be a gay couple. 9/10

Mac’s Big Break: Mac holds Dennis’ shoulder when he says a prayer for luck. 4/10

Mac and Charlie: White Trash: Mac gets so offended that Dennis thinks he’s of a higher class despite living in the same apartment for years and years—to the point where he either doesn’t want to let Dennis into his and Charlie’s pool or make Dennis serve them. Sounds kinky. 3/10

Mac’s Mom Burns Her House Down: Mac and Dennis start this episode sitting next to each other, super close for no reason even though there’s no reason for them to, and obsess over Charles Grodin together. 7/10

Who Got Dee Pregnant?: Dennis is super impressed and obsessed with Mac’s new term ‘browning out’ and he gets MAD (“Wh a t?”) when Artemis accuses Mac of sleeping with Dee despite not giving two shits when he thought Charlie slept with Dee. Dennis also got pissed when Mac didn’t wear matching outfits with him on Halloween so they could be Mario and Luigi. 8/10

The Gang Gets a New Member: Mac and Dennis try to get Schmitty back in their gang in a very homoerotic way, kicking Charlie out altogether. Dennis apparently orders the food for everyone when they go out to eat together, which Mac justifies by saying “Dennis has the best palate”, and he actually? Believes and supports Dennis choosing his food for him despite hating the food Dennis picks for him? Imagine being that in love? Also, when Schmitty pisses Mac off all he has to do is give Dennis one Look and boom, he’s out the gang. Bonus point for their gay little sways along to Schmitty’s initiation music as well as every time Mac had to talk on behalf of him because Dennis got too emotional for words, plus all the gay bickering. 8.5/10

Dee Reynolds: Shaping America’s Future: Mac and Dennis make a movie together, and argue over whether blackface or “black voice” is more racist. They are both wrong and right (about the other being wrong) at the same time, but the important thing to note (if we ignore all the bad, very bad decisions made) is that Mac and Dennis made a rlly gay movie which they watched and jerked each other off by complimenting each other on their performances (and secretly shitting on Charlie’s). 8/10

Charlie Kelly: King of the Rats: Mac and Dennis sit next to each other a lot and work to make the day special for Charlie in an effort not to be cynical. And then in the midst of all this, Mac got Dennis a gift. Also, Dennis reveals that when Mac secretly sneaked off, he followed Mac, suggesting that he probably follows Mac when he sneaks off a lot. Codependent much :/ 8.5/10

The Gang Gets Stranded In The Woods: Dennis sends pictures of him hanging out with Chase Utley, arm around his shoulder, because he wanted to make Mac jealous. 5/10

Dee Gives Birth: Dennis and Mac sit together in the beginning, as they are wont to do. Mac and Dennis almost become parents (along with Charlie). 4/10

Exhibit P:

6’2, slightly crazy, climber or martial arts, with some weird specific job that he’s amazing at. High key biker Bucky energy.

And I bring him to my friends house and they’re all like ‘lol he’s perfect for you’.

I want to be that couple who’s passionate with eachother, chill where we need to be, communicate, go camping and he’s so warm that we don’t need a radiator. I want him to have to push the seat in my car all the way back to make room for his long legs.

I want to see a spark in his eyes when he looks at me. I want him to be unfazed by me, as I am by him.

I mean the next one may not be this but I just want to be there to witness my friend Alex being like ‘lol he’s definitely for you’ or my friend Zoe being haha lol he’s obsessed with you, just like that energy where I finally get another long term relationship and all my friends are like lol he was worth waiting for.