#this dramatic shit

Her door was still shut. I stopped at the bottom of the staircase and looked up for a long moment before dropping my bag and starting up. I could hear her shuffling around in her studio and stopped a few steps away. 

“Looch?” 

The noise stopped for a second and I saw the door handle move once, stopping with a moment of hesitation before opening up. She looked at me with wide eyes and flushed cheeks, hair braided haphazardly and hanging down over her left shoulder. I took a second to just look at her before forcing a smile. 

“How’s it going?” 

“Good.” 

“Good. What are you up to?” 

“Work.” 

“Are you ever gonna talk to me again?” 

The one word answers were killing me and I tightened my grip on the railing I was holding on to, sighing long and low before taking another step. She rested her hip against the door and looked down at me. 

“Elias-” 

“Because I miss you.” 

I kept my eyes on hers until she turned, leaving the door open as she slipped back inside. I took it as an invitation and followed suit, dropping onto the couch and leaning onto my elbows. I watched her at her desk as she saved her work, switching between screens for a minute before she spoke. 

“Do you believe in signs?” She didn’t turn to look at me so I didn’t answer. “Like, divine intervention?” 

“What do you mean?” 

“I went into college as a law major. Registered for all my classes, met with all my advisers, thought I knew exactly what I was doing. I’d gotten into the program but I had one more exam to take before I could sign up for orientation. I was sweating this test like you wouldn’t believe, studied night and day an entire month leading up to it. I skipped graduation parties and the senior cruise, all because this test was so damn important to me. And I was miserable.”

Her shoulders tensed for a moment and I could see her reflection in one of her monitors, eyes far off as she stilled. 

“When the day of the test came, we had a power outage in the middle of the night. My alarm never went off. By the time I woke up, it was too late.” She spun around to look at me and smiled gently. “Everyone had finished and the hall was clearing out.” 

“What did you do?” 

“I took a seat in the front row, right in the middle, and I just sat. Just kept my hands in my lap and sat there, wallowing in what I thought was the biggest fuck up of my life.” She let out a breathy laugh and shook her head. “And then Professor Cameron walked in to set up for another meeting. He introduced himself and invited me to stay for the session. And he was my adviser for the four years I was in Boston. He got me my first job, continues to send work my way... What I thought was the biggest mistake of my life turned into the best thing that’s ever happened to me. And it probably saved me a lot of heartache.” 

She seemed to sink in her chair at the word heartache and I put two and two together. 

“So you think that Johnny walking in when you and I were... you think that was a sign?” She nodded and stood, taking the seat next to me and tucking her legs under her. “A sign that we should or that we shouldn’t?” 

The way her face fell put a pit in my stomach and I suddenly wished I hadn’t come up. Not knowing how she felt seemed so much better than finding out she wasn’t on the same page as I was. 

“I’m sorry Elias, I just-” 

“No, no apologies. Please Lucia, don’t apologize.” 

“Do you understand where I’m coming from?” 

“Of course.” I stood and started towards the door, stopping with my hand on the knob. “I get it.” 

“I just... I don’t think it’s meant to be.” 

I stopped short and turned to her, the words coming faster than I could manage. 

“Can I say something?” 

“Sure.” 

“I think you’re looking for a sign. And I think it’s bullshit.” 

“Excuse me?” 

“I’m sorry, I get where you’re coming from, especially with the whole law school thing, that  seems like a sign you could sink your teeth into. But Johnny coming back to the hotel was chance, nothing more.” 

Her cheeks reddened as she scoffed but I couldn’t stop myself. 

“We’ve had these incredible conversations a-and I don’t know what to do because anytime we get close to anything more, you leave. If you don’t want this, you can tell me, I’d rather you be honest so we can go back to normal, but Looch, until you do... I like you. I like talking to you and I want to be with you. If that’s not enough of a sign for you then I don’t know what you want.” 

I turned on a heel and left her studio, bounding down the stairs and slipping into my room. There was a loud knock on my door as soon as I shut it and I flung it open to find Lucia on the other side, brow furrowed and chest heaving. 

“Are you fucking kidding me? You can’t just say shit like that and leave, who are you? Fallon Carrington?” 

“Who?” 

She pushed past me and started pacing my room, gesturing wildly as she spoke. 

“You don’t know me, Elias! You and I have lived together for what, three months? That’s nothing!” 

I dropped onto the bed and just watched her as she yelled, going on and on about how out of line I was. 

“And maybe I don’t want to tell you I don’t want this! Have you ever thought of that? I’m not used to this.” She nodded to me and my stomach flipped as she took a step closer. 

“What are you saying, Lucia?” 

I took her hand in mine and pulled her a bit closer, looking up at her flushed cheeks. She took a deep breath and avoided my eyes, pinching the bridge of her nose for a minute. 

“You scare me.” 

“Why?” 

“I don’t know.” 

“Yes you do.” 

She stamped her foot as I stood, letting me brush a strand of hair back from her face and pull her chin up until her gaze leveled with mine. 

“C’mon Lucia. Tell me you want me or tell me you don’t. Just don’t lie to me.” 

“I...” she didn’t finish, instead wrapping a hand around the back of my neck and pulling me down to kiss her. It was euphoric, such a stark contrast from the lazy drunken moment we’d shared a few weeks prior. I grabbed at her waist and she seemed to melt into me with a contented sigh. 

She pulled back with a sharp breath and kept her eyes closed, her free hand bunching my shirt up in a tight fist. I could feel the warmth of her body through her this clothing and the fact that she was so close, pressed against me so beautifully, hit me like a ton of bricks.