#thinkingofyouagain

#thinkingofyouagain#nonfiction#doodler

Most of the time, it's not hard for me to just move on and be ok with how everything turned out. But this time, It feels as if it's killing me. This is honestly the first time I've felt like this. I try so hard to tell myself everyday that you're gone and you won't be coming back. I mean, who would want to stay and deal with me? I sure wouldn't. To be honest, I can see why you left, but I just don't fully understand it yet. You did it out of nowhere, and I didn't even have time to tell you how I really felt. So I guess now, you'll fill up my tumblr. I guess I'm just going to continue to write these silly little posts about you, that you'll never see, just because it's the only way I feel as if you're still with me in a way. Maybe not in real life, but in these posts, you're still here. You will be until the end of time. I still don't understand everything, and there is so much I still want to say to you, but I won't. Because you have completely blocked me out, and I am still trying to break down the barriers you have built up to keep me out. I'm not going to be ok anytime soon, but I'm sure one day I will be. I was just really hoping you would at least help me through this rough time. I can see now, I was but a chapter to you and you were my favorite novel. I would read you for a lifetime, and you would always skip my chapter. I find that to be the hardest on me right now. No matter what I do or say, you will never give me an actual response. I guess I'm the only one who cares, but maybe I'm not. Maybe you just keep it to yourself. You were always so strong. As you can see, I am not that strong. I don't believe I ever will be. I'm just trying to be ok though, because I know right now that's the only thing I can do..