#thezebitches

Alright. Let’s talk magic. Witchcraft. Voodoo. Tomfoolery. Or Black Magic Mascara to be exact. I got this mascara not that long ago in a subscription box. Don’t ask me which, because I subscribe to more services monthly than is honestly necessary. Pretty sure I pay more for shit to be sent to me than I do on my utility bills. Whatever.

You can buy this stuff online or in stores like Ulta, Saks, etc and the average price I’m seeing is around $24-$25 for an 8ml tube. The sample I am trying is 4ml, and it’s a pretty good size. It’s an odd tube, to be honest. It’s squishy. I keep thinking I am going to squeeze product out like a lip gloss or something. I’m not entirely sold on the package, because I feel like if something was to stab it forcefully in the depths of my makeup bag it would explode and Magic would be everywhere it wasn’t supposed to be.

The stuff is easy to apply. The package boasts “For after hours seduction our unique brush creates drama, volume and curl combined with an extreme Carbon Black water resistant finish”. Well I don’t know about all that noise. Let’s be real- the only claim that has held up any water is the carbon black. This shit is, in fact, black. However the drama, volume and curl has Criss Angel'ed itself out of the building. After curling with an eyelash curler, it held nicely for about 2 hours. It fell flat. I liked how it made them feathery, but to really get drama I tried 3 coats. Three. Three motherfucking coats and expected some Houdini shit. Black Magic, my ass. The other plus is that it didn’t flake off but honestly, the black isn’t black enough for me to keep using this at $25 a pop. I’ll go pick up some Better than Sex mascara for less money and be twice as happy. That unique brush? It’s a standard kidney bean shape I’ve seen in many mascaras- no distinctive features to really make that stand out. Removal was easy- came off with my makeup wipes. So much for water resistant.

It does claim to be enriched with keratin and shea butter for long term lash care. That’s nice but doesn’t help me look amaze balls NOW. Will I purchase this? Probably not.

Emoji rating today?? 🔮 Crystal balls. It’s somewhat magicky.

Out of 5 🔮:

Alright. The name of this is a mouthful- Physicians Formula Argan Wear Ultra Nourishing Argan Oil Kohl Kajal Eyeliner. Seriously. Look on the website. I’m not making this stuff up. 11 words to name an eyeliner- that must mean this stuff is the shit, right??

I bought this on a whim, actually. I was in CVS killing time for my scripts to be filled, and I walked past the display of PF. Now, I’ve tried a few things in the past and have been moderately impressed, but as a self proclaimed Sephora junkie, it’s been awhile since I tried anything drugstore. (I’m not even kidding with the Sephora part. I’ve spent so much money there I’ve secured my VIB spot through 2017 and my SO is about ready to send me to Sephora Rehab.)

Now, the CVS price point was $16 and some change. However upon looking at the website for ingredient info I noticed that online it’s $9.99. Way to go, CVS.

Packaging was cute. The tassel on the cap is pointless, but cute as hell. I’ll admit to spending a solid minute in my car swirling it about. There isn’t a lot of product though for the size of the tube. You get 0.09oz for the money you just spent. It also only comes in one color- Ultra Black. But it’s a kohl liner, so what did you expect??

The one thing I like about the brand is that it’s gluten free, fragrance free, hypoallergenic, cruelty free, paraben free, dermatologist approved and apparently safe for sensitive eyes and contact wearers. I don’t wear contacts, so I’m assuming they aren’t lying here. There are other ingredients listed online, so check them out if you’re so inclined. This product also got some news mentions in various fashion articles. La-dee-dah.

Okay, the meat of this review. I used it mostly as instructed- to line your eyes AND use as an inner rim (waterline) liner. I already had liner on (different brand) but I did use on my upper and lower waterline.

It glides on smoothly, which if you’re applying at the waterline that’s what you’d hope for. Nothing worse than a rough wood pencil to the sensitive eye. I’m tearing up thinking about it. As far as wear, it did pretty good. It stayed on for a solid 5-6 hours without me needed a serious touch up. I will say that the liner in the outer corners of my eye bled a bit and I needed to wipe that away. But I’ve never found a liner that stayed there so maybe that’s just faulty oculars on my part. The black was very black, which I loved. Nothing I hate more than an ashy liner. Especially when it doesn’t match my already lined upper lid. My eyes also never reacted badly to this, so that was a plus. Again I don’t wear contacts, but I’m assuming if something was wonky my eyes out of anyone’s eyes would have been the first to swell fucking shut.

As far as removal goes… Well. I did my usual facial routine in the shower using my Argan Oil face wash and it did not come right off. Instead, it smeared everywhere and my SO said I looked like a raccoon. I thought I looked like I met Rhonda Rousey in an alley. Needless to say, I needed two more washings and a face wipe after the shower to remove. What that says about the longevity I don’t know, but I’d suggest some strong ass face wash to get this bad boy off.

In every review we will be giving a 5/5 emoji rating. Today’s emoji will be 👀, since we are yapping about eyeliner and all.

Packaging: 👀 👀 👀 Longevity: 👀 👀 👀 👀 Color/Formula: 👀 👀 👀 👀 👀 Removal: 👀 👀 👀 Overall: 👀 👀 👀 👀.5

By George, I think I got it.

Good grief. After several “help” texts and some creative clicking of random buttons, I managed to set up our blog. What better way to kick it all off than with a “welcome” post, amirite?!

Who are we? We are childhood friends. Preschool days, to be exact. We’ve stayed friends this long for one reason, and one reason only- we tell it like it is. Okay, maybe that isn’t the only reason. But it’s the main one.

What is this blog about, you ask? We are here to review makeup. All makeup. High end, drugstore, even the Younique (shameless plug). We buy these products with our own hard earned doll-hairs and we will review it and tell you like it is. No fluff, no frills, and possibly some four letter words. Bottom line- you want the real story on the product you’re about to buy?? Read here.

Feel free to contact us at [email protected] for inquiries or if you want to see something specific.