What do you call it when I make a ton of posts but only type in the title line for a bolder and important effect? A title wave.
I know it was bad alright but I liked it. So today is 2016. Wow. I remember exactly what I was doing this time of year last year. I was screaming at my loved ones about not having an eating disorder and I was crying a lot. So I suppose this year was an improvement upon the last. I did something entirely new last night for my "celebration". An adult friend who I haven't seen in a while invited me to a burning bowl and drumming ceremony at her church. I brought Megan since she's friends with her too, and Ronnie, since her and Kim (the friend) are friends also. So we had a quick potluck (which I purged successfully because I am shit) and we wrote a list of all the things we wanted to leave in 2015. Then we ripped them all up, put them in a bowl, and set it on fire. We chanted and sang songs and it was really nice. We went into the church part of the building and all picked instruments. We did different chants to the beat of out instruments and it was really really cleansing. The one that stuck with me was "Om Namah Shivaya" which translates roughly to mean "I honor the divinity within myself". I loved it all. It was interesting... I think I may want to join that church. It's really different from what I've ever been in, but it all felt really right. Megan and I went home and, along with her family, we worked on my puzzle that I may have mentioned earlier. It took us 8 hours, but by 6 am we finished it. It was pretty nice. This morning we started a new puzzle, and then I went home. I've eaten pretty well, until I didn't. I had a granola bar for 150 cals, and miso soup for 35. I've recently lowered my intake to 500 a day. I've lost a pound now, so that's nice. I have to go shopping for new pants now, this time in the kids section. My friend Megan gave me a pair that she thought would fit me better than my baggy size 00's, and they did. They were a kids size 8. Interesting. They're too short, but the waist and legs are perfect. I'll just have to start rolling up my pants to look like capris. I just had a donut at my father's suggestion, so I feel like shit. I'm going to shower and purge. I'd love to hit my first goal weight soon. I'm only two lbs away now.
