#they cracked the code

"Guess what happened in Glasgow last night?" he replied. It was Noel Gallagher, and the band were Oasis. Noel told me how Alan McGee had barged backstage after their now-legendary gig at King Tut's Wah Wah Hut, and signed them on the spot. I threatened him with battery if he was lying. I interviewed a still-reeling Noel that day, alongside an admittedly unpredictable but otherwise sweet and pleasant Liam, who tempered his obvious glee by striding around in a show of brash, comedy bravado.

There were no fraternal fisticuffs, just some genial ribbing, as Noel – clearly in control and articulate as ever – reined in the overexcited Liam. I remember Noel's exquisite but compact music collection, including the Stones (Noel used a photo of a young Mick Jagger on his backstage photo-pass and nobody noticed) and early REM (I don't remember seeing any Beatles). The result was the first full article on Oasis to run anywhere.

The signs were already there. A friend rented the rehearsal room next door. He'd hear a massive Gallagher bust-up, sullen silence, and then they'd play I Am the Walrus ad infinitum.

I witnessed their live debut. No matter what you think of them, they had the tunes, and even for an audience of roughly 25, Liam exhibited that trademark swagger, as if he was headlining Glastonbury, not the Boardwalk. Geoff Travis of Rough Trade checked out the long-forgotten support band, leaving soon after. My snippet in the MEN was headlined: "Oasis Are Going Places". They were, and they did.

Everything got silly. I sent a mutual friend in America the ridiculous Oasis Xmas wrapping paper, free with the NME. Liam became red-top gossip fodder. Previously, I'd seen him at the Hacienda, already targeted by several adventurous ladies. Noel's then girlfriend (who apparently said: "Your music's shite/ It keeps me up all night.") whispered, "That boy's heading for trouble - Noel's warned him."

HEAR YE! HEAR YE! BEWITCH UNDERSTANDS! BEWITCH HAS CRACKED THE CODE! BEWITCH KNOWS ALL! THIS IS JUST HOW IT’S SUPPOSED TO BE NOW, THIS IS JUST THE CANON THAT STAFF-SAN WON’T BRING US SINCE IT WILL DISSOLVE OUR MINDS! THEY DIDN’T BRING IN THE RELIGIOUS AU CUZ THEY WANTED US WRITHING IN THEIR GRUBBY LITTLE HANDS, SQUIRMING AND WORMING AND PLEADING TO THEM! THEY ARE MASOCHISTS! THEY WANT US TO SUFFER WITHOUT THE DEMON AUs WHEN IN TRUTH WE BROUGHT THEM BACK TO LIFE IN OUR WORKS! H A! YOU DON’T WIN THIS ROUND, STAFF-SAN! YOU DON’T!