#thewritingcrew

that it physically hurts

and the time difference sucks

- i say to you

i left my heart with you

and i’m 99.5% sure you’ll keep it safe:

the .5% is just in case life happens

- i think to myself

every song reminds me of him

i dream of him now and then

he’s in every word i write

i wish he were here with me

- the universe already knows

There’s a broken girl

No don’t look...you’ll want to hurl

She is crying and sighing...its pathetically sad

There is a broken girl

No don;t picture a pretty one

Her face is smudged by the rum, 

running down her hairy body.

She is ugly, not tragic

She is ugly and its ugly.

Boys do not want to save her

She lies to her friends

Screams at her mother

Her teachers sigh as she skips school

As she skips on life

They cry, as she skips towards

Her homemade coffin

Fuck you Hollywood.

Sure its okay to have a mental health issue and talk

But its a fun road trip that cures it in the end you said

Now half the world wants to be dead.

Alternative and creative type are we?

But scars in a white dress isn’t pretty you see.

Please just notice

This isn’t solved by the cute boy’s kiss.

No road trip, no montage

No soundtrack, no epiphany

There is just pain and hurt

The doctors voice is curt (You’re an idiot you see)

All hope is not lost 

I’m just saying- consider the  cost

For those of you

Out there who

Are like the broken girl too

That’s okay because

for @bellsblake! happy birthday hannah <3

fluffy high school prom au, friends to lovers with a bit of fake dating ;)

rated: teen+ [ read on AO3 ]

Clarke often teased Bellamy by saying that he could read through anything, that it would take the book spontaneously combusting in his hands to startle him out of his literary worlds, but it was clearly not true. Case in point: he looked up now as she stormed into his living room, scowling at her phone.

“What happened?” he asked, carefully bookmarking his page before setting the novel aside. This had all the makings of a minor crisis, and he wasn’t sure yet whether to be more concerned for his best friend or whatever (whoever?) had pissed her off. No one could hold a grudge like Octavia, but no one could plot revenge like Clarke and that was scarier, in his opinion.

“Prom.”

“I thought you and Raven decided to go together after you found out Collins was a two-timing bastard. Something go wrong?”

“Luna asked her, and she said yes. I’m happy for her, of course,” Clarke added hastily. “You know she’s had a bit of a crush on Luna for years, and they’re really cute together. But I don’t want to go alone, and I don’t want to third-wheel them. Plus Finn’s been trying to get me alone — he just won’t take the hint that I don’t trust that ‘this time I’d be his one and only,’ nor do I want to be — and I don’t feel like dealing with that all night.”

Bellamy sensed a scheme coming. “So what are you going to do about it?”

Sitting up slightly, Clarke looked him directly in the eyes with an expression he knew all too well.

“Oh, hell no. Don’t drag me into another —”

“Please, Bellamy? I need you.”

“I said no, princess.” And it was one of the hardest things he’d ever done, considering she was giving him that look and saying a line straight from his guilty fantasies.

“Okay, I didn’t want to play this card, but … you do still owe me for giving your sister the girl talk so you wouldn’t have to. And I’ll pay you fifty bucks.”

He groaned, knowing she had him there. “Is this your formal asking? I thought promposals were supposed to be fancy.”

“I’ll make you a poster tonight.” Issue settled, Clarke flopped comfortably against him — he hoped she couldn’t feel how fast his heart was pounding; after being friends for so long, he really should have better control over his physiological reactions to her proximity, but his princess just had that effect. “In the meantime, what are you watching on Netflix?”

The Princess [crown emoji]

Meet me outside Kane’s classroom after school?

I’ll be there.

As luck would have it, Bellamy was held up on his way to meet Clarke for what he was eighty-percent sure was a ridiculously extravagant promposal.

“Hey man, do you have the soccer practice schedule? I might’ve lost mine.”

“Might have? How do you — Actually, I don’t want to know. Look, Murphy, I’ve got to run; message me later and I’ll send you a copy.”

To Bellamy’s surprise, Murphy moved to block his path. “Do you think promposals are too sentimental?”

“What?” (Was John Murphy blushing?)

“I was thinking about asking Emori, but I dunno if she’d think it was too — never mind. You don’t care.”

“Murphy. Hey, listen to me. Anyone can see the way Emori looks at you, and the way you look at her. The way you gravitate toward each other. You should ask her.”

“Huh.” Murphy looked thoughtful, and Bellamy was about to try again to get past him when Murphy’s phone chimed. Pulling it out from his back pocket, he glanced at the screen and grinned. “Anyway, I’ll get out of your way now. You’ve got your own promposal to worry about.”

And with that he was gone, leaving Bellamy wondering how Clarke had managed to recruit him before he remembered that she was waiting for him, and he’d much rather be wherever she was.

When he rounded the corner of the history wing, naturally the first thing he noticed was the glee in Clarke’s posture, all but bouncing up and down behind the poster she was holding up.

“You may BE LLAMe, but You’re my choice for a prom date.” He shook his head. “That’s pretty awful, even for you.”

“That’s not a no,” she pointed out, as if there were ever a question. “So, prom?”

It was then that Bellamy noticed the small crowd around them. He might not be very popular, but Clarke was; and in any case, prom askings always managed to draw a fair amount of attention. (It was something Clarke herself had complained about before, the peer pressure to say yes just because so many people were watching.) Among the gathered students was a disappointed-looking Finn Collins, who looked as though he wanted to object but wasn’t sure how to justify himself if he did.

“Of course, princess,” Bellamy said, instead of commenting on any of these observations, and staggered back a step when Clarke threw her arms around him. “You know I was joking about the promposal,” he murmured in her ear, gratified to feel her shiver and squeeze him tighter.

“You know, I wouldn’t have pegged you for the type. Just goes to show you that you can never tell what kind of person someone is, I guess.”

“Excuse me?” True to Clarke’s prediction, Finn Collins had been glowering in their general direction for much of the night. The surprise was that he was confronting Bellamy instead of Clarke, who was in the bathroom, and that he was doing it in the middle of the event. “Since when have we been BFFLs?”

“Haha, very funny. Seriously, did you blackmail her? Bribe her?”

It took him a second to figure it out. “Wait, you think I made Clarke come to prom with me?”

“Well, yeah! Why else would she be here with you, of all people?”

“Meaning, not with you?” Bellamy guessed, fighting the urge to snicker. Clearly Collins didn’t know Clarke nearly as well as he’d like to think, if he seriously believed what he was saying. “It may come as an unpleasant surprise to you, but we’re —”

“— dating,” Clarke cut in smoothly, tucking herself under Bellamy’s arm. “Bye, Finn.”

As they walked away, leaving him gawking in disbelief, Clarke sighed. “Sorry, I just figured that would be the most effective way to get him to shut up. Anyway, dance with me?”

“I don’t dance.”

“What, you don’t want to join our fine classmates in middle-school style swaying back and forth with room for Jesus in between us?”

“Tempting, but no thanks. How about we get a drink instead?”

She laughed at his half-joke, which was pretty good considering the most he’d hoped for was a half-smile. “You hate everything they’re serving. Plus, Monty and Jasper didn’t come, so odds are the punch isn’t spiked.”

“Damn, there go my plans for the night.” Clarke’s grin, Bellamy decided then and there, was the best thing he’d ever seen. Her happiness was contagious, as intoxicating as any alcohol or drug, and perhaps it was the source of the courage that allowed him to say, “You know you’re my favorite person?”

“Same for you.”

“No, listen.” He disentangled himself from her so he could make eye contact, needing her to understand. “I know you told Collins we were dating to get him to leave you alone because he was making you uncomfortable, and I’d never want you to feel like that with me. You know I’ll respect your boundaries, that if you say no I’ll back off immediately, and —”

“Bellamy, breathe.” She placed a gentle hand on his chest, right above his heart. “Are you saying what I think you’re saying?”

The anticipation in her eyes — at least, he was pretty sure that’s what it was — gave him hope.

“Clarke, will you go out with me?”

If her amused smile was radiant, the expression she wore now was positively incandescent. “Of course. And for the record, I’ll never want you to leave me alone. I want to spend eons with you, Bellamy Blake.”

His own grin was probably ridiculous, but he couldn’t bring himself to care. “That’s good, I was really worried you’d —”

Rated: Mature Warning(s): Underage (Read on AO3)

part one・ part three・playlist 

“Dude,” Miller huffed, amused at Bellamy’s retelling of the incident. “I wouldn’t believe it, but it’s you.”

“Bellamy Blake, human disaster,” Raven agreed. “Come on. Just because she says she’s got a boyfriend doesn’t mean she actually does; that’s just what girls say. It’s basically an anti-douchebag reflex.”

Miller raised an eyebrow. “Like you’ve ever done it.”

She sighed dramatically. “In a perfect, non-patriarchal society, absolutely not. But some boys won’t take no unless it’s coming from another guy, so…”

“So — to return to the topic at hand, aka my actual crisis — doesn’t the fact that she said she had a boyfriend negate any signals she may or may not have been sending?” Bellamy let his head drop to the diner table. “Why are girls so complicated?”

“Hey,” Raven interjected mildly.

This is my first attempt at anything like meta; please go easy on me. Hopefully some of this makes sense!

So I just rewatched 4x02, and maybe this has already been pointed out, but I was really struck by the possibility that Octavia recognizes something of her brother - specifically, his 3a arc - in Ilian. 

I want to start by saying that I am in no way condoning Octavia’s actions (the most relevant of which, in this case, are probably the murder of Rafel and Pike, plus the s3 beating); but my intent here is to analyze them, not pass judgment.

The most obvious comparison between Bellamy and Ilian, I think, is their situation: young men driven by guilt and anger, following a charismatic bloodthirsty leader who promises them revenge against another party for their murdered family (because make no mistake, the delinquents are Bellamy’s family). Both Bellamy and Ilian had their doubts about what they’re being asked to do (“We went too far” / “Skaikru did this, not the King”) but ultimately would have continued on this path if not for external circumstances that include said leader’s death.

Now, I’m certainly not saying that Octavia killed Rafel just to save Ilian or anything, but I am proposing that it was a factor in her decision. I was as appalled as anyone by her actions here, but I think it’s a possibility that part of her motivation on some level she was hoping to save Ilian from going as far as Bellamy did. I’m also not in any way implying that Octavia killing Pike “saved” Bellamy or anything - he came to his senses on his own before then; I’m just pointing out the connection here.