Some bad films are so much fun to discuss they almost sound like theyâre worth seeing. Then youâve got those like The Unborn that just sort of sit there, looking pathetic. If youâd seen the film previously and thought the âUnratedâ version would change things, youâd be wrong. Itâs only a minute longer and adds nothing!
Casey (Odette Yustman) is having nightmares and hallucinations about a strange blue-eyed child stalking her and repeating that âJumby wants to be born nowâ. Digging into her past, she fears she is being haunted by a dybbuk, an evil spirit that used to be human.
If only this film was as simple as a standard demonic possession/exorcism movie. The Unborn goes into all kinds of nutty directions, each more perplexing than the last. Itâs as if the film started as something completely different. Then, realizing what he had scribed wouldn't excite audiences, writer/director David S. Goyer lept to another idea, only for the cycle to repeat itself. Iâll tell you what I mean in a moment, but letâs keep this portion of the review spoiler-free.
Throughout, there are many head-scratching developments. Not the kind that doesnât make sense within the story, I mean the type no one in their right mind would consider good ideas. They couldâve been forgiven (to a certain extent) if the results were scary, but they aren't. I understand the malicious spirit of someone dead is a bone-chilling idea, but when it takes the shape of a dog with a mask, an old man in a wheelchair, or a little kid, there won't be any nightmares tonight. In general, I donât find pint-sized adversaries intimidating or frightening. Anything I could pick up and hurl out of a window I'm confident I could escape from. Children called âJumbyâ have to rank among the top 10 of âThings that are definitely not creepyâ. Even with the LOUD NOISES and jump scares, it struggles to even startle.
I think I know how this film came about. Goyer attended Hebrew school and, being in the film industry realized that there are a lot of Christian horror films, but not a lot of Jewish ones. From there, he latched onto the dibbuk. Unfortunately, this monster wouldnât be enough for an entire film, not an original one at least... unless the dibbuk was the spirit of an unborn child! But for the plot to make sense, the spirit would have to torment someone it would realistically resent. What if it was our protagonist's unborn twin? While researching twins, he learned that some twins may change eye colour during their lifetime. That lead him to the monstrous experiments of Nazi doctor Josef Mengele, who attempted to change the eye colour of twins. The Holocaust? A Jewish supernatural creature? It all comes back full circle! It would almost be smart if it didnât make you so uneasy to hear about real-world horrors used for a cheap spookfest.
There are some aspects of The Unborn that make it memorable, but not in a good way. The cast, for example, includes Meagan Good, Gary Oldman, Idris Elba, and Carla Gugino. The fact that the haunt targetting our heroine is called âJumbyâ is unforgettable as well. The baffling twists throughout stick with you long after the film is gone. The film as a whole? Not worth taking a look at, even as something you watch with friends and ridicule. (Unrated version on DVD, March 23, 2017)
