#thesock

August 2 I have always wanted my own vacuum. To think of all the places it could take me, to think of all the places my mom has gone on hers—I just really want one of my own. She told me about this one time she was gone for about a week on it and when she came back, it was like she was coming back to a brand new place. She said whenever she uses it, it’s like she never visits the same place twice. I want that. I want to visit every nook and cranny of this world, of this universe, of the cosmos! I don’t really know what that means, but I think I’d like that. I hear these stories all the time. Jimbo told me about the time he used one and said it was as if time stood still. He told me he saw things he didn’t even know existed and that when he got back, it was as if he had a brand new room! I couldn’t believe it. He has the biggest room in the house, you know. He has the widest wall with the smoothest and the absolute perfect amount of space to fit the exact amount of poster maps of my trilogy set. What I would give to have that room. AND to think, he gets a new room?! Jeez. Now, I know what you must be thinking, a…vacuum? Isn’t that that annoying device that makes a ruckus and scares the housecat and makes him shoot across the floor like lightning? Yes, yes. I’m aware of what you might think this vacuum is, but I’m telling you—this one is different. THIS one can actually take you to places that you’ve never been before! I mean, c’mon! Mom’s and Jimbo’s stories? There’s no way they made that up. Noway! I mean, they both have their own. Who would want their own vacuum if all it did was clean a room? Jimbo tells me not to touch his and that I’m not allowed to get my own until I hit double-digits. He says if I don't, I might poof into a constellation that I’ve never heard of before! He says I might get lost and be gone for good because I haven’t read the manual. When I asked to read his, he said that manuals are made for their specific owners and so the writing is in a special language only the bestowed-upon can understand. Rats! I can’t wait to hit double-digits—ooh, I just can’t wait!

August 3 I’ve tried waiting and it seems that time is going by awfully slow. I thought, by now, I’d be at least one digit higher. Jimbo must be teasing me again. He must have taken me on his vacuum last night and taken me back a year or something. There’s no way that time is going by this slow. I just, rats. Rats!

August 4 That’s it. It has to be Jimbo. I just know it’s him. This morning, I woke up and one of my socks was missing. Usually, when that happens, it’s hanging off my bed or buried somewhere underneath my sheets somewhere. Today? Gone. GONE! I'll bet it’s floating around in some universe. I'll bet! I need that sock…or, at least, that’s what I’m going to tell Jimbo after I sneak into his room tonight. I know you don’t believe me about this vacuum business. But after tonight? You definitely will. Jimbo will get a taste of his own medicine too! If I end up in some random universe, it’ll be okay. I’m taking my poster maps of my trilogy set and I’ll be sure to find a nice smooth wall to connect them all into the largest map ever in the new universe I find. I’ll even try to find a way to postage Jimbo back a photo of it. It’ll be bigger than his smooth wall, that’s for sure. Take that, Jimbo! No more sneaking me around universes and dropping my socks off in them. You’ll see, ha!

August 9 It’s been a dreadful week. I haven’t had the heart to update you because I honestly haven’t had the stomach to digest this bit of information. I’ve also been sitting on a heap of my own thoughts and been going back and forth on whether I even want to tell you. To be honest? I thought about just throwing you out. If I just “forgot” where I left you, then maybe I wouldn’t have to tell you the awful news that I figured out. But I’m back. It was that house cat that convinced me so. I have never seen him pounce like that and kick over the trash can, but he did. I’m not too into signs or anything, but if I ever saw one, that was it. So here I am, universe, here I am. Anyway, I’ll recap the night for you. So, I had a genius plan that night. I even did a yawning bit before Jimbo and convinced him I was droopy eyed and ready for bed. I pretended to fall asleep while talking to him and did a couple of “huh, what’d you say? Oh, I must be tired” while he was trying to give me some type of lecture. It was about cleaning my room or something. Anyway, that happened and after I was sure his lights were out, I put my poster maps in a satchel, slung it over my shoulder and snuck in. I snuck in only to find him talking to some girl on the phone with the lights off. He was so angry with me. Turns out, he wasn’t supposed to be talking to her and me stumbling in there and yelping out in surprise and waking mom up really put a cactus spike on both of their nights. There was so much yelling, I just ran out of there. How was I supposed to know he wasn’t supposed to be talking to her? He wasn’t even talking! I couldn’t know! The plan seemed foiled, but I wasn’t ready to give up, especially after I blabbered on and on to you like I was some knight on a quest for a princess! Or, let’s make that a chocolate chest. I don’t really care for a princess right now, they’re way too pink. Anyway, I thought quickly and decided I’d hop on mom’s since she was momentarily subdued by Jimbo. Convenient? I guess I really am a genius! Well, I crawled into her room, plugged her vacuum in, closed my eyes, said “a smooth wall, please”, tightly gripped my satchel and pressed on. Boy, was I in for a surprise. Mom rushed into the room with Jimbo on her tail. She had that look she gets when she is in no-nonsense mode and I really wasn’t ready with my cute Bambi eyes. I freaked! I yelped again pretty loud. One because I didn’t expect her to be in another universe with me. Two because I thought she had grabbed ahold of me traveling. Three because I was actually impressed if she was able to do that. And then four because I really didn’t want Jimbo to take my new smooth wall in the new universe. Well, it didn’t last long until I realized that I was still at home. Mom made sure I knew that. She didn’t even use her mad voice, which I’d much rather be in the company of than the voice she actually used, which was her no-nonsense whisper. It’s scary because I have to lean in to hear what she’s saying, but you definitely wouldn’t want to lean in with that no-nonsense look staring right at you. I tried to state my cause and I explained to her what was happening and that I didn’t understand what I’d done wrong in order for the vacuum to work, but I promised I would wait ‘til I hit double-digits. I promised I wouldn’t try to sneak onto one again until I’d get my actual own with my own personalized manual. I promised her and I even crossed my heart in front of her. I was a little too scared to finish the rhyme, I didn’t want to “hope to die” or even “poke a needle in my eye,” but she didn’t seem to notice. Whew! Got away with that one. Well, it seemed to work! She actually just sighed and kissed me on the top of my head. It wasn't wet or anything, so I guess it was okay. It was the easiest punishment I’ve ever gotten until...she handed me to Jimbo and closed her door behind us. Jimbo looked at me once and instead of saying anything to me, he just smacked me on the back as if it was such a fun thing to do and smirked. He smirked! I guess he wasn’t mad at me after all. He asked me if I heard his lecture earlier, and I did another bit convincing him I had. By now, I was ready with my cute Bambi eyes and I was even adding a little bit of pouting I’d learned from this freckle-girled at school. Jimbo laughed, and I knew I got him. I told him my entire plan down to the missing sock and he had this look that said he was wondering if he should tell me something. He began apologizing to me and saying how bad of a brother he was, but, before he could finish, it was like he switched movies because his story changed almost completely. I was kind of confused, but I tuned back in when he mentioned the sock. He said that he was apologizing for the sock and that he would try to find it on his next run in on that universe. It might take a while, but he told me he’d somehow get it back to me. My brother. The best. Finally, he offered to make a deal with me. He said if I didn’t try any weird stunts like this again, he’d promise to take me on his vacuum at least once before I hit double-digits. I couldn’t believe it! I had to bury my head in his bed to keep my squeal from waking mom again! I couldn’t believe it! I agreed immediately. I was hopping around on Jimbo’s bed now, whispering a double Huzzah! while punching my eager fists into the air... when... the housecat walked in...

I immediately stopped jumping and I felt as though my poster maps had been shredded right in front of me. Jimbo stammered and tried to say something, but I didn’t hear him. My stomach turned and I'm pretty sure my face turned completely ghost-white. Well, do you want to know what it was I saw? Here’s why I needed a few days to recuperate. Okay, are you ready? Well, when the housecat strolled in, he was definitely grinning as he held something proudly in his mouth.

It was my missing sock.