#theroster

At minimum ….A man who requests a date in 36 hours or more in advance, can plan a date or offer suggestions outside the home, offers to pay, doesn’t have roommates but does have friends, initiates conversation, has a hobby that requires health or intelligence to some degree, has his own car, a career, a self-care routine, has food and alcohol in his fridge, stocked bathroom, and is over 30 years old.

Bonus: he has done one of each: has had a very serious relationship and has traveled outside of the country

New STARTER : special agent - man shit level (highest level) FLAG: moving away :(

DEPTH CHART: thxgiving guy (man shit level but I’m preoccupied with the starter at the moment), Red shirt: BWW (hit on me during my lunch break, firefighter #2 (random sub/free agent…Touch and go , Little interest but might be relevant if the starter wasn’t all star potential)

CUT: the golf kid (was benched last week and it’s evident now that he clearly is not ready for this league.) New rule instated because of him: no prospects younger than 2 years than me. I ain’t no Netflix and Chill girl yo. BYE FELICIA

Also cut but never made it on to the roster officially was "big wave rescuer"... He has a "gift that keeps on giving" I was warned in advance.

Definition: (when you or a former veteran from the roster make it known that you or they are available and probably interested in playing again. Can happen aggressively (ex. Direct messaging or physical displays of interest such as gifts or showing up places they know you'll be hoping to see you) or low key (ex. Suddenly "liking" a lot of your social media posts again) Well, this is where I'm at right now... I'm coming out of retirement with direct messaging but casual convo with The Ginger (why am I so weak?! 😫), meanwhile I'm recognizing a returning player's low key but high volume /frequency "likes" on my social media...This "returner" is a former flame that fizzled just before I met my ex-husband, and was there for me at the right time when I couldn't cut my first toxic veteran. I'll call this one, Mr. Portugal. Last time he was on my radar, I signed him the night we finally met out. He's a recycled guy though...I like to keep my numbers low. We have lots in common, lots of history with no bad blood and so it's just comfortable and easy. Roster activity: This week I had two dates from the roster, the referral guy aka "Pointy Nose" and "The Athlete", both of which made me realize a few things. 1) I need to establish criteria questions during these interviews 2) I don't think I want to continue pursuing either one at this time 3) if I don't have an immediate attraction to you, I'm one foot out the door. Sounds shallow but I've tried to play and it feels like just a practice. Player profiles UPDATED: Pointy Nose: Pros -we both like sports, he has a stable job with some disposable income, he took initiative to set up our date, researched places to go and things to do, provided options for me. Love that. He comes from blended families so understands my situation. Cons - he doesn't actually play sports or works out anymore, he plays XBOX and watches movies after work, above average interest in sci-fi, and he doesn't like leftovers?! No sparks --- STATUS: BYE or NOT STARTING Athletic guy: Pros- funny and goofy, puts self out there, has a job, plays the same sports, lives a fairly healthy lifestyle, same line of work. Cons- judgmental, thinks too highly of himself, too intense, admitted control freak, lives paycheck to paycheck, uses the same tricks to get me to communicate or meet him out, no spark --- STATUS : CUT Real Estate guy: Pros - persistent (continues to reach out to me after rejection), older by ten years, established and successful career, attractive (7.5/10), family oriented. Cons - I don't get his jokes ! Wants to be physically active again but hasn't done it yet / for a while... ---STATUS: BYE (again) , only because he's been so persistent and has pros > cons , I may give him another look, but I'm certainly not going to lead him on Coming out of retirement: The Ginger: embarrassed to say, but I DM'd and received neutral feedback Pros - attractive (9/10), funny Cons - #fuckboy ... --- STATUS: ACTIVE, waiting for response. Mr. Portugal: Pros- history, friends circles in common, sports, he's athletic, stable job, separate togetherness established, likes to do manly things, some expendable income, perks with his job, extremely family oriented Cons- athletic but not in fitness condition for a long time now and getting worse, non-committal/labeling type STATUS: ON RADAR

I am an attractive, young female with a large bust, flat stomach, bubbly butt, and sassy personality. I’m petite with an athletic build, have a sassy attitude and am close to my family. I am educated and enjoy my career. I’m a fitness lover, play sports, drink alcohol and am very social, resourceful, and independent. Help me win my Fantasy Dating League and earn $1,000.  

I begin this way to get your attention, not to purposely objectify myself, but B.S. aside, isn’t that how most attractions begin anyway? This blog is about a dating system I developed about seven years ago, I am now thirty years old, in which I figuratively play the field of single-dom and accumulate eligible bachelors to add to my “roster” in order to assess and rank my prospects. I used the system before I got married, I am separated now, but I’m noticing that the dating scene has upped it’s game to mirror something similar to a weekly, volume based sales quota with a pace fueled by cheap crack cocaine and a density similar to Coors Light. Lord, help me find my mate in this sea of fuckboys, pretentious pricks, tinder, real dating apps, and other poorly designed social activities for single people looking for real love.  

Anyone who has dated before knows  that candidates can disappear and reappear at any time. A night out with friends can inadvertantly reel in new additions to the roster, or current players/prospects (aka people you are currently talking to) can misbehave and get “benched”, may be “subbed out”, or are still “trying out” for a period of time while you seek out better players. The Roster is helpful (if you are familiar with team sports), but what makes dating even more challenging these days is damn technology. Social media and texting are the preferred methods of communication and visibility (aka the ability to be seen by prospects) can easily be doubled or tripled if you or your prospect are also available on social media and dating applications whilst being in public. Physically leaving your house used to be the only way to meet people, but now you can literally sit at a restaurant bar and simultaneously field prospects  on your social media and dating apps. For sales and recruitment (and casual hook ups), increasing your visibility is great, but for those of us truly looking to narrow the playing field, this is a mindfuck as each of your players  waits for the next better opportunity at the click of a button. The Roster is a subjective system that assists in accounting for all your prospects, including their stats such as, favorite plays and moves, history of fouls and bonus points, pros and cons, etc.

My intention behind The Roster and blog is not to be  judgemental, promiscuous, romantic, or malicious. My true aim is to find my all star player for life.  

There’s a lot of jargon here so let me outline the general vocabulary of The Roster. Again, a background in sports may help you understand the game better, but I suggest just getting out there and learn it as you go. Or just read my blog. I’ll get into my sports credentials another day, but for now just know I’ve played professionally and competitively. Finally, for the purpose of my blog, I will define terms based on my sexual preference, but this can be adapted for the opposite sex or sexual preference.  

Roster (n): The list of guys you are currently interested in that serve your purpose. We all have different purposes for dating I.e. finding the one, casual sex, lonliness, boredom, fear of being alone, etc. (My reason, btw, is to find the one, but I’m not desperate…yet)  

Veteran (n): A consistent man on your roster. These guys don’t have to be your favorites, but they are your “go to’s”. Example: At the end of the night, you were not successful in your scouting or had a bad date, so you may revert back to your veteran. Example: A guy you were seeing and things went sour, but you can guarantee that every few weeks you’ll end up hearing from them, or vice versa. Example: all unhealthy relationships. Example: A guy you should probably be with but you are keeping him on reserve because you yourself are looking for the next best thing. (We’re all guilty of this on both sides. See “How I Met Your Mother”: Season 5, Episode 16 Hooked.)

Starters (n): Basically, current top prospects. Your favorite(s) on your roster but nothing needs to have developed yet.  You feel or have communicated that there is a little bit more than a platonic interest there and you like that. Example: You’ve been texting or communicating moderately, somewhat flirty at times. They’ve asked you on a casual or formal date or you would like to ask them on one.  

Prospecting (v): Being visible and appearing available. You can do this in two ways: 1) being out in public 2) trolling social media or dating apps. (Note: my blog will likely refer to prospecting when I’m out in public)  

Red shirt (n): A guy you meet for the first time who’s showing interest (flirting). This could be so much as an offer to buy you a drink at the bar, an attempt at casual conversation in which you can laugh or bond over something, working out or doing some other activity in inexcusably close proximity, unnecessary (yet enjoyable) physical contact such as a hand on the back or waist (I tend to go for the shoulder or bicep;), or even just some serious eye-fucking.  

Red shirting (v): You and the new red shirt interacting.  

Date (n): Going out in public with one person with the mutual intention of giving each other your time and interest

Dating (v): Seeing someone consistently and regularly over a period of a few weeks (Note: 3 – 4 weeks is generally a fair number. Dating is not defined as exclusive until you have a DTR although you may choose to reserve yourself before then. See DTR.)

DTR (n or v): A discussion in which you “Define The Relationship”. Example questions: Are you seeing someone else? Would you like to be exclusive? What are we? Who is she!?

Substitution (v): When a veteran, date, or red shirting encounter is going poorly and you meet someone more interesting. This could be a permanent or temporary move.  

Cut or cutting (v): Removing someone from your roster permanently. This means you delete them from your phone and remove them from all social media. You may even need to frequent new bars, social scenes, break rooms, or pretend to move out of state. Typically this is only necessary if they made it onto the roster in the first place and you’ve reached or are approaching the state of “dating”. Note: It is typical to want to “cut” someone out of anger, and you may even do it, but if you go back to them, you are at least a “Level 7” crazy. See “Hot Crazy Matrix”: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hKWmFWRVLlU

Bench or benching (v): Setting someone aside or backing off of them because of bad behavior. Benching players usually follows a “three strikes and you’re out” rule.  Examples for benching: He didn’t return your text last night. He flaked on you again. He said hurtful things during an argument. You’re on your period. Stuff like that. Pro Tip: Use common sense.  

Scouting (v): (aka “prospecting”, “recruiting”, playing the field") It is the act of intentionally looking to add players to your roster. It shouldn’t appear eager (but this can take practice), part of it is just being visible.  

Drafting (v): When you and your wing girl(s) see some males that you like and need to call dibs. 

Tryouts (n or v): Situations, events, or venues in which you are available to interview new players to add to your roster. Examples: Weddings, going to bars and clubs, a friend’s birthday, bachelorette parties, outings in general.   I.e. What are you doing tonight? I am hosting tryouts at ____________ bar or restaurant.  I.e. Where will you be this weekend? Holding tryouts downtown (or at the gala, or casino, work party, etc.)  

Play (n or v): This term can easily be sexualized but it doesn’t need to mean that your got physically intimate with someone. This just means you noticed people intentionally appearing “available”. This term varies by interpretation so it may take some practice to learn who came to play or wants to play. See episodes “How I Met Your Mother”: Season 2: Episode 10, Single Stamina and Season 4: Episode 8, Woooo!  

Lap (v): Performed when scouting. Walking around a venue to check out who came to play. Bonus: Also increases your own visibility.  Should be conducted low key otherwise you may appear creepy. Pro tip: Try to finish the lap unless you really see someone you like.  

Radar (n): Someone who is piquing your interest but no action has transpired yet. Examples: a referral from a friend, a new comer to something you frequent, a very attractive person, etc. 

Now that you’re up to speed, here’s a peek at my current roster. My players have nicknames to preserve their identities but also to give you somewhat of a visual of who’s who. Who’s your pick? Help me win. Stay tuned for my next adventure.  

Current Roster:  

Veterans:  

The Manly Ginger – currently benched and soon to be cut – unhealthy cycle, man child but hot AF  

Starters:  

The athletic romantic - we share similar interests on paper

Depth Chart:  

Real Estate Guy – successful, kind, and 42 years old

The last guy I dated before I got married - We have a lot of history and local connections

Red Shirt (Note: red shirts are NOT on the roster and it does not mean they have the potential to be. I only included it now to better illustrate a “red shirt”) :  

Temp Name – old friend from 8 years ago… This person reached out to me on messenger literally as I typed this post up. Their questions about my life and current status insinuate an interest to make a connection. I do not red shirt them if they’re coming across as platonic. I’m actually very conservative about my assumptions of red shirt activity.  

Further details about these characters will come later if the player continues to have game. Remember, prospects can disappear or reappear at any time.  

FIVE ROSTER MEMBERS will have the chance to pitch a scripted series at our event during IFP Film Week (September 17 - 22, 2016) to an esteemed panel of judges, including Empire creator and award-winning filmmaker LEE DANIELS  

DO YOU HAVE AN IDEA FOR A SCRIPTED SERIES? PITCH US YOUR SHOW!

  Pitch, Please! is an open submission contest for The Roster's content creators Entry is free and easy! Submit a 1 minute video pitching your original idea for a scripted series. Your video should include a brief introduction followed by an “Elevator Pitch” of your treatment for a scripted series. You can watch a sample video submission HERE.  

WHO CAN ENTER

The contest is open to Roster members only. To join The Roster, sign up for free at www.ghettofilm.org/theroster There is no entry fee to submit a video pitch.

 WHEN IS THE CONTEST?

Contest entries will be accepted through September 6th 

25 semi-finalists announced on Monday, September 12th

5 finalists announced prior to IFP Film Week

Finalists to live pitch their idea as part of The Roster’s IFP Film Week event

PRIZES

** 25 semi-finalists will receive an All Access Pass to attend the IFP Screen Forward Conference during IFP Film Week ** ** 5 finalists will get the chance to pitch in front of our live pitch panel, plus receive key introductions and promotion during IFP Film Week ** ** Our grand prize winner will receive one-on-one meetings with influential members of the film/television community, including LEE DANIELS ** Entrants must be 18+ years old, a member of The Roster and live, work or go to school in the New York metropolitan area. 

Submit your video and official entry form here:  THE ROSTER PRESENTS PITCH, PLEASE!