#theressomething

There’s something. #smallworldstokyo #ariake #有明散歩 #theressomething (at Small Worlds Tokyo - スモールワールズ) https://www.instagram.com/p/Ci_hNjCv0Br/?igshid=NGJjMDIxMWI=

And this isn't anything new or something.. just what seems to be a typical teenage problem. It has come to my attention multiple times that I tend to push people away. And I mean everyone. I feel like if someone was to ask 'friends' of mine about me, things 'friends' would normally share amongst each other, they wouldn't know a thing about me. Sure, about 3 people know about my one critical temptation, but no one knows about my relapse. Not that anyone would care in the least. If you push people away, they won't hurt you, right? Or maybe they will in the long run but.. its a good safety precaution? Or am I wrong? I hate liking someone because I know eventually I'm going to push them away. I feel guilty liking someone because I'm basically leading them on, considering I KNOW I won't be able to stay with them when commitment comes around. I need to talk to someone and I need to be fixed. I can't go on like this.. I've had the option to have one of those relationships everyone wants, the cute playful ones, the mushy ones others are jealous of, and I feel like that is what I want, but when it comes down to it I just.. I can't. Help.