Reflection from my therapy session as a student of therapy on integrating the part of us that wants love.
I started therapy because I recognize I need that support. Overwhelming feelings and emotions, unprocessed pain, guilt, and shame. A closed heart that has been wounded too many times.
We used this method called internal family systems. It helps you integrate parts that were fragmented as a result of painful experiences or trauma to protect you. Love it.
But through that exploration, initial I would say, I found myself feeling like my heart chakra opened. She asked me to acknowledge and be compassionate to the me in the past that allowed people to take advantage of me, the me who was only seeking love, the me that felt alone. To recognize that part of us that wants love after we’ve been hurt trying yo find it multiple times is painful. You come face to face with the you that was wounded and ragged and you feel shame and embarrassment that was once you. But it is you. That part you was the most genuine because all it wanted was love. Not the you now that lies and says it doesn’t need it.
That’s where I am now. Learning to love that part of me more than I said I already did. Resolve that inner struggle within myself to integrate that part of back so I can receive love and look for it from the more mature and experienced me. To guide her better. To love her better.
