#theperfectman

more stuff from my insta, and it's Netherlands again

Wie mij een beetje kent, weet precies op wat voor soort mannen ik val. Ja op behaarde mannen, 10 dagen oude baardjes, snorren, beenhaar en ja zelfs okselhaar. Niets is mij te gek . De metroman wat tegenwoordig een ongelofelijke hype is, is mij te ijdel en niets voor mij. Echte mannelijkheid, daar val ik op. Maar wat is nou de definitie van mannelijkheid? 

https://hetvreemdgaanbureau.tumblr.com/de-perfecte-man

xoxo

I’m sure that we all agree that it is fun to dream sometimes. That’s what I’ve been doing for the past couple of weeks. Some of these dreams are a little out there, but hey, that’s why we call them dreams…

I’ve been dreaming of a time when money wouldn’t be an issue for me. Everyone is struggling right now. There are people out there who can’t pay their bills or get enough food on the table. There are others who have had to sell everything to just survive. I have this recurring dream that I will wake up and the lottery ticket that I bought will be lucky and have me hit the jackpot. I’m dreaming here, really I am. I realize the probability of winning the LotoMax or Lotto 649 here in Canada. I checked and the odds of winning LotoMax is a staggering 33,294,800 to 1 and lotto 649 is 1 in 13.9 million… So, it’s a dream. So why do I keep buying tickets? I do so because my money is tight too. I live in a home that was meant for two people’s wages. I’ve hung on to it and will continue. My poor old truck died two years ago and I had to buy a new (used) car… There are always a bunch of expenses…

I dream about travelling the world. I think that I stand a better chance with this one. If I can manage to retire comfortably, then I can probably travel on a regular basis. I dream about going to Australia, New Zealand, South America, Japan and Norway. I’d love to explore the UK and follow the path of my ancestors, the Vikings. By the way, they have the bad rap of being pillagers and rapists and murderers. Not that different from any cultures. There were a lot of bloody situations. I digress though. The Vikings were actually excellent farmers and once they settled in England, they calmed down. There are a ton of references to the Vikings in English history, so I’d love to pursue it.

I’ve had several long term relationships with me. Some of them were actually very fulfilling and non dysfunctional. I’ve written about my former marriage to a raging narcissist so I won’t go into that, the one that followed my ex husband, who turned out to be more of a narcissist than my ex husband.  Live and learn they say. It brings up the question of what would I want in a relationship?

We all dream of our white knight on a horse. There were times when I settled on someone who was breathing… All humour aside, I felt that any attention was attention at least. I allowed a lot of nonsense to go on in some of my relationships, in which I played a part. Nonetheless, I have this little dream about meeting a man at my age. So, what would he be like?

Above all, he would have a good head on his shoulders and he would able to realize what I’ve spent years learning - to take care of oneself first in order to allow someone into your life. Secondly, he would be happy to receive me the way that I am - my quirks, my injuries, my snoring and loud disco music sessions as I make dinner. Ultimately, I want a man who will not want to change me. I would honour him in the same way: accept him for who he is. I don’t think it is too much to want to find a man who loves to smile, loves to have fun and isn’t afraid to show his emotions. I do cry at certain times at the movies and on Netflix. I don’t often get the change for someone to see that though. So, if he cries at sad and moving movies, great. Maybe it’ll loosen me up enough to do the same. I’d like someone who wants to experiment with life and get out and do things that are just wishes - like skydiving or climbing Kilimanjaro. They don’t even have to be that grandiose. I’d be happy to get up at a karaoke and actually sing in front of people or learn to dance like no one is watching. Someone who has the desire to seek these things out would make me very happy. By the way, if he were to like to sit on the couch and watch science fiction or whatever would be nice too.

My good friend, Maddox, who has a podcast called “The Authentic Gay Man Podcast,” told me that if we believe that it is possible then one day it will happen. He says that if we emit high positive energy, we are more likely to meet people the same as me. So, I have worked on my energetic attraction and learned a lot about myself. I think that it has enabled me to see that there will be someone out there for me and that it could happen at anytime. Tell you what, if it does happen, I will write a blog entry about it. I think I will title it, “Door 1, Door 2, or Door 3? He’ll be behind Door 1!